The Baron Chronicles

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  • #198376
    Ruth
    @rae
      • Rank: Chosen One
      • Total Posts: 4176

      @raxforge (I changed a few things in the story btw) @ellette-giselle @keilah-h @whalekeeper @hybridlore @theducktator

      Story 10!

      Only two more stories and then The Baron Chronicles will come to a close. Thx for reading this far! 💜

       

      Fire

      The blaze in the fireplace crackled. Baron balanced a pencil on his hand, staring down at his rose drawing on the the piece of paper resting on his lap. Doctor Handel sat across from him, talking with him about various subjects.

      They spoke of many topics, from the Bloodsilver to the nature of the wind and the relationship between the wind and earth. Finally, they alighted on the topic of Baron’s health.

      “It’s been about a month, and you’ve recovered well. If anything, I’d say you are healthier than when you came here,” Dr. Handel noted, adjusting his round glasses. Baron was finally filling out his own clothes. He had even begun helping Andy with a lot of work at the stables, building back his strength. “I know you didn’t want to stay here at all in the beginning, do you still wish to leave?”

      “No, I don’t wish to, but I think I must. If the Bloodsilver does come,” Baron shuddered, “I’d hate to think what they’d do.”

      “Do you plan to stay in the city?”

      Baron pondered for a moment. “I’m not sure, Doctor. I probably shouldn’t, but I honestly hesitate to leave.” Baron erased a portion of the rose, going back over with his pencil to fix some mistake he saw. “You know I have grown fond of your daughter, and I know she is fond of me, but I still worry that one day the Bloodsilver will find me here.”

      Dr. Handel nodded. “I understand. You are strong enough to leave now, but I have one request before you go.”

      Baron set down his pencil, looking up at Dr. Handel. “Name it.”

      “Take Jenna out for a ride. Spend a little time with her. It will help her heart rest when you leave.”

      Baron nodded. “I will, Doctor.”

      “Thank you.” Dr. Handel rose from his seat, peering at Baron’s paper. “That is a very pretty rose.”

      “Thank you, though I fear I’m not as good as I used to be at such doodles.”

      “Jenna will like it whether it is the most perfect drawing or not.”

      A pleasant smile crossed over Baron’s face. “Yes, she will.” Then he laughed a little, looking at the drawing. “Most of her love will be bias though, I’m sure!”

      Dr. Handel shrugged. “Is that a bad thing?”

      “No, I don’t think so, as long as she likes it.”

      “Exactly.” Dr. Handel patted Baron’s shoulder as he walked past him and out of the room.

       

       

      Baron swung his leg over Lucky’s back, settling himself on the horse. Jenna sat side-saddle on a beautiful black horse standing next to Lucky.

      “I didn’t know you knew how to ride bareback,” Jenna commented.

      Baron laughed. “I have no idea how to ride with a saddle! It’s uncomfortable to me.” He nudged Lucky with his heels, and the horse began walking forward, Jenna’s horse following.

      Jenna took in a deep breath. “Don’t you love it when the air smells like pure white?”

      “It is pleasant, isn’t it? Everything is so beautiful today. Especially you.”

      Jenna blushed a little, her gaze alighting on Baron, who was watching her. “You look nice yourself.”

      “Even with this?” Baron asked, pulling down his scarf so that Jenna could see a bit of his scar peeking out.

      “I don’t mind it, though I assume you do.”

      Baron ran his finger over the scar thoughtfully. “I’m more annoyed to have such a defining feature than that it exists. Sure, my hair glowing silver is defining, but at least in sunlight I look like any other Albandran or Randin with light hair.”

      “Hence the scarf to hide it so it’s harder for the Bloodsilver to find you.”

      “Yes. Speaking of which, you know I will have to leave soon, right?” Baron asked, seriousness seeping into his tone.

      A sad expression passed over Jenna’s face. “Yeah, I know. I still don’t want you to go.”

      “I know, I don’t really want to either, to be honest with you, Jenna.” The two of them fell silent. Baron focused on Lucky’s shifting muscles underneath him, finding that old unity between man and horse. Finally he spoke again, “I’m sorry, but I can’t bear the idea of Faren coming here and hurting you. If I leave, hopefully he won’t.”

      “I’m still not clear on who this Faren is.”

      “He was once the person I called brother, a Fire Wielder, but then I betrayed him and Father to protect a little girl. Since then, he has been hunting me. I’m sorry, Jenna, I genuinely don’t want to leave, but I also don’t want you or your family, or Ken, or anyone else to get hurt.”

      Jenna nodded. “I understand.”

      “Thank you.”

      They rode for another half hour talking about less heavy subjects before turning their horses around and heading back.

      As they rode, Lucky suddenly stopped, his ears perking up. Jenna’s horse also stopped. “What’s wrong?” She asked as Baron stiffened.

      “Smoke.”

      Jenna lifted up her gaze, seeing curling smoke on the horizon. She gasped.

      Baron dug his heels into Lucky’s sides, and the horse picked up to a canter, than a gallop, just as he had done that fateful evening when Faren killed Granny. Jenna spurred her horse as well.

      Reaching the stables, Baron swung down from Lucky. “Andy! Andy!” Andy was there in a second.

      “The fire is up at the mansion, I’ll keep Jenna here.”

      “Thank you.” Baron handed the reins to his friend. A great wind rose around him, and he was gone.

      Jenna gripped her horses reins tighter, readying to force him after Baron, but Andy caught the bridle. “You’re staying here.”

      “But–“

      “No offense, Miss Jenna, but there’s nothing you can do to help him. You will only be a hindrance.”

      “But my family!”

      “Baron will make sure they’re safe. You stay with me, out of his way.”

      Jenna reluctantly came down from her horse, sitting on a bale of hay and wringing her riding gloves with worry.

       

       

      Baron dropped his wind, shakily releasing a breath as he saw the flames licking at the mansion. Not again, please not again. His eyes alighted upon the man responsible for the blaze, standing on the ground in front of the once great front doors to Jenna’s home.

      His body felt that familiar tug as the wind came at his command, twisting and curling about him in invisible threads. It threatened him, as it always did, to spiral out of control and tear his body apart. He hardened his will, commanding it to obey him with a harsh, unspoken command.

      Before him stood his friend, his brother turned enemy, consumed by his orange flames. But even through the fire, Baron caught the cold gaze of his eyes and the flash of an evil smile.

      Oh how had it come to this? After all those years that Faren and he had spent together, grown up together, how had it come to them fighting as Baron’s new world burned? Baron could still remember the day they had met as children, how Baron’s green eyes, devoid of any purpose in life, met those blue, those blue that were then so bright and cheery. The bright eyes of a child who still had hope in the world. He still remembered when Father had told them about their powers, and when they had discovered how to control them together. He remembered the first time each of them killed, how proud Father had been of them, how Faren’s eyes had sparkled to be so praised by the man who had rescued him. Back then, he was merely a child inside, thinking that somehow obeying Father was right, no matter what. He had his child-like innocence then, trusting in those who he saw as his protectors and elders. But somewhere along the line, Faren changed, and with that change came that cold look, that icy gaze that not even Baron could sometimes stand to gaze back into. Somewhere, somehow, that faith that he was doing was right because Father said so ended, but instead of turning from his ways, Faren had leaned further into them. He chose his path. The path of the feared assassin, the feared Fire Wielder who loved to burn all that was in his way. Why Faren, the one who always had the cheery gleam in his eye, decided the path of the cold-blooded killer was unknown even to Baron. All Baron truly knew now was that that gleam was gone, and that child was gone. Now, standing before him amid his familiar flames was a murderer colder than even Baron.

      “This ends today, Baron.”

      Baron clenched his jaw. He couldn’t get inside the mansion past Faren. He could only hope and trust that Ken had ushered Mr and Mrs Handel and the servants safely outside of the house. “You better not have hurt anyone!”

      Faren shrugged. “One thing about fire, you can never completely control it.” His devilish smile deepened, “For all I know, a stray flicker could have caught fire to a lady’s dress. It certainly sounded like it.”

      No! No, please no. God, Immanuel, whoever You are, please, if You ever grant one prayer I give, please let them all be safe. Baron prayed, shaking at the thought of another loss because he stayed too long in one place.

      “Don’t like that idea, do you?” Faren scoffed. “It used to be you were fine with screams. You’ve grown soft, and what did Father say about soft people? Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten.”

      Baron pulled at the wind, issuing his unspoken commands, gathering it into an attack that he soon released. A powerful gust shot towards Faren. But the Fire Wielder had warning of the coming attack, for his flames flickered before the full force of the concentrated wind hit him. He stepped out of it’s path, casting his own attack of fire at Baron. Baron created a wall of wind, detouring the flames.

      “You will leave here, or I will kill you!” Baron shouted as he sent another gust towards Faren, stronger this time. As he sent another one to account for Faren dodging, the wind’s threatening began to become reality as pain seared through his body. He bit his tongue. He was severely out of practice controlling his wind.

      “You’re too weak!” Faren responded, dodging the first shot of wind, and using the second to help fan and fuel his flames. “I’ve learned, I’ve grown, while you, you have only wasted away. Where is the trained assassin? Where is the feared Wind Charmer? I don’t see him anywhere, all I see is some pretender, some weakling!” Faren taunted.

      Baron raised another wall of wind to divert the flames away from him as the fire spread. Faren used this as a distraction, getting close to Baron. Baron caught the sight of his blond hair out of the corner of his eye before Faren could end him. At his call, the wind separated him and the Fire Wielder, but not before Faren managed to burn his shoulder. Baron hissed and snuffed out the flames as quickly as he could.

      Faren cast out his fire again, and the wind came soaring, once again holding it away from Baron. Suddenly, Baron doubled over, coughing up blood as Faren laughed.

      “Reaching your limit? You’ll perish soon.”

      “Please Faren, you don’t have to do this,” Baron wheezed, trying to straighten. “You don’t have to work for Father anymore, you can be free, like me.”

      “Free?!” Faren shook his head. “Since when are you free? You aren’t free, and you never will be! Not until death’s blade touches your neck will you be free Baron! You will always be hunted, either by me or by other shadows of your past. Give up this battle, let me truly free you!”

      Oh, if Faren had only come a few months before! Then Baron would have given up. Then Baron would have let Faren release him from the chains of life. But he couldn’t now. He had found friends, people who cared for him, and a woman whom he loved. He wouldn’t let Faren win, he wished to live on. “Is there nothing that would dissuade you?”

      “Nothing!”

      “Please, Faren, don’t make me.” Baron shuddered. He didn’t want to kill again, but what other option was there if Faren didn’t relent?

      Faren laughed. “One of us won’t be leaving here alive, and I don’t intend to die today! I’ve grown, Baron, I could set this entire city on fire, I can destroy you!”

      Please, God, don’t make me kill again. Even if it’s someone as evil as Faren, please don’t make me do it, he pleaded, but he knew there was no way out of this. He’d have to do it.

      He’d have to kill again.

      Baron reached into his boot, drawing out a knife. He gathered a whirlwind about him, ignoring the pain, ready to use it to spring forward and end everything with a single swipe of his blade. Just like he had done so many times before as the Silver Streak.

      As he sprang forward, Faren struck. Baron tried to raise a second wind to blow away the flames, but the wind spiraled from his control. A twisted smile crossed Faren’s face as he heard Baron’s pained yell.

      After hesitating a second, Faren used his powers to extinguish the flames around and on Baron. Baron lay on the ground, coughing up more blood. His vision went in and out of focus as Faren approached, picking up Baron’s knife which he had dropped. “I told you that I didn’t intend to die today. After you betrayed Father and I, it will be a pleasure to kill you like I should’ve done when you tried to escape with that little girl. Speaking of her, where have you hidden her? If you tell me, I will spare the lives of any survivors of my blaze.”

      Baron’s heart pounded wildly in his chest. He tried to move, to rise, to gain a bit of strength to stop Faren, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t ignore the pain racking through his body. He clenched his eyes shut as a tear slipped free as he realized the choice that Faren had given him; either sacrifice Rya, or Jenna and her family. “Please, no,” Baron whimpered. Why God? Why do I have to choose?

      “Can’t decide who to sacrifice? Fine, I’ll just kill everyone and-” Faren was cut off, and a sudden crack rang through the air.

      Baron opened his eyes, and stared with surprised shock as Ken stood behind Faren, his bare arms wrapped around the Fire Wielder’s neck. As Faren’s body went limp in the bodyguard’s arms, all the flames that Faren had unleashed were suddenly snuffed out, leaving behind only charred material and twisting black smoke.

      “I told you, Baron, that if you tried to harm Jenna or her family that I’d snap your neck. The same applies to Faren,” Ken chillingly growled.

      Baron stared at Ken in shock. Faren was dead, Ken covered in burns from coming through the flames, and Jenna was safe, hopefully her family and servants too.

      Tears clouded Baron’s vision, and he wept as the reality of Faren’s death set in. His friend, his brother, and his enemy was now dead. “I wish it didn’t end like this,” Baron sobbed.

      Faren had died an evil man, but still Baron couldn’t forget the child with bright eyes. Many days, many weeks, many months, Baron had lived in fear of Faren, but now, now he was free from that fear. And he wished it was not so. He wished that Faren had never come, he wished that Faren had remained by Father. He wished that Faren had found something other than death. But now it was too late. Faren was gone. And so was all hope of a happily ever after for him.

      Ken sat beside Baron on the ground, trying to give the man some comfort as he wept, even though he didn’t understand how Baron could have grief.

      The last inklings of the smoke from Faren’s fire dispersed into the blue sky, as if it was Faren’s soul leaving the mortal world.

      “You alright?” Ken asked as Baron gained control of his emotions.

      “I’m afraid I used too much of my Wind Charming,” He spit out more blood onto the ground.

      For a second, Ken almost looked scared. He glanced around frantically as he realized someone was missing. “Where’s Jenna?! She was with you!”

      “Relax. She’s with Andy, safe. What about her family, and the servants, did everyone make it out okay?”

      Ken nodded. “Mary’s dress caught on fire, but she’s mostly okay. A few others have minor burns, but no one is seriously hurt. Dr. Handel and Mrs. Handel are unscathed.”

      Baron let out a faint smile. “Good.”

      The rubble of horse’s hooves came near, along with shouts from people Baron didn’t recognize. “The authorities and firefighters are finally here,” Ken commented.

      “Make sure they give Faren a proper burial, okay?” Baron mumbled, before the world about him switched to black.

       

       

      What do you think?

      "YOU NEED MORE FRIENDS! Ignore me, just talking to LEGOs" -Me
      #AnduthForever (hopefully💕)

      #198378
      Ellette Giselle
      @ellette-giselle
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 3473

        @rae

        Nice!!! I like it! Very good scene! You had me pretty tensed up! XD

        Yes, this really was a good scene.

        I bet he’s gonna die in the end.

         

        One small problem I had….. the father is encouraging Baron and Jenna’s relationship, but Baron is not a Believer, and God commands that we no be unequally yoked. I would think that if her father was wise and also a believer, he would make it clear to Baron that he needs to decide where he stands before they talk about Jenna.

        Just a thought.

         

        But yeah, this was AMAZING!!! I can’t wait to see what happens!! I would love to see this published someday!

         

         

        No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.

        #198403
        The Ducktator
        @theducktator
          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
          • Total Posts: 1387

          @rae

          That was so good!!! I’m so worried about Baron now. 😢 He can’t die; I like him too much!

          Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it hard enough.

          #198419
          Ruth
          @rae
            • Rank: Chosen One
            • Total Posts: 4176

            @theducktator @ellette-giselle

            I bet he’s gonna die in the end.

             

            He can’t die; I like him too much!

            Oh dear…well, two more stories left and then you’ll know. Don’t worry, Baron will be happy with the ending.

             

             I would love to see this published someday!

            Hopefully sometime in Spring I will submit it to a publisher. Fingers crossed though cuz it will probably be denied by the first like who-knows-how-many publishers and the time in which I start submitting it all depends on when I can go through and fix it up a little cuz this first draft stuff is rough in places, as you’ve noticed.

            But yeah, if all goes well, it’ll be published 🙂

             

            "YOU NEED MORE FRIENDS! Ignore me, just talking to LEGOs" -Me
            #AnduthForever (hopefully💕)

            #198805
            hybridlore
            @hybridlore
              • Rank: Chosen One
              • Total Posts: 2214

              @rae

              Great section!! 💕

              "Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C. S.

              #198954
              Ruth
              @rae
                • Rank: Chosen One
                • Total Posts: 4176

                30k words in The Baron Chronicles!!!!!!!

                "YOU NEED MORE FRIENDS! Ignore me, just talking to LEGOs" -Me
                #AnduthForever (hopefully💕)

                #199381
                Ruth
                @rae
                  • Rank: Chosen One
                  • Total Posts: 4176

                  @raxforge @ellette-giselle @hybridlore @keilah-h @whalekeeper @theducktator

                  It feels like forever since I posted a story on here, but here is story #11! This is my favorite one of the entire Baron Chronicles, and it brought tears to my eyes. I hope you enjoy it too:)

                   

                  Though your sins be as Scarlet…

                  Sunlight filtered through the pale curtains, resting on Baron’s face. His eyes cracked open as the light woke him. He groaned and quickly clamped his eyes shut at the sudden flood of light into his sleepy pupils.

                  He lay still, remembering his injuries from his fight with Faren, not wishing to reawaken the discomfort that he had when he awakened last time. He had been startled then, waking up to an unfamiliar room but still seeing the charred grounds outside the Handel mansion through his window. Jenna had explained that only part of the mansion had been damaged by fire, and Baron was in a room that was almost never used before until then. It made sense. Even at Father’s mansion with the many rooms dedicated to the Bloodsilver’s operations of various sorts, he still had manifold unused rooms that Faren would explore, Baron occasionally tagging along on the quest through the cobwebs. Though he hated getting the spider silk in his snowy hair.

                  Baron heard the door creak open, and the swish of a skirt as the curtains were closed. Baron opened his eyes once the blinding light was blocked.

                  “Feeling better?” Jenna’s voice asked.

                  Baron nodded slowly.

                  “Good. I’ll let Dad know. I’ll be back in to give you something to eat soon,” Jenna turned to leave the room, but Baron stopped her with his voice.

                  “Is it possible you could fetch the Word of God I had been reading?”

                  “Of course. I’ll be back with that,” Jenna replied with a smile.

                  Baron smiled back. “Thank you.”

                  Before Jenna close the door, she suddenly exclaimed. “Oh! Ken was wondering if you were up to him visiting.”

                  “Yeah, sure. I’d like to talk him.”

                  Jenna nodded and left the room. She soon returned with the Bible, and later brought Baron in some food. After he had eaten, some of the servants brought in an upholstered chair, and Ken soon followed, sitting in the comfortable chair. A few strips of white peeked out from under his clothes, his injuries were still healing.

                  “How are you?” He asked, adjusting his position in the chair a bit.

                  “Fine. I’m slightly annoyed that after my sickness, so soon I’m stuck in bed again, but it isn’t the worst thing in the world. How are the burns?”

                  “They are healing well. Jenna insists I rest, but I get bored.” Ken’s eyes caught sight of the Book next to Baron’s hand. “What part are you reading?”

                  “I was reading that section with all the songs…they call them psalms,” He recalled.

                  “I’m glad to see you reading it, but have you changed your point of view? Do you still believe that you are beyond redemption?”

                  “Yes.”

                  “Hand me.” Ken reached out his hand, and Baron handed him the Word. Ken flipped through the pages, looking for something. “’And you hath He quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins; wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others. But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith He loved us,(1) even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) and hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: that in the ages to come He might shew the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.’ All were once dead in their sin, in the things they did to break God’s law, but He is rich in mercy. God still forgave them, still saved them.”

                  As Baron thought over what Ken said in silence, Ken flipped through the Book again.

                  “’If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.’ I wouldn’t say that you have a problem with deceiving yourself by saying that you are without sin. But you are still deceiving yourself, telling yourself that there can be no hope, no mercy for you. Think about the next sentence, ‘If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.’”

                  Ken flipped through the book a little more and left a bookmark in another passage but didn’t read it aloud.

                  Finally, Baron spoke. “The first portion you read was in a letter from an Apostle of Immanuel, to those who were already saved. ‘You hath He quickened’ refers to those already saved, those who are in others places referred to as those who were chosen by Him before the foundations of the world.”

                  Ken looked at Baron in surprise. He didn’t realize that Baron had read that much.

                  “Ken, what if I’m not one of those? What if the Silver Streak wasn’t chosen?”

                  “Then…you will never come to Him,” Ken admitted

                  “And what if that is how it is meant to be? What if I am never meant to ask for this forgiveness that I don’t even believe I can obtain? What if I am never meant to enter Heaven?”

                  “But you can’t know that, Baron. Those names are known to God and Him alone. You can’t just throw up your hands and say, ‘I wasn’t chosen’ just because you think you weren’t. You don’t know!”

                  Silence fell between the two men, until Ken broke it after a couple minutes. “My father taught me to have an unwavering trust in God and His plan since I was a little boy. While that trust has had its ups and downs, my thoughts today are that if you were meant to be saved, you will be. If you weren’t, you won’t be. I can only try to be God’s tool, to nudge you in a direction towards Him. He will decide if you go that direction or not.”

                  After this, they talked for a little longer on different subjects, bouncing between one and another, until eventually Jenna commanded that both of them rest.

                  Ken left, wishing that God would bless him, whichever direction Baron went.

                   

                   

                  The next few days, Baron mostly read and gained his strength. Before long, he was able to move about his room. He would spend many an afternoon sitting by the open window, listening to the birds sing as he read.

                  He had discovered the passage Ken had bookmarked, and read it with interest:

                  ‘I love the LORD, because He hath heard my voice and my supplications. Because He hath inclined His ear unto me, therefore will I call upon Him as long as I live. The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow. Then called I upon the name of the LORD; O LORD, I beseech Thee, deliver my soul. Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful. The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and He helped me. Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee. For Thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling. I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living. I believed, therefore have I spoken: I was greatly afflicted.’

                  The more Baron had read in His Word, the more he realized how merciful, how wonderful God was. So many people, that should have been condemned, were saved. People who were meant to die, were spared. And those who served God would call out to Him, asking for help, or wisdom. Then, they would always praise Him.

                  Yet there was still a part of Baron who resisted. Yes, he saw many stories of those who were meant to die being saved. He heard of His great mercy. He read the praises of those who followed and served Him. But there still remained a reluctance, there still remained doubt in Baron’s mind. He did not doubt that this God was wonderful, there was no way he could doubt that, but he still doubted that he, the assassin, could be saved.

                  “How do I even become saved? I know I read it somewhere.” He tried to remember where, but eventually shrugged, and decided upon asking Jenna later. He sighed, shutting the book upon his finger and staring out the window, feeling the sweet, cool air of spring caress his face. His heart longed to grasp the wind in his hand, to send it playing over the hills and in the budding trees, but he didn’t dare. He would wait to fulfill the longing of his heart, his nature as a Wind Charmer, for when he was better.

                  He sat for a while there in still silence until Jenna came and inquired upon how he felt. They talked a bit, before Baron finally pressed the question he meant to ask her.

                  “Jenna, how do you ask for God to forgive you?”

                  Jenna seemed excited at the question, and answered with energy, “You pray.”

                  “What do you say in such a prayer?”

                  “You thank God for Immanuel’s sacrifice and ask for His forgiveness. As it says, ‘If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.’ Are you, are you interested in praying for his forgiveness?” Jenna hoped for his answer to be yes with all her heart, and the seconds felt like hours waiting for his reply.

                  “No, I just wished to know, that’s all.”

                  Jenna deflated. “You still think that your sins are too great?”

                  “Yeah, pretty much.”

                  Jenna shook her head. “I will pray that one day you see the truth.”

                   

                  ‘Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth: for the Lord hath spoken, I have nourished and brought up children, and they have rebelled against Me.’

                  Another day, like any other, spent sitting in the chair by the window, a slight breeze playing in his snowy hair. Below, the budding flowers in the garden. Jenna and her mother had tirelessly worked to restore their garden, and their work was paying off. The scent of sweet pollen carried up to the window. Birds sung, flitting here and there from tree to tree. The Book, the Word of God, lay open on Baron’s lap as he read quickly through.

                  ‘…Ah sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, a seed of evildoers, children that are corrupters: they have forsaken the Lord, they have provoked the Holy One of Israel unto anger, they are gone away backward. Why should ye be stricken any more? ye will revolt more and more: the whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint. From the sole of the foot even unto the head there is no soundness in it; but wounds, and bruises, and putrifying sores: they have not been closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment.  Your country is desolate, your cities are burned with fire: your land, strangers devour it in your presence, and it is desolate, as overthrown by strangers….’

                  From in the fields, Baron could hear a faint neigh, and the pounding of horse hooves upon soft, spring ground. The flame of spring burned in the chests of those majestic, though stupid at times, as Baron could tell you, beasts. They went running up and down the fences, playing and frolicking, snorting and champing, nipping and neighing.

                  ‘…And when ye spread forth your hands, I will hide Mine eyes from you: yea, when ye make many prayers, I will not hear: your hands are full of blood.’

                  Though the birds sung, their sweet voices rising unto the heavens in glorious praise as they had done since the dawn of their creation; though the horses played, their hooves rhythmically pounding the ground in joyous gallop; though the flowers bobbed in the wind, their sweet scents, like blown kisses, traveling upon the breeze, inside Baron’s heart was darkness. He felt a weight bearing upon him, and his mind thought over now unpleasant memories. ‘I will hide Mine eyes from you: yea, when ye make many prayers, I will not hear: Your hands are full of blood.’ What hope was there for Baron’s salvation? His hands were indeed full of blood. What hope was there?

                  Baron’s sad and troubled face, reflecting his heart, lifted to stare at the swift forms of the horses upon the green fields. His heavy heart grew heavier, and with whispered breath, he spoke, “There is no hope for me.”

                  He looked back at the creamy white page, slowly closing the Book. What even was the point of reading anymore if he was destined to hell for sure?

                  But before the pages slipped and covered the passage he was reading, his eyes caught the sentences after the previous one he had read, and his heart lept in his chest.

                  ‘Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil; learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow. Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.’

                  Baron stared at the page, his heart lightening, hope’s ember flickering again.

                  “’Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow. Though they be like crimson, they shall be as wool.’”

                  And suddenly, hope lit into a burning flame.

                  Yes, yes his hands were red with blood. Yes, yes he had turned his back on God and had served evil, but God gave hope. He gave a chance to repent!

                  ‘…Your hands are full of blood….’ He looked at his hands. The hands that had taken so many lives. ‘Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.’ The blood would be washed away. Those lives he had taken would be gone forever from mortal world, but the blood, the red stain, before God, would be gone. He would be white, the stain wiped from his hands.

                  Reverently, Baron closed the Book on his lap, folding his hands on top of it and closing his eyes. He could feel his heart within him, its pace quickening. Now was the time of salvation. “Dear God in heaven…”

                   

                  (1) Emphasis added.

                   

                   

                   

                  2 questions:

                  Does this story feel preachy?

                  Did Baron’s redemption feel legit?

                  • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 5 days ago by Ruth. Reason: Formatting issues

                  "YOU NEED MORE FRIENDS! Ignore me, just talking to LEGOs" -Me
                  #AnduthForever (hopefully💕)

                  #199384
                  Ellette Giselle
                  @ellette-giselle
                    • Rank: Chosen One
                    • Total Posts: 3473

                    @rae

                    YAY!!!!!

                    Oh man!! That really got to me!!!

                    I am someone who loves large chunks of scripture in stories, but if it feels too long maybe break it up a little and have shorter passages with some “…” filling the sections that don’t directly pertain to the story.

                     

                    YES! It felt very legit!

                    One of my favorite!!

                    No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.

                    #199392
                    The Ducktator
                    @theducktator
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1387

                      @rae

                      Hallelujah! Baron is saved! 🥹😃🥳 It’s so beautiful!

                      Does this story feel preachy?

                      Did Baron’s redemption feel legit?

                      It felt legit and not at all preachy!

                      Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it hard enough.

                      #200488
                      Ruth
                      @rae
                        • Rank: Chosen One
                        • Total Posts: 4176

                        @ellette-giselle @hybridlore @theducktator @keilah-h

                        The Final Story.

                        Please note that I might drastically change this one later since I’m not 100% happy with it, but I’ve been changing and playing with this story for so long now that I feel like I need to post it, gather your thoughts (tips for how to make the story better and criticism very much welcome and appreciated) and return to it as I go through and refine The Baron Chronicles.

                        I will probably post the final product if there’s drastic changes here.

                        With that said, here is the final installment of The Baron Chronicles

                         

                        Farewell

                        A breeze swept over the countryside, traveling over hill and through the meadow, before stopping to tangle a young woman’s hair at the command of the man who lay in the grass beside her.

                        “Baron! Why?” She whined, trying to straighten her long hair out again.

                        The man who had commanded the breeze chuckled. “Because you always react and it’s funny.”

                        The woman grew a bush of burs in her hand, throwing a handful of the sticky balls at Baron. “Never mess with an Earth Seedling!”

                        Baron sat up quickly, brushing the burs out of his face, and trying to keep them from getting stuck in his snowy hair. He laughed. “I deserved that. Are you happy now?”

                        “No, my hair is still a mess!”

                        Baron turned to her, reaching out a hand to gently brush away the wisps of hairs from her face. “It’s not all that bad, is it?”

                        Their eyes met, Baron’s filled with tender love, the woman’s with slight annoyance that soon faded away. She laughed. She had a beautiful laugh. “Why do you love to annoy me so?”

                        Baron smiled with a shrug. “I don’t know. It’s just always amusing to me how you react.”

                        The woman shook her head. “Guys make no sense.”

                        “Oh, I beg to differ, Jenny. Girls make as much sense as a horse being called a dragon. Guys always make perfect sense.”

                        “To you!” She retorted with spirit.

                        They laughed together.

                        Baron let out a sigh, lying down in the grass again. Jenny remained sitting next to him, leaning against the trunk of a huge tree. The breezes continued to play in the meadow grasses as they bowed and the flowers bobbed their pretty heads. All was peaceful in Jenny’s world. But a small shadow was cast in Baron’s.

                        Jenny ran her fingers gently through the top of Baron’s hair, pulling out the burs that Baron had missed.

                        They sat together silently for a time; Jenna absorbed in her work and Baron with a heavy weight on his heart. He felt like he was being called, but he knew Jenna would have her heart broken. He had ignored the tug of his heart, wishing not to separate himself from Jenna and all those he now saw as family, but as each day ended and another started, the tug grew stronger. Now, he felt that he must speak. “Jenny, would you be mad at me if I went back to Albandra?”

                        Jenny’s fingers stalled. “Why would you go back? You know you’d probably be killed.”

                        “I know, but don’t those families of the ones I killed deserve justice? Isn’t death what I deserve?”

                        “I thought we were over this ‘I deserve to die’. Maybe it is the justice that those families wish for, but God has forgiven you, and I…I don’t think I could let you go.” Jenny sounded on the verge of tears. “Are you really considering dying?”

                        Baron looked up at her, slowly a smile came. “It was merely a thought. You’re right, God has forgiven me.”

                        Jenny smiled back, wiping her tears and beginning to comb the burs out of his hair again.

                        Baron felt the wind passing through the meadow, causing the flowers to bob their pretty heads. “What do you think about asking Mary to make a picnic, and we come back to this spot tomorrow? The flowers are in full bloom.”

                        Jenny cast her eyes over the meadow. “That’d be wonderful.”

                        Baron’s smile turned genuine. He directed Jenny’s thoughts to things not related to his question, but when evening came, the heaviness of his heart grew.

                        He was walking with Andy out into one of the wide fields on the Handel property to fetch a couple of the horses when he revealed the thoughts inside his mind to his friend. “I asked Jenny if she would be mad if I went back to Albandra to face judgment from the authorities. She almost cried, so I quickly changed subject, but I feel it is the right thing to do, Andy. Jenny reminded me that God had forgiven me, but still, that doesn’t erase what I did. Those families deserve justice, and this is the only way I can think of to give it to them. But if I go, I’d break Jenny’s heart. What should I do?”

                        Andy was silent for a second, swinging a halter in his hand as he walked. “As your friend, I don’t want you to die. But also as your friend, I want you to do what is right. I’m not sure exactly what is right in this instance. Does God’s forgiveness mean you don’t have to be executed, or does the punishment still stand? But if I was the family of one of your victims, I would want you dead. And if you gave yourself up, that might even change the way I view you. I’d say talk to God and listen to your heart. Where is your heart telling you to go?”

                        “To death,” Baron replied. “My heart is telling me to face man’s judgment, and then God’s final one.”

                        “Then think about it, pray about it, talk about it, and decide. Maybe give yourself a month.”

                        “But I have prayed about it. I think this is what God wants me to do. I don’t hesitate because of fear, or even because I’m unsure about whether I should face execution or not, I just worry about breaking Jenny’s heart. If I tell her that I am going to go and die for sure, she…I don’t even want to think how she’d react.”

                        Andy was silent again for a couple minutes. The halter no longer swung in his hand. “Wait a month. If your heart still tells you to go, then go. I don’t know what to do about Jenny, sorry.”

                        “Don’t apologize, it felt good to talk things out with you. Thank you.”

                        Andy gave him a small smile. “You still beat yourself up over all those deaths, don’t you?”

                        Baron looked at the ground and nodded. “I know God has forgiven me, and I know that Immanuel has made my crimson stains white, but I still remember the faces, the expressions they had before they died. I still remember the blood, and the cries as they perished. I still haven’t forgiven myself, and I don’t think I will.”

                        Andy rested a hand on Baron’s shoulder, halting. “Just know that I don’t hold Granny’s death over you. I wish I could say the same for all the other families of your victims.”

                        “Thanks,” Baron mumbled.

                         

                         

                        Fingers danced across ivory keys. Ink streaked in short lines across a page. Words of conversation drifted through the air.

                        This evening was like many others, with Jenna at the piano, and Baron working on a drawing while conversing with Mr. and Mrs. Handel and Ken. But unlike many evenings, Baron was more quiet, seemingly absorbed in his work. Ken cast him occasional looks, but didn’t say anything.

                        Finally Baron set down his pen, taking his drawing, and announcing that he was turning in. Jenna halted playing to say goodnight, hugging Baron tightly, and the Handel’s wished him a good night. Baron thanked them and was heading up to his room, when Ken got up from his seat and followed him. In the hallway outside of Baron’s room, Ken halted him.

                        “What is bothering you?”

                        “Nothing, Ken. I’m just…weighed down by thoughts.”

                        Ken looked into Baron’s tired green eyes. “What’s wrong?”

                        Baron opened his door, holding it open for Ken to come in, and closing it gently behind him. Baron then set aside his drawing by his bed, sitting on the edge and flopping backwards onto the coverlet with a sigh. Ken sat in the chair by the window.

                        “You know, whenever I used to want to talk about something, I’d go find Faren, or Father. I used to curl up in the chair in my Father’s room, and trace the embroidery with a finger, before sketching it when I got back to my room.”

                        Ken looked over at Baron, a bit of concern in his eyes. “Are you still upset over Faren’s death?”

                        “No, not really. My mind has just been on my past lately.” Baron sighed, and then began telling him about Andy’s and his conversation from earlier. Ken listened in silence, watching Baron. When Baron was finished, Ken finally spoke.

                        “I think you’re right to face justice, but you’re right to think that Jenna will be heart broken. If you tell her, you will probably loose your resolve, after seeing how the news will affect her. I’d suggest following Andy’s advice and waiting a month. Spend that time leaving behind the best memories for her to remember you by, and then leave. Don’t tell her, just disappear. Leave a letter of explanation though.”

                        “But won’t just suddenly leaving break her even more than if I told her and she could expect it?”

                        “If you’re going to do this, I think this might be the best way.”

                        Baron was silent for a moment, before slowly nodding.

                        Ken rose from his seat. “I’ll leave you now. Have a good night, Baron.” As the door shut behind Ken, he whispered to himself, “Please forgive me Miss Jenna, for allowing him to break your heart.”

                         

                         

                        Baron took Ken’s advice. The next month was the best of Baron’s life. He treasured Jenna’s laugh, storing it deep inside his heart. He did his best to make her happy, with all the horseback rides and picnics, the drawings, and the piano-playing showered with attention and compliments.

                        While Jenny was joyful, Baron had a black shadow inside his mind, grower bigger and darker as each day passed that he tried to hide. He kept his smile sweet and happy for Jenny, but some days it was partially fake. His heart grew heavy, knowing that soon he would march to his own death, leaving Jenny behind. Sometimes he would feel his resolve slipping, but soon he would harden it again, though it hurt to do so, seeing how happy Jenny was. He would lay awake some nights, tears slipping down his face, regretting his decision to die, for Jenny’s sake, but knowing that it was right in his heart. Maybe he could live a life with Jenny, but he knew that one day the past would return, and this time, he doubted that Jenny and her family would escape it.

                        Besides, what about the families of those who he murdered? They deserved justice.

                        The last month slipped so quickly through his fingers, and one day he said good night to Jenny for the last time. The last thing he ever told her was a tender “I love you.”

                        He stayed awake in his room, waiting until just before midnight. Then he dressed himself in travel clothes, and his worn leather jacket. He left his old blue scarf folded on his bed with a few letters of farewell and a final piece of art for Jenny.

                        He grabbed his previously packed items, slowly closing his bed room door behind him as he left. He was silent as he crept down the dark hallways of the Handel mansion. He met Ken before he came to the door, and they had a final conversation together.

                        What words were said between the two men in this moment I will never reveal, for the topics were tender and near to each man’s heart and to reveal such things without their consent would be a crime.

                        Afterwards, they went outside, where Andy stood, holding Lucky’s reins. Baron said his final good byes to the two, and Ken gave him a large hug, both uncharacteristic for Ken and suffocating to Baron.

                        With that, Baron mounted Lucky and rode slowly away, letting a few tears fall as he left his life and love behind.

                        Six months later, the news reached them. The Silver Streak was dead.

                        • This reply was modified 1 week ago by Ruth. Reason: tag

                        "YOU NEED MORE FRIENDS! Ignore me, just talking to LEGOs" -Me
                        #AnduthForever (hopefully💕)

                        #200497
                        Ellette Giselle
                        @ellette-giselle
                          • Rank: Chosen One
                          • Total Posts: 3473

                          @rae

                           

                          I saw that coming….. sort of.

                          I didn’t think he’d go back. I thought he would be killed in a fight.

                          I’m not sure what to think of that. Hmm.I like it, but almost feel doubtful for liking it.

                           

                          The opening scene with Jenna and Baron may need a little work. It was very intimate and immediately led me to think that they were married. Just the way that they were acting…. it seemed inappropriate if they weren’t. So, if they aren’t married, I would suggest fixing a few things there.

                           

                          Yeah, like i said, I’m still not sure if Baron’s choice was the right one. It’s hard to tell. It is a very interesting question you provoked. It gives the story a slightly bittersweet ending, and it feels like a good completion of his arc. I think I quite like it, honestly!

                           

                          No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.

                          #200499
                          Ellette Giselle
                          @ellette-giselle
                            • Rank: Chosen One
                            • Total Posts: 3473

                            @rae

                            That ending won’t leave me alone!!!! Now that I’ve had time to really think about it….. man, it’s good. A delayed hit, but a hard one when it gets ya! 🤣

                            No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.

                            #200552
                            Ruth
                            @rae
                              • Rank: Chosen One
                              • Total Posts: 4176

                              @ellette-giselle

                              I was slightly sad that I didn’t make much effect (though what was I expecting when the writing for this final story was sub-par). i was hoping that the story would hit even if the writing didn’t, but I’m quite content after reading your last comment.

                              I will rewrite this story later, and then I hope it hits harder.

                              For now, I’m dwelling on fiddling with past stories because honestly I’m sad that i won’t get to write another story about Baron😭

                              "YOU NEED MORE FRIENDS! Ignore me, just talking to LEGOs" -Me
                              #AnduthForever (hopefully💕)

                              #200570
                              Ellette Giselle
                              @ellette-giselle
                                • Rank: Chosen One
                                • Total Posts: 3473

                                @rae

                                I like it! I think the part in the field is the only thing I would fix honestly. But that’s your choice.

                                Like I said, it’s a delayed hit.

                                I’ll probably cry tonight. 😂

                                No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.

                                #200577
                                The Ducktator
                                @theducktator
                                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                  • Total Posts: 1387

                                  @rae

                                  Now I’m depressed. 😭 I think Baron made the right decision though. But whyyyyy.

                                  Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it hard enough.

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