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Okay. I’m stuck. But I guess that is obvious as I’m here. I need a song. It doesn’t have to be long, but I feel that I should add at least a verse or two. Or rather I need a poem. As it will be in a story with no music. It needs to runs along the theme “I love you, do you love me?” It is a song that appears in my story “The Golden Conch”.
I have added the section where I would add the song. If you feel it doesn’t need it, let me know. 🙂
“Shall I play for you?”
“Yes, please do.”
Mango lift the instrument and softly played ‘I love you, do you love me?’ Claudia sang along.
When the song finished the door opened again.
“I was wondering what the lyrics to that song was,” said Max. “Now I know.
There you have it folks. What do you think?
Oh, so if you think it does need a poem, can you please help me write one??? Let me tag a few people so they see this.
@daeus , @hannah-c , @hope , @aella , @anna-brie , @kate-flournoy , @faithdk , @gretald , @rolena-hatfield , @writefury , @spradlin , @sarah-h , @winter-rose , @anyone-else-who-cares-to-helpI’m not…I’m awful at songs and poems. Well, maybe not awful, but I have a hard time thinking things up. If I get any ideas I’ll tell you, but I’m afraid I might not be much help at this.
INTJ - Inhumane. No-feelings. Terrible. Judgment and doom on everyone.
@Bluejay I don’t necessarily think you need to include the song itself, but a description of the music would be nice. Just it’s tone— melancholy, cheerful, stirring? What’s it sound like? And what quality is the sound? Clear? Deep? Vibrant? Shrill? Tinkling? Whispering? You might also describe character reactions to it— leaning back and shutting their eyes, smiling at each other, taking deep breaths and smiling peacefully. Just let us know what’s happening while the music’s going on, and we’ll form a very good picture, and a picture is worth a thousand words. 😉
I agree with @kate-flournoy. But if you do want lyrics then here is some.
If you were lost across the sea
I’d sail a boat in search of thee
Or if you were tossed amongst the waves
I’d give my life for thee to save
And give my freedom for thee to free
For I love you, do you love me?Not sure that helps but maybe you can get an idea for something else form it.
HC
Ah @kate-flournoy. Yes, I see your point.
@hannah-c Wow! I love it. Especially since they are in the sea. 🙂 That’s great. Thank so much.
@hope, that’s okay. 😉@Bluejay my pleasure, I had a lot of fun coming up with it. 😀
HC
Kate’s right, but that doesn’t mean you can’t fit in the lyrics too.
I don’t really *cough cough* write love poems, but *waves magic wand* we shall see.
Parched in the desert
Lost in the sea
I can be wasting
But full in theeThere is a fountain
That gives men youth
Make me much younger
And speak the truthI give you my love
Through whatever
Return it, it will
Grow foreverDoes that help at all @bluejay? By the way, I love how Mango sounds as a name. I didn’t know it would just radiate like that.
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@daeus Yes, I have grown to love the character Mango. Of course his full name is Mangomeous the third of Sataniam. 🙂 I think I like Hannah’s poem a bit better, but yours is great too. So I will definitely keep it in mind. Thank you.
Yeah, love poems are really hard to write. Good job though. 🙂
Hopefully the story will work out and then you’ll be able to read it.I’m not that great with writing poems or songs either, so I’ll leave this to the people who can. 😉 Haha. Sorry though. :/
Heh heh! Mangomeous the third. That’s great. Why Sataniam though? He isn’t a fiend, is he?
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@bluejay Since Max mentions the lyrics, I think you defiantly need some. I don’t have any song lyrics to give right now (I’m not really a poet?), but it looks like some other people have already given some great suggestions ?.@faithdk No problem. I just tagged random tags.
@daeus I’m not sure that I’m sticking with Sataniam. It is a neighboring city, which Mango comes from. If you can think of a better name that suits Atlantis I would appreciate it. If you could think of two names that would be even better. 🙂 (I have two cities and the other is called Hetlem. I’m not very good with making up names)@winter-rose That is what I felt. @hannah-c gave some really nice lyrics so I think I will go with them.
@Bluejay Aquarius. Oceanus. Marinius. Aquaticus. Those any help?
I love both poems, @Daeus and @Hannah-C! I’ve never tried to write a love poem either. *coughcough* I can imagine it would be a bit tricky. 😛
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