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I loved where Analyce said, “why doesn’t he just kiss her already?” XD That was awesome and I was with her on that 100% XD And where Kaunon said, “oh no! Quite nice is it?” And for some reason, the part where Ayerna noticed he looked twenty instead of nearly seventeen. Okay, this is not very helpful, I know, I know. I just had to tell you some of what my favorite parts were. Alright, down to business, is there anything specific you’d like me to critique? The only things I saw were uses of verbs and adverbs that could be edited, (I’m not feeling very helpful here). But as an overall scene, it kept me hooked, (it definitely made me grin), and I really enjoyed reading it! 😀
@abigail-m I think the forum ate your response lol thanks so much for the feedback! Those three things you pointed out are actually my favorite parts! Thanks for the response! 🙂 I’m glad the funniness shows through
I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title
@abigail-m never mind it didn’t eat it lol my phone is just being ornery again. Ugh 😆
I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title
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