Rapunzel retelling!!

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  • #152476
    ryry
    @magicalstories0611
      • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
      • Total Posts: 24

      @lightoverdarkness6   @smiley @princesachronicle22   @mineralizedwritings   @esther-c  @euodia-vision   @freedomwriter76   @thearcaneaxiom

      And whomever else wants to read my idea!!

      Ok guys, so I had an idea for a retelling of Rapunzel.

      It takes place in a Middle-Eastern-like Kingdom, where everyone has black hair. The king and queen have had much difficulty having a child, so the queen asks her sister, the royal advisor and sorceress, what they should do. The sister tells the queen to eat a bunch of this magical golden plant and soon enough, the queen is able to conceive.

      A beautiful daughter is born, but she has golden hair. Like not blond or yellowish or whatever, it literally looks like her hair is gold jewelry. The king and queen are delighted their daughter seems so regal even at birth, but the advisor/sorceress tells them that they should dye her hair black because enemy lands can easily spot who the princess is or whatever.

      When the princess is 3, there’s an attack on the castle and the king and queen are killed. The advisor/sorceress and the princess make it out alive and find an abandoned cottage in the forest, where the advisor/sorceress (AS) raises the princess as her own daughter because AS is actually related to the princess.

      Skip forward many years; now the princess (who is technically a commoner) is 18.

      A runaway prince who has become a thief for pure fun comes across the forest while being chased by guards and finds the princess (who thinks she’s a normal commoner with a different name and backstory and stuff). He doesn’t know who she is, but she lets him stay for a bit. Then the guards burn down the cottage. DON’T WORRY!! They make it out alive, but now the princess is a wanted fugitive, and she blames all of her current problems on the guy because technically he IS the root of them all.

      So she hates him, but that makes him slightly attracted to her, along with the fact that something seems off, her backstory sounds sus, and that she dyes her hair black.

      Sounds good right?! With an enemies to lovers (hehehe), lies, *banter*, romantic tension, and magical fantasyness!!!

      Tell me what you think!

      "After all these years, who knew we'd make such a good t-e-a-m?"

      #152477
      ryry
      @magicalstories0611
        • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
        • Total Posts: 24

        Ok, update:

        The queen is gonna be from the Khidian Empire, which is kinda like ancient China. Hey name is going to be Xiajie.

        The king’s name is going to be Horik and he is from and rules the Athiccerian Empire.

        The princess’s name will be Sunandha Feiyan Khamti of Athicceria, but her aunt “renamed” her Suna.

        The aunt’s name will be Jingshou cause she’s cool but she changes her name to Xiang’e.

        The prince will be Theon Andreas Teres of Beles from the Belesoan Empire, which is kind of, like, Central-American-inspired.

        I’m so excited 😆😆

        "After all these years, who knew we'd make such a good t-e-a-m?"

        #152480
        Loopy
        @loopylin
          • Rank: Chosen One
          • Total Posts: 2536

          @magicalstories0611 Ooo I really like this idea! Especially the enemies to lovers and the cool historical asian setting. I would be so excited to read this. Are you planning on incorporating Rapunzel’s iconic long hair somehow?

          Also, hello! 👋🏼 I don’t think we’ve ever talked. I’m Loopy

          🎵It takes a long time to wait 🌻

          #152482
          ryry
          @magicalstories0611
            • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
            • Total Posts: 24

            Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! It’s so nice to meet you!

            I’m Magicalstories, MS, or Ryan, a 14-year-old girl from Alabama with a love for Christ, fictional boys (but you didn’t hear that from me), and witches for some reason. I write fantasy and like bananas. I’m a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I love Percy Jackson and Six of Crows.

            Yes, absolutely!! I’m planning on Suna having, like, knee-length hair that she keeps in a loose French braid or something.

            Lots of love 🤟🏻🤟🏻,

            Ryry

            "After all these years, who knew we'd make such a good t-e-a-m?"

            #152488
            Esther
            @esther-c
              • Rank: Chosen One
              • Total Posts: 3572

              @magicalstories0611

              Oh my word I love this idea already!!

              • This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by Esther.

              Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende

              #152490
              PrincesaChronicle22
              @princesachronicle22
                • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                • Total Posts: 807

                @magicalstories0611

                GIIIRLLL!!! I love that idea!! Repunzal is such a fun one, and I think this would be an interesting and fun version!!

                I would totally read that. And I love the names too!! 🤩🤩🤩

                And of course I adooore the love story premise 😏. I feel like I would TOTALLY fall for Theon ❤️. And Suna seems like she’d be a great main character!

                Let me know if you end up writing any of it, and how it goes!!

                Love is patient. Love is kind. Love never fails. -1 Corinthians
                And guess what? His is eternal (:

                #152491
                TheArcaneAxiom
                @thearcaneaxiom
                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                  • Total Posts: 1306

                  @magicalstories0611

                  Fun idea! Personally though, I would ask if it needs to be a Rapunzel retelling. It is obvious that it isn’t a retelling of the classical Rapunzel story, but specifically the film Tangled, because it’s missing pretty much all the original details that really defined the story of Rapunzel. It is clear where your deriving a lot of these ideas, but you stray enough from the original story that I ask why not make it your own original story. Let yourself be inspired, but I think a lot of these ideas can hold on their own, because the plot is basically all your own idea with the exception of her having the golden hair. That’s how I feel about these sort of things, but that’s coming from someone who has probably an irrational prejudice against fan-fictions, so take my thoughts with a grain of salt.

                  He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

                  #152492
                  hybridlore
                  @hybridlore
                    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                    • Total Posts: 1689

                    @magicalstories0611

                    This sounds really cool!! I like your signature, by the way!

                    • This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by hybridlore. Reason: Tag

                    Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis

                    #152505
                    Anonymous
                      • Rank: Chosen One
                      • Total Posts: 8156

                      @magicalstories0611 I think it’s a really cool idea!!! 💖

                      #152511
                      Euodia
                      @euodia-vision
                        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                        • Total Posts: 1308

                        @magicalstories0611

                        OOOOOOH! I really like this idea! I love Tangled. 😂

                        I rolled the log over and underneath was a tiny little stick and I was like, "That log had a child

                        #152527
                        Smiley
                        @smiley
                          • Rank: Chosen One
                          • Total Posts: 2210

                          @magicalstories0611

                          Sounds cool! I’d love to read it someday

                          Do me a favor…. Tell Cress I meant it
                          -Thorne

                          #152551
                          Light
                          @lightoverdarkness6
                            • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                            • Total Posts: 1647

                            @magicalstories0611

                            Girlieee I LOVE this so much alreadyyyy!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩

                            AaaAAaaaA an enemies to lovers?! 🤩🥰😆

                            And the characters…🥰❤️

                            I love Suna’s name!! I’m glad you shortened it tho…i’m so so bad at pronouncing long names 😭😆 Also it kinda reminded me of The Goose Girl 🙂

                            I would totally read this girl! I know you’ll do a great job 🙂 Keep me updated if you decide/when you start to write it!!! 🥰

                            #HugRikerSquad

                            #152615
                            ryry
                            @magicalstories0611
                              • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                              • Total Posts: 24

                              @thearcaneaxiom

                              Hello!! I won’t take your opinion as a grain of what because your opinion matters and I low-key need criticism 😅. Let me explain my idea a bit better. I’m trying to go for 1/3 original, 1/3 tangled, and 1/3 my personal idea.

                              In the original story, the guy who finds rapunzel is a prince; in tangled, he’s a thief; and so I wanted to combine those two ideas!!

                              I feel like I actually might change it so he’s just a prince that just wants to be a regular citizen, so he pretends he’s not a prince. Maybe the prospect of ruling an entire kingdom is too big a responsibility for him, or maybe he doesn’t want an arranged marriage. Either way, I wanted to have it that way because I feel like if he told Suna that he was a prince, then she wouldn’t be as mean to him as she is.

                              Keep in mind that I really haven’t read the original story and am currently doing research on it so that I can have a deeper understanding of the actual story.

                              I’m kind of in a process, so bear with me as I learn things and change parts of the story to fit better with the original. I see nothing truly wrong with my story idea, and I feel like, yes I could make my own original story, but it could be more fun to tie it to something many people already know!

                              I just read To Kill A Kingdom, which is a retelling of The Little Mermaid, the movie, not the original story, and it was quite different than the original storyline but while reading, you could still tell that it was a retelling. It was a really good book and if you haven’t read it already, I think you should!

                              I don’t really like fanfictions either, but I wouldn’t classify this as a fanfiction. Think of it more like taking an already existing story and tweaking a few things and putting your own spin on it! I think it will be quite fun and hope you will bear with me as I go through this journey.

                              -Ryry

                              "After all these years, who knew we'd make such a good t-e-a-m?"

                              #152666
                              Pixie
                              @pixie
                                • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                                • Total Posts: 23

                                Two cents over here, for your research:

                                We grew up with Paul O. Zelinsky’s illustrated Rapunzel, which you might be able to get from the library. Really lovely illustrations, with the straightforward old story.

                                And a Rapunzel retelling I just fell in love with (very different from your idea, which could be equally fun) is the Old West retelling by Shannon Hale– Rapunzel’s Revenge.

                                Have a blast! I love fairy tale retellings.

                                #152680
                                ryry
                                @magicalstories0611
                                  • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                                  • Total Posts: 24

                                  @pixie

                                  Oh my gosh thank you so much!!

                                  I’ll be sure to try and find it!

                                  Also Rapunzel’s Revenge sounds amazing!! Stuff about the Wild West is so interesting and that paired with the story of Rapunzel sounds so cool!! I’ll try and find it so I can read it!!

                                  Thank you for your help!!!

                                  -Ryry

                                  "After all these years, who knew we'd make such a good t-e-a-m?"

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