Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › General Writing Discussions › Portals: When My Story Ate Me
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October 9, 2024 at 11:15 pm #187216
I’m so glad y’all are enjoying this! Your encouragement helps us keep it up. So far it’s plotted out to last us well nigh New Year’s.
I do have bad tidings though. We are entering “IsitreallyfinallsweekalreadywhydidweenrollineightweekclassescanyoudieofessaysIthoughtIhadstudiedIdon’trememberanythinganymore.” A stressful, but brief period in our lives. Because of this, our KP presence will drop to nil, and most importantly…
There will be no story this week.
*cue lonely piano music*
However….
As I said, this will thankfully be a very brief bit followed by a little break. To make up for not even having a belated chapter this week, we will post TWO next week. The targets are Monday and Thursday.
So let us be off and doing! Go and do thou valiantly until we meet again.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
October 10, 2024 at 8:35 am #187235*sobbing*
I understand but…….. but the story was so wonderful…….. *collapses.*
I am now in a Jane Austen worthy moment of despair and shall not eat or drink until there is another chapter. I will most likely fade away with thoughts of my one true love, (I mean one true story) shimmering in my mind.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
October 12, 2024 at 1:48 pm #187459It is tragic. Let us take heart, however, for Monday’s chapter is nearly done.
*offers a handkerchief*
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
October 14, 2024 at 3:36 pm #187560@elishavet-pidyon @koshka ohh this is so awesome! I’m loving it so far.
Most of my characters are a too little unhinged for me to trust them showing up at my house lol
but maybe I’d manage to stop them from blowing something up before all was said and done
If only by threatening them with “I’m the author, I can erase you from existence as easy as putting a pencil to the paper” XD
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
October 14, 2024 at 9:44 pm #187578@koshka @ellette-giselle @hybridlore @keilah-h
And here’s Monday’s installment!
In Which Dwogin Will Not Be Outdone, and Aenwest Meets The Abyss (Nearly)
Chapter 4
It was amazing what three days of hard travel could do to a landscape . Gone were the deep woods full of mushrooms and squirrels. We had passed up into broken foothills where the mornings were foggy and the path was never level for more than ten feet at a time. A wonderful full body workout if you’re into that sort of thing. I am not, but I think I’ve made that clear by now.
Three days of hard travel will also render cheap leather boots to menaces never before met by humanity. I took the opportunity to experiment with some traveling advice I had read on an old blog. Not that two layers of sock helped with overheating, but by now that was the least of my worries.
Speaking of which, did I mention how broken these foothills were? Great rocks were tumbled down from the ridges above us in scattered heaps. It was breathtakingly beautiful in more ways than one. Even Dwogin was wheezing. Every now and then racks and chasms opened out of nowhere and meant a long trek off what Travenor called a path.
One of these chasms currently stretched across directly in our way. I was on the point of turning to the side, like usual, when Travenor made the most ridiculous suggestion I had ever heard.
“It will take us too far out of our way to pass. We must jump it.”
Dwogin sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Jump?”
For once, I found myself standing on the dwarf’s side of an argument. Sure, the gap wasn’t ginormous. I could probably make it if it was just a ball pit. However, this little gully was deep enough to swallow Loamhedge, Atlantis, and a moderate camp of Levites in one gulp.
“Look.” I crossed my arms. “I have no desire to meet the abyss, and I highly doubt any of you do either. I’ve never made you four try anything this reckless. It’s not fair. ”
“How could you make us do anything?” Dwogin said in the distinctest mumble I have ever heard. Not that I minded. I was entirely too preoccupied with saving my own life. Besides, with one long look over the edge he didn’t mind what I said as long as it supported his argument.
“And you expect Onnendel to make a jump he can’t see?” The dwarf growled. Onendel however, only shrugged and replied in a verbal smirk.
“I have crossed this place many times before. I do agree, nonetheless, that we should take caution on your behalf.”
“My behalf? I have crossed chasms twice as wide in the depths of our mountains.”
“Indeed! Then you have done what elves cannot, if lame.”
Dwogin began grumbling viciously.
“It is not as wide as it looks.” Travenor interjected. I would almost have thought he was tired of the banter. Almost. I had written 15k words in his POV and therefore could practically read his mind. Unfortunately, I couldn’t change it.
He sighed and stepped toward the drop off. “I will go first, then Onnendel, then Dwogin, Lady Aenwest, and last of all Randal. When you cross, move on past me so the way will be clear for the crossing after you.”
And with that, he leapt. A dreadful second later, he was crouched neatly on the other side. It looked so easy. Just jump, land on the other side, and don’t die. A whimper caught in my throat.
Travenor called back to us, stomping on the ground a foot from the edge. Onnendel stared after him for a moment before following lithely. You would not guess from watching that he was judging by sound alone. It was incredible.
“I won’t be outdone by an elf.” Dwogin huffed. His nose whistled when he did, and in my nervous state it was all I could do not to burst into giggles.
“Go along, Dwogin.” Randal nodded.
The dwarf grunted. He hitched his pack higher into his round shoulders and jammed his axe firmly into his belt. He took a couple steps back, then made a running leap for the other edge.
At some point I closed my eyes, so I never actually saw how he landed. But he did, and in perfectly good condition apparently.
Now they were all staring at me. I felt my face drain of color.
It wasn’t a wide gap. It really wasn’t. I took a deep breath to settle my nerves.
“Lady Aenwest, perhaps we should toss your pack over before you jump.”
It was good advice. Unfortunately, Randal spoke a split second too late.
Pro tip: don’t try this at home unless you really want to find the quickest way to pray through.
I jumped. For one soaring moment of adrenaline, there was nothing but wind and a lot of nothingness below me. My heart stopped. Then solid ground crunched beneath my feet.
And slipped out from under them.
There was no traction left on my shoes, but neither were the soles flexible enough to grip through. Gravelly earth spun out into the open air below fully intending to take me with it. I twisted to throw myself forward, only to feel my foot slide free of the path. My pack had overbalanced me. I screamed.
Someone’s rough hand caught my arm in a vice-like grip. Another hand joined it and they pulled me to safety.
Literal near death experience.
I stumbled away from the Edge of Doom on panicked feet that absolutely hated me. Travenor helped me over a washed out bit where I tripped, landing unceremoniously in the dirt. It was nice dirt, dark and soft. It sheltered my wounded soul.
“Aenwest!” Randal was bending over me. I blinked up at him through the haze rushing through my head.
“I just died.”
“Not quite, thankfully.”
“That’s not the point.” I used his arm to help myself into a sitting position. For a moment everything blurred. My backpack straps bit into my shoulders, so I shrugged the murderous thing off.
“Just give me a moment.”
They nodded and turned away to talk together. I squeezed my eyes shut. Funny colors danced behind my eyelids. It was like watching a puppet show with cataracts. I smiled.
Turns out, that psychology journal I read for book research was right. Emotions are like rubber bands. After experiencing the worst fright of my life, I had no better thing to do than start laughing hysterically. I tried to muffle it at first, but that was no use. It was better than yelling at everyone, which was certainly the response Dwogin anticipated. He watched me in stupefied silence. One look at his ridiculous expresion sent me into fresh hysterics. He gaped.
I finally gained some control of myself. The hyena laughter died to a single hiccup. I wiped the tears from my eyes.
It would take me much longer to regain my dignity.
“Ready to take the road again?”
“Yep.”
I slung my pack back on and scrambled to my feet. We started off up the slope, a more somber group than before. Onnendel hummed a little song to himself and sometimes Travenor joined in, but no one felt like talking much.
Actually, I was fine with talking. It was better than walking another step in my murder shoes, but I was determined not to be the whiny character that had to be coddled. Especially after losing all illusions of adequacy to that ditch. I pressed my lips shut and scuttled after Randal.
Maybe three layers of socks would do the trick.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
October 14, 2024 at 9:47 pm #187579Yay! So glad you like it!
Yeah, that would be a problem. As long as they believed you, pulling the author card might be the best defense.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
October 15, 2024 at 8:12 am #187595wait wait wait.
Hang on.
Onnendel is blind? He’s the elf, right? How did that happen?
Did I miss a chapter where he went blind?
Otherwise, man, my hands were sweating, I don’t mind telling you. It was a lovely chapter and I can’t WAIT for the next part!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
October 15, 2024 at 12:20 pm #187627Yes, he is blind. Don’t worry, you didn’t miss any dramatic scenes. 😉 If you read back, you can see we insinuated his blindness earlier. For instance, the conversation between Onnendel and Dwogin about the sunset.
It’s part of his backstory. We’ll explain the it more in a couple chapters. (Hint: Shadow Dread is an illness inspired by something in Tolkien’s legendarium. [And a friend’s WIP])
Yay! We’re excited about this next bit too. 👀
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
October 17, 2024 at 8:01 pm #187809@elivashet-pidyon @koshka
Awesome! I love how author-y the main character is, with the researching psychology for a book but not really experiencing it until later… so true.
I’m excited too!
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
October 17, 2024 at 8:02 pm #187810@elishavet-pidyon Oops
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
October 17, 2024 at 9:37 pm #187812I am loving this thing.
🎵For our blessed lady's sake, bring us in good ale!🎵
November 15, 2024 at 4:18 pm #189966@koshka @ellette-giselle @hybridlore @keilah-h @theducktator
Mae Govannen! Thank ya’ll for your feedback. And I will especially thank you for tactfully reminding me to post the extra that fateful Thursday.
As we all know, the extra was not posted.
Fear not, nevertheless! Although we have not posted chapters, we have been writing them. And seriously rearranging the plot, which has meant filling plot holes and scrapping what you would have gotten that Thursday Past. (Spoiler: Next chapter includes *catalyst*)
One day there shall be a chapter posted. One day soon, in fact.
This is not that day.
- This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by Elishavet Elroi. Reason: What do they teach them in these schools?
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
November 15, 2024 at 4:53 pm #189976I will post a character aesthetic, though. It has a bit of the backstory woven in, so I won’t be specific, but see if you can guess who it is! (I say like it’s not painfully obvious.) Whoever gets it right gets an imaginary plushie of this character OR his horse!
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
November 15, 2024 at 5:26 pm #189983I LOVE THE aesthetic!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
November 15, 2024 at 5:43 pm #189989😊 Maketh my heart gladeth. My efforts have come to good use.
Does it fit how you pictured him? The plushie is yet unclaimed.
- This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by Elishavet Elroi.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
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