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Oh, man. Okay.
Yeah! I mean, I’m excited about it. I feel like maybe I should have waited to pick a theme until I knew the characters better. That make sense? @kate-flournoy
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
Okay. Now I know for next time.
How’s things, Kate? All I do is ask you questions about my story. How are things goin with your WIPs and your life? 🙂 @kate-flournoy
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
@that_writer_girl_99, I like what you have so far. Honestly, to me, it sounds like a (long) short story or a novella/novelette. I can see what people are saying about cliches and things, and you have to be careful, but from what I’ve read, so far it seems pretty original. 🙂 I would add, you and @Jess have a habit of saying do not instead od didn’t etc. I understand it’s because of English teachers saying they’ll take points off, but, if a character isn’t lying or isn’t exactly refined, use contractions they flow better. Each split up contraction made my eyes stumble. And One more thing, are you going to do something special with the air element?
Oh, hi @cloudy! Thanks for the feedback!
The lack of contractions are something that I’m using to build Kara’s character. She is kinda refined, but that’s because…well, she has her reasons. It’s on purpose, I promise, but I’ll watch out for what you said.
About the length…I haven’t thought about the word count, or which kind of book this story will fall into. When the time comes and the plot has been fleshed out well enough, I’ll worry about it. For now, I just want to get it all done.
I haven’t really thought about using the air element. I don’t know if I’ll include it in this draft. Maybe.
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
@That_Writer_Girl_99 um, great I think! ;P I’m wading through the latter end of the climax in my WIP, and though there’s a lot of work still to be done I’m very happy with what I’ve accomplished, which is a lot coming from a perfectionist like me. 😉
And life is… life. Very rarely will you catch me having a bad time of it… probably because I’m not smart enough to worry when I probably should. XD
Not that I should at this point. I’m very busy but very happy.Yourself?
@that_writer_girl_99 I’ve been reading what you and @kate-flournoy have been discussing, and while I didn’t actually read the Google Docs, I think you have a cool story going on. Elemental powers are a bit cliche, but I like the idea of a prison, with the Warden actually trying to protect the prisoners.
I know this hasn’t really been what you have been focusing on, but I’ve always been interested in magic/powers, and would be happy to brainstorm with you to make elemental powers a bit less cliche. Brandon Sanderson’s Law of Magic are really helpful in this area.@princessfoo Yeah, elemental powers have been done a lot, but I’m enjoying this new spin on it.
What do you mean by cliche? There aren’t a whole lot of stories with elemental powers. I mean, I can think of a few, and even @kate-flournoy is working on something along those same lines, but everyone does it differently. Everyone visualizes–and writes–the powers differently. My story doesn’t focus so much on the actual powers as it does the effect those powers have on the people.
If you do happen to read the google docs, feel free to let me know what you think. I should be adding a revised version of chapter 3 later tonight.
@kate-flournoy Honestly? Tonight was a little rough. I hung out with some friends but didn’t have as much fun as I thought I would. I saw Beauty and the Beast, though, and I loved it.Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
@That_Writer_Girl_99 ah— the joys of introversion. 😛 I know what that’s like. Most of the time I prefer being by myself or with my family. Hanging out with friends (unless they’re kindred spirits) can be mentally exhausting.
Yeah, and then on the way back my mom was lecturing me about how I can’t conceal my emotions, and she gave me this whole thing…it was rather difficult to listen to, especially because I know she’s right.
Well, that’s life, I guess.
I’m rewriting Chapter 3 of Prison. Nothing really happened, and the conversation with Matthias seemed kinda pointless. @kate-flournoy
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
@That_Writer_Girl_99 cheer up. Nothing is ever pointless. Our mistakes teach us by elimination. 😉 You know what doesn’t work now; that’s one more step towards what does.
I know, I know…
See, I’m a perfectionist too. I blame it on my being the eldest child in my family. @kate-flournoy
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
@That_Writer_Girl_99 aha, that dear old ugly monster of perfectionism. I’m still struggling with that too, but I am learning that it’s okay to fail. It’s when I let that failure keep me down and cloud my heart towards God that things become a problem.
I read the docs. Good job! I liked Ava a lot, and Kara. I thought the writing was good too. I just had a couple thoughts.
– When the Warden speaks over the loudspeakers, Kara automatically assumes it is the Warden, and is surprised. But if it is unlikely that the Warden would speak to them directly, then why does she think it is him, and not just some guard that is new at the announcer job?
– When all the guard leaves the room, Kara tells the others about there will be an announcement, and acts like this happens often. But walking back to her cell, she seems frightened, and concerned that the lights are flickering. She goes from acting like this happens all the time to frightened quickly, and without an explanation.
– Kara decided to go sparing because she wanted to talk to Ava about Matthias, right? But when they finished fighting, she seems to very much not want to talk about it.I just want to repeat again, I thought you did a good job, and the writing was excellent.
About elemental being cliche, maybe it is just me. I do think that it is a well used idea, but I can’t think of any examples off the top of my head except Avatar: The Last Airbender. Maybe I just watched too much of that tv show when I was little. 🙂
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