Novel Excerpt (Feedback Welcome)

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  • #32675
    Kate Flournoy
    @kate-flournoy
      • Rank: Chosen One
      • Total Posts: 3976

      @That_Writer_Girl_99 I promise I haven’t forgotten you. I’m really busy right now so I will get to this as soon as possible, but it may be a bit. 😉

      • This reply was modified 7 years, 6 months ago by Kate Flournoy.
      Elizabeth
      @that_writer_girl_99
        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
        • Total Posts: 1819

        It’s alright, love. Life happens.

        I’m just…sitting here…alone…planning…trying to break a wall with a toothpick…


        @kate-flournoy

        Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

        #32702
        Kate Flournoy
        @kate-flournoy
          • Rank: Chosen One
          • Total Posts: 3976

          @That_Writer_Girl_99 quick tip: look at your different character motivations. Each character is the hero of his or her own story. What are they aiming for? What is it they want? Kara’s not going to be the only one moving the plot. Each person’s life is an entire story. You chose to tell those stories through Kara’s eyes, but they’re still separate stories. Think of them like that, and they become much easier to work with in driving a plot.

          Elizabeth
          @that_writer_girl_99
            • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
            • Total Posts: 1819

            Did I not do that? I mean, I’m working on it. It’s been fun planning the different arcs… @kate-flournoy

            Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

            #32704
            Kate Flournoy
            @kate-flournoy
              • Rank: Chosen One
              • Total Posts: 3976

              @That_Writer_Girl_99 no, you’re doing and have done great. Just last I checked you were having problems with the plot, and that’s the one thing that really hangs me up when I struggle with that.
              *cough* I suppose you can ignore that bit of advice then. 😉

              Elizabeth
              @that_writer_girl_99
                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                • Total Posts: 1819

                Nah, I’m just struggling with what to do for the next chapter.

                I’m trying to focus on major plot points. And I can’t think of any…which is why I haven’t written anything new in days. @kate-flournoy

                Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

                #32747
                Kate Flournoy
                @kate-flournoy
                  • Rank: Chosen One
                  • Total Posts: 3976

                  All right @That_Writer_Girl_99 read through the document, and left a comment in one place, but otherwise you did good. 😀 You’re handling Matthias with more subtlety. *thumbs up*

                  Have you figured out your plot problems? Any way I can help you?

                  Elizabeth
                  @that_writer_girl_99
                    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                    • Total Posts: 1819

                    Thanks! I’m glad it was a relatively easy fix. @kate-flournoy

                    No, I haven’t fixed my plot issues. I don’t even know where to begin with them, to be honest…

                    Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

                    #32773
                    Kate Flournoy
                    @kate-flournoy
                      • Rank: Chosen One
                      • Total Posts: 3976

                      @That_Writer_Girl_99 perhaps you should try mapping out Kara’s arc in detail and going from there?

                      Elizabeth
                      @that_writer_girl_99
                        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                        • Total Posts: 1819

                        I’ve done that a little bit…the problem is I can’t think of any major plot points–at all. I know that Kara ends up being thrown out of the prison along with Matthias, and I know that should happen somewhere around the halfway point in the book, but…

                        Ugh. It’s so frustrating. I need specifics but no matter how hard I try I can’t come up with any.

                        @kate-flournoy

                        Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

                        #32782
                        Kate Flournoy
                        @kate-flournoy
                          • Rank: Chosen One
                          • Total Posts: 3976

                          @That_Writer_Girl_99 that is a GREAT midpoint. So right now what you’re looking for seems to be a first plot point— where Kara commits to action. What about Blake? Was he taken in the fight with the Catastrophes? Or did he use it as a distraction to infiltrate the prison and get caught or something? If that’s the case Matthias could have gotten wind of it, and steals Kara out to witness Blake being questioned by the Warden or something so she can get a taste of what life there is beyond the prison. Matthias probably doesn’t care what Kara believes, right? Just so long as she can get him OUT— and he thinks this might just convince her to try. He might have been thinking in one blow to prove the Warden horrible and the outside world good… which would be a really great twist if the Warden ended up getting the better of the questioning, or at least coming out the most sympathetic character. 😛
                          Then if you did that you’ve also got an awesome characteristic moment for both the Warden and Blake, as Blake stands up against the Warden and their EiLs directly clash.

                          Thoughts?

                          Elizabeth
                          @that_writer_girl_99
                            • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                            • Total Posts: 1819

                            Thanks! Midpoint. Yeah, that’s the word I was looking for.

                            Ugh…I still don’t know what to do with Blake. At this point, I’m envisioning him outside the prison, which actually isn’t where I had him at the beginning of my planning, but you know how that goes. The characters do what they want, sometimes.

                            Also, it makes sense when you consider that as of right now, I have Matthias working as a sort of triple agent. The Warden thinks Matthias is his spy, monitoring the other prisoners for any sign of rebellion, but Matthias’ true “allegiance” is with Blake, who is outside the city. Maybe allegiance isn’t the right word–Matthias is will go along with anyone who tells him that they can get him out of the prison. Right now, that’s Blake, and Blake has actually verbally promised to get Matthias out, which is why he’s so impatient with everyone else. It’s also why he’s looking for anyone who can get him out faster.

                            Does that make sense? Did I leave any holes? @kate-flournoy

                            Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

                            #32986
                            Kate Flournoy
                            @kate-flournoy
                              • Rank: Chosen One
                              • Total Posts: 3976

                              @That_Writer_Girl_99 nope, looks great! I love the different facets of Matthias’ personality. 😀

                              As for Blake… I really think you want him inside the prison. That brings the battle directly to Kara where she is right now and sets the whole place in an uproar as conflicting beliefs and agendas collide all over about what to do with him. This also gives Kara the option to work and get him out of the prison, further developing her EiL that the truth is uncomfortable and should be avoided at all costs as we talked about earlier.
                              There are any number of ways and reasons he could get inside the prison. One option is that perhaps he has his doubts that Matthias is really doing his job (maybe they had an agreement that Matthias would tell the Elementals the truth about the outside world and try to start a revolution?) and he wants to come and see for himself, so he let himself be captured. Or was captured trying to infiltrate the system. Or maybe he doesn’t even need to be captured yet; maybe he succeeded infiltrating and is now working undercover tracking Matthias and trying to see what’s going on.

                              Thoughts?

                              Elizabeth
                              @that_writer_girl_99
                                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                • Total Posts: 1819

                                Hm. Yes. Okay. *writes this down*

                                I’m concerned about my theme. When I started the story, Intelligence vs. Ignorance sounded like a good idea, but now that I’ve planned out the characters a bit more, and now that I know them better… I’m not sure the theme would work. These characters–especially Matthias and Kara–are going to struggle with a lot of anger and a desire for revenge. I’m not sure how to incorporate intelligence vs. ignorance into that.

                                The good news is, I’m starting to get a clearer picture of what the plot is going to look like. So there’s that.

                                Also, is the new theme series @aratrea is doing the one you were so excited about a few weeks ago? Because I can’t wait to dive into it. @kate-flournoy

                                Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

                                #32988
                                Kate Flournoy
                                @kate-flournoy
                                  • Rank: Chosen One
                                  • Total Posts: 3976

                                  @That_Writer_Girl_99 well, themes can certainly shift. It’s happened to me before. 😛 If you keep having that feeling, don’t be afraid to play around with it and figure out what’s off and whether you can fix it or just want to go with something else.

                                  That’s great!

                                  And no, it’s not. I’m sure this series is going to be awesome too, but what I took was an actual course that they’re going to be releasing… sometime. 😛 I was a beta-tester so I got it early. 😉

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