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Okay, so I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time:
This is the thread where we talk about our charries’ parents!!! Specifically, those that are alive, kicking, and actually nice to their children.
…
Okay, okay, hear me out, here’s where I’m coming from. I think we have too many parents that are just dead or abusive.
I’m not targeting anyone (and I myself have some dead/mean parent figures), but this just isn’t a healthy norm in stories. It gives you a bit of artistic licence with your heroes (meaning, you can throw them in somewhere dangerous without parents to protect them), but to MAKE it normal isn’t right. We should be encouraging a healthy parent-child relationship.
You may be thinking, ‘but I’m not saying toxic relationships are right. I’m trying to write the pain and the wrongness of it, and it’s a bittersweet and serious theme, which I feel called to write…’
I personally think that there’s always an underlying tone in a story – where you can feel what the author is feeling, while writing a scene. And I hate to admit it, but some of us might enjoy writing those scenes… reveling in the DRAMA of it.
It’s just… fun to write those scenes sometimes.
Enjoy the drama.
I’m not even going to go into the Mental Health Topic (which I considered making as well, but won’t). But that’s part of it.
It’s a temptation for us teens specifically, to romanticize these things. ‘This character is depressed and has multiple problems, and nearly dies of emotional pain, but gets up, despite the overwhelming odds.’
In my (super perfect ;)) opinion, some writers forget that these things aren’t flaws. They give their characters these psychological issues, edgy backstories, traces of abuse… these aren’t flaws.
Flaws are when a character does something wrong. Not because they’re scared of their abusive father. Not because they are malnourished and need food. Not because, over years of loneliness, they just can’t understand people anymore. It’s when they do something selfish and mean and greedy. Because they have a giant to overcome. Not a brother who hits them all the time, not a manipulative villain – themselves.
Because otherwise, the trauma is too enjoyable to the YA demographic.
That makes me uncomfortable, and I think it’s wrong.
…
I hate calling people out. I’m not going to tag any peeps, because I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m attacking them. But. Ya’ know. Just something to think about, yeah?
…
And so that’s it. XD I’m going to put a few nice parents on here, since I love kind parent figures in stories. We don’t have nearly enough of those. If any genre needs good role models, it’s YA. (Which is… pretty much what we all write on here?)
If you add a parent’s bio on here, I will SPAM YOU WITH HEART EMOJIS!!! Because that’s what we need, ‘specially with parents XD
xoxo
Thank you for reading my ramble 😛
– Whaley
#ProtectAdolinKholin
Ahhhhh nice parents!!!!!
I’ve noticed this too, and it is a little disturbing. It’s not that we shouldn’t address abuse etc. in our writing – we should – but we need to be careful about what we portray as normal. The words we write are powerful.
Also, that note on character flaws is Soo true and pretty much a personal writing struggle of mine. I need to work on actual flaws. XD
Why do they all struggle with the same things?!
Anyway, I have a few AMAZING parents that I’d love to introduce, some that I need to flesh out, and a great anticipation to read about y’alls.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
*Standing ovation*
I also have noticed this…thing going on, even though I’m not on KP much anymore. It has popped up in much of the literature I’ve seen too, so maybe that’s another reason I mainly stick to classics.
Also, can we write about parents who love their children and their spouse? I mean, divorce does happen a lot in real life, but could that be because it has been so totally normalized in our world? Books, movies, and the rest is full of horrible things these days, divorce and marital abuse included.
And I basically just reiterated everything you said in more words. XD
Anyway, I do have some parents I would like to share, but, again, I’m not on here much at all anymore, so it may not happen.
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the Gork@whalekeeper glad u made this forum!!! And…ah…I know u didn’t call any names but I still feel like I need to…apologize for some reason….???
I feel like I fall into that pit…a lot…it’s a struggle…but thanks for pointing it out…and I’ve been struggling with some stuff personally with some things so uhh…
But yea I apologize for anything….
Anyway!! Moving past that!!!
I do have some good parents/parental figures (do parental figures count??)
And I’ll post their bios because I actually need to work on them!
I know u said alive and kicking but I just really want to briefly mention Grimm’s amazing father. He was really the best.
But yea, so there is Ara’s parents, and grandfather! They’re so amazing! I actually based them all off of my own family, and I specifically made them like this to show that there are good, wonderful families out there, like you said, and bad or broken families aren’t the norm.
They’re the large contrast to some of the other families Ara meets and her guiding force for how she views/handles things as they’re the ones that raised her (just like me and mine😊)
Grimm’s people, before the rebellion when Ara enters, was a people based off of Family, and their whole people was based on family values, and Grimm gained a lot from that. Though he became hardened due to everything that happened after that time, he still holds to that time and the values he was taught by his own family, and the core beliefs his people held.
The mer show an opposite to the Fae and the Dryads in their love for all things creative, and togetherness and they are extremely grateful and protective of the family unit. They’re the only clan that don’t try to take Paxton for their own gain, but help Ara and the others, and in the end tell Ara how she can save Paxton from his fate (making them bonded by blood through a sacred tradition)
Jocelyn’s father is actually still alive, and while he’s gone a bit mad, and you don’t know he’s her father (or where he stands) until later in the books, he cares for her deeply, and has always been looking out for her behind the scenes.
He gifted her with Nyx, and when she discovers who he is, while their reunion is bittersweet since she’s never known him as a father but, has regarded him in a high way, and she decides to leave Cirque, he is supportive, knowing that has to discover what she needs to heal.
He stays to help return his and his daughter’s home to its former glory, as well as help his hurting Niece as she takes over rulership.
Again, they’re not alive now, but Luna’s family…AGH they were so amazing…and they saved her life (think the parents from Rogue one)
afterward she was found by Kobolds, and that ENTIRE race became her family unit, and she was adopted by them. They loved her as her own and raised her in her own beliefs, and she even converted them to the the Light One.
Its a bit of an odd relationship, since an entire PEOPLE adopted her, but she’d never trade it and they all love her dearly, though they might be a bit strange.
again! I hope to put bios of Ara’s parents on here so yea!
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebMaking that post made me feel….
very good…
wow…
I didn’t actually realize how much I…actually did even out things…
I was actually worried about myself…with what u were saying in the beginning of ur post….
but making that and talking about the good parents and role models….makes me realize it’s like it should be, the light contrasting (and overpowering) the dark in the end.
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebSo uh honestly in my book Tomorrow’s War all the parents are dead.
Alex and Tristan’s parents were Christian ps and over all good parents but they died when they were really little
Alex does gets raised by a different Christian family…. But they die too
Tristan gets raised by his non believing aunt and uncle they aren’t abusive but they weren’t prepared to raise a child
Anakin’s father was a bad role model and makes Anakin follow in his footsteps his mother isn’t mentioned intel the second book.
and I’m still coming up with Skylar’s parents lol but they will be dead too
But I do agree on good parents they are hard to come by in books
Do me a favor…. Tell Cress I meant it
-ThorneYou kind of just mentioned one of the main reasons I generally dislike the YA genre (no offence to the majority of you guys who wright YA stuff. I do like some YA stuff its just there has been a majority of YA stuff that I have not found as good because I feel like the genre is too teenagery (I guess that could be a descriptor to kind of describe some of what you mentioned)). I generally read and wright (ok I would say my writing is high school+ but nit YA (think more like slightly darker than stormlight)) more of the adult section of the library. I have personally found more stuff I enjoy there. It is really funny because I don’t entirely know how they separate YA and Adult besides the fact that YA has a target audience of teenagers.
I do have some good parents but I don’t have to s of time to post about that now.
Through darkness,
light shines brightest- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@whalekeeper I think I see what you’re getting at, even if I do have a different view of the issue. I think, like Godly said, that there should be both (good & bad parents). And I believe that, bc sadly, it’s a truth of life. There are good parents, there are bad, and there are bad parents simply because sin is in the world.
I think HOW we portray it is more important than IF we portray it. (and I try to keep in mind that everyone has their own convictions on what they believe is ok to portray in Christian fiction, so please don’t think I’m attacking what you believe) If we’re portraying it as something desirable? If so, that’s when you have a problem.
And I apologize if I have ever written anything to make it seem that way, but it’s something that I’ve felt led to write about in my books. I know not everyone is called to write about such topics, but for those who are, I think it’s important to not shy away from it. It is a sad reality of this world, and if Christians who are called to write about it don’t write about it, the only voice on that subject everyone will hear will be the world’s.
(and I know it’s not what any of y’all are saying, but I think we need to be just as careful to not write perfect parental figures as well, bc honestly, that’s one of my pet peeves with Christian fiction XD)
I apologize for that lengthy rant 😅
truth be told, I do have plenty of good parents as well, but I have so many characters that idk if I could even list all the good parents 😂 not to mention the fact that MOST of my MC’s are/become parents themselves XD
also, idk if I have the time/energy to write lengthy BIOs, so I shall just make a list of the charries that have good parents/are good parents 😁
(ok…so some of them only have one parent or their parents are really old or even dead, but still, all have/had great parent(s))
Leon, Aadelheide, Talia, Iris, Ezekiel, Fin, Camille, Edy, Isabel, Albert, Elias, Jonathan, Naja, Eli, Lily, Ezra, Eva, Esther, Erich, Abelard, Ella, Sadie, Ean, Emilia, Yoshua, Isaiah, Yosef
ok…that’s enough XD I have more though 😂
Oh yea!! I did forgot to mention all my MCs become parents too XD XD
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebGreat topic idea, btw!!! 😃
Okay, yes, so I’ve definitely noticed this in a lot of books. I do have this one book where there are a lot of parents like that, but it’s ’cause they’re all stuck up royals…. and it’s the kids too, so yeah. 😅
Anyway, yes! We definitely need more good parents!
While he doesn’t come into the story until later, my MC Rina has a great father, Kyron. (hence my tag, and yes he’s an Arcanin XD) He basically spends his whole life searching for her after her mom passed… And risks his life mutliple times to save her. On top of that, (SPOILER ALERT) his brother and her uncle, Sorren, makes a pretty good father figure until they’re reunited.
An MC from yet another WIP, Amara, has a pretty great mom, Jade. She runs the entire society fighting back against evil dragons (so you know, pretty good XD) and goes through a lot to keep her daughter safe.
Something random I just noticed, to @koshka ‘s point, both Kyron and Jade’s spouses are… dead. I hadn’t even noticed that until now. But I promise, I do have parents with their spouses alive (and a lot of them have a good relationship) , these two were just different! 🤣
I have a lot more, including MCs who become parents XD but I’ll stop there.
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
@whalekeeper @elishavet-pidyon @koshka @godlyfantasy12 @smiley @freedomwriter76
That’s a really good point!!
It’s actually one thing that I was really excited to write about in my trilogy. The fact that Ami’s parents love her, support her, and are her role models.
She has a great relationship with her mother, and she looks to her father as someone she can always rely on.
I absolutely love it!!
As for Ev… well… his story is a lot different, but I won’t get into that, because his parents are… complicated. 😅
Anyway, I understand where you’re coming from, and I totally respect that. But I also agree with what some of the others said, that there are families like that out there, but as Christian writers, we just need to be careful in how we portray that. Though I personally prefer reading about characters who have awesome parents. 😉
I’d love to share my parent bios on here!! But… I’ll get to it tomorrow. 🙃 I have to got now. 🙂
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
- Total Posts: 692
I love this idea. You’ll be glad to see this bio. While they aren’t the main characters they are important. Meet Carol and David. 2 lovely, kind, sarcastic/comedic parents. They love their kids and each other. All they want is to keep their family together. They put their heart and soul into parenting. They are a bit on the harsh side, at least to my MC. It’s up to you all to judge whether they are really harsh or not. They can be very sarcastic and sometimes be a little mean without really meaning to. The Dad sometimes overreacts in situations and the mom is a shopaholic. Those are their main flaws and there’ll be more probably as the story moves forward. Their oldest 2 kids have special needs. Their son is very autistic and can get violent because he has a hard time in social situations plus he’s a hothead. Their oldest daughter has ADD and was in a terrible car accident which caused her to become paralyzed from the hips down so she lives in a wheelchair. Their youngest child is a girl and is very much me. This story is fictional with lots of Sci-fi elements but the personal stuff comes from my own family. The paralyzed thing was made up though. But I do have a cousin in a wheelchair.
- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
- Total Posts: 692
They are a Christian family btw. Their son struggles through his faith during the story but their daughters are all in. 😜
Excellent point!
I’d just like to point out the parents in my story now.
So my MC, Arwen has both her mother and her father, both of which are very good parents. She’s especially close to her father. Now, while her parents are not dead, Arwen’s father, Ruben, does go missing for a couple years. So idk if that counts or doesn’t, but he’s there in the beginning of the story and the end, so…
Now Ash is my villain, and he has a daughter who plays an important role in the story. But, being the villain, he’s not exactly a “nice parent”. While he loves his daughter, he has lots of improving to do with his parenting skills.
Other than them, I don’t really mention any other parents in my WIP
"does anyone have any good ideas?"
"Oh yeah, but none for this"I totally agree! There’s nothing wrong with writing the occasional bad or deceased parent of course, but it seems like every book I read (and even more so with tv shows) has a bunch of characters with parent issues.
Have you read the article on here called “Navigating Family Stereotypes”? It talks about this a bit and has some really good points and helpful tips.
I tend to almost ignore the existence of parents completely in my stories, which is lazy and I should work on that, but I do have a few good (though underdeveloped) parent characters.
Nico and Ethan, the two brothers from my cryptid story, have a really big extended family that gets together a lot and is super supportive. Their mother is very sweet and caring, loves cooking and hosting people at her house, and is always calling her boys to check on how they are doing. Their father is much more introverted and enjoys sitting with his family in silence and letting them do all the talking. When he does go to speak however, his words are usually insightful and wise. Both are in their 50’s, so they seem more like grandparents. Nico’s character flaw is jealousy for his Ethan’s success in life. It comes completely from Nico and has nothing really to do with his family.
My characters Eddie and Ellie also have good parents, though they hardly show up because E+E are out traveling the universe on their own. The hoodies that the girls always wear were made by their mom, and their ship used to be their dad’s. He helped them fix it up before they moved out. Since almost everyone of that alien species has a twin, E+E have an uncle (their mom’s brother) who lives next door. He is the fun uncle who loves spoiling his nieces and teaching them how to get into and out of trouble.
And I have a new story that I’ve been working on with a friend that has a mostly happy family. The main characters are three siblings who live on a farm in a fantasy world. Their dad is in charge of the farm and is constantly busy because of it. But he still makes time to be with his family as much as he can. He tends to be shy and gentle which contradicts his tall and bulky appearance. His wife, on the other hand, is small and slim, but has a spitfire personality. She is quick-witted and strong-willed, which is what she needs to be in order to keep up with her crazy children.
🎵It takes a long time to wait 🌻
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