Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!!
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Ellette Giselle.
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February 3, 2025 at 12:19 pm #196810
Thank you.
It was someone I didn’t know, but there’s still a lot of craziness. We’re leaving for Idaho on Saturday, so you can guess it’s a little hectic. 😉
No half-heartedness and no worldly fear must turn us aside from following the light unflinchingly.
February 3, 2025 at 12:21 pm #196811Oh wow…
My heart hurts for you guys 🥺🥺
This lady thrives on the divine grace of Faith and the rich embrace of caffeine.
February 3, 2025 at 12:34 pm #196814Sorry, I made it up to where Sef turns herself into the Pythonos and they mark her, but haven’t touched it for a while and keep on forgetting to do so. I’ll try to read more soon!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
February 3, 2025 at 12:35 pm #196815I haven’t gotten any further, sorry. It slipped my mind, and then school hit and I don’t have much time each week. You can keep tagging me though, and I’ll read more whenever I get more time.
🏰 Fantasy Writer
✨ Magic System Creator
🎭 Character RPer
📚 Appreciator of BooksFebruary 3, 2025 at 12:36 pm #196816Oh that’s okay!!!
Sef turns herself into the Pythonos
Wait, hold up…
Sef doesn’t turn into the Pythonos…she is enslaved by the Pythonos. I thought I made that clearer but if not can you give me suggestions to help with that? I don’t want to confuse anyone XD
This lady thrives on the divine grace of Faith and the rich embrace of caffeine.
February 3, 2025 at 12:37 pm #196817Don’t worry about it! That’s okay!
This lady thrives on the divine grace of Faith and the rich embrace of caffeine.
February 3, 2025 at 12:38 pm #196818Didn’t Sef turn herself in so they wouldn’t take her mother instead?
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
February 3, 2025 at 12:40 pm #196819Yes, but she didn’t become a Pythonos.
The Pythonos were going to take her mani for slavery and imprisonment.
Sef took her place as a slave.
This lady thrives on the divine grace of Faith and the rich embrace of caffeine.
February 3, 2025 at 12:43 pm #196821Okay. Don’t worry, I didn’t think she had become is is on the path to becoming a Pythonos at this point.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
February 3, 2025 at 12:59 pm #196824I haven’t started it yet, but I will have read all of it by the end of February. Once I read it all, I’ll give you my overall impression and thoughts! :))
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
February 3, 2025 at 2:34 pm #196840Okay good lol
Also, Paynes cannot become Pythonos because of genetics, but I’m not sure how to incorporate that in the book quite yet…don’t worry though, I’ll make that clearer in other drafts.
Okay perfect! Thank you!
This lady thrives on the divine grace of Faith and the rich embrace of caffeine.
February 4, 2025 at 6:09 pm #197054I dragged myself to co-op anyway. 🙁 I just finished your prologue. It’s good, but you overuse italics.
I shall be a vestibule of unhampered sanity.
February 4, 2025 at 6:12 pm #197057Oh my goodness, they kissed!!!! 😍
I shall be a vestibule of unhampered sanity.
February 4, 2025 at 6:28 pm #197063Finished chapter 3.
I shall be a vestibule of unhampered sanity.
February 4, 2025 at 6:30 pm #197064Everything in him told him that his foot should not belong in something that smelled worse than Cassian’s socks,
Lol
I shall be a vestibule of unhampered sanity.
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