NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!!

Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!!

Viewing 3 posts - 316 through 318 (of 318 total)
1 2 3 … 20 21 22
  • Author
    Posts
  • November 30, 2024 at 12:12 pm #190718
    Sara
    @savannah_grace2009
      • Rank: Chosen One
      • Total Posts: 2568

      Oh, and as for why I changed the ending instead of them abandoning Lilitu…

      There are a couple reasons why I did that. Maybe they’re not good reasons lol but I’m going to leave it, at least for now so I can play with it. I think it will make the story make a little bit more sense  in the future so I’m just going to leave it for now.

      Lukas&Livia
      #Lalbert
      Sef&Chase
      #HOTTOLINE
      LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333

      November 30, 2024 at 12:12 pm #190719
      Cloaked Mystery
      @jonas
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 2803

        @savannah_grace2009

        Before you said that the master wanted to make Jaden his second in command to sweeten the deal. I’m saying that if that’s still the reason, I feel like you should portray Kaden as more hesitant initially, because as it is, it doesn’t really feel like he needed that incentive.

        🏰 Fantasy Writer
        ✨ Magic System Creator
        🎭 Character RPer
        📚 Appreciator of Books

        November 30, 2024 at 12:15 pm #190720
        Sara
        @savannah_grace2009
          • Rank: Chosen One
          • Total Posts: 2568

          @jonas

          Oh okay!

          That’s not the reason anymore I guess 😂 I actually forgot I said that…a lot has changed lol

          That makes sense though, I understand what you’re saying!

          Lukas&Livia
          #Lalbert
          Sef&Chase
          #HOTTOLINE
          LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333

        • Author
          Posts
        Viewing 3 posts - 316 through 318 (of 318 total)
        1 2 3 … 20 21 22
        • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
        >