Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!!
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July 22, 2024 at 6:16 pm #183413
Holy cow this thing blew up into a bigger thing than I intended and I feel bad for some reason sorry :/
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 22, 2024 at 6:17 pm #183414Goodness I realized I keep contradicting myself.
Sorry guys.
I say things without thinking them through. (blame it on the coffee!)
I know I said there can’t be redemption for Cass, but I didn’t really mean that.
Ugh. Sorry for the confusion!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 22, 2024 at 6:20 pm #183416I’m getting to the point where I don’t even know what I mean 😭
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 22, 2024 at 6:20 pm #183417Like Jonas said, this isn’t a direct correlation. Pythonos do, in fact, represent evil people AND demons. No person is irredemable, as I said earlier in this post. God can save anyone!
Ok, I was just thinking that you were saying they are unredeemable. If that’s not the case then no worries. Sorry if it seemed like i was coming down hard. I just was worried you were saying there is a point of unredeemable sin. My mistake.
Ok, fine. But if he doesn’t die then Cassian still could……
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 22, 2024 at 6:24 pm #183418No, you’re fine!!!
I just can never seem to think things through before I say them! I reply too fast…
Thanks for helping me, this gave me a lot to think about! (you too @jonas !) Today I developed sooo much of the plot thanks to you guys!
No it wasn’t your mistake, it was MY mistake…I still feel bad for confusing everybody :/
I need to learn how to formulate my thoughts and emotions into coherent sentences!
NO NOBODY IS DYING!!!!! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND DEATH?!?!
I get it, but I have better ways to make things very very sad than killing people off. Sometimes it’s worse to have people live than die in a story (like living with guilt…hehehe). So don’t worry, it will still be sad!!!!!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 22, 2024 at 6:26 pm #183419God can also deliver us over to our sins and temptations…another random thought. (see Romans 1)
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 22, 2024 at 6:28 pm #183420NO NOBODY IS DYING!!!!! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND DEATH?!?!
Oh what? Man. Fine.
It’s not that I want it to be sad, (sad is great in it’s place though) But Christian death scenes can be so beautiful though. Especially when dying for another, and/or as a tie-off to a redemption story.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 22, 2024 at 6:31 pm #183421WAIT actually Cassian is still dying nvm
I forgot about that
I HAVE PLANS
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 22, 2024 at 6:32 pm #183422Um. That was a 180.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 22, 2024 at 6:42 pm #183423I have ADHD…it’s not my fault!!! 😂😂
you’re gonna hate me when you hear what I’m gonna do! heheheh
So you know how you said that Eloy should die INSTEAD of Cass?
Well, Cass is going to be executed.
Naturally Eloy is angry at his brother for everything he did, so he builds up anger, and then instead of stepping in front of Cass to die in his place, he HESITATES. So the opportunity is lost and Cass dies, when Eloy could have saved him.
So now Eloy has to live with the guilt that he should have and could have saved his brother.
So it’s still a redemption story, because it shows that you should love your enemies. But even when you screw up like Eloy, God is waiting for you with open arms! Even though what Eloy did was HORRIBLE he can still be forgiven! There’s more but I’ll save it for later!
The stories where the Christian makes the right choice, and saves everyone and sacrifices themself aren’t my favorite, and I don’t really want to do that with my story. yes, they’re beautiful! But me personally, I’ve always struggled so bad with feelings of self hatred and guilt and shame because I’ve screwed up so bad, and I can’t be the “perfect Christian” like the Bible says I should be, like I know I should be (kind of like Lilitu!!!). What if you don’t sacrifice yourself, even when you know you should? What if you screw up so bad and regret it for the rest of your life? It teaches the readers that sometimes it’s NOT as easy to do the right thing as books make it seem. But it’s better than living a life of regret. It’s better to love now than wait until it’s too late.
AND it shows the readers that you are never too far gone, even if you mess up soooooooo bad!
does that make any sense at all?
Don’t get me wrong, I love it when people sacrifice themselves for their enemies! But I want to experiment with this, too!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 22, 2024 at 6:45 pm #183424savannah_grace2009
Oh my goodness. when I read that one line…. it was like someone stabbed me. Oh, this is gonna be sooooo good! I cannot wait to read it!
Ah, so, plot twist, it’s Elroy who gets the redemption!!! I’m really liking this.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 22, 2024 at 6:48 pm #183425Yeahhhh! hahaha
Thanks for letting me bounce ideas off of you!!! I really appreciate that! <3
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 22, 2024 at 6:51 pm #183426I’m so glad i could be of help! I cannot wait to read this!!!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 22, 2024 at 6:53 pm #183427unfortunately, that scene is a LOOOONNNNNGGGG ways away.
We have plenty of other heartbreaking things before then…
but thanks for being so interested in it! That means a lot!!!!!!!!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 22, 2024 at 6:56 pm #183430You are so welcome! Write fast my dear!!! (Otherwise I will hunt you down…..)
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
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