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Hey girl! I love how consistently you’re working on this! Here’s a small critique which you don’t need to read right now if it will potentially overwhelm you ❤️
You’re so selfish…you’re a horrible friend, why do you think she’d ever want you, little Payne?
You shouldn’t even be alive.
…
Don’t tell anyone…they won’t believe you. They’ll think you’re crazy. Or worse, they’ll agree with me. We both know you’re not worthy of love.
Are these intrusive thoughts? (Who am I kidding, of course they are 😅)
I feel as if Lilitu is much less likely to think like this than Sef. But I can ✨see the vision✨😝 – you’re probably aiming to depict inner demons/the Evil One working in Lilitu.
If so, it might be interesting to explore different thoughts compared to Sef’s. Sef seems to be the self-deprecating one. You only need one character to represent that theme; with two characters, you can contrast and play around. Meaning Lilitu has different internal conflict from Sef.
For example, Sef can deny herself love, while Lilitu might have a sense of pride/self love, and needs to be taken down a peg. He doesn’t have to look selfish, just a little overenthusiastic about being the hero. Or he has a hard time giving love to those he doesn’t get along with.
These are all just brainstorm suggestions! 😅 If you’re still figuring things out that’s okay. How’re you doing, btw?
“Everything is a mountain”
No that’s not overwhelming me!!! <3
Actually that makes a lot of sense.
I have to think about that XD XD (and pray about it too!) because that would work really well!!!
Aww thanks for asking!
If you look at the Prayer Requests topic I posted about how I’m doing (sorry I’m tired and don’t feel like retyping all that lol)
But thanks Whaley, I love talking to you!!!! 💗💗💗💗
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333What did I say! I knew there was something more to Eloy! I really like him now.
Cass is a jerk.
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
@everyone
Okay.
For those of you sad and mad about Cass….
I have some spoilers.
So if you hate spoilers, LOOK AWAY
I’ve been brainstorming a lot about Cass’s character, and I have come to a decision.
Cass is a perfect example of how even strong Christians give up, how someone who appears to be a superchristian can fall and crumble under pressure. Even people we trust the most let us down.
Ellette was saying how I need to break Cass.
Don’t worry, I will. I’ll break him. I’ll shatter everything…especially his good qualities. His joy. his ability to love others. And most importantly, I’ll destroy his faith in the Great One.
It all begins when he notices that Sef has a crush on him. Thinking it’s harmless and kind of cute how she looks up to him, he plays with her feelings, encouraging her. You see, Cass has a subconscious drive to pump himself up. He feels insecure about himself, so he manipulates situations in order to get people to look up to him or get praise. He doesn’t fully realize that he’s doing that to Sef, but it’s all a selfish desire to get those feelings of being important and admired and his mentality is “look, I’m so much better. Look at me. I’m perfect.”
He thinks that leading Sef on is harmless, a joke and nothing too deep, but the Master is working in his heart, using Cass as a pawn to hurt Sef. It’s all a grand scheme to destroy Sef’s faith, and the Master is using Cass to build up Sef’s trust, only to shatter her helpless and vulnerable heart.
Eventually, Cass, Lilitu, Sef, and Eloy are captured, and are tortured in an effort to convert them to Pythonos, and try to get information from them. Lilitu and Sef stay strong, and Eloy defends them under pressure, but Cass, now filled with doubt and self-condemnation, breaks.
He gives in, takes an oath, and becomes a Pythonos.
Before you go hating on my poor baby Cass, just remember.
Are we really that different from him? Can we trust the faith we have? Peter thought he trusted Jesus, thought he was ready to do anything that was asked of him, even walking on the water. And he did–until he took his eyes off of Jesus and focused on the wind and waves around him. In another passage. the wind and waves threatened to destroy the small boat, and Jesus was sleeping! But…the disciples still had Jesus right there with them…and still doubted that He was able to save them! How could they have Jesus with them, in the boat, in the waves, yet doubt?
Cass’s story is a reminder to all of us to do a spiritual check-up. We may think we’re strong in our faith, we may think we trust Him fully, but do we really? When the storm comes. can we trust the faith we have? Even when the wind and waves threaten to sink us, drown us, take everything we have, will he have the courage to keep our eyes on Jesus?
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Oooooo I LOVE this!!!
Ok, one thing,
You see, Cass has a subconscious drive to pump himself up. He feels insecure about himself, so he manipulates situations in order to get people to look up to him or get praise. He doesn’t fully realize that he’s doing that to Sef, but it’s all a selfish desire to get those feelings of being important and admired and his mentality is “look, I’m so much better. Look at me. I’m perfect.”
I don’t think this was on your radar when Cass was first introduced, and in several of the early chapters. (am i right?) so, you need to show a little bit of that in him. just a teeny bit. Maybe he can’t stand it if one of hios brothers is better at him in something. Or…. maybe he could really cut Elroy down. Make him the laughing stock for everyone and shut him out. Elroy is the biggest competition in the family. But, you could do this so skillfully that the reader (because Sef and Lilitue join in on that when Cassian starts it) will kinda side with cass and be blind to the truth. ya know? Right now, Cassian seems a little too perfect, and I feel like the reader will feel cheated because these things weren’t there to begin with.
Eventually, Cass, Lilitu, Sef, and Eloy are captured, and are tortured in an effort to convert them to Pythonos, and try to get information from them. Lilitu and Sef stay strong, and Eloy defends them under pressure
OH YES! I can’t wait for this! Go Elroy!
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
Oooooo I LOVE this!!!
Ok, one thing,
You see, Cass has a subconscious drive to pump himself up. He feels insecure about himself, so he manipulates situations in order to get people to look up to him or get praise. He doesn’t fully realize that he’s doing that to Sef, but it’s all a selfish desire to get those feelings of being important and admired and his mentality is “look, I’m so much better. Look at me. I’m perfect.”
I don’t think this was on your radar when Cass was first introduced, and in several of the early chapters. (am i right?) so, you need to show a little bit of that in him. just a teeny bit. Maybe he can’t stand it if one of hios brothers is better at him in something. Or…. maybe he could really cut Elroy down. Make him the laughing stock for everyone and shut him out. Elroy is the biggest competition in the family. But, you could do this so skillfully that the reader (because Sef and Lilitue join in on that when Cassian starts it) will kinda side with cass and be blind to the truth. ya know? Right now, Cassian seems a little too perfect, and I feel like the reader will feel cheated because these things weren’t there to begin with.
Eventually, Cass, Lilitu, Sef, and Eloy are captured, and are tortured in an effort to convert them to Pythonos, and try to get information from them. Lilitu and Sef stay strong, and Eloy defends them under pressure
OH YES! I can’t wait for this! Go Elroy!
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
Sooo
I think I have an idea for Lilitu’s internal conflict!
I’ve been plotting a lot today, if you couldn’t tell 😂
Sef is self depricating, like you said. She’s more like “I’m stupid. I’m worthless. I’m not worthy of love.”
What I did is prayed before developing characters today and asked God to show me verses to base the character arc off of.
Sef’s verses are: Isaiah 43:1-2, 4-7, 10-13, 16-19. (go look them up and it will make more sense!), Romans 8:1-2, Psalm 13, and Matthew 28:20.Her character shows that Satan loves to use anything to get us to doubt who God is, including feeling bad about ourselves, and wrapping our identity in the wrong things. (Like if you’re insecure about your personality, you put too much of your identity in your personality and what people think, etc.)
Lilitu is different. He feels like he can never measure up to who people want him to be. He’s not the person that his family wants to be (with his flaws like his temper and he feels like he keeps messing up), and he’s not the person he wants to be, either He’s tired of messing up, yet can’t stop sinning no matter hard he tries. His thinking is more like “I try but I’m not the person they want me to be. I’m not who I want to be. Who am I kidding? I can’t do this.”
Lilitu’s character shows that we don’t HAVE to give in to our flesh, we don’t have to give into temptation anymore! His main verse is 1 John 1-2: My little children. I am writing you these things so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father–Jesus Christ the Righteous One. He Himself is the propitation for our sins, and not only for ours, but also for those of the whole world.
Notice that in that verse, it doesn’t say “when someone sins”. It says “IF anyone DOES sin”. This means that we don’t have to give in to sin! We can say no to temptation! 1 Corinthians 10:13 says that God doesn’t let us be tempted unless He knows that we can overcome it with His help. Another one of Lilitu’s verses is 2 Timothy 2: 13. Even when we’re unfaithful, Jesus is still faithful! He doesn’t condemn us– John 8:10-11. Isaiah 1:16-17 says that we need to learn to do what is good. That means that God knows it doesn’t come naturally, and He’ll help us learn and say no to temptation!
What do you think?!? Do you “see the vision” XD XD
anyone else, I would love to hear your thoughts too!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Nooooooo no spoilers 🫣
Home is where your massive, overflowing collection of LEGO bricks is.
thanks!!! I’ve been having a lot of deep thoughts lately XD lol
I don’t think this was on your radar when Cass was first introduced, and in several of the early chapters. (am i right?) so, you need to show a little bit of that in him. just a teeny bit. Maybe he can’t stand it if one of hios brothers is better at him in something. Or…. maybe he could really cut Elroy down. Make him the laughing stock for everyone and shut him out. Elroy is the biggest competition in the family. But, you could do this so skillfully that the reader (because Sef and Lilitue join in on that when Cassian starts it) will kinda side with cass and be blind to the truth. ya know? Right now, Cassian seems a little too perfect, and I feel like the reader will feel cheated because these things weren’t there to begin with.
The thing is, Cass is “too perfect”. It’s all fake, but he tries to be perfect, and gives the appearance of being perfect. This makes it hit harder when we realize that he isn’t what he seems. Cass really does believe he is the perfect child…so he acts like it. This is why Lilitu always feels inferior to Cass, because Cass seems perfect and seems to never ever sin.
It also shows that sin comes in many forms. Sin isn’t always on the outside, but our thoughts are a form of sin as well. So maybe Cass doesn’t sin on the outside, but his motives for not sinning on the outside are sinful.
Because he gives the impression that he is perfect, his brothers feel forgotten and inferior. Eloy prefers to be forgotten and live in the shadows, but it really affects Lilitu, because he doesn’t understand why he can’t stop making mistakes.
Cass is an allegory of how nobody’s perfect, no matter how much they give the illusion that they are.
Does that make sense?
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333That’s fair lol
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Oh I get that. I just mean there was no him thinking he was perfect at all. Like, it seemed to me, the reader, that he was a humble and loving guy who wanted the best for sef and his brothers. There needs to be a little bit of that arogance showing. just a tiny bit. otherwise it’s not real. Ya know?
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
Ohhhh okay makes sense!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Also have you seen Sef and Lilitu’s character arcs I posted a couple posts back? I tagged Whaley but I’d love to hear your thoughts too!!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333No, I haven’t. let me go take a look.
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
Ugh, I can’t find it. I must be blind.
Riker dropped his voice to a soft whisper. “…I’m home.”
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