Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!!
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July 16, 2024 at 12:41 pm #182907
Cutteeee! I like this chapter! 😄
I really love the scene where Eloy wakes Lilitu—it’s very funny, lol! 😂
Ah, Cassian. Still my favorite character of yours so far. 💛ðŸ¤
Flaz: *yawns* Did the sun just come up? In the west?
July 16, 2024 at 2:40 pm #182941Awww thanks!!!!
Yes I love the sibling dynamic XD XD
Why does everybody like Cassian? I know he’s great and all but I seriously didn’t expect him to be the FAVORITE lol 😂😂 (don’t get me wrong, I myself love him but Sef and Marcurious and Ottoline are my favorites!!!)
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 17, 2024 at 7:37 am #182966Oh, they are older then I thought. Except for Cassian. I would suggest making that a little clearer in the book. I lost track of their ages when it started time changing really fast. I think now that we seen settled into the timeline we are sticking with, I would reinstate all their ages.
Everyone loves Cassian because everyone loves the big brother character. Especially when he’s a good one.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 17, 2024 at 12:43 pm #182985Their ages haven’t changed since chapter 6. I’ll try to make that clearer
Huh…I still don’t see it XD
(poor Eloy, everybody hates him :/)
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 17, 2024 at 12:46 pm #182989@savannah_grace200
(poor Eloy, everybody hates him :/)
That’s because we’ve seen just about nothing of him! If we knew him better we might like him. Right now I keep forgetting that he even exists.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 17, 2024 at 12:56 pm #182992Trust me, no one likes Eloy.
You’ll see.
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 17, 2024 at 12:58 pm #182995well right now I can’t even DISlike him because I keep forgetting he exists!
Does he get Cassian killed? If he does I’ll throttle him.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
July 17, 2024 at 1:00 pm #182998that’s the point…I intentionally did that so he’d be forgettable.
You’ll see.
Just wait.
It will all make sense.
Does he get Cassian killed?
You know, that’s a good idea….thanks for the inspiration!!!!!!!!!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 17, 2024 at 1:04 pm #183000You know, that’s a good idea….thanks for the inspiration!!!!!!!!!
Wait – NO. DON’T KILL CASSIAN.
ELLETTE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.
Any noun can become a verb if you don't care enough.
July 17, 2024 at 1:06 pm #183001I must go plan his funeral
peace out y’all
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 17, 2024 at 1:07 pm #183003Im contacting the protection squad.
SARA IF YOU KILL HIM I SWEAR-
Any noun can become a verb if you don't care enough.
July 17, 2024 at 1:08 pm #183004heh…heh………
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 17, 2024 at 1:11 pm #183005CASSIAN’S BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS.
Any noun can become a verb if you don't care enough.
July 17, 2024 at 1:11 pm #183006Actually Cass will live
but he will wish he didn’t
#INSPIRATION
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333July 17, 2024 at 1:12 pm #183007 -
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