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  • #159199
    Cloaked Mystery
    @jonas
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      @savannah_grace2009

      Yes, that definitely makes it clearer. With the cover, it might be better to have the puzzle pieces cover all or at least most of it. Obviously you have a limited amount of pictures to show, but it would probably look better to have more.

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      #159202
      Cloaked Mystery
      @jonas
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        Also, I think the UNIT does work well, but you might want to come up with a reason it is called that. The definition of a unit is:

        an individual thing or person regarded as single and complete but which can also form an individual component of a larger or more complex whole.

        So why did the Pythonos name it the UNIT? (In this case you might want to make it ‘Unit’ in lowercase, because capitalization usually denotes an acronym.)

        Otherwise, you could make it an acronym. I could help brainstorm ideas for that if you like.

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        #159327
        TheArcaneAxiom
        @thearcaneaxiom
          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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          @savannah_grace2009

          Well, the Traitor normally specializes in the UNIT and has virtually nothing to do with the prison block, so he’s like the lead scientist. Good idea about the scars, I might use that, because since he doesn’t go to the prison block, like you said, how would she know? And yeah, I was kind of going for that he goes around to make sure his guards are doing their jobs, so he would be a common face to see there.

          Alright, that makes sense! Thanks for explaining. A scar is a really common distinction though, so feel free to use it, but there could be some other ways to distinguish him as well.

          Guys…just when I think I finally wrote a decent chapter, you guys find all these plot holes! 😂

          But that’s good…I probably wouldn’t be the writer I am right now if it wasn’t for you guys finding all these problems I’ve overlooked. Thank you!

          Sorry😅 I know how frustrating it can be when you see your brain child measured and prodded as if it were in the UNIT🤣 Your taking it really well though, and even with excitement, so that’s a really good mentality. Your showing wonderful meekness in that way, being open to learning and changing for the better. I would say that your writing has greatly improved since you first started posting, which is wonderful. Just don’t forget that Jonas and I are flawed and opinionated individuals, so when we make a suggestion, never take it as absolute authority, because you, as the author, have absolute authority.

          GUYS….thoughts on this book cover??? I made it last night and idk if I love it or hate it….

          Hmmmmmmmmmm, I don’t know. For one thing, people are going to look at this and think that it is a contemporary fiction, instead of a fantasy, and for multiple reasons. While I like the concept of the puzzle pieces, and jigsaw puzzle pieces have been around since the 1760s, it will still feel too familiar to our world to exist in a different time, let alone another world entirely. The boy in the hoody in the corner also bares a similar effect. These two things on top of the fact that there’s nothing around to tell the readers that there are any fantastical elements in the story will make them think that this is something from our world, not another. There’s also nothing that really tells the readers what this story is going to be like in the first place, even if it was contemporary. The puzzle pieces seem to have only random pictures that don’t really tell the readers anything, nor does it really cause them to question what they might mean. The only possible conclusion is that this might be about someone’s life being a mess, and they have to put it together like a puzzle, but that doesn’t tell the readers anything, because that’s nearly every story already. There is of course the title, but even that may feel contemporary, because it will make many think of astronomy, and will likely make a connection that the main character likes the stars or something like that.

          From a purely aesthetic stand point, I might agree with Jonas… but I’m not sure. I think it has potential, but definitely needs some sprucing up, perhaps a border or something? It also might need some better contrast between the puzzle pieces and the outer image, as well as the lettering, because currently it clashes, and you have to strain your eyes to read it, even if it’s only a very little.

          Forgive me for my over analysis, again treating your brain child like it’s in the UNIT, but that’s my two cents😅

          He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

          #159340
          Sara
          @savannah_grace2009
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            @thearcaneaxiom

            Sorry😅 I know how frustrating it can be when you see your brain child measured and prodded as if it were in the UNIT🤣 Your taking it really well though, and even with excitement, so that’s a really good mentality. Your showing wonderful meekness in that way, being open to learning and changing for the better. I would say that your writing has greatly improved since you first started posting, which is wonderful. Just don’t forget that Jonas and I are flawed and opinionated individuals, so when we make a suggestion, never take it as absolute authority, because you, as the author, have absolute authority.

            Thanks! I agree, my writing has improved SO MUCH since my first post…when I look at some things I wrote even a couple months ago, the style is so different!

            Forgive me for my over analysis

            No, you’re good! It’s actually my first cover I’ve ever designed, so I know it probably won’t end up actually being that designed, but yeah, good points! I have NEVER tried to design a cover before so thanks!

            Lukas&Livia
            #Lalbert
            Sef&Chase
            #HOTTOLINE
            LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333

            #159357
            Sara
            @savannah_grace2009
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              @jonas

              all this is hurting my brain!!! 😂 🤣 It’s been a long day…

              So why did the Pythonos name it the UNIT? (In this case you might want to make it ‘Unit’ in lowercase, because capitalization usually denotes an acronym.)

              Otherwise, you could make it an acronym. I could help brainstorm ideas for that if you like.

              Any help would be great. I’m a hopeless case when it comes to making up names of places in my fantasy world. I normally end up looking up weird names or fantasy town name generators. So yeah.

              The only reason i made it all caps was because it would make it sound/look more significant than just the word “unit” and it’s more than the definition of the word. Maybe that’s not practical? I don’t know…I’m kinda sleep deprived and it’s been a day…

              Lukas&Livia
              #Lalbert
              Sef&Chase
              #HOTTOLINE
              LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333

              #159502
              Sara
              @savannah_grace2009
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                @jonas @thearcaneaxiom

                Hey, it’s me again, lol. I have a question. Is it fine to give a side character a POV if it’s for one or two chapters?

                Here’s some context. If you guys remember Liv from chapter 5 (where Lilitu steals bread), I was thinking she could play a part in Lilitu’s story. She’s kind of secretly supporting the Paynes and I wanted to show it from her perspective, but didn’t know if that would be too confusing since she’s not really a MC. What do you guys think

                Lukas&Livia
                #Lalbert
                Sef&Chase
                #HOTTOLINE
                LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333

                #159507
                Cloaked Mystery
                @jonas
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                  @savannah_grace2009

                  I would say it completely depends on relevance to the main plot. Is she going to have future interactions with the main cast? Will her actions have an impact on the overall story? If not, then I would say it would be best not to, but there is another option.

                  Each book of the Stormlight Archive is split into five parts, and between each of these parts, there are sections called interludes. Each interlude is generally four or so chapters from the perspective of characters that are not part of the main cast. Sometimes the characters are important later, (several of them eventually become main POV characters), but more often, the point is to flesh out the world.

                  So, you could do something similar, but you would probably want to make it a regular occurrence and make it clear what you’re doing. The reader might find it strange if every so often, (or worse, just once) you jump over to a character that isn’t even important to the overall plot. But if you make it a regular part of the overall structure, the reader will understand and hopefully not be too annoyed about being taken away from the main cast. Important things to keep in mind:

                  • Don’t do it too frequently. Leaving one character at a cliffhanger to jump over to another is already annoying to the reader, but if the character they are going to is another one they care about, they won’t mind too much. But if you do it with side characters, the reader will be more irritated.
                  • Do it in natural lulls in the story. In Stormlight, the interludes are always placed at the end of a part, so there things are usually winding down from one section and winding up for the next.
                  • Make it interesting: no matter what, the reader will probably be annoyed if the interlude is boring. There are a few interludes in Stormlight that are super boring, although they are mercifully short.

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                  #159509
                  Cloaked Mystery
                  @jonas
                    • Rank: Chosen One
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                    @savannah_grace2009

                    Any help would be great. I’m a hopeless case when it comes to making up names of places in my fantasy world. I normally end up looking up weird names or fantasy town name generators. So yeah.

                    The only reason i made it all caps was because it would make it sound/look more significant than just the word “unit” and it’s more than the definition of the word. Maybe that’s not practical? I don’t know…I’m kinda sleep deprived and it’s been a day…

                    Sure, I can try to help. Might have to wait till the weekend though.

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                    #159511
                    Sara
                    @savannah_grace2009
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                      @jonas

                      I would say it completely depends on relevance to the main plot. Is she going to have future interactions with the main cast? Will her actions have an impact on the overall story? If not, then I would say it would be best not to, but there is another option.

                      Yeah, she’s going to play a part in the story.

                      That makes sense, I’ll experiment I guess. Though, she’s the only non-MC that I really wanted to do a POV on (besides Nathan and Azuri but that one is necessary and isn’t really a POV)

                      I might consider making her a MC, but I now have a fear of making too many MC’s. Is 6 MC’s too many, or should I stick with my original 5?

                       

                      Lukas&Livia
                      #Lalbert
                      Sef&Chase
                      #HOTTOLINE
                      LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333

                      #159516
                      HighScribe
                      @highscribeofaetherium
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                        @savannah_grace2009

                        Just popping in, I know I haven’t been very active on here…

                        Is 6 MC’s too many, or should I stick with my original 5?

                        It really depends. If Liv is going to be important enough to be an MC and if you can make each of their viewpoints interesting and make every character unique, I’d say go for it. I know GodlyFantasy has, like, 8 MCs, I think 😅

                        Any noun can become a verb if you don't care enough.

                        #159517
                        Cloaked Mystery
                        @jonas
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                          @savannah_grace2009

                          The amount of characters a book can handle depends on how long it is and how “main” the characters will be.

                          I keep using Stormlight as an example for some reason but in Stormlight, which will be 5 books long, each over 1000 pages, there are three main characters, but there are probably a dozen or so main-ish characters who get a significant amount of POV chapters. These characters still get a good amount of development time, despite not being the “main” characters. However, SA really spends a lot of time developing its characters, so it probably could have focused on more characters if it didn’t give quite as much attention to the ones it gave tons to.

                          Obviously your story probably isn’t supposed to be nearly as long, but I’m guessing you could do six characters if you want. If it’s necessary, three of them could be the most main and the other three could be less main. It really depends on how much you want to develop each of them. Honestly, there’s not much of a difference between five and six, and not all of them have to be focused on an equal amount.

                          Btw, are the characters you consider the main ones Sef, Lilitu, Neveah, Ottoline, and Marcurious?

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                          #159519
                          Cloaked Mystery
                          @jonas
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                            @savannah_grace2009

                            You might not care, but I try to maintain a fairly equal ratio of male MCs to female MCs in a book. This shouldn’t be the deciding factor, but consider that adding Liv as a MC would give you a 2 to 4 ratio (double the amount of female characters to male), whereas you currently have as even a ratio as possible with 2 to 3.

                            Obviously, you might not care and it shouldn’t matter too much, but I thought I’d mention it.

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                            #159534
                            TheArcaneAxiom
                            @thearcaneaxiom
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                              @savannah_grace2009

                              Yeah, I agree with the majority of what Jonas already said. Although I think smaller stories can have many prospective, but it has to be done right. I could think of a few examples, though most are more contemporary, but I’m sure there’s many fantastical. I think a cast of 5 or 6 is a fair enough amount that won’t be overbearing for the readers, but you definitely want a “more” main character/s out of that set. I also agree that you can totally have as many side prospective as you want as long as the readers get that this is a side view, and it’s a part of the story structure. You’ve already done this to a degree with your first handful of chapters up to 4.


                              @jonas

                              …in Stormlight, which will be 5 books long…

                              Did Sanderson change his mind recently? It’s always been planned to be 10 books long.

                              He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

                              #159537
                              Cloaked Mystery
                              @jonas
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                                @thearcaneaxiom

                                Yes, SA is still going to be 10, but it’s split into two sequences starring different characters, with 10-15 year gap between.

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                                #159541
                                Cloaked Mystery
                                @jonas
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                                  [Deleted]

                                  • This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by Cloaked Mystery. Reason: Wrong forum

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