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Ok guys. My villain needs some help. Or rather, I, as his author, need some help. I need to decide on his evil title and part of his motivation.
First, some background on him: (Warning: There are a few spoilers. Read at your own risk.) (Another Warning: I do mention murder a few times.)
Derek Len desired peace. It was all he wanted. All he asked for. Then why was it so hard to achieve? There was always fighting, bickering, and even wars in his nation of Aletheia. He was only a freshman in college when both his parents were killed. (I’m not sure how they died yet or by whom. Something to do with either a war or not having peace.) Derek was enraged. How could anyone do such a thing? He grew bitter against those who murdered his parents. Both he and his younger brother Bayron desired peace. When Derek was 22 and Bayron was 20, they decided they had to do something to achieve worldwide peace, starting with their own nation. Bayron explained his purpose behind his desire to institute the Orb, a technological wonder, created using ancient Aletheian powers which had not been successfully harnessed in centuries. (Sorry for not giving a bunch of info. I don’t want to spoil everything. XD) Derek didn’t believe that was the way to go. So Derek stepped out of the way. He let his brother do his thing. Derek had other plans.
The Orb was soon put in place. But it didn’t function the way Bayron wanted it to. The Orb slowly closed in on the nation of Aletheia. Oh, Derek would make sure of that. Soon enough, land was outside of the Orb. Derek took control of it and the people who lived in it. He started a plan for nationwide peace. And it slowly, but surely, worked! Derek kept the people under his control and everything was working the way he wanted it to. He knew the Orb wouldn’t work. There was even more strife and division inside of it.
The only thing that disturbed his peace were the insiders. When they escaped the Orb, they tried to reform the world outside of it. They started to change the people’s thinking. So Derek took care of them by creating a Center where they would be taught how to think and act, in order to keep the peace he had worked so hard to achieve.
When a specific group of insiders escape the Orb, Derek takes an immediate disliking to them. They’re different. They don’t conform as easily… they don’t crumble as easily… they were much stronger than he was used to. But Derek would make sure that they would be under his control, just like everyone else, despite their attempts at reform. He hates them even more when he finds out that two of them assisted in the the coup of his brother. There was no way they would escape his grasp. They would be crushed under his heel if they refused to conform. No one… no one would take away his peace…
So that gives you some insight into his motivations. As for his personality, he is: smart, cunning, suave (of course), manipulative, and (to the misfortune of my protagonists) doesn’t give up easily.
Now for the actual reason for this post. *whew* (Kudos to you if you’ve stuck around this long. 😂)
I need to figure out two things:
1. I need to figure out how Len’s parents died. And, if the people who killed them should show up again. This kinda ties into his arc. Len may have a redemption arc after he goes through his disillusionment arc… but I’m not sure yet. (That’s because some else has a negative arc… 😐)
2. I also need to figure out his title, what his is called by his people. I was thinking people just call him by his last name, like a lot of Americans call the president of US, but now I may change my mind. I’m not sure if people should call him one name, like the Overseer from the Wingfeather Saga. Examples: Dominus (I’m leaning towards this one), the Reprimor (reprimo in Latin means: restrain, repress, check, curb, press back, control) I like to go with words in Latin and/or maybe Greek for naming stuff.
If you read all this, thank you so much! You deserve an award for reading through this whole rant. Here is your trophy: 🏆
🤣
Tags!
@freedomwriter76 @godlyfantasy12 @lightoverdarkness6 @princesachronicle22 @thearcaneaxiom @mineralizedwritings @gwyndalf-the-wise @acancello @kyronthearcanin @euodia-vision @sarafini @keilah-h @booksbyjayna @whalekeeper @felicity @folith-feolin @otherworldlyhistorian @anyone-else 🙂
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Here is his moodboard just because. 😜
(He also struggles with grief over the loss of his family)
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Len’s parents could have been involved in some kind of dangerous or just forbidden movement, but I’m not sure exactly how that would fit into your plot. Or maybe they were killed by members of that movement/society. If they were members of the society, then Len’s redemption arc could have something to do with figuring that out, and choosing to be a part of that group?
As for the motivation, there could be some kind of a mentor who encourages Len in his actions, maybe someone who would want to take over by tricking Len. Then in the redemption arc, when Len goes to become a member of the movement, the mentor could take over and bring conflict. Part of his arc could be freeing the people from the mentor with the help of the society.
One name could make it easier to follow, but you could also have people from different areas call him by different names. Here are some random ideas: Dolus (meaning deceit. Could be that they view him as a traitor), Metis (meaning cunning), Abaddon (meaning ruin or destruction. Apparently also a demon from the Bible? idk), and Cain (meaning war-like, could also be a reference to the Cain from the Bible… Depends on how your worldbuilding works.
I hope this helps!
You can make anything by writing - C. S. Lewis
First off, I like your plot. It’s unique and intriguing. 😃
1. I don’t know if Len’s parents are particularly involved with the war, but if they are, you could have them assassinated by the other side. Another option is they were on a dangerous mission and it backfired, leading to their death. (I’m sorry, these are rather dark endings.)
2. I like Dominus; it fits him. Another option is to play off the Greek word Dunamis. It means power, potential, or ability.
That’s all! I hope that helps.
This girl is armed with books, coffee, and writing accoutrements!
Len’s parents could have been involved in some kind of dangerous or just forbidden movement, but I’m not sure exactly how that would fit into your plot. Or maybe they were killed by members of that movement/society. If they were members of the society, then Len’s redemption arc could have something to do with figuring that out, and choosing to be a part of that group?
Ok, I see what you’re saying. I want the reason they were killed to be a little more personal to Len. I’m not sure how that would look though. But you’re giving me some ideas… 😏
As for the motivation, there could be some kind of a mentor who encourages Len in his actions, maybe someone who would want to take over by tricking Len. Then in the redemption arc, when Len goes to become a member of the movement, the mentor could take over and bring conflict. Part of his arc could be freeing the people from the mentor with the help of the society.
Oooh. Not a bad idea. I know that all Len wants is peace. Which can never be achieved, for we are sinful humans. He has to learn that, and he will, just the hard way. It’s a matter of if he’ll accept it or not. Giving Len someone he admires is actually a really good idea. I don’t want the mentor to take over though, because Len is the villain throughout the whole trilogy. Now my wheels are turning…
One name could make it easier to follow, but you could also have people from different areas call him by different names. Here are some random ideas: Dolus (meaning deceit. Could be that they view him as a traitor), Metis (meaning cunning), Abaddon (meaning ruin or destruction. Apparently also a demon from the Bible? idk), and Cain (meaning war-like, could also be a reference to the Cain from the Bible… Depends on how your worldbuilding works.
I like some of those. Thx!
Thank you so much for the help!! You’ve given me lots of ideas!! 😄
First off, I like your plot. It’s unique and intriguing. 😃
Thanks so much!! 😊
1. I don’t know if Len’s parents are particularly involved with the war, but if they are, you could have them assassinated by the other side. Another option is they were on a dangerous mission and it backfired, leading to their death. (I’m sorry, these are rather dark endings.)
That’s a good idea! (To be clear, there is actually no war going on now when the story takes place. You may have already known, that, I just wanted to make it clear. 🙂 ) But I know it will definitely have something to do with the war, whatever the war is about. 😅
2. I like Dominus; it fits him. Another option is to play off the Greek word Dunamis. It means power, potential, or ability.
Ok, thanks!!
Thanks for the help!! 😄
@everyone
I forgot to mention that Len does have an understanding of God. He doesn’t believe He exists until later on in the trilogy. Then, he questions why a God that the protagonists claim gives unsurpassable peace and is so good and loving, would let bad things like death, war, and strife. (Just so you know. 🙂 )
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Oooooh I really like this @esther-c! I’m struggling with my villain at the moment so I don’t know how much help I’ll be. XD
Buuuut as far as the first question goes… you could have his parents killed for seeking peace? But Len doesn’t know that they were seeking peace, just that their “enemy”, whoever that may be didn’t like their motives? (I’m trying to figure out how to explain what I’m picturing XD) But like, all Derek wants is peace throughout the story, but the wrong kind of peace? But in the end, he realizes his parents were killed for wanting the right kind of peace. Hope that made sense. 😂
And for your second question, I like Dominus. Reminds me of The Chosen, which is the only pushback I have for it since it’s not unique? I’ve never seen anyone use Reprimor so my leaning would this one.
So there are my messy thoughts. XD
I rolled the log over and underneath was a tiny little stick and I was like, "That log had a child
I’m gonna come back with suggestions later but what happened to Byron???"...I did not say to the seed of Jacob, 'Seek Me in vain..."
(Part of) Isaiah 45:19Personally for tour first question I think it would be best if the Len’s parents dying was not a specific target but rather the byproduct of violence. I feel like this would benefit him more. Also making him come from a more humble background could be useful. I feel like he doesn’t need an adversary group because it is better if he is fighting the fundamental concept of violence.
Personally I don’t know how much a redemption ark will do as it may be better to leave him trapped in a misguided belief that he can fix things. However I think this really comes down to his level of machevelianism.
As for the second question I would give him a title but not replace his name with it. Just add it on. Like President Lin, Primer Lin, Emperor, Lin, General Lin, [fill in blank] Lin.
Through darkness,
light shines brightestI really like how you’re not afraid to tackle the big questions, like how to deal with violence and how can a loving God allow evil things to happen.
Maybe some “bad guys” snuck poison into the parent’s food, and Derek was the one that unknowingly brought it to them? Then he figures out what happened and feels really guilty about it, and super angry at the “bad guys”? Just my random thoughts on how it could be a little more personal.
I like Reprimor Len. It’s creative.
Keep up the good work, Esther!!
He must increase, but I must decrease.
Buuuut as far as the first question goes… you could have his parents killed for seeking peace? But Len doesn’t know that they were seeking peace, just that their “enemy”, whoever that may be didn’t like their motives? (I’m trying to figure out how to explain what I’m picturing XD) But like, all Derek wants is peace throughout the story, but the wrong kind of peace? But in the end, he realizes his parents were killed for wanting the right kind of peace. Hope that made sense. 😂
No, I understand what you’re saying. 🙂 Yeah, so Derek is looking for the wrong peace in all the wrong places. He’s got to grasp the concept that worldwide or nationwide peace can’t be fully achieved because of our sin nature. What he really needs is God’s peace and His love.
And for your second question, I like Dominus. Reminds me of The Chosen, which is the only pushback I have for it since it’s not unique? I’ve never seen anyone use Reprimor so my leaning would this one.
Yeah. I liked Dominus, and then I was like “Wellll… it reminds me too much of The Chosen.” Which is not a bad thing, cuz they really did use that term in history, but I see what you mean.
So there are my messy thoughts. XD
Thank you for them!! 😄
I’m gonna come back with suggestions later but what happened to Byron???
Hehehe… 😏
He dies. XD That’s really all there is to it. He controlled Aletheia inside the Orb, and a rebel group finally killed him. Obviously there’s the whole thing where he hands Ami the medallion and says his last words. (Which I think you’ve read that part.) So yeah. He dies. XD
@otherwordlyhistorian
Personally for tour first question I think it would be best if the Len’s parents dying was not a specific target but rather the byproduct of violence. I feel like this would benefit him more. Also making him come from a more humble background could be useful. I feel like he doesn’t need an adversary group because it is better if he is fighting the fundamental concept of violence.
Yeah, that’s a good idea! That’s kinda where my thoughts were headed.
Personally I don’t know how much a redemption ark will do as it may be better to leave him trapped in a misguided belief that he can fix things. However I think this really comes down to his level of machevelianism.
Oh ok. I never really thought of it that way before.
As for the second question I would give him a title but not replace his name with it. Just add it on. Like President Lin, Primer Lin, Emperor, Lin, General Lin, [fill in blank] Lin.
Yep. That seems to be how it’s going to end up. (But nothing’s certain)
I really like how you’re not afraid to tackle the big questions, like how to deal with violence and how can a loving God allow evil things to happen.
Thanks! Yeah, big questions need to be handled. Especially ones like these, that are always being asked.
Maybe some “bad guys” snuck poison into the parent’s food, and Derek was the one that unknowingly brought it to them? Then he figures out what happened and feels really guilty about it, and super angry at the “bad guys”? Just my random thoughts on how it could be a little more personal.
That’s a good idea!
I like Reprimor Len. It’s creative.
Ok! Thanks!
Keep up the good work, Esther!!
I definitely will!! 😊 Thanks for the help!! 😄
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Thanks for the trophy! XD
A few questions. Is this earth, or a different planet with a similar history. Did you give the nation the name Aletheia out of irony? Aletheia means truthful and revealing, but it’s a nation that has been trapped by the Orb, closed off, hidden, within a lie. Perhaps for those that come out of the Orb to be true Aletheians, revealing the truth?
What are the different ideologies of the two brothers for peace? Do they lean for an extreme justice, extreme mercy, extreme justice in the name of mercy? I’m assuming your thinking of socialist/communist philosophies, which in most cases would be extreme justice systems. I think knowing this might help work out what happened specifically happened to their parents, and who did it, which led the brothers to gain those ideologies specifically, other than just world peace. Also, this may help with your other other question. Does he want to give off the idea that he’s in charge, and no one can change or challenge that, like the LordRuler, or does he want to suggest that he is a friendly peacemaker, like Big Brother, there to help the people follow (his version of) right and wrong?
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
Thanks for the trophy! XD
You earned it. 😉 😂
A few questions. Is this earth, or a different planet with a similar history. Did you give the nation the name Aletheia out of irony? Aletheia means truthful and revealing, but it’s a nation that has been trapped by the Orb, closed off, hidden, within a lie. Perhaps for those that come out of the Orb to be true Aletheians, revealing the truth?
I’m not entirely sure if it is earth or not. The genre is dystopian, so it is similar to our world/America. I haven’t quite gotten to a point where it must be identified as earth or another planet, so I’m still deciding on that.
I did name it Aletheia on purpose. 😉 Aletheia was founded on truth and on God’s Word, similar to America. But it became corrupted. They became too comfortable in economic prosperity and military strength and forgot God. (If you want a long summary of its history, I can post it.)
Most of the Aletheians that come out of the Orb are seeking freedom from Bayron Len’s ruling. Outside the Orb is much better economically, but the people don’t care as much about the government and morals. They just conform to Derek Len’s standards so they can live comfortably. There are some Aletheians, though, that see the wrong and desire to change it. They just don’t do anything about it and keep themselves hidden because of their fear. My MCs and their group are the ones who end up slowly bringing them out of hiding.
What are the different ideologies of the two brothers for peace? Do they lean for an extreme justice, extreme mercy, extreme justice in the name of mercy? I’m assuming your thinking of socialist/communist philosophies, which in most cases would be extreme justice systems. I think knowing this might help work out what happened specifically happened to their parents, and who did it, which led the brothers to gain those ideologies specifically, other than just world peace. Also, this may help with your other other question. Does he want to give off the idea that he’s in charge, and no one can change or challenge that, like the LordRuler, or does he want to suggest that he is a friendly peacemaker, like Big Brother, there to help the people follow (his version of) right and wrong?
(I will warn you, my answer hints at spoilers later on)
So, Bayron wants to get peace by avoiding the bad and simply ignoring it. Derek acknowledges it, but he tried to abolish it. And when I say bad, I mean violence and wars. This that disrupt national peace. Derek does all he can to keep peace. For example, when my MCs do something seemingly “against the law”, they don’t get a trial because Derek claims it will only cause more strife and division among people. (Yeah… his worldview is twisted. 😅)
Derek took over the land outside of the Orb very easily, much like Adolf Hitler did. The people were hurting, and he offered a way out. And the way out of their failing economy actually worked. But because the people loved him, he kept the power he had and promised the people peace. Many are not aware of what goes on behind the scenes in the government because Derek is a tyrant. In all honesty, most of his citizens only like him out of fear, while some do like him and think he can fix all their problems. It’s very much humanistic. Some of Derek’s most faithful followers think he is divine. While they don’t worship him by bowing down and making sacrifices and such, they worship him by idolizing him. He just accepts it. He claims he is one of them, and “tries” to show that he is equal to the people, but he really doesn’t believe that. He only says it to get the people to accept him even more.
I honestly think this is his way of feeling loved and important. His parents expected a lot of him, so he tried to reach their standards. When he became a leader of Aletheia outside the Orb, he thought that he had achieved something great. Something that his parents would be proud of. I believe that he loved his parents more than they actually loved him. This is why he can relate to Everton so much. Ev’s father was overly strict and Ev tried so hard to reach his expectations. When he didn’t, he felt like a failure. (Reasons behind Ev’s father’s strictness is a whole other topic. XD)
Anyway…
I think that answered your question. XD
(And it helped me delve deeper into Len’s character and backstory. I actually made some of that up on the spot. 😂)
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Woah…
I think I’m a true Keeper now…
I have ranted multiple times. 🤣
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
@esther-c I know nothing about dystopia, and it looks like you’re getting some good answers already. But one thing I would suggest regarding Len’s title is to take a look at other books in your genre and see what the standard practice seems to be. If fans of dystopia are used to this type of character having a title, they’ll probably expect it. If they aren’t, the extra name may be confusing (and multiple extra titles even more so). Just something to consider.
Jayna Baas
Christian Author/Editor
www.booksbyjayna.comWoah…
I think I’m a true Keeper now…
I have ranted multiple times. 🤣
Bwahaha! We shall turn everyone here into true unapologetic ranters!
I did name it Aletheia on purpose. 😉 Aletheia was founded on truth and on God’s Word, similar to America. But it became corrupted. They became too comfortable in economic prosperity and military strength and forgot God. (If you want a long summary of its history, I can post it.)
Cool! Very nice allegories!
So, Bayron wants to get peace by avoiding the bad and simply ignoring it. Derek acknowledges it, but he tried to abolish it. And when I say bad, I mean violence and wars. This that disrupt national peace. Derek does all he can to keep peace. For example, when my MCs do something seemingly “against the law”, they don’t get a trial because Derek claims it will only cause more strife and division among people. (Yeah… his worldview is twisted. 😅)
Ok, so I’m still a little lost as to how he handles things. Is he some kind of mix between anarchist and socialist? He wants the people to be undivided, and show himself as one of them, but no enforcement of law? Unless your suggesting that he doesn’t do trials, but takes care of the offenders silently instead?
Ok, so if his parents were the perfectionist types, turning Derek into a perfectionist, making him feel like a failure, then could that perhaps be correlated at least to him, to their deaths? He sees his parents perhaps in conflict with some other group or individual, then he not liking the conflict, tries to intervene. He tries to play the role of peacemaker, tries to be enough to help his parents, but either it didn’t work, or it strait up backfires. The other party kills his parents, leaves him behind. He failed, he could feel the disappointment of his parents, and obviously just feeling the loss of them as well, but he failed them as a peacemaker, thus, he promises himself that he would make it up to them, he would be perfect, and he would become the ultimate keeper of peace. That’s just the narrative my mind creates, but I don’t know.
So maybe he would want a friendlier name to appear their equal? Isos in greek is equal, and friend in latin is Amica, Otium in latin means peace, and in greek it’s Erini. Something along those lines I think would make sense for his personal narrative, but likely many of his followers would give more domineering, and worshipful names to him.
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
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