My Current WIP (badly in need of a title!)

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  • #158792
    Brianne
    @spinner4him
      • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
      • Total Posts: 34

      Hey y’all! I’m relatively new here, but I thought I’d share my WIP because it’s aching for feedback XD.

      I’ve written the first six chapters, and am working away at it (albeit quite slowly, unfortunately).

      Here’s the blurb; suggestions are very welcome!!!

      ____________________

      A lost heir. Six friends. An unkillable witch. Intriguing secrets that should’ve been revealed long ago. A journey that will change the lives of everyone it touches.

      Lisle Weft, a fifteen-year-old girl growing up in the quiet, isolated village of Songweed, located near the Acavian Sea to the west of Ilabathi (ill-ah-BAH-thee) has lived most of her life under the tyrannical rule of Nimione (neh-MI-ah-nee), the witch-queen who seems to have come out of nowhere. Nimione enslaves the free people of Ilabathi, turning them into soulless soldiers for her army, called Soulless Ones by the Ilabathians. One day, at school, Lisle and four of her friends are chosen as helpers for the army. As they learn more about what Nimione is doing to the world, they decide to take matters into their own hands and set out on a journey.

      Can the children, along with a young soldier they meet at the battle camp, face Nimione and stop their world from complete decay?

      ____________________

      And there you have it. Again, please don’t hesitate to comment on anything!

      “You’re heavier than you look.”
      “It’s all brains and muscle.”

      #158793
      Brianne
      @spinner4him
        • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
        • Total Posts: 34
        #158794
        Sara
        @savannah_grace2009
          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
          • Total Posts: 1980

          @spinner4him

          Sounds great!

          Lukas&Livia
          #Lalbert
          Sef&Chase
          #HOTTOLINE
          LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333

          #158797
          KydonAndWillow
          @kydonandwillow
            • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
            • Total Posts: 39

            I love it! It is always hard at first, I wrote the first few chapters, of my WIP got stuck, rewrote them multiple times, and then wrote the end.

            #158799
            RAE
            @rae
              • Rank: Chosen One
              • Total Posts: 3003

              @spinner4him

              Titles:

              The Witch-queen

              For Home

              Ninione’s Curse

              The Price of Life

              Songweed’s Salvation (Note: I like the town name:))

              The Fellowship of Six

               

               

              What’s the lost heir about?

              Alpha: "It's not Nar's cooking, is it?"
              Nae: "Would I try to poison you?"

              #158807
              TheArcaneAxiom
              @thearcaneaxiom
                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                • Total Posts: 1250

                @spinner4him

                Cool! What happens to the souls of the soulless ones? Do they simply die, the bodies simply reanimated, and the souls go to where ever souls go after death, or something more sinister?

                The right title I think will come with time. As you develop the story, the name will develop with it. Regardless, here’s a few ideas:

                If you want to sound a little old school, you could do something like:

                A Lost Heir, Six Friends, and the Unkillable Witch

                Some more contemporary titles:

                Redemption of Ilabathi

                The Soul of Tyrrany

                The Will-less Army

                A Soldier’s Will

                Can’t wait to hear more!

                 

                 

                He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

                #158809
                Brianne
                @spinner4him
                  • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                  • Total Posts: 34

                  @rae and @thearcaneaxiom

                  Thanks for the title suggestions! @thearcaneaxiom You’re probably right, it’s just irritating not having something to call it. I’m horrible at titles.

                  I don’t exactly know what happens to the souls of the Soulless Ones; probably just that they are so devoid of life and hope that it seems like they are soulless.

                  “You’re heavier than you look.”
                  “It’s all brains and muscle.”

                  #158810
                  TheArcaneAxiom
                  @thearcaneaxiom
                    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                    • Total Posts: 1250

                    @spinner4him

                    So it isn’t literal then? They are still cognitively present, simply robbed of all real sense of will and individuality. That’s always a fun theme to explore. I enjoy the discussions and themes of things that destroy will, especially will that is freely given away.

                    He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

                    #158811
                    Brianne
                    @spinner4him
                      • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                      • Total Posts: 34

                      @thearcaneaxiom

                      Yeah, that’s a pretty good explanation for it.

                      “You’re heavier than you look.”
                      “It’s all brains and muscle.”

                      #158830
                      Sara
                      @savannah_grace2009
                        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                        • Total Posts: 1980

                        @spinner4him

                        I struggle with titles a lot too!

                        I usually just wait until the title comes to me (after all, the story’s more important than the title), and sometimes I have a temporary title until I can come up with a good one. I would say don’t rush it, because if you’re anything like me, it’s a distraction from your actual project and you’ll just frustrate yourself, haha.

                        I like this idea!

                        Lukas&Livia
                        #Lalbert
                        Sef&Chase
                        #HOTTOLINE
                        LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333

                        #158839
                        Brianne
                        @spinner4him
                          • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                          • Total Posts: 34

                          @savannah_grace2009

                          Thanks!

                          “You’re heavier than you look.”
                          “It’s all brains and muscle.”

                          #158886
                          Esther
                          @esther-c
                            • Rank: Chosen One
                            • Total Posts: 3205

                            @spinner4him

                            It sounds really interesting! I’d think I’d have to know a little bit more to make any suggestions, since this is just the blurb, but it sounds awesome!

                            As for title ideas… I have no idea. XD The others’ suggestions are good. I’m terrible at coming up with titles. 😂

                            Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende

                            #159123
                            Brianne
                            @spinner4him
                              • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                              • Total Posts: 34

                              @esther-c

                              Thanks! Yeah, I totally get that. I’m hopefully going to post Chapter One soon.

                              “You’re heavier than you look.”
                              “It’s all brains and muscle.”

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