- This topic has 532 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 5 months, 3 weeks ago by
.
-
Posts
-
@koshka @keilah-h @elishavet-pidyon @theducktator @grcr @whalekeeper @power @hybridlore
https://www.canva.com/design/DAGuAVE7PaQ/4KIWD55hnQgjjGPiF3wgPQ/view?utm _content=DAGuAVE7PaQ&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link2&utm_source=uniquelinks&utlId=h5f88a665a1
I made some edits on the cover after some of the feedback I got.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
@ellette-giselle yep, pretty real to me lol
I might try it! If I can find a place to get the song.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
The cover looks really cool! Who designed the image? Was that you?
I wanted to add that the description on the back looked good, but the last paragraph didn’t give us much hope, if that makes sense. Most of the time in descriptions like that you’ll see something that leaves the reader guessing whether or not something is going to happen—usually whether the main character will survive or whether things will turn out for good. You don’t have that there, which I think removes some of the anticipation and excitement that the reader would want.
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C.S.L.
hmmm. What do you think of Me just removing the last paragraph completely? Would that be enough?
yes, I designed all of it.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
Nice! You hyphenated firstborn though, which is one word.
?For our Blessed Lady's sake, bring us in good ale!?
Characters:
~Which character(s) did you find the most compelling/relatable/believable and why?
I thought all of them were. I guess Jonathan would be most interesting though.
~ Were there any character that need to be more engaging? If so, how would be some good ways for me to do that?
I always forget about Brian. He should show up a little more near the beginning of that section.
~Were the characters believable?
Yes
~ Were there any characters you wanted to see more of?
Don…?
~was Jonathan an interesting character, despite several irritating faults?
Yes
~did the characters have good, strong motivations?
Yes
~did the characters who died have completed arcs?
Yes
~Can you easily describe in a few sentences what roll each of the team members filled and their different personalities? (Michael, Amber, Jonathan, Ron, Evan, Jason, Brian)
Michael: Captain and protective older brother.
Amber: Cinnamon roll/computer girl/peacemaker
Jonathan: MC, new guy, computer man
Ron: Sniper, Mr. Nice Guy
Evan: Pilot, Benny from the LEGO movie but with planes instead of space ships. The best character.
Jason: Mad scientist/nerd
Brian: Maps
Note: Please keep in mind that I can’t fully develop every character within the story, otherwise there wouldn’t be enough spotlight on my MC. My MC is Jonathan.
Storyline:
~ Was the plot solid?
Yes
~ Did the pacing feel consistent throughout the book? If not, where did it lag or feel dull?
Yes
~Was there anything that seemed unbelievable or forced?
No
~ Were there any plot twists or surprises that stood out to you?
I think I’m the only one who thought for sure that 314 was actually dead, so the fact that he was Michael was shocking.
~looking back, does it make sense that Michael was 314? Or did that feel forced?
It makes sense.
~ Was the ending fitting and satisfying? (As much as a book 1 ending can be.)
Yes
~ Were any parts of the story confusing or difficult to follow?
No
~ Were there any unresolved plot threads you wish had been dealt with in this book?
No
~are there any unresolved plot threads I need to make sure to wrap up in the next book?
The epilogue, but I’m sure you already plan to do that.
~ Was the balance between action, dialogue and description smooth in the story?
There are some spots you need a bit more description.
~any scenes you would want cut?
No
~any scenes you would want lengthened?
No
Theology/Message:
~ Any theological concerns for the story?
I’m still not comfortable with the fact he took communion before he was baptized.
~ What would you say my world view was?
Christian
~ What would you say was the message of the story?
I’m not sure…I’ve never been good at picking out messages.
~Were the characters’ struggles dealt with effectively?
Yes
~What are some of the most noticeable political/modern-world-of-today stabs you noticed? ?
The public school system.
Extra:
~ What was your favorite part of the book overall? Why?
Evan and Jason’s interactions were hilarious. I also loved the scene where Jonathan came to God, and when he found out that Michael was 314.
~What was your least favorite part? (From a reader’s perspective) why?
Don dying. I loved him.
~Who was your top favorite character? Why?
Evan. He’s just so lovable.
~other favorite characters or honorable mentions?
Don, even though I didn’t get to know him very well because you killed him.
~Who was your least favorite? (if you have one) Why?
Whoever that slubberdegullion in charge of this government is.
~Is there anything that you would say needs to be changed?
Nothing that hasn’t been mentioned above.
~ What would you say the target audience of this book would be?
Teens
~ Any other thoughts
DON’T KILL EVAN. I BEG YOU.
?For our Blessed Lady's sake, bring us in good ale!?
Aha, thank you. Fixed that.
Thank you so much for the feedback!!!!
DON’T KILL EVAN. I BEG YOU.
Oh how tantalizing this sounds…….. it would be such a sad death scene……………..
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
*reading the questions and ducktator’s answers*
*has not finished reading the book yet* (sorry, btw)
~looking back, does it make sense that Michael was 314? Or did that feel forced?
…
wait, what…
WAIT WAT?!
*regrets reading questions*
wa wawawa waaaa
don’t encourage me.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
*Gaspeth!!!*
What have you done!!!
?
Well, there goes that. XD
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
Do you want feedback on here or through gmail? (Either’s fine)
I am out of signature ideas
On here works great!
Also, any thoughts on the book cover?
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
K!
It looks good! The blurb size and length seems right, too.
I am out of signature ideas
Someone suggested I cut the last section of the blurb and leave it with the part about Jonathan’s friendship because it has more of a cliffhanger. What do you think?
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.