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SO! I could use some tips and help plz!!
In my current WIP, I’ve an antagonist named Ridley who ends up being the murderer (plot twist). The reason this is a plot twist is because he is actually in love with Jocelyn and she with him (it’s one of those they aren’t technically boyfriend and girlfriend but may as well be things). He’s really sweet and protective of her and tries to help prove her innocence by framing others (because he never meant for her to get caught in the middle but it happened anyway)
Okay maybe I should back it up some XD.
I need some help with making this character more believable and likable while still hinting at his dark nature, and slowly showing the shift from sweet good, reliable guy to power hungry madman….which is tough in one book to say the least.
Ridley was orphaned as a little boy, and his only memories of life before Cirque are those of an abusive father and a mother who never wanted him. After they abandoned him he was picked up by Zolten, Lyn’s Uncle and brought to Cirque. Not being a true Cirquian and being so young, Ridley didn’t have a specific talent and so was made kinda what we would call a Carny, someone who just works there. He helps everyone out with their shows, and can be the errand boy as well.
While he was treated well by Lyn and her entire family, he did find himself picked on and looked down on by other Cirquians, and he always felt abandoned and rejected, like he didn’t have a place.
When he was still a child, a horrible event happened, killing some of the Cirquians including Lyn’s parents. It was then that Ridley was first introduced to Eder (The overarching big villain of the series) in the form of a shadow, who spoke to the little boy of power beyond anything he had imagined. Wanting to be accepted and have a place, young Ridley was obviously intrigued but still too small too truly understand, but the seeds were planted.
Long story short, as he grew he kept being visited by Eder, though sometimes months and years would go by without any mention, until eventually he was introduced to Eder’s “servant” Corvina, who gave Ridley the amulet that had caused the disaster years prior. He kept it hidden but it’s dark power slowly began to overtake his mind.
Zolten began to notice something was up, but he kept Lyn oblivious because he’d always protected her, because even before any of this Cirque had some dark secrets he didn’t want her exposed to.
Discovering it was Ridley who now had the cursed amulet, he confronted Ridley, who then kept his distance from him, until he decided it was time to have a discussion with Zolten.
The two talked and it resulted in a very bitter argument in which Ridley, in the moment of anger and with the medallion seeping into him, stabbed Zolten, resulting In his death.
These are events that take place during the book but are not actually detailed in the book. Eventually I’ll probably make a short series about all the villains because that would be cool, but for now I need to be able to get things across using little quirks, talk and other things.
Now that you’ve got some backstory, maybe you can help me know a bit of how to make his descent from good guy to madman believable, and still make it believable that he does love Lyn, just…well he isn’t thinking right at all.
That was super long, but any ideas? lol
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@gracie-j @devastate-lasting @issawriter7 @mkfairygirl @sparksaraabbott11 @maryg3 @writerlexi1216 @nova21 @scripter-of-kingdoms @jenwriter17 @godlyfantasy12 @keilah-h @elfwing @iluvhim18 @kathleenramm @seekjustice @e-k-seaver @faith-q @daisy-torres @lewilliams @jodi-maile @kayleigh-idea @relia @anatra23
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@godlyfantasy12 Hmm…well, first of all, I think you’ve already established his believablity (yeah, that’s not a word *shrugs*) by giving him such a great backstory. At the same time, you’ve made him pretty likable/relatable, since he’s been through such a tough time. I can personally see him really loving Lyn (in some twisted way), since she was probably his only friend when he was younger (right?). No problem there.
Hmm…
Sounds like your only problem is just transitioning from good guy to bad boy, right? My first suggestion would be to watch movies with seemingly good guys who are revealed to be bad (and I can’t think of a single example…help!). Like, I just recently re-watched the first Thor movie, and in the very beginning, Loki seems like the perfect baby brother, right? There’s definitely some animosity between him and Thor, but that’s to be expected – plus, he’s Loki. He’s great at making himself look good. XD If you were to pause the movie right before he’s revealed as thoroughly evil, you could come up with some believable reasons as to how/why he could be a bad guy – minus being a Frost Giant and all that.
Make sense?
For legitimate, normal, everyday reasons, Loki could be the bad guy. Same goes for any other person, you know?
Anyway, watch some movies/shows and make a note of how they act before and after the “big reveal.” (Just…don’t watch Agents of Shield. Ward’s transition from good to bad was just horribly written. *sighs*) Or even read some books (or think back to ones you’ve read) and see how those good-to-bad characters are written.
They’re going to have their moments. Maybe someone says something and they snap back at them in a way that was just too harsh. Maybe they get too overprotective or too closed-off or too offensive. Stuff like that would seem inconsequential if it were just once or twice on a bad day, but maybe Ridley takes it overboard or has way too many bad days. Now we’ve got something.
Anyway, I know that made absolutely no sense whatsoever and probably wasn’t any help. So let me sum up: keep your focus on the small stuff – not the big things – because all it takes is a few well-placed quirks, comments, or bad days to hint at his dark side. Otherwise, he sounds like he has a lot of good qualities you can highlight (or diminish) at any time!
Seriously, though, you’ve really got a great basis from what you’ve told me, so it all depends on how you execute it and WAIT. I had a thought. Will you be including Ridley’s POV?
the resident romance ghost; last seen within the pages of a gothic novel
@gracie-j Thank you! As for his POV, no, and that’s some of the issue. How do I get enough of his backstory across thru dialogue and others insight without info dumping and being overly obvious? But thanks glad everything sounds good)
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@godly-fantasy12 well… it’s good from what you’ve described and I agree with @gracie-j
Anyways, I’m no expert by any means, but here are things I’ve used for my antagonist
1: moments of vulnerability where he’s honest with the girl he loves; a good relationship whether close friendship or romance requires honesty and vulnerability on both sides.
(So maybe have scenes with him being open with Jocelyn at first, but then he becomes less open to talking and more blunt and even rude and not wanting to talk about himself except to wander in thoughts of power.)2: show he cares about people; have him help someone, or do something caring, and show his gentle/fun side but then have later scenes with him being silent and brooding and it taking a few times to get his attention, then when they do he is annoyed, or in a strange mood.
3: scenes with his anger showing at some judgment passed or the way someone was treating someone else, or the rules established that he doesn’t think are fair…
4: give him moments of what if.
here’s some examples that came to mind and you totally don’t have to use them, but just to start some ideas if you need ’em; “what if I’d been strong enough to save Lyn’s parents? what if I could change these rules and get even? what if I was strong enough to get people not to pick on me? what if I was an equal? what if Eder could help me become strong now so I can be the leader and do things right? what if I can’t protect Jocelyn because I’m not strong enough?”sorry if I’m not helpful
I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title
sorry it keeps eating my reply, so if you get like, five responses you can blame the website i guess? XD
@godlyfantasy12 well… it’s good from what you’ve described and I agree with @gracie-jAnyways, I’m no expert by any means, but here are things I’ve used for my antagonist
1: moments of vulnerability where he’s honest with the girl he loves; a good relationship whether close friendship or romance requires honesty and vulnerability on both sides.
(So maybe have scenes with him being open with Jocelyn at first, but then he becomes less open to talking and more blunt and even rude and not wanting to talk about himself except to wander in thoughts of power.)2: show he cares about people; have him help someone, or do something caring, and show his gentle/fun side but then have later scenes with him being silent and brooding and it taking a few times to get his attention, then when they do he is annoyed, or in a strange mood.
3: scenes with his anger showing at some judgment passed or the way someone was treating someone else, or the rules established that he doesn’t think are fair…
4: give him moments of what if.
here’s some examples that came to mind and you totally don’t have to use them, but just to start some ideas if you need ’em; “what if I’d been strong enough to save Lyn’s parents? what if I could change these rules and get even? what if I was strong enough to get people not to pick on me? what if I was an equal? what if Eder could help me become strong now so I can be the leader and do things right? what if I can’t protect Jocelyn because I’m not strong enough?”sorry if I’m not helpful XD
I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title
This guy sounds fascinating! His backstory is awesome, and he sounds like a genuine character. For likeability, you could:
1) Give the MC and Ridley something in common (a hobby, a genre of music, a favorite food, etc)
2) like @elfwing said, moments of vulnerability. That would make the reader open up to him really fast.
3) give him a sense of justice, even if it’s warped, that will make him be someone who’s trying to do the right thing.
And to answer your question for @gracie-j (sorry for stealing your thunder, Grace XD), reveal his backstory bit by bit through memories/nightmares/deja vu in your story. For example, say the MC and Ridley stayed in hotel rooms next to each other and during the night MC jolts awake because Ridlley was yelling or something.
First, let the reader know Ridley is hurting. Second, let the MC probe his mysterious past with confrontational moments and questions, as if the reader himself was asking. After that, always show his past in the scenes, never just tell. Show it in his reactions to things that spark bad memories (e.g. the smell of liquor reminds him of his abusive/drunk father).
I hope this helps, and great story! <33
what we do in life echoes in eternity
-gladiator, 2000@godlyfantasy12 I don’t really have much to say, but I have a couple of movies to suggest for @gracie-j .
1) Knives Out. It’s a murder mystery that came out recently, I’d give it a strong PG-13 for language and stuff, but I really enjoyed watching it.
2) Batman Begins. Mm yes this one doesn’t have that much of a transition but it’s pretty good.
3) Doctor Zhivago. Just watched this yesterday, a lot of feels, a lot of screaming at the screen, but there’s a really good example of a good to bad transition in this one. (*distant sobbing*)
Not gonna lie though but most movies don’t actually do that much of a transition but, like, you can see how they are first likable then evil. Hope this helps!
Lately, it's been on my brain
Would you mind letting me know
If hours don't turn into days@godlyfantasy12 You’re welcome! Ooh, okay, not having his POV actually makes that a little easier, I think, so that way you’re not juggling his POV and how your other characters see him. So I would just focus more on how Ridley presents himself in certain situations and how the other characters see him, depending on their individual bias. Anyway, yeah, what @nova21 said would work marvelously! (Hey, no prob, Ella! XD)
the resident romance ghost; last seen within the pages of a gothic novel
@godlyfantasy12 Interesting! Everyone else has given better suggestions than I could…..so I’d use them.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
@gracie-j What’s your forum signature supposed to mean? Is it from something you made up or something you’ve read/watched/done?
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
@keilah-h Oh! Haha, it’s a little insider joke between me and the late @william-starkey (he’s not really late, though, mind you; I’ve heard recently reports that he’s come back to life…again). We had this thing going about his estate on the cliffs of Oregon and his garden of black roses and chrysanthemums (which you can read about here: kingdompen.org/forums/topic/what-is-your-dream-writing-spot/page/2/ ), so when @will_starke (who adamantly claims to not be Sir Starkey) showed up, I started on about the manor and how I’d purchased it and needed a gardener and…yes…it’s a lot of nonsense, it is. XD
the resident romance ghost; last seen within the pages of a gothic novel
@gracie-j Oh, I see.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
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