Kindly critique this, will you?

Home Page Forums Fiction Writing Critiques Novel Critique Requests Kindly critique this, will you?

Tagged: 

Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #70656
    Ingrid
    @ingridrd
      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
      • Total Posts: 830

      Okay, guys.  I got brave and decided to share the prologue from the first draft of my fantasy novel, Substitute.  Since it’s obviously the opening of the book, I want to know if you guys would keep reading.  And please add grammar mistakes/rewording edits.  I love your advice!!!  🙂

      Here goes nothing…

      https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Lq-iOwj5wRlYc5BqQ2jLY4IAvQxuEbinVzTJzVQkhv4/edit

      And I’ve never really used Google docs before, so could someone tell me how you can let other people suggest?  I think I figured it out, but let me know.


      @jenwriter17
      @epicaddie2 @seekjustice @dekreel @daughteroftheking @that_writer_girl_99 @anyone

       

      A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)

      #70657
      Elizabeth
      @that_writer_girl_99
        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
        • Total Posts: 1819

        Just requested access!!

        Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

        #70658
        EpicAddie2
        @epicaddie2
          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
          • Total Posts: 794

          @dekreel I don’t think you turned the sharing on, just copy and pasted the link. There’s a blue button in the top right corner that says share, and a little thing will pop up where you can add emails to share it with. And right above that (I believe in the top right but I’m not 100% sure) there’s an option to turn link sharing on. Turn it on and it’ll copy the link and turn the sharing options on. 😉

          INFJ ~ 4w5
          aldarley.wordpress.com

          #70660
          Ingrid
          @ingridrd
            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
            • Total Posts: 830

            @epicaddie2  Yep, I think I figured it out now!  Thanks muchly.  🙂

            A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)

            #70661
            EpicAddie2
            @epicaddie2
              • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
              • Total Posts: 794

              @ingridrd I just realized I tagged the wrong person. *facepalm* It was super early in the morning, okay? XD

              I just finished reading it, and it was really good! I would totally continue reading!

              INFJ ~ 4w5
              aldarley.wordpress.com

              #70662
              Elizabeth
              @that_writer_girl_99
                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                • Total Posts: 1819

                Left a few comments under the username DragonFire026. Great start so far, Ingrid!

                Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

                #70664
                Ariel Ashira
                @ariel-ashira
                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                  • Total Posts: 739

                  @ingridrd Oh my goodness!!!  I would totaly keep reading!  How could anyone put a book like that down!?  I want to read the next part!!!

                  Um, yeah, great first chapter!  Makes my first chapter sound as dry as the Sahara.

                  "In a mask, was he?"

                  #70669
                  Jenna Terese
                  @jenwriter17
                    • Rank: Chosen One
                    • Total Posts: 2522

                    @ingridrd Yay! I’ll read it too! I just requested access 🙂

                    I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
                    www.jennaterese.com

                    #70740
                    NC Stokes
                    @daughteroftheking
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1156

                      @ingridrd The suspense! I’m so excited to read about this Jaclyn I’ve heard so much about. I really enjoyed it and would gladly keep reading. One thing, if you could add a little more about what she is feeling during the chapter, that’d be great. I can already get a good feel for the overall mood, which is excellent, (something I’m having trouble mastering myself), and I can imagine how frustrating it must be for Jaclyn to be in that situation, but a smidgen more internal diolouge might be good. I don’t know that for certain, though, you might want to play around with it a little bit. Ana sounds super cool!

                      Blog: https://weridasusual.home.blog/

                      #70748
                      Ingrid
                      @ingridrd
                        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                        • Total Posts: 830

                        @that_writer_girl_99  Thanks for the feedback…very helpful!


                        @ariel-ashira
                          YESS!!! Oh, I’m so glad you liked it!


                        @daughteroftheking
                          Thank you kindly.  And yes, those are some good points.  *strokes chin*

                        A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)

                        #70787
                        Ariella Newheart
                        @ariella-newheart
                          • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                          • Total Posts: 141

                          @ingridrd I really like this! I would definitely keep reading. 😀

                          INFJ. An extroverted introvert who loves to write and draw.

                          *disappears into the shadows*

                        Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
                        • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
                        >