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Ah sorry Idk how to do that! 🤣
The best recommendation I can come up with is to make a list of the plot holes of your story (I have plenty 😅) and try to see if you can think of one solution for multiple at once. I personally really like doing that, and trying to connect characters the reader would never expect to be together, often times I feel like the best things in a story started out as problems or plot holes. Or, just write your favorite scene, even if you aren’t there yet in your story! I often time focus on just one character arc for awhile, and I get burned out of it quickly. So then I just go write whatever I feel like writing! Even if it’s totally out of order, it kinda refreshes my brain to go back. I wish I could give you some of my writing juice! 😂
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
That’s a good idea. I’ll try it. Thanks!
He must increase, but I must decrease.
- Rank: Chosen One
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BE CONFLICTED 😂
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH XD XD XD XD XD
Lol yeah. I think it comes through in my writing who my favorite is 😂
But, I have reasons.
1. Tauren was my first serious OC!
2. He’s sweet 🙂
3. He’s a bit like me in some ways.
3.5 He has awesome hairThat final reason!!! XDXDXDXD Nothing wrong with that! xD
Thanks!! <33
You are soooo welcome!!!! <3333
I am so sorry I’m just now responding!! Thank you for tagging me :). I LOVE IT!!! OMG sweet Tauren and Lesli!!
And Keiryn!! I feel myself wanting to like him, but also, not. XDD But i’m starting to get a feel for him :).
That’s cool that they live underground! Unless it’s like a spoiler that you don’t want to share yet, you might could like mention it, so we kinda get a feel of what their lifestyle is underground. Other than that, i don’t have any more critiques. You did awesome!! I love Lesli and Tauren’s friendship! You’ve done really good showing that!!!
#HugRikerSquad
Oh thanks! I’m so glad you like Lesli and Tauren!
I’m really savoring everything about how living underground is different, because they don’t know anything different….or do they? 🤨
Anyways, 😂
It just y’know.. has to do with future thingys 😉
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Oh thanks! I’m so glad you like Lesli and Tauren!
You’re sooo welcome!! yes! they’re so Good!! 😀
I’m really savoring everything about how living underground is different, because they don’t know anything different….or do they? 🤨
Okay! Ooh mysterious… XD.
Anyways, 😂
It just y’know.. has to do with future thingys 😉
Oh okay! Got it. Cool ;).
#HugRikerSquad
@lightoverdarkness6 @freedomwriter76 @theloonyone @whalekeeper @loopylin @arien @felicity @starofthenorth @anyone
Pretty short chapter here, I listened to the interstellar soundtrack while writing some of this, loved it! It keeps your attention enough so that you don’t feel bored, puts you in the zone for writing another world, and still lets you focus on the writing.
Chapter 5:
***
Tauren winces.
“That’s the spot?” Lesli asks, digging her elbow into Tauren’s shoulder as the two of them sit on the cold metal floor.
“Y-yeah.”
“Really tight.” She presses in harder.
“Mhm.”
“You’ve been working hard?” Lesli laughs.
“Um—” Tauren winces again. “Yeah.”
“Yeah, I can tell.”
“Ah–“
“–You’re ok.” Lesli continues pressing in. “You’ll feel better afterwards.”
“Mhm.” Tauren closes his eyes.
“Okie, we’re done.” Lesli squeezes his shoulders.
“Thanks.” Tauren says, standing up.
The two of them walk down the hall together.
“So, how’s life here?” Tauren asks, looking around with curiosity. “Seems kind of fancy huh?” he laughs.
“Oh, yeah. A bit.” Lesli smiles. “I’ve been hanging out with Kieryn sometimes.”
“I’ll let you in on a secret… I don’t like his friends.” Lesli laughs.
Keiryn. Keiryn… Oh!
“Keiryn?!” Tauren says with a disgusted lilt.
“Hm? He’s my cousin.” Lesli says, confused.
“Your cousin?!!” Tauren stops walking and turns to face Lesli, mouth half open.
“…yeah?”
Tauren stares back down the hall towards the tea shop.
“What?!” Lesli looks down the hallway, following Tauren’s gaze.
“I know him!”
“You—you know him?!” Lesli turns back to Tauren. “You’ve never been here before!”
“I-I saw him… in the mines!” Tauren exclaims. “At work the other day. I was there late and—”
“—The mines? How—why?” Lesli says in shock.
“You’re sure it was him?”
“Yes! He had a girl with him, and she called his name!” Tauren says, frantically trying to remember the last few days.
“I was there really late, and they were runnin’ through the mines together!” Tauren says. “I remember I thought it was an odd place to see people like them—they weren’t dressed like miners, that’s for sure.”
“Really?! That’s such an odd place to want to be.” Lesli pauses to think. “Why would they go to the mines of all places?”
“Hey, they aren’t even allowed to be there!” Lesli exclaims.
“I know! I told them to leave, uh, but I wasn’t very stern.”
They laugh.
“Yeah…not really in you. That’s ok.”
“They would’ve been terrified if you were with me.” Tauren jokes.
“Oh c’mon. I’m not that aggressive.”
“Oh! I wanted to tell you.” Tauren lowers his voice. “I was talking to this guy in the shopping district about our history—”
Lesli shoots him a concerned look.
“He said the mining district was the first to be established—isn’t that cool?” Tauren says with excitement.
“…That is cool.” Lesli says. “It makes sense too. All this space had to be mined out.” She gestures to the high ceiling.
“Oh yeah!” Tauren looks up.
“I was thinkin’ about that just yesterday actually, imagining that I was mining it out myself, and—I was like super determined too. It was just how I felt when I first started mining.” Lesli sighs. “And I was about to go on break and sit with you.” She smiles at Tauren.
“Oh. Nice.” Tauren smiles back. “I don’t sit at our spot anymore. I still write during break though!”
“Oh, yeah. I still write sometimes too.” Lesli says. “Let’s stop by my uncles place and get something to eat.” Lesli skips ahead a bit.
“Oh. Sure.” Tauren says nervously, catching up to her.
“You’re nervous? You walked all the way here by yourself.” Lesli comments.
“Hm? Oh, uh… I kinda… don’t want to see your cousin again?” Tauren forces the words out.
“That bad huh?” Lesli laughs. “I mean what all happened in the mines?”
“Oh… I… told them nicely to leave, they refused, saying they were there for a reason, and basically, I let them get away with it.” Tauren puts a hand on his forehead, cringing. “Just—I’m not really good at telling people what to do.”
“Oh, well, don’t worry about what he thinks of you. It doesn’t matter a lot.”
“Easier said than done.” Tauren laughs. “Honestly his attitude was a big part of it. Full confidence in defying my telling him to leave.”
“Hey, I used to be a bit of a pest too, right?” Lesli laughs. “Sometimes it takes another person to make somebody mature.”
Tauren smiles, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye.
“You actually think you’d still be that way if we didn’t become friends?”
“I’m dunno. I think it just made me gain a wider vision for what life is.” Lesli pulls out her keys. “I just wanted attention before, no matter how I got it.”
“…yeah. Y’know I was thinking… kinda off topic, but I that older man I was talking to in the shopping district–” Tauren lowers his voice. “He said the outside world is beyond repair. How should he know if he’s never been there before?”
“Well… I’m surprised he even told you that much. My dad used to talk about that a lot, mostly how he wanted to fix things.”
“You never told me that before.” Tauren says with curiosity.
“Yeah. It gets people in trouble. I mean just look at my broken family.”
Tauren gives her a questioning look.
“My dad fought for what was right—at least I believe. It became what his life revolved around though. I still remember the things he told me—but it isn’t as happy a memory as it used to be. I remember sitting around the couch in our living room, listening earnestly to his pieces of wisdom about our world, and how he wanted to fix it. It felt like being let in on a special secret.” Lesli sighs.
“Maybe it was special. But it took over his life, and I felt like I was put on the backburner to his work. I bet my mom felt the same. Nobody can fix the world singlehandedly.”
Lesli turns her key in the door, and they walk inside. Tauren stays close behind her, looking around at the tall ceiling and fancy furniture.
“Hi, Lesli!” Martha calls from across the living room.
“Did you have fun hanging out with—” Martha looks over towards the door.
Tauren rubs the back of his neck.
This is kinda awkward.
“Oh! Hi Tauren!” Martha walks over, giving Tauren a hug. “You walked all the way up here?”
“y-yeah.”
“Oh, that’s so sweet of you. I’m sure Lesli really appreciates that.”
Lesli smiles.
“Keiryn’s not home yet—Oh! You should meet him. He’s only a year or two younger than you!” Martha exclaims.
“Oh! Uh, yeah.” Tauren says, sharing a glance with Lesli.
“Hey Owen!” Martha calls, looking down the unit’s hallway.
“Yeah?”
“Come over here, I need you to meet somebody.” She gestures towards the door. This is Tauren, he’s Lesli’s friend.”
“Nice to meet you!” Tauren shakes Owens hand.
“You too!” Owen says, hesitantly.
He’s never seen somebody like me.
“Yeah, this guy’s great.” Lesli says with a smile, ruffling his hair.
I’m getting too old for that Les.
Tauren blushes.
“What?” Lesli says with a laugh.
“Tauren was 5 and Lesli was 7 when they met.”
“Nice! Wow, that’s a long time to be friends.” Owen says in a friendly tone.
“Yeah.” Tauren says.
“We used to spend hours in the mines together. We worked the same shift.” Lesli says with a blissful tone.
Owen raises an eyebrow at Martha, who gives a questioning gaze towards Lesli.
“What? We don’t talk about it now?” Lesli asks.
Tauren shifts uncomfortably.
“Oh! No that’s fine.” Martha turns towards Owen. “She wanted to work in the mines when she was a kid.”
If it wasn’t for this ordeal, I’d still be doing it too.
“Oh!” Owen looks over at Lesli. “Well, I don’t know many girls who would have made that decision but uh—good for you!”
“I’m going to get back to work, thank you for the introduction though!” Owen says, nodding at Martha.
“I right in the middle of sorting through some paper—could you two handle food yourselves?” She asks, starting to walk back into the unit.
“Oh, sure!” Lesli says.
Tauren watches until Martha leaves.
“Hey, there was one more thing I wanted to say about that conversation.” Tauren says, leaning up against the back of the front door.
“Yeah?”
“What do you think about it?” He asks.
“Me?” Lesli pauses to think.
“Our world must be really old. Can you imagine what the previous people would have thought… if you told them one day they’re home would be labeled, ‘beyond repair’?”
Tauren looks at the floor. “I think they would have been distraught.”
“Can anything really be, ‘beyond repair’’?” She says, looking at the floor.
Lesli remembers the words of her father.
“Sure, anyone could go there. But it’s a lifeless place. We did that.”
He looks down solemnly.
“We sucked the life out of our planet.” He says under his breath, with a shake of his head.
“I don’t know.” Tauren says.
“I want to visit someday.” Lesli replies.
“You want to go—like there?” Tauren’s eyes grow wide. “It’s probably dangerous.”
“Is it?” She looks up at him.
Lesli’s thoughts are immediately jarred by the door opening, nearly pushing Tauren into the wall.
“Oh! Sorry.” Tauren moves out of the way.
“Oh!” Keiryn locks eyes with Tauren.
“I-uh… should introduce you guys. Keiryn, this is my friend Tauren.” Lesli gestures towards him.
“Hi.” Tauren says, trying to sound neutral.
“Hi.” Keiryn looks over at Lesli, trying to read her expression. She studies the two of them.
Keiryn gives Tauren a questioning look.
You told her?
Tauren shrugs.
Why wouldn’t I?
Hehe I wonder what will happen 🤨
No art this time because I’ve been drawing book two stuffs lately.
Thank you all for reading!
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Awesome stuff! I get so excited when I see you posted a new chapter! I really like everything. The outside world and what happened to it is making me curious and Keiryn keeps getting more mysterious!! Great job!!!!!!
Yeah, what IS going to happen next? 😀
He must increase, but I must decrease.
Glad you are enjoying it! 😃
Hmm… mysterious Keiryn… 🤔
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
I love it! I can’t wait to learn more about the world they’re in
“Nothing says autumn like slurpin’ apples.” -my uncle
Glad you like it!
Your new pfp is really cute! 😃 (I love foxes)
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
@theloonyone @freedomwriter76
Oh well… too bad the drawing only goes down to far… looks like you’ll just have to be confused. 🤷🏻♀️
*sigh*
🤨🤨🤨
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
@mineralizedwritings thanks! So do I! (I change my pfp way too much lol)
“Nothing says autumn like slurpin’ apples.” -my uncle
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
AHHH!!! Great chapter!!! (and great art!!! 😉 )
LOVE IT!!!! <3333
But…I remain conflicted about Kieryn….and I’m starting to feel the same way about Lesli’s dad too…ughhhhhhhhhhhh….XD
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