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Um… good for you? 🤨😂
Yeah… 🤨
Ooh… these friends… 😬
Yeah… 🤨
I loved the chapter! And I don’t like those friends 😒 But I love Lesli and Tauren! I’ve got mixed feelings about Keiryn
LOL exactly how I wanted you guys to feel 🤣.
😍 Tauren’s here!! maybe 🙂
Yeah…🤨
(Yeah…🤨 is my new way of saying HMMMM 🤐🤐)
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
(Yeah…🤨 is my new way of saying HMMMM 🤐🤐)
I was cracking up while reading open under almost every single thing I said. 😂 That’s how I know I’m onto things… 🤐🤐
That’s how I know I’m onto things… 🤐🤐
Yeah… 🤨
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Chapter 5 I think?
@felicity @starofthenorth @arien @theloonyone @loopylin @freedomwriter76 @lightoverdarkness6 @whalekeeper @anyoneelse!Random art of Tauren: he is probably like 8 here? idk. I dunno if he still plays guitar 😂
Tauren walks out the door with purpose, having chosen to wear a sweater with his overalls instead of his work shirt. He locks the door behind him, pulling on the handle to test it.
Professions district.
He looks down the hallway.
I wonder what it’s like.
Tauren walks down the hallway towards the shopping district, the first stop along the way.
I’ll eat at the shopping district, turn left down maple, then it’s a straight shot for a couple miles, then a right turn.
Tauren sighs.
I’ve never been past the shopping district. I don’t like newness.
Tauren continues walking, his boots thudding onto the floor with each step.
If somebody would have told me when I was 5 I’d be walking this far to see Lesli Mintz of all people, I never would have believed them.
Tauren thinks back to their time in grade school with a smile.
Ms. Willington leans over 8-year-old Lesli in sheer frustration. Tauren watches wide eyed from the other side of the classroom.
“Lesli Mintz. Why are you such a pest?” The room grows silent.
It sounded like an awful nickname, but Lesli fully earned it in her first two years of school.
Lesli crosses her arms at the teacher, pouting.
“I can be whatever I want to be.” Lesli says defiantly, walking back to her desk. She shares a seething glare with Ms. Willington.
Oh, I should steer clear of that girl.
Five-year-old Tauren leans over his desk, eyeing the situation from a safe distance.
Tauren runs to his parents after class.
“Hey honey!” Aleshia picks up Tauren. “We want you to meet our new neighbors.”
Tauren sinks into his mom’s shoulder while she points out names.
“Here we have Mr. and Ms. Mintz, and their daughter Lesli.” Aleshia turns Tauren towards herself. “You two are really close in age!”
“oh.” Tauren looks directly across at Lesli, being held at the same level by her dad. He buries his face into his mom’s shoulder again.
“Hey, what kind of a greeting is that! Say Hi!” Aleshia says, prying Tauren off and setting him on the ground.
“Hi.” Tauren says shyly, barely being heard.
Lesli studies him from her perch up in her dad’s arms.
“Hi.”
“I already know you.”
“Oh. Yeah.” Tauren mumbles, hiding behind his dad momentarily.
Tauren smiles at the memory. He walks towards the main hallway that leads towards the shopping district, entering the business of Saturday morning shopping.
“How much is that?” A man leans over a counter to a small vegetable shop, selling the latest crops from the farming district.
“Excuse me!”
“Oh! Sorry!” Tauren steps out of the way of a young family trying to navigate the crowd with two children in tow.
Sitting down on a bench to the side, he watches the hustle and bustle in contentment. Tauren takes his lunch out of his bag, while he watches a busy carver through the small window into his shop. Ornate doorhandles and lamp bases line the front window, each tagged with a wholesale price and a regular price. The carver holds up his current piece, turning it to view each angle. Unsatisfied, he rotates it and shaves some more wood chips away. Tauren watches in fascination between bites of his sandwich.
“Hey!” A stout older man approaches Tauren. “This seat taken?” He says in a jolly voice.
“Oh—um no.” Tauren scoots aside to make room.
“Cool!!” he sits down with a sigh.
“I’m on break. I work there.” The man points towards a small storefront with baked goods in the window.
“Nice.” Tauren takes a sip of water. “I work in the mines.”
“Ah yes! Very cool.”
“Ever find anything interesting down there?” He asks inquisitively.
“Hm? Not really. I find small pieces of metal every now and then, but they don’t amount to much here in the shopping district.” Tauren takes another bite.
“Ah yes. I get that.” The man rests his head in his hand, thinking. “You don’t know much about our history then? I always wondered if every district was like that. They say the mining district was the first one established.”
“Oh. No. We don’t talk about it.” Tauren’s eyes grow wide at the subject.
“Well you want to know something?”
“We…we aren’t supposed to talk about it right?” Tauren asks uneasily.
“Doesn’t hurt does it?”
“Uh… sure.”
I guess I’ll have something to talk to Lesli about now.
“You know there’s another world outside of ours?”
“Yeah. I thought it was beyond repair—”
“—It is beyond repair. It’s a horrible place. But I always find it interesting—” He pauses. “The idea of what it used to be. Before the war. Betcha didn’t know there was a war huh?” He turns towards Tauren with a smile.
“Oh.” Tauren remains uneasy.
“Yes. A civil war. You know what that is?”
“Never heard of it really.” Tauren snaps his lunch box shut and pushes it into his bag.
“Well, that would be like if miners turned against each other instead of allying and being friends.”
“Hm.” Tauren looks down at the ground. “That’s interesting…”
I guess it’s kinda morbid too.
Tauren turns with a confused look to the man. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Hm?” He shuffles in his seat. “Well, I think it’s interesting stuff, and honestly I believe no matter how bad the past is, everyone has a right to know where they came from. It’s a conflict I deal with—I know more than most, but cannot share it. You for one, don’t know my name. So, you couldn’t go tattle on me.”
“Oh. Makes since.” Tauren swings his bag back on.
“I’m gonna get a move on, good talking with you.” Tauren says softly.
“Ok! Yeah, thanks for letting me share! Don’t go around telling people unless you want to end up in trouble.” The man raises a eyebrow.
“Yeah.” Tauren says, walking off in the other direction.
Why’s it such a big deal anyways? I agree with what he said, everyone does have a right to know where they came from.
First district established. I guess we should be proud. That’s cool.
Tauren walks on, busying himself by reading the street signs.
Hickory.
Huckleberry hall.
Who comes up with these things anyways, they’re so random. What is a “Hickory” anyways?
Tauren looks up at a small sign posted on the cross hall.
Maple! That’s the one.
Tauren turns down maple, looking around in fascination at the people already there. A woman leading a small child by the hand carries a load of wrapped packages on her back. She smiles and nods at Tauren. He nods back.
That’s meat for sure. Maybe her family are butchers. I wonder how many times that kid has been to the shopping district? Maybe it’s his first.
Tauren smiles.
I’m glad I’m not tired yet, it’s probably the walk back home that I’ll really feel it.
Continuing walking, Tauren reads hall signs for another couple miles until reaching the next left towards the professions district. He notices the bright lighting and metal floors ahead, and tires to ignore the growing butterflies in his stomach.
What if I can’t find her address?
Tauren tightens his grip on his satchel strap. He nervously combs a hand through his curls. His boots hit the metal floors with a thud. He looks around him at the overwhelming scene of nicely dressed folk talking, laughing, and drinking together. Shuffling along the wall, he looks down at his directions.
“Hey! What are you up to here?” A nicely dressed man, about 30 years old, says looking down at Tauren’s map.
“Oh!” Tauren fumbles with the map before shoving it in his bag. “I’m visiting a friend.”
“Really? You’re got a friend up here?” The man adjusts his short brim hat.
“Yeah.”
“Who is it?”
“Lesli Mintz.”
“Oh! I believe…” The man looks down the hallway, craning his neck to try to see above the crowd. “Yup! Right down there.” He points at a table next to a tea stand.
“Oh!” Tauren scans the people. “Uh… I’ll go over there and see.”
I don’t think she’s in that group, but I’ll check…
Tauren approaches timidly from behind, examining all the faces.
It just now occurred to me that she probably is not wearing whatever I’m looking for right now.
Tauren walks up to the table, cringing as all eyes turn towards him.
Where is she…
Oh!
Tauren’s gaze falls on the girl closest to him, her eyes permanently fixed to the tablecloth.
Goodness, that’s Les! She doesn’t look all that happy.
“H-hey.” Tauren’s voice comes out quitter than he expected.
Lesli barely moves.
“Les?”
“Oh!” Lesli turns around abruptly. “Hey!” She stands up.
The rest of the group watches in confusion as Lesli wraps her arms around Tauren.
“You walked all the way here?” Lesli looks up at him.
“Yeah!” Tauren says with pride.
“Oh uh—” Lesli looks at the rest of the group. “I’m gonna go hang out with a friend for a bit.” She drops one of her arms from Tauren. “Kieryn, would you tell my mom…Hm.”
I don’t think he’ll remember Tauren’s name…
“Keiryn, would you tell my mom I’m hanging out with my little brother, and I’ll be back late today?” Lesli says, picking up her bag.
Tauren smiles.
“Um-what?” Keiryn and Tauren lock eyes.
I know him from somewhere.
“Oh, uh- sure.” Kieryn shuffles uneasily,
They aren’t siblings. You can tell by looking.
Tauren puts his arm around Lesli as they turn and walk away.
“Your cousin knows a miner?!” Carson turns around to give Keiryn a questioning look.
“I actually just met her for the first time a few days ago. My best guess is as good as yours.”
“That would make him your cousin too?” Alexandria looks at Keiryn with suspicion.
“She’s an only child.” Keiryn clarifies. “Who knows what that was supposed to mean.”
“Oh, I have a friend.”
I guess that was her friend.
Keiryn watches them eagerly talking as they walk away down the hall together.
I thought it took a really long time to walk up here? Who would do that just to have a couple hours together?
Waste of time.
Keiryn looks around the large table as his friends resume talking like nothing happened.
Nobody wastes time on me.
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
Okay…okay…okay…girl…
NOW I FEEL SO CONFLICTED ABOUT KEIRYN!!!!! XD
Like, literally, when you said this:
“Oh, I have a friend.”
I guess that was her friend.
Keiryn watches them eagerly talking as they walk away down the hall together.
I thought it took a really long time to walk up here? Who would do that just to have a couple hours together?
Waste of time.
Keiryn looks around the large table as his friends resume talking like nothing happened.
Nobody wastes time on me.
LIKE….UGHHHHH!!!! NOW I’M CONFUZZLED!!! XD
But I love the chapter! I love Tauren and Lesli so much!!!
Okay, maybe Tauren more…XD- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@mineralizedwritings, also, such a cute drawing! <333
I won’t say I’m speechless because, well, I’m speaking/typing :D, but those last two chapters were
so
so
good.
I love Tauren’s flashbacks!! And the hint of the civil war and the real world is so perfect! The last part about Keiryn makes me understand more about him and what he’s going through. I really feel for him! While at the same time, I don’t trust him. Ugh those “friends”!
I still can’t decide if I like Tauren or Lesli best… I’m leaning towards Tauren…but that’s just me. The way you handle the three MC’s (or is Keiryn the villain?) is very well done. GREAT JOB!!!
The only problem with you writing so well is that now you’re stuck!! You HAVE to tell us what happens next! 😀 No pressure…
He must increase, but I must decrease.
@freedomwriter76
NOW I FEEL SO CONFLICTED ABOUT KEIRYN!!!!! XD
BE CONFLICTED 😂
LIKE….UGHHHHH!!!! NOW I’M CONFUZZLED!!! XD
But I love the chapter! I love Tauren and Lesli so much!!! Okay, maybe Tauren more…XD
Lol yeah. I think it comes through in my writing who my favorite is 😂
But, I have reasons.
1. Tauren was my first serious OC!
2. He’s sweet 🙂
3. He’s a bit like me in some ways.
3.5 He has awesome hairalso, such a cute drawing! <333
Thanks!! <33
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
😍😲 Little Tauren is adorable! He played the guitar?! Awesome!
Ooh yes! Some world history! 😍
Waste of time.
Nope. No, it’s not. 🤣
Nobody wastes time on me.
😲😨😰😱😭😭😭 Poor Keiryn…
I LOVED the chapter!
And uh…. Yeah… 🤨
I won’t say I’m speechless because, well, I’m speaking/typing :D, but those last two chapters were
so
so
good.
Thank you!! You all are too nice. 😃
I love Tauren’s flashbacks!! And the hint of the civil war and the real world is so perfect! The last part about Keiryn makes me understand more about him and what he’s going through. I really feel for him! While at the same time, I don’t trust him. Ugh those “friends”!
Yeah… those ‘friends’.
I still can’t decide if I like Tauren or Lesli best… I’m leaning towards Tauren…but that’s just me. The way you handle the three MC’s (or is Keiryn the villain?) is very well done. GREAT JOB!!!
Thanks! <3
Yeah, personally Tauren is my favorite too. But he was my first serious character ever so he might just always be lol.
The only problem with you writing so well is that now you’re stuck!! You HAVE to tell us what happens next! 😀 No pressure…
LOL yes I’m stuck! XD
I’ve been on quite a writing spree lately so hopefully it won’t be that long. I wrote a draft of the climax yesterday 😆 just couldn’t wait.
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Thank you! Glad you liked it! yeah he played the guitar in the earlier stages of my book, not sure if he still does.
And yeah… poor Kieryn😥
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
I finally read chapters 3 and 4! I’m sensing a Keiryn redemption arc…
Also, the Tauren drawing is adorable!💕
“Nothing says autumn like slurpin’ apples.” -my uncle
I finally read chapters 3 and 4! I’m sensing a Keiryn redemption arc…
🤐
Also, the Tauren drawing is adorable!💕
Thank you!
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
I’ve been on quite a writing spree lately so hopefully it won’t be that long.
Can you send some writing spree magic over here? Please!!
Because (shhh) I’m in a slump.
He must increase, but I must decrease.
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