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Thanks!! <33
You are soooo welcome!!! <3333
I remember digging through my marker bin like hmmm… purple sweater?🤔
He looks so cute in one! XD
Yeah I’m doing that 😀
Cool. Cool! 😉
Oh I’m honored to have made a reader feel the sad!! 😂
YESSS!!! Every writer is honored. XDXDXDXD
I’m so glad you like Aleshia! I didn’t know people would like her! I haven’t done really any character work with her, but I should try to develop her some more.
YES! She already seems like such a great mom!!! 😀 Absolutely! Character development would make her even better!!! 😉
Thanks for reading and really glad you’re enjoying it!! 😁
You are sooo welcome!!! <333 And yes, I love this!!! (and really take it as a compliment, bc I rarely ever read anything EXCEPT Historical Fiction because I get bored of everything else! XD)
@freedomwriter76
You are sooo welcome!!! <333 And yes, I love this!!! (and really take it as a compliment, bc I rarely ever read anything EXCEPT Historical Fiction because I get bored of everything else! XD)
Aw thanks!! <333
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@mineralizedwritings. You are sooo welcome!!! <333
@theloonyone @loopylin @freedomwriter76 @lightoverdarkness6 @folith-feolin @whalekeeper @felicity @anyone @arien @starofthenorth
(Pls read chapter 3 first if you haven’t 😀)
Chapter 4
“Dad I’m going to go hang out with some friends.” Keiryn calls into the living room from the door.
Lesli glances up briefly from her writing, but quickly glances down.
“Maybe you could bring Lesli, help her meet some people?” Owen says, setting down his coffee with a thunk.
Ugh. I have to ‘meet people’ here. I’ve never really been the new kid in my life because my dad’s family goes back so far in the mining district. Everyone knows us.
Lesli hides her internal eye roll.
Be glad they care. It’s not a bad idea, I guess.
“Uh—” Keiryn stutters and looks expectantly towards Martha. She smiles. “Sure.”
“Lesli why don’t you go get ready.” Martha says.
“Oh uh—thanks.” Lesli glances awkwardly at Keiryn before heading back to her room, unsure of his opinion on her joining.
Lesli comes back into the living room wearing a sage colored dress.
“Where are you guys going?” Lesli fills up her water and slips it into her bag.
“Oh, I dunno. Sometimes that friend group stands around and talks at the coffee and tea stand down there.” Kieryn gestures to the left.
“Cool.” Lesli says blandly, tying her flats.
Keiryn pulls on his blazer as the two of them walk out the door.
“Oh, you two look so cute, can I get a picture really quick?” Martha says, picking up a small instax camera.
“Sure…” Keiryn says with a sigh, obviously getting old enough that cute is no longer a compliment.
“You two have fun!” Owen says as they walk out the door.
Lesli listens to the sound of their shoes tapping against the stark floor in synchrony.
“…”
“You’re really quiet.”
“Hm?” Lesli breaks her eyesight from the floor but doesn’t look at Keiryn.
“I said you’re really quiet.”
“Oh. Yeah.”
“Do you have friends, or you just hang out by yourself?” Keiryn asks. “I mean you don’t seem very enthused.”
I’ll bet she’s coming with me solely because her parents would want her too.
“I have a friend.” Lesli adjusts her bag on her shoulder.
“Oh. I have a lot of friends.” Keiryn says innocently. Lesli looks up at him sharply, with a questioning gaze.
“Y’know my parents are divorced too.” Keiryn says, taking a drink from his water.
“Really?” Lesli looks back at him with surprise. “That never occurred to me. But yeah, I’ve never met your mom.”
“I took it really well.” Keiryn smiles with pride. “I haven’t cried in two years straight.”
“Wow.” Lesli says, looking ahead in bewilderment.
Lesli’s face reddens with embarrassment.
He definitely heard me bawling my eyes out last night. I mean our rooms are right next to each other.
“How long ago was that?” Lesli asks quietly, fiddling with the hymn of her sleeve.
“Oh, I don’t keep track. I’d say I was 10. So, 5 years ago.” Keiryn says, his confident air not wavering slightly with the change in topic.
“Hm.” Lesli nods.
“Down here.” He points down a busy hallway towards the district central.
Lesli feels her stomach go queasy at the sight of the large, crowded room. She sticks close to Keiryn as they weave through the people.
“Heeyy! Keir-yn!” A girl squeals from the side of the crowd.
“Oh hey! How’s it going?” Keiryn smiles at her.
“Good!” She laughs.
Lesli hangs in the back uncomfortably while they make small talk.
“Oh! This is my cousin Lesli.” Kieryn moves to the side.
“Hi!” Lesli reaches out her hand. The other girl pauses, her facial expression falling momentarily. She shakes Lesli’s hand.
She knows I’m different.
“Olivia.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“You as well!” Olivia’s extroverted voice and expression mask her previous demeanor.
“Where’s the rest?” Keiryn turns to the crowd, scanning for his friends.
“They’re coming.”
Lesli glances down at Olivia’s hand.
Tea.
From that shop over there.
That’s one of the girls from that group we saw coming in.
Keiryn waves fanatically to a group of 3 girls and 2 guys weaving through the crowd together.
“Hey man!” One of the guys shouts at Keiryn.
“Hey!” Keiryn glances back, making sure everyone he knows is there. “Let’s sit down over here.” he gestures to a table.
Lesli shuffles next to Keiryn at the front of the group, trying to ignore the eyes bearing through the back of her head.
“Oh uh—I’m Lelsi.” She says shyly, turning back to face them. “Keiryn’s cousin.”
That was dumb. I should have waited for him to introduce me.
The group stares awkwardly.
“Cool.” One of the guys says, barely paying attention and focusing on watching the hands on his silver rimmed watch.
“Oh yeah! I forgot to introduce her to you guys. She’s living with us right now.” Keiryn turning towards them.
“Oh hi!” One of the girls reaches out her hand to shake Lesli’s. “Pleasure to meet you!”
“Oh, Lesli you said it was? I’m Carson.” The boy with the silver rimmed watch says enthusiastically.
This is so weird. I don’t like it.
“I’m Lila, and this is Katie and Alexandria, that’s Lucas. Lucas and Alexandria are siblings.” Lila points to each person in the group as she lists the names.
“Nice!” Lesli says, twisting a piece of hair around her finger.
The group starts to sit down at a large table next to the coffee stand. Lesli looks up at the high ceiling again.
Magnificent it may be, but what a waste of labor.
She looks back nervously as seats fill up. Grabbing a nearby chair to pull up next to Keiryn, she meets a cold glare from Alexandria, currently sitting next to him.
“Oh, sorry we are a chair short, here pull one up.” Keiryn scoots his chair left to make room.
“Yeah! We have plenty of space.” Alexandria smiles friendliness at Lesli, making room for her next to Keiryn.
Lesli glances over at Alexandria with confusion.
“Hm?”
“Oh, just… nothing.” Lesli says softly.
She stares into the coffee shop, looking with fascination on the beautiful porcelain lining the walls.
“Oh!” Lila shifts in her chair. Carson looks up.
“Where do you think he’s from?!” She asks the rest of the group, gesturing with a head nod to the side.
“Woah, that looks like a miner!”
“Ugh, why would a miner come up here?”
Lesli squeezes the sides of her chair uncomfortably. She stares into the lace tablecloth, tracing its intricate pattern with her eyes.
“I dunno, maybe to get a break from living under that mask of soot.”
Lila and Alexandria laugh lightly at Carson’s joke.
Oh, come on, that wasn’t even funny.
And no, miners don’t always look dirty.
Lesli keeps her mouth shut.
“Why’s he looking at us?!” Alexandria says with a hint of disgust, turning back towards the group.
“I dunno.” Keiryn taps his shoes against the floor. “Don’t worry about it”
All eyes in the group turn towards Lesli. She continues tracing the lace on the table with her eyes, trying to ignore them.
“H-hey.” A soft voice echoes awkwardly from behind her.
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@mineralizedwritings. I LOVE IT!!! <3333
And wow…they don’t seem very nice. XD Very judging. Lesli…don’t hang out with this friend group…just…don’t…XD If they change, sure, but otherwise…XD
And Tauren!!! Yesssss, man, talk to Lesli!!!! She needs you way more than she needs these other people!!!
(I’m just unhappy how they talked about Tauren, lol…XD)
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
Long story short, I love Tauren. XD
@freedomwriter76
I LOVE IT!!! <3333
Thank you! <33
And wow…they don’t seem very nice. XD Very judging. Lesli…don’t hang out with this friend group…just…don’t…XD If they change, sure, but otherwise…XD
Yeah… not the best people lol.
(I’m just unhappy how they talked about Tauren, lol…XD)
LOL SAME XD
Long story short, I love Tauren. XD
YAY! I’m glad you like him!
Just curious if you could pick up on this, they are only being nice to her when Keiryn is involved, cuz they want to be on his good side 😭
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
Thank you! <33
You are sooo welcome!!! <3333
Yeah… not the best people lol.
Yeah…I can tell. XD
LOL SAME XD
Don’t talk bad about Tauren, people, I don’t like it. XDXDXDXD
YAY! I’m glad you like him!
Of course!!! He’s so sweet and wonderful!!! <333
Just curious if you could pick up on this, they are only being nice to her when Keiryn is involved, cuz they want to be on his good side 😭
Yeah, I kinda detected that…makes me dislike them even more…just being honest…XD
@freedomwriter76
Yeah, I kinda detected that…makes me dislike them even more…just being honest…XD
You are free to dislike them. I don’t like them either. 🤣
Of course!!! He’s so sweet and wonderful!!! <333
Yeah! Lol that’s what I was hoping to get across! 😀
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
You are free to dislike them. I don’t like them either. 🤣
Okay, good, I will then. 😛
Yeah! Lol that’s what I was hoping to get across! 😀
Well, you’re getting that across!!! 🙂
So sorry it took me so long to reply! I LOVE it!! Great job!
And I like your drawing style, too.
Keep it up!!😊😁
Dark is the Shadow, and yet my heart rejoices.
No worries, thanks for reading!
So sorry it took me so long to reply! I LOVE it!! Great job!
And I like your drawing style, too.
Thank you! Glad you like it! 😁
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Ok so Lesli and Tauren live underground. I’m not sure how obvious that was, but the title of the series is currently “The west hills bunkers” which will definitely help the reader understand that. I might include dates in the finished version, If set in our world it would be around 3,401. Thanks for bringing that to my attention though, I really do need to bring in the background soon. I’m withholding information about the outside mostly because I want to the reader to experience the new experiences Lesli and Tauren have with just the same lack of knowledge they have. Like, when the mc’s learn something new, so do you. Lesli and Tauren have no idea what the world is really like, and I want that shock to be experienced with the reader. The world grows throughout the series… if that makes sense. Lesli’s dad is involved in some of the history of the bunker, so I’ll probably put that in soon. I’m glad you liked it! 😁 Thanks for taking the time to read!
Okay, that’s kind of what I was guessing. So it’s like The City of Ember? I read that recently, and it really caught my imagination.
Good job! I really want to see what happens next! I liked how we see Tauren deciding to visit Lesli, then Lesli with Keiryn and his friends, and then . . . Tauren shows up then?!? I can’t wait to see how everyone reacts! Oh, and Keiryn being the obnoxious kid in chapter three (?) and then showing up again as Lesli’s cousin! What was he doing there?
Go on, Lesli, just give him a big hug in front of everyone, they don’t matter! 😊😍
Be brave. Be strong. Be bold.
-Christopher BlakewellLol yes! My story is partially inspired by the city of ember. LOVE LOVE LOVED that book growing up. I didn’t actually realize the parallels until quite awhile through plotting 😅
Good job!
Thanks!😁
HEHE I wonder what Keiryn was doing in the mines? 🤨
Go on, Lesli, just give him a big hug in front of everyone, they don’t matter! 😊😍
Lol yessss!!
Ok but I’m not confirming anything we don’t know what happens (no really I haven’t written it 😂 I have ideas though.)
Glad you want to see more, thanks for reading!!
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
YES! Chapter four is here!
“I took it really well.” Keiryn smiles with pride. “I haven’t cried in two years straight.”
Um… good for you? 🤨😂
“Oh yeah! I forgot to introduce her to you guys. She’s living with us right now.” Keiryn turning towards them.
“Oh hi!” One of the girls reaches out her hand to shake Lesli’s. “Pleasure to meet you!”
Ooh… these friends… 😬
“H-hey.” A soft voice echoes awkwardly from behind her.
😍 Tauren’s here!! maybe 🙂
I loved the chapter! And I don’t like those friends 😒 But I love Lesli and Tauren! I’ve got mixed feelings about Keiryn
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