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Lol! I’m sure they wouldn’t mind XD
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
@arien @starofthenorth @theloonyone @loopylin @lightoverdarkness6 @felicity @esther-c @whalekeeper
I post chapters of my WIP (“Afterthoughts”, working title) here sometimes, if you are interested. I’d recommend starting at the beginning of the forum if you feel like reading. No pressure, just if you are interested! Critiques are welcome! 🙂
Next chapter! Maybe eventually I’ll come up with some chapter titles 🙂
Tauren watches over Lesli’s shoulder as she writes.
“Hey!” She laughs. “You’re reading over my shoulder.”
Tauren says nothing but smiles and looks away. He glances down at his watch.
Ugh. The longer I wait to go home, the harder the walk back is going to feel.
He looks up from his watch at Lesli. Her face shows the same gloom of realization, and she closes her journal.
“Well.” Lesli puts the cap on her pen and sighs.
“Yeah.” Tauren agrees.
Lesli walks over to the door and picks up Tauren’s bag, swinging it onto her shoulder.
Tauren sighs as he gets up off the couch.
“Here.” Lesli hands Tauren his bag as they walk out the door.
“What do you have going on here the next week?” Tauren asks.
“Oh, not much. I might help out a teacher at the school.” Lesli sighs. “I have to do something while I attempt to ‘pick a trade.’” She says with disgusted sarcasm.
“Fun fun.” Tauren replies with monotony.
“Yeah…really fun.” She looks over at Tauren as they walk. “You?”
“Just the same stuff. Work, eat, write, sleep, and do it all over again.”
“Hm.” Lesli pauses. “I miss that way of life.”
Tauren looks over at Lesli. “It’s not the same as it was though. I mean, I had fun working as a kid too.”
“I wish I could still be doing it. Every time somebody asks me what trade I want; I wish I could say ‘miner’. And watch the utter shock on their faces.” She laughs.
“Yeah.” Tauren looks down at the floor. “I don’t think you’d like it anymore though. I mean work takes up so much time I don’t have that much fun anymore.”
“Oh.”
“Especially without you around.” Tauren smiles faintly at Lesli.
“Hm. Thanks.”
They turn the corner into the main hallway. Tauren looks around again, as if taking it all in for the first time.
“Just…so many people.”
“Yeah.”
Lesli’s flats tap lightly against the metal flooring next to the thud of Tauren’s work boots.
“Oh, Lesli dear!” The voice of an elderly woman rings from the tea stand to their left.
“Hello Aunt Fiona!” Lesli says in a soft voice.
“Oh!” Fiona’s face drops. “Lesli. You are not dating a workman, are you?” She puts her hands on her hips defiantly.
“Haha, no.” Lesli says with a nervous laugh.
“Good.” She says, her white curls bobbing on top of her head.
“Uh…” Lesli tries to find words. “Tauren, this is my great Aunt Fiona.”
“Hello! Pleasure to meet you!” Tauren says with a smile, reaching out to shake her hand.
“Oh!” She looks at him in shock, her hand halfway to the handshake. “S-sure. You also.”
She shakes Tauren’s hand, then looks over at Lesli with a questioning gaze.
“So yeah! You asked me if I had a bestie yesterday…” Lesli laughs. “Here’s your answer!” she gestures excitedly to Tauren.
Fiona looks over at Tauren with disapproval.
“How did you meet him?” Fiona says, skipping the usually customary friendly questions, and getting straight to the answers.
“Oh! We were friends since childhood. Our parents introduced us.” Lesli says, shifting her feet nervously.
“Your parents introduced you?” She says, her voice laced with scrutiny. “Martha? Your mother?”
She takes a step towards the two of them, suddenly looking more imposing than her small stature should allow.
“Y-yes.” Tauren speaks for the first time since the introduction.
“Well, that’s very lucky for you.” She looks up at Tauren, but her gaze seems to look down.
“And me.” Lesli says, putting her hand on Tauren’s shoulder as if a challenge. She locks eyes with her great Aunt and manages to keep a steady face.
“He walked all the way over here just to see me.”
“That’s very nice then.” Fiona answers, her words meaning nothing, and her tone speaking the opposite.
“Well, you have a nice day dear.” She says, looking directly at Lesli.
“You to.” Lesli’s voice strains, barely forcing out the words. She shoots a sideways glance at Tauren.
Fiona turns away from them, back towards her table. Tauren looks over to see an older man at the table, about the same age as Fiona, staring hard at him with narrowed eyes.
Oh, maybe that’s her great uncle. I think he’s been staring at me the whole time, and I just now noticed.
“Well.” Lesli looks at Tauren with a straight face. “That was interesting.”
Lesli links her arm in Tauren’s, as if to give them a physical image of her defiance as she walks off.
“Yes.” He says, with a nervous glance back at the couple.
“That’s the school.” Lesli says, unlinking her arm to point at a large building front.
Its evenly spaced windows provide a good look inside, where desks line the inside in neat rows.
“School goes up to 12th grade here.” Lesli says. “So technically I’m behind. But my uncle is respected here, so it’s not like the people who knew would go around gossiping about it. It’s supposed to be shameful, so people don’t talk about where I’m from. I could care less.”
“I mean this place wouldn’t exist without miners… so what’s the big deal?” Tauren says with a faint smile.
“I don’t know. They just like… think they’re all great here.” Lesli laughs. “Thankfully my uncle seems pretty down to earth.”
“Yeah. He seems nice. But very busy.” Tauren adds.
“Yes. He is really busy.”
“Am I down to earth?” Tauren asks, turning towards Lesli with a smile.
“Um…yeah?”
“Well, I’m a miner, so I suppose I should… be.”
Lesli gives him an inquisitive look.
“That was a joke.” He pauses. “You know, because I mine… in the earth… so I’m y’know… down to earth?”
“Oh, I see.” Lesli laughs. “I really didn’t get that one at first.”
“Not my best joke I suppose.”
“It was fine. Just needed some explaining that’s all.”
If it needs explaining, it’s not a good joke.
Tauren smiles.
Who cares. At least she thought it was funny.
Tauren ignores the glances and stares from people around them. Lesli’s face nears a grimace as she avoids making eye contact with them.
He’s my friend. He’s my friend. You can’t change that, so please stop staring.
Lesli sighs.
“What?”
“I really don’t like all the people staring at us. I can choose my friends.” Lesli sputters out her words. “I don’t care what they think.”
“I hope I’m not running down your image here.” Tauren says softly.
“No! You are just fine. If anything, it will help them realize I’m not bending to what they want.”
“Well how are you going to live here if that’s the case?” Tauren asks, genuine concern edging his tone.
“I’ll just be me I suppose.” Lesli says with a sigh. “It’s a hard place to do that.”
“Yeah.” Tauren sighs, looking at his exit.
They stand side by side in front of the hallway out, looking down the dark pathway.
Tauren turns to face Lesli. Her eyes meet his, and they smile.
“Well then.” Tauren says, shifting between his feet.
Lesli looks down the hall, then back at Tauren.
“Your glasses are dirty.” Lesli says.
“Oh, yeah.” Tauren says, taking them off.
“Here.” Lesli motions for him to give them to her. She rubs the lenses against the long sleeves of her dress.
“Handy delay.” Tauren laughs ruefully.
Lesli stops.
“I suppose. They actually were dirty though.” She hands them back.
“I feel like this has been the end of an era.” Lesli says, looking back at Tauren as he adjusts his glasses.
He looks at down at the hard metal floor.
“Yeah. That means the start of another though. Not that it will be as nice as the last.” He shrugs.
“That’s what I mean.” Lesli pauses. “I’ve said this before, but I don’t like it here.”
Tauren nods, tucking a brown curl behind his ear.
“Anyways.” Lesli says, holding out her arms.
“Oh, yeah.” Tauren gives Lesli a hug.
“Luv ya.” Lesli pats him on the back.
“You to Les.” Tauren sighs. “You don’t braid your hair anymore?”
“Hm?” Lesli pauses. “I suppose people don’t do that much here. I mean It was mostly for the practicality of not having it in my face while I mined.”
“Yeah.” Tauren looks down at his watch.
4:00
“Sorry, I really should get going…”
“Yeah.”
Tauren reluctantly drops his arms from around Lesli.
“I feel really homesick sometimes.” Lesli says, her arms still wrapped tightly around Tauren.
“Sorry.” Tauren puts an arm around her shoulder as they start down the path. “I hope me visiting helps.”
“Yeah.” Lesli watches their feet walk on in synchrony. “But it also reminds me. It reminds me of just… everything. I don’t belong here, I don’t even want to belong here, but I’m also no longer quite like you. If I’m not a miner, and don’t belong in the professions district, what am I?”
“Oh uh…” Tauren pauses. “I suppose you’re a great friend.” He looks over at her expectantly.
“And, you’re Lesli Mintz.” He adds.
“Thanks.” Lesli laughs. “I hope I can still be a great friend even though we don’t see each other much.”
“Yeah. It’s about as good as It’s going to get right now. Anyways, you need to go back home… like right about now.” Tauren says, stopping before his first turn.
“Ughh.” Lesli says, ducking out from under Tauren’s arm.
“Bye then.” She looks up at Tauren.
“Yep. Bye.” Tauren tries to force a smile, but he instead frowns.
The two of them stand still for a moment. Tauren starts off around the turn, giving her one last glance before rounding the corner. Lesli watches him leave; her brow furrowed.
It makes me angry sometimes. Separated from the people I love by dumb circumstances.
I suppose it’s not just circumstances.
I don’t know how much to blame on my parents, they did make choices.
Lesli sits down on the cold metal floor, her back too the wall.
Feels eerily similar to that spot in the mines breakroom.
She shifts against the wall, settling into it as if nothing ever changed. Closing her eyes, she tries to remember the feeling.
“Hey Tauren, look at this cool pen I found on the floor.”
“Woah!” He looks at it in awe. “It’s red.”
“Yeah. I need something to test it on real quick.” 16 year old Lesli glances around for a surface.
“Here.” She takes her pickaxe from against the wall.
“Les…!” Tauren’s eyes grow wide. “You aren’t actually for real.”
“Who cares.” Lesli says with a smirk.
Tauren watches from the side of his eyes as she scribbles a long line of red down the wooden handle. He gasps, as if witnessing a forbidden activity.
“No one will know.” Lesli laughs, and Tauren breaks out with a smile.
Lesli blinks back unshed tears before picking herself up off the ground. She brushes off her sage colored dress and pauses, staring at the spot she had just sat on.
Go back. It doesn’t even matter.
She starts back towards her uncle’s home, her flats clacking against the floor lightly. Looking ahead, she watches the hustle and bustle of the afternoon crowd through the hallway opening. Men and women dressed nicely walk too and fro, calling to those they recognize and starting small talk. Lesli sighs. Pushing her way through the crowd, she nods at Lila, who is following her parents and a family Lesli doesn’t recognize. Lila nods back.
***
Tauren sits up against a wall in the dim lighting. He opens up his bag and retrieves some left over raspberries Lesli let him take home. Popping one in his mouth, he looks up as a light flickers off. Rustling through his bag, he looks for his canteen. He notices the familiar feel of his tired bones digging into the cold floor, same as after a long exhausting day at work. Tauren licks some of the red juice off of his fingers with a smile. Picking up his bag again, he starts off towards home. A light dust kicks up from the concrete floor with each thud of his boots, creating a swirl of yellow hued specs under the overhead lights. Tauren breaths in, feeling the dust enter his lungs, but he doesn’t cough.
I’m used to that by now.
Tauren tries to walk at a steady pace, despite the ache in his muscles. He sighs in relief at the familiar sight of the shopping district. He walks right past it, but briefly glances in at the few shoppers and merchants still open.
Tomorrow is Sunday, right?
Good. I need a break.
Tauren glances up ahead. A small child wails while thrashing on the floor, his face contorted with tears.
“Bobby.” A familiar voice comes from the figure bending down next to him. “I need to take you home. Either you get up and walk, or I carry you home.”
Bobby looks up with big brown eyes, and for a moment, stops crying. Wiping his nose on his sleeve, he furrows his thin eyebrows in indecision. Bobby dramatically flops on the ground in a heap of tears, and his wailing starts again.
“Alright kiddo. Have it your way.” Layson heaves the child up onto his shoulder with a sigh.
“Hi!” Tauren says as he passes, raising his voice to be heard above Bobby’s screams of protest.
“Oh, Hi!” Layson says.
“Helping your mom again?” Tauren asks, looking at the screaming child.
“Yeah. They don’t have enough nursery workers right now.” Layson pats Bobby lightly on the back.
“Where have you been?” Layson asks, walking down in the same direction as Tauren.
“Oh uh… I went to go visit Lesli.”
“Nice.” Layson pauses. “She moved?”
“Hm…yeah.” Tauren rubs the back of his head. “Professions district.”
“Woah!” Layson looks over in surprise. “Exciting!”
“Yeah, she isn’t a huge fan.” Tauren laughs.
“It seems cool to me, but again, I’ve never been there.” Layson says with a shrug. Bobby stops crying and turns his attention to Tauren.
“It’s really different. I get a lot of stares when I visit her.”
“Oh yeah? Like… curious stares or…?” Layson asks.
“More like unfriendly.”
“Hmm.” Layson pauses. “Well, that’s not the nicest.” He adds with a laugh.
“Yeah.”
“Oh! You haven’t met this guy yet, have you?” Layson turns towards Bobby.
“Can you say Hi?” Layson assumes a softer voice and points at Tauren.
“Hi.” Bobby stares blankly at Tauren.
“Hello!” Tauren says with an awkward smile directed at Bobby.
“Oh! Here’s my stop.” Layson turns and knocks on the door, shifting his attention to the women who answers.
Tauren continues walking steadily until reaching his unit. Pulling out his keys, he unlocks the door. He jerks the door open and savors the smell of freshly baked bread wafting outside.
Looks like mom’s been busy.
He smiles.
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
I post chapters of my WIP (“Afterthoughts”, working title) here sometimes, if you are interested. I’d recommend starting at the beginning of the forum if you feel like reading. No pressure, just if you are interested! Critiques are welcome! 🙂
Will do!
Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo
@arien @starofthenorth @theloonyone @loopylin @lightoverdarkness6 @felicity @esther-c @whalekeeper @orielle21
@freedomwriter76 (Might want to go back a bit before reading this section 😁)
@booksandbeakers I post chapters of my WIP (“Afterthoughts”, working title) here if you ever feel like reading! Critiques are welcome, although I’d recommend going bad to chapter one if you want the full view. No pressure, just if you’re interested!
Another chapter!
Also, some chibi art of Tauren! This has gotta be the cutest chibi I’ve ever drawn 😭
Ok now onto the actual writing:
***
Layson’s mom, Mia, bustles through into the nursery door, balancing a small child on her hip. Her shoulder length brunette hair bobs slightly with each step. Her determined and sharp gaze roams the nursery floor, looking for anyone in need of care. Layson walks in close behind her.
“Camella!” Layson calls from behind his mom.
“Hey there!” Camella looks up front wiping off a counter.
“Oh!” Mia looks back at Layson, then to Camella. “Would one of you too help that baby in the back crib?”
Layson looks over at the crying baby in the corner, then back towards Camella.
It’s a diaper change.
They share the thought.
“I’ll see you two in a bit.” Mia grabs a roll of wipes and heads back out the door.
Layson looks over at Camella. She crosses her arms, standing tall and facing him directly. Layson does the same, assuming his mother’s sharp gaze. Mia doesn’t blink.
Oh, come on, just let up already. Camella’s too good at this.
Layson narrows his eyes, ignoring the sting of having them open too long.
Mia does the same. The emerald green of her iris’s flashes through the small opening. Layson looks away and blinks. He glances back up in shame.
“Well then…!” Camella’s face turns into a smile of sheer delight, and her voice reflects the same.
Layson sighs.
“Hey, don’t feel too bad about it. I’ve changed 6 today, so it’s your turn anyways.”
“…just wanted to see me lose.” Layson says, slumping forward for dramatic impact.
“Perhaps.” Camella turns, her white apron following slightly behind. “Well? Looks like you’ve got a job to do. I’ll be in the toddler room.”
“Wow really trying to rub it in huh?” Layson sighs.
Camella laughs.
“Well, you can come and join me when you’re done.” She walks out the door, her arms full of cleaning supplies.
“Oh, and put your hair up too.” She adds, peeking her head back in. She shuts the door behind her.
“Camella, do you know how to help Skyler over there?” Mia asks, organizing a wooden cupboard in the narrow hallway that connects each room to the main center.
Camella looks over at a small girl. She rubs at her eyes with one hand and holds a toy frying pan in the other. Her face wrinkles with the start of tears, but none come from her eyes. She sputters slightly and lets out a small cry.
“Oh I’ll go try.” Camella sighs, stepping over the child fence.
“What’s going on sweetheart?” She sets down her cleaning supplies on the counter, out of reach of the children.
Skyler glances up. She drops her frying pan on the ground and reaches her hands up towards Camella.
“Yeah! There we go.” Camella picks her up and walks over to the other side of the room, sitting down in a rocking chair.
Layson burst out into the hallway, a relieved smile on his face. Stepping over the child gate, he walks over towards Camella.
“Who’s that?” Camella turns Skyler around.
“W-w..” Skyler smiles but fails to find his name.
“Hello!” Layson exclaims, sitting down on the floor.
Skyler climbs down off of Camella’s lap.
“What were you playing with back there?” Layson points at the frying pan, which Skyler totters over to get.
“Dis!” She holds it up triumphantly, her short light brown hair bobbing. She looks at the two of them with determination.
“Wow.” Camella sits down on the floor next to Skyler.
“Are you cooking something then?” Layson asks, leaning forward as if interested.
“Nope!!” Skyler spins in a circle, then crosses her arms.
Camella and Layson look at each other, then shrug.
“Here!” Skyler hands Layson the frying pan, with an expectant stare.
“Well, thank you very much. It’s a nice frying pan.” Layson pretends to examine its quality.
She nods in stiff agreement, before running over to a box of toys.
“She likes frying pans.” Camella says with a laugh.
“I see that.” Lasyon says.
“Oh, and the pots.”
“A recent obsession.” She adds with a smile, watching as Skyler digs for another in the box.
“So you don’t mind kids huh?” Camella says, looking over at Layson. “Most guys your age would be quite a complainer about having to do this.”
“I don’t mind.” Layson shrugs. “I want to have kids when I grow up.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“I used too.” Camella says. “No, I still do.”
“Anyways, are you available tomorrow?”
“I’m going to be busy for a couple days after work.” Layson glances away nervously. “I’ll come in when I’m uh—done I guess.”
“Ok. We’ll make it alright.” Camella follows Layson’s gaze towards the door. “Your day-job comes first.”
Layson says nothing.
***
Tauren finishes his breakfast quickly. He pauses at the sink with his empty canteen. Although over a week later, his time with Lesli remains fresh in his mind.
I wish I could do something.
He shakes his head at the thought. Tauren turns on the water, letting it gush into his canteen. Screwing on the lid, he walks towards the door.
“Don’t forget your keys!” Aleshia runs over to Tauren, his keys dangling from her hand.
“Oh! Thanks mom.” Tauren takes then from her with a smile.
“Sure!” Aleshia pauses in the doorway. “You stay safe out there, ok?”
“I’ll try.” Tauren says with confidence.
Aleshia smiles as Tauren walks out the door and sets out for another day at work. She sighs, remembering a couple years back.
“Oh! And you two are all matching now.” Aleshia smiles at Martha, who pulls out a small instax camera.
“Let me take a picture?” She holds up the camera. Lesli groans.
“Sure.” She scoots closer to Tauren, putting her arm around him.
“Smile!!” Martha’s camera shutter snaps a couple times. She holds it over for Aleshia to see.
“Aww, that ones going on the wall.”
Lesli makes a face at Tauren, who shrugs.
“Well Tauren, first day of work, how do you feel?” Aleshia beams, then glances over at Martha.
Lesli smiles at Tauren. The two of them stand in the middle of the hall, wearing matching denim overalls and orange work shirts, signaling they work the same shift.
“Excited!” Tauren smiles wide, leaning towards Lesli. His big brown eyes beam with happiness.
“Good! Dad and I will want to know allll about it.” Aleshia gives him a small hug.
“C’mon!” Lesli pulls Tauren by the hand towards the mines entrance.
Tauren gives one last glance to the two moms in the hallway as they run along.
“Well?” Martha turns towards Aleshia. “How does that make you feel?”
“A little nervous.” Aleshia laughs.
Martha puts a hand on her shoulder.
“I was too. And my girl is just fine.” She smiles reassuringly.
“Right. He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay.” Aleshia whispers under her breath.
“I’m sure Lesli will stick by him like glue anyways.” Martha laughs light-heartedly. “Do you know how long she’s been talking about this?”
Aleshia looks up.
“Seriously, I used to never hear the end of it. ‘Tauren’s almost old enough’ ‘I’m going to get to mine with Tauren.’ ‘We’ll have a blast together and I’ll show him the ropes’” Martha laughs.
“Don’t worry about him too much.”
“Ok.” Aleshia nods. “Thanks.”
“I know our kids aren’t that far apart…” Aleshia pauses. “But I can’t tell you how much I appreciate getting to have somebody here who knows what they’re doing.”
“That really means a lot to me.” Martha smiles kindly. “The little things can seem scary. I know that.”
“Yeah.”
“You got to let him spread his wings a bit.”
Aleshia nods with a bittersweet smile.
Looking out the door, Aleshia watches her son leave.
He doesn’t like work anymore. I can tell.
But what can anyone do about it, it’s not like work is supposed to be fun.
Aleshia walks into the kitchen, pulling out some flour and a bread pan.
I’ll need to do some trading soon.
Aleshia looks up at a long list of families taped to the refrigerator, each labeled with what type of bread they like best, and what trade they offer in return. She pours ingredients into a large mixing bowl.
I miss when Tauren would come home with Lesli, and we’d all sit around playing checkers at the dining room table.
And when Tauren wouldn’t even come home, but would go straight to the Mintz family without a word, and come back with a big smile, his journal tucked under one arm.
Aleshia kneads the bowls contents into a ball, expelling her frustration into her craft with each plop of the dough onto the countertop. She smiles ruefully at the memories.
So much joy.
It’s not gone. It just might be different.
That’s the kind of thing Martha would have reassured me about. What happened to her?
I looked up to her so much.
Aleshia shakes her head mournfully, trying to push out the proceeding anger that often follows.
You can’t control other people. I don’t know how hard it was for her. But what about her daughter? Could she have not been more considerate?
Aleshia rolls the dough into a round shape before plopping it onto the greased pan and shoving it into the oven. She shuts the door with a clank. Keeping her eyes on the bread, she pulls up a chair and sits in front of the oven. The sight of the small flames shooting up to lick the bottom grill creates a peaceful orange glow throughout the kitchen. Aleshia puts her hair up into a bun in one swift motion, a practiced art for a beadmaker. She leans forward, resting her chin on her hand, content to watch the bread bake and enjoy the oven’s warmth.
***
Tauren drops his pickaxe into the pile of others with a clank. He walks over to the other side of the room. Placing both hands against the wall, he leans hard into it, listening with satisfaction to one shoulder cracking, then the other. Tauren sighs, shaking out his arms.
Another day of hard work, and I’ll do it all over again tomorrow.
He walks over to the small metal utility sink in the corner and turns on the water. It spurts a couple times before ushering out a steady flow into the low sink bowl. Tauren takes off his glasses, which are now covered in dust. He leans on the sinks edge while running them under the cold water.
I think I’ll go back.
Just a peek?
Tauren’s smile cracks through his tiredness.
Just to look.
Mine 401, was it?
Tauren turns off the sink and runs the edge of his glasses against his shirt sleeve, absorbing some extra water. He walks towards the breakroom exit with renewed vigor, turning off the lights as he paces through the doorway. The nostalgic feeling of fearful adventure seeps back into his mind, although not quite as present as it used to feel.
Bit of a walk ahead I suppose.
Tauren glances around the empty mines, noticing with slight surprise how eerie it feels with everyone else gone home. His headlight beams a shallow yellow ring on the floor in front of him, illuminating a cloud of dust particles as he passes though.
This is such a stupid idea.
He pauses in the cross section of the two hallways at the end, mine 400 and 401. A dusty glow kicks up from his boots as he turns. His eyes are drawn to the end of mine 401.
The trapdoor out. I know it’s there.
He slowly walks forwards a couple steps, then stops to listen.
Nothing.
Tauren clenches his fists to keep his hands from shaking.
I’m just going to look. That’s all. I want to tell Lesli what it’s like.
Why am I so scared all of the sudden? I said it was just a peek.
He takes a couple more cautious steps forwards before quickening his pace to reach the door. The large handle juts out from the trapdoor in an imposing manner. Tauren tugs at it gently, and watches in awe as it opens a few inches. The hinges creak slightly.
The lock…
Tauren looks down at the broken lock laying on the floor.
Woah…
Tauren backs against the wall into a shadow. He stares at his boots, then looks back to the broken lock on the floor.
I suppose that should be a good thing…?
That makes this feel all the more real.
I don’t know if that’s even good.
Tauren glances at his watch, rubbing the dirt off of the face onto his other sleeve.
This is so real.
Lesli would be so happy.
Would she? Perhaps it’s just a wild fantasy of hers she never plans on carrying out.
He looks down at the broken lock.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about that.
He reaches forwards a shaking hand to touch the handle again. Clenching his fingers tight around the handle, his hand stops shaking. The cold metal warms against his skin, and he gives the door a gentle tug. Peeking out slightly, he cringes as the hinges creak.
It’s not like anyone is here to see me….
Why am I so nervous?
Tauren listens. The sound of heavy breathing echoes from somewhere around him. Tauren whips around to look behind him, his hand still fastened tight to the handle.
Leave. Leave.
You should really leave.
Tauren doesn’t heed the warning he gives himself. He remains motionless, frozen to the handle.
Just let go.
He wills himself to let go, but his hand remains tight. Tauren frantically looks behind himself again.
Nothing there.
He looks back to his hand on the door, trying make himself do something. Anything.
Lesli would do it.
He creaks it open a few more inches, only to hear a loud grunt from somewhere around him. Tauren again whips around, looking down the hallway behind him.
Nothing. Again.
You’re imagining things.
Tauren tries to ignore the sound and remains held fast to the handle. Adrenaline pumps through his veins, but he tries to remain calm.
I don’t like this.
I should really go.
Tauren lets go of the handle, rubbing his hand on his other arm to try to warm it back up.
Well… I’ll tell Lesli.
She might want to go out there then…
…and she’ll want me to go with her.
He leans against the wall, allowing himself to sink to the dirty floor of the mines.
If Lesli was here, she’d be heading out there in an instant.
He stands up, looking around the mine, and back to the lock on the ground. Walking over to it, he kicks the lock slightly, listening to its rattling scrape against the floor.
“Who’s there?”
Tauren startles. He looks off behind himself.
Nowhere to run.
Nobody approaches from behind.
Where?
Tauren looks back to the trapdoor. It slowly eases forwards, a hand from the other side pushing it open.
Woah, woah, woah. I need to get out of here.
Tauren stands still, panic racking his conscious. The door opens a little more, revealing the dirty face of another miner.
Is that a railworker—
No time to contemplate. He’s seen me, and I shouldn’t be here. What if I’ve just ruined Lesli’s dream, by trying to help?
“Tauren?” A familiar voice calls from behind the trapdoor. “That you?”
Tauren turns around.
hehe cliffhanger XDXD
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Um…yeah, CLIFFHANGER!
The absolute best cliffhanger that makes me want to yell, “WHO IS IT?”
I have a guess. But I won’t say. 😉
So, overall, really great writing!!!
I just had one question, which I meant to ask after I read this part on the second to last section you posted:
“Bobby.” A familiar voice comes from the figure bending down next to him. “I need to take you home. Either you get up and walk, or I carry you home.”
Bobby looks up with big brown eyes, and for a moment, stops crying. Wiping his nose on his sleeve, he furrows his thin eyebrows in indecision. Bobby dramatically flops on the ground in a heap of tears, and his wailing starts again.
“Alright kiddo. Have it your way.” Layson heaves the child up onto his shoulder with a sigh.
I wasn’t sure exactly who Layson was. It seemed like Tauren knew him already from somewhere, but I couldn’t remember if you’d already introduced him in a previous chapter, so as a reader I was thinking, “Wait, who’s this guy?”
That might be because this section was revised, and you’re planning to have already introduced him. So if you’re still working on everything that’s great and this comment is irrelevant. 😀 😀
He must increase, but I must decrease.
- Rank: Wise Jester
- Total Posts: 76
I love the sentence “rough with age, but soft with the memories of childhood.” I think it really captures the essence of Lesli’s childhood, before her parents were divorced.
Thank you!!
@booksandbeakers
Thanks! That scene was one of my favorite to write, and I really felt like it was coming from the heart (I hope you get what I mean, that sounds cringy lol).
Thanks for the feedback! It’s hard for me to imagine what you guys remember. He’s showed up a couple of times, but hasn’t had any real character stuff to make him memorable. I’ll try to add that before he becomes important. Thanks a lot, that would have caused issues down the road 😀
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
I LOVE the last few chapters you’ve posted! Especially Layson . . . he’s so sweet with the kids. 😍😍 I might read it all again tomorrow but I just had to say great job with everything! I love the emotions and I’m definitely hooked!
Be brave. Be strong. Be bold.
-Christopher Blakewell@arien thank you so much! It makes me more motivated and inspired to write when I know people are liking it 🙂
And ikr? Layson is so sweet with the kids 😭
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Also, some chibi art of Tauren! This has gotta be the cutest chibi I’ve ever drawn 😭
OH MY GOODNESS! You are super talented!!!!!! XD XD
I am going to start at the beginning and read your story tonight. 🙂
Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo
OH MY GOODNESS! You are super talented!!!!!! XD XD
Thank you!! 💛💛
It took me a lot of tries to find my style with chibis, everyone does them a little differently, so it’s hard to use other artists work for reference. (which is in general how i learn with art 😂, just copy other peoples stuff until you get it right)
I am going to start at the beginning and read your story tonight. 🙂
Aw thanks for taking the time! <3
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
“Well, that’s very lucky for you.” She looks up at Tauren, but her gaze seems to look down.
Loved this!!! 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
Wow. I totally love how you do the italics and write what your characters are thinking or write flashbacks. It was a great read and I want to know WHO is behind the door. I have a hunch who it might be. 😄
Again, keep up the good work. BTW the Tauren/Lesli relationship is so cute and special. XD
Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo
Thank you so much! 💛
Idk exactly what my style of flashbacks is, but it comes from the fact I wanted my seriestot be a graphic novel, and flashbacks just tend to happen when a character is in there own thoughts for a bit in graphic novels. I’m glad you like it! 😁
And who could be behind that door?
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
@arien @starofthenorth @theloonyone @loopylin @lightoverdarkness6 @felicity @esther-c @whalekeeper @orielle21 @freedomwriter76
@booksandbeakers ( I know you said you weren’t super tech savy, so I figured I’d make sure you knew how to find all the chapters here, there’s roughly ten and I wasn’t sure you’d read them all, because your reply was based on something from my very first post (nothing wrong with that) This chapter won’t make much sense without the others. There’s a place to change pages at the bottom of the forum, there should be about 11 here (Saying this because I heard you saying in another forum you were confused about the pages for a bit). The second chapter I think is on page 3, you’ll see a lot of art and writing mumbo jumbo of us talking in between 😂 we get kinda off topic sometimes XD ) So sorry if you already knew all that, just wanted to be sure so you didn’t miss a crucial chapter and be confused 😃
I totally forgot to tag you on the previous chapter! ^^^
(oops XD)
Next chapter!
Should I answer that? Or just leave?
“Y-yeah…” Tauren stutters nervously, facing the door. He plants his feet firmly in the ground, trying to ignore how his body trembles.
“You shouldn’t be here.” Layson says, swinging down through the trapdoor to land on the ground.
“Layson?” Tauren says, confused. “Well, you shouldn’t be here either.”
Layson paces the short width of the hallway. He rubs the back of his head anxiously.
“Why are you here?” Tauren asks. “You…” He glances down to the lock. “…Broke that?”
Layson remains silent.
“I–.” He stops. “It was for a reason. “Just-“
“Oh, I wouldn’t tell anyone.” Tauren finishes Layson’s thought.
Oh, wait…
“I mean–“Tauren pauses. “I would want to tell Lesli–“
“Yeah, you… really can’t.” Layson says, crossing his arms to hide his shakiness. Layson’s eyes grow wide with fear.
“I’ll be in really big trouble—” Layson furrows his brow.
Arg. Somebody saw me.
He puts both of his hands on his head as he paces the width of the mine, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.
“You’re not going to tell anyone you saw me here then?” Tauren asks.
“Well—” Layson stares hard at the floor. “Might I—”
Layson looks back at Tauren realizing his problem.
“Ok how about this. Neither of us tell anyone.” He says.
“Hm.” Tauren paces too. “I—It just makes things harder for me. That’s all. I want to tell Lesli the lock is broken.”
“Oh.” Layson looks over at the broken lock. “I think you can tell her that much. Don’t tell her it was me though.”
“Sure.” Tauren says.
“She wants out?” Layson asks, still looking at the lock. “Oh—”
“What?”
“I just realized how messy this can become. Sooner or later, they’re going to realize the lock is broken, and if you two are anywhere near it you’ll be blamed.”
“Oh—yeah.” Tauren says nervously. “That’s a problem.”
“I guess they will replace the lock soon anyways.” He adds.
“Oh, I suppose. I only need a couple more days or so…” Layson looks back out the trapdoor, into the large tunnel of rails.
“I mean, could you tell me what you were doing?” Tauren laughs. “I’m kinda curious.”
Layson returns to crossing his arms. “I really can’t. I would want too… but people would be really mad at me if they figured it out.”
“What, like how mad?”
“Like… really mad. I might not be able to come back.” Layson says, a hint of sadness in his voice.
“So then why did you do it?” Tauren asks, noticing the somber tone.
“I had too. For them—” Layson sighs. “I’m sorry I can’t tell you more. I wish I could. But I just—”
“I really could get kicked out.” Layson says, leaning against the dirty mine walls. “I’d prefer not to”
“Prefer? I’d think it’s a bit stronger than that.” Tauren jokes, scraping at the dust on the floor with his boot.
Layson shrugs in reply. “I’d hate to leave my family, I guess. That’s the worst of it.”
Layson covers his face with his hands.
“Ughhh this was so dumb.” He shakes his head.
I have to finish what I started though.
Tauren watches him pace anxiously.
“What’s wrong?”
Layson looks up, his expression still laced with stress.
“I-“ He looks back at the trapdoor. “I made a kind of rash decision, and I think it’s going to backfire.”
“Hm.” Tauren glances at his watch. “Well, I won’t ask anymore.”
“I should head home soon. If you don’t mind…”
Tauren moves closer to the mine trapdoor, slowly peering outside. A large tunnel, about 15 feet in diameter, moves perpendicular to them. Rails and minecarts line the tunnel, and small side paths rise next to the main track. Tauren backs away from the exit.
“What do you think?” Layson asks with a light laugh.
“Oh! Well, I guess I thought I’d get to look outside…that’s definitely not it, right?” Tauren asks, turning back towards Layson.
“No yeah. It takes a bit more to get there–” Layson’s eyes grow wide.
I’m talking too much.
“We should get out of here before I say something I shouldn’t.” Layson says, covering his fear with a nervous laughter.
“Oh! Sure.”
The two of them walk towards the exit.
“You should take another way back.” Layson says, pausing in the pathway.
“Why?” Tauren laughs. “I was just going to ask how your shift went.”
“Oh! It was alright. You—”
They both turn at the sound of boots thudding on the floor of the adjacent mine.
“You um—just—” Layson pauses. ”get away from me.” Layson frantically motions for Tauren to leave.
“You don’t want to be seen near me.”
“Oh, uh sure.” Tauren starts down another path, confused by Layson’s odd behavior. “Bye.”
“Yeah. See you later.” Layson stands poised in the intersection of the two mine hallways, listening for movement again.
I’ve never seen Layson act like that before.
Tauren gives one last glance back before quickening his pace.
“You don’t want to be seen near me”
I have no idea what that’s about, but whatever it is, He’s right. I don’t want to get blamed for it.
Don’t run now, that’ll only look suspicious. But do try to get out of here in one piece.
Tauren walks along the mines passages quickly, ignoring the urge to run.
What would Layson be up too?
It has to be pretty bad for him to be too scared to stop and talk, he’s always up for a conversation.
Tauren remembers the exact moment he met Layson, nearly 5 years ago.
Tauren grips the legs of his school desk.
Two years of school without Les, how am I going to make it?
He looks down at the clean wooden tabletop of his desk.
“Wanna play cards with me?” An older blond kid next to him smiles in his direction.
“Oh—I don’t know how.” Tauren grips his desk tighter.
This whole place feels foreign without Les.
“I’ll show you!” The boy pulls out a stack of cards and shuffles them, allowing them to spring back into his hand.
“Woah, how did you do that?”
“I practiced.” The boy smiles wide. “I saw my dad doing it once, I told myself I would learn too.”
“Your name’s Tauren, right? 6th grade?”
“Yeah.”
“Layson. I’m in 6th grade too.” He pauses. “I’m actually older though. I was held back in 3rd grade.”
“You got held—” Tauren pauses, realizing he sounds rude. ”Oh.”
“Haha, yep! You’ve gotta be pretty dumb to be held back in the mining district.” Layson laughs.
“Here’s your hand.” Layson gives him some cards.
Tauren spreads them out on the table in front of him.
“Oh! You can’t let me see them!” Lasyon laughs.
“And Thanks for playing cards with me. Nobody wants to.”
“Why nobody?” Tauren collects his cards into a stack again.
“I think because I got held back. Most kids want friends their own age. I figured you wouldn’t mind though because you’ve already got one friend who’s older.”
“Oh, yeah!” Tauren perks up at the mention of Lesli.
“Ok, anyways, I’ll try my best to explain how this works.”
Tauren opens the door to the mine’s breakroom with a creak. He glances down at his watch.
Woah, I was back there for over 30 minutes. I need to get home soon, or I’ll start getting questions.
Removing his hard hat, Tauren flips off the light and tucks it back into the appropriate cubby.
Ok, now let’s get out of here.
Tauren grabs his satchel and walks out the door, swinging it onto his shoulder. Trying to look casual, he walks out the mines exit with a relaxed gate, despite the desire to bolt home. Tauren fumbles briefly with his keys before unlocking the door. The door jerks open, much louder than he wanted.
“Hello! You’re home late!” Aleshia looks over at the door from the kitchen while pulling a loaf of bread out of the oven.
Tauren flips on the entryway light, illuminating his tired face.
“Hi!” He quickly waves, then heads into the back of the house before Aleshia can say more.
Calm down.
Wow, this makes me nervous. I’m not sure I ever want to do something like that again.
Tauren drops off his satchel on the bedroom floor, then heads out to another room.
I just need to act normal. Do what you always do after work like nothing changed.
Tauren takes off his glasses, setting them on the bathroom counter. He turns the water to hot, letting it run over his hands.
Why does this always take so long to warm up?
Tauren cups his hands in the sink, allowing them to fill up with water. Splashing it up onto his face, he rubs off the dirt and grime of the mines.
I never understand how dirt gets on my face so easily. I must touch something dirty, then touch my face?
Tauren opens his eyes, ignoring the sting of water dripping into them. He watches the dirty water swirl down the sink drain with satisfaction. Taking a towel off the rack to the side, he rubs the water off his face and wrings out his now wet bangs. Tauren narrows his eyes at his reflection in the mirror. His bangs, now wet, no longer conceal the acne along one side of his forehead. He sighs, puts on his glasses, and heads back to his room.
***
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
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