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Your revised plot sounds great! I like Afterthoughts the best, I think.
Sometimes it’s hard to change things in your plot/story (that’s why my first book still sounds like a nine-year-old’s writings lol) So good for you for sticking with it! 😊
Dark is the Shadow, and yet my heart rejoices.
Ok! I’ll probobly go with that one, It seems to be the general consensus. Oh Thanks for the support!
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Thanks! Not sure how much I’ll change, I might wait until I’m done with the first draft and have a better feel for the direction.
I’ll probobly go with the afterthoughts or afterthoughts, it seems to be what people like the best.
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
So, as a girl who had to completely SPLIT her first book into two books, I am with you in whatever you do girl!!! I GOT YOUR BACK!!! *dramatic anime fist pump XD*
In all seriousness, I too have had major plot upheavals before, the biggest being when I realized that my first book in my series, which actually would’ve been the one introducing Lyn, needed to be a separate book altogether, and that I needed first to introduced everyone to Ara and November, thus needing to make Lyn’s book an entirely other book….yea…. But, in truth, it works soooo much better this way, and im so glad I did it.
That being said, You have to do whatever feels/seems best and whatever God tells you to do with your series! Also id love to see some of the comic stuff, and new stuff here! I just like reading XD
Also also, XD, About the titles, I think Afterthoughts is a really cool title for the first book!
To me, I really like One word titles that grab you, and since your doing a series, once u grab someone in the first book you’ll (hopefully) already have their interest peaked for the next.
I would maybe suggest doing something like Afterthoughts: Hate or something for the next books, instead of Afterthoughts OF hate? But maybe thats just me. Again, titles like that tend to grab me more then when they have The, or Of in them. Its just the way some human minds work, we tend to prefer things that grab us without the extras. But again, its totally up to you!
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebSo sorry I’m just now replying! I agree that Afterthoughts definitely makes me want to read your book. I did have one suggestion though, I’m sorry it’s late . . . What about Aftermath? Of course, I don’t know your whole plot but aftermath seems to describe more how your book is about the world after it’s been destroyed. I don’t know how much you get into people thinking about what happened (afterthoughts) rather than describing what it’s like (aftermath). But that’s just a suggestion, you know your story best!
As far as the revision goes, you totally got this! We’re all supporting you! 😊 And I’m praying for you! ❤️
Be brave. Be strong. Be bold.
-Christopher BlakewellOh! Thanks for the suggestion. I want the cover to say have the title coming in from the top of the page (the surface? Forshadowing) in a thought bubble, so I’m trying to keep “Thoughts” a part of it. Thank you sooo much for the support! It mean the world to me to not feel like I’m tackling this alone! 😊
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
So, as a girl who had to completely SPLIT her first book into two books, I am with you in whatever you do girl!!! I GOT YOUR BACK!!! *dramatic anime fist pump XD*
Haha thanks! *Fist pumps too*
Wow, that sounds like a major plot change.
I suppose you are the master of plot upheavals at this point 😂 you seem to have some experience lol
That being said, You have to do whatever feels/seems best and whatever God tells you to do with your series! Also id love to see some of the comic stuff, and new stuff here! I just like reading XD
Lol thanks! I might share one sometime, but wow, they are extremely time consuming, even when done digitally. I honestly wasn’t expecting it to take so long 😅
Also also, XD, About the titles, I think Afterthoughts is a really cool title for the first book!
Thanks!
To me, I really like One word titles that grab you, and since your doing a series, once u grab someone in the first book you’ll (hopefully) already have their interest peaked for the next.
Oh, ok!
I would maybe suggest doing something like Afterthoughts: Hate or something for the next books, instead of Afterthoughts OF hate? But maybe thats just me. Again, titles like that tend to grab me more then when they have The, or Of in them. Its just the way some human minds work, we tend to prefer things that grab us without the extras. But again, its totally up to you!
Ok, thanks for the advice! I considered doing osmthing similair myself, but wasn’t sure exactly how. If I do go with that, shich I might, I would do something like this:
Book 1
Afterthought of hate
book 2
Ok it gets hard here. Book two is totally different, follows a different plot structure, and is currently called “Layson’s journey”
I think I would do somehting like, “Afterthoughts of a traveler” but like better XD
After writing it I might have a better feel for it.
Book 3 is mostly about Kaine and my new character Kendrick’s mental struggles, and I have no idea about a title. And ofc, if it goes comic style it will be volumes that might be shorter and I have no idea about that lol.
Thank you for the support! It means so much to me!! 💛
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
@theloonyone @godlyfantasy12 @loopylin @esther-c @arien @whalekeeper @starofthenorth @lightoverdarkness6
Another chapter, this ones kinda short.
and no art because I did anatomy art this week. Some of it did feature Tauren but it was mostly a bunch of eyes, feet, and ears. Which doesn’t associate with my writing that much. XD
Keiryn looks away uncomfortably.
People, ‘like me’.
But they don’t love me.
Keiryn fiddles with the buttons on his blazer.
I thought having so many friends would make me feel great.
He shakes his head at the memory, only a couple days old and still stewing. Keiryn walks down the hallway towards his unit. Stopping in front of the door, he opens his bag to look for his keys.
“Stupid keys…” Keiryn mutters under his breath as he digs through his bag.
“Why can’t I fin—”
He pauses in front of the door.
“Hey, there was one more thing I wanted to say about that conversation.”
Keiryn looks up at the door, listening to the muffled voices from the inside.
“Yeah?”
That’s Lesli and… I don’t recognize the other voice.
“What do you think about it?”
Keiryn hesitates, keys in hand.
I feel like I’m intruding on a moment.
“Me?” Lesli’s questioning voice hums through the door.
“Our world must be really old. Can you imagine what the previous people would have thought…” Lesli’s voice becomes inaudible.
“I think they would have been distraught.” A male voice replies, very close to the door.
“Can anything really be, ‘beyond repair’’?” Lesli says longingly.
“I don’t know.” The other voice replies.
Keiryn edges closer to the door.
“I want to visit someday.” Lesli says.
She does. How did I know? Just gut instinct, I guess.
“You want to go—like there?” The voice close to the door says. “It’s probably dangerous.”
If I went up first, I could tell them if it were dangerous or not. I suppose that would be nice of me.
But what would I gain? I can’t brag I went to the top because I would be made an outcast. Besides, Lila won’t go with me, and she’s the only one who knows.
“Is it?” Lesli asks.
“It just…Seems like a grand adventure that’s all.” Her voice softens.
Yeah. She just wants to go have some fun.
I get it.
I need to stop listening, this feels kinda personal or something.
Keiryn looks at the floor.
I should have stopped sooner.
He turns the key in the door. Pushing it open, his eyes meet Lesli’s.
“Hi.” Keiryn looks down at his shoes, his eyes roving the porcelain tiles of the entryway.
“Hello!” Lesli responds cheerfully.
Keiryn looks away with a hint of shame. He walks back to his room and sets his bag down on his bed before returning out to the kitchen.
Lesli rummages through the cold room, handing up various things to Tauren, which he sets on the counter.
“We have raspberries.” Lesli says, with a hint of sadness.
“Woah, really?” Tauren replies.
“Yeah.” Lesli hands him a small container. “It’s nice getting to have them more than once a year.” She says with a sarcastic laugh.
“Yeah.”
“You can have some of those.” She adds.
“Oh, thanks.” Tauren says gratefully. “It’s been a long time.”
He laughs awkwardly, noticing Keiryn behind him, filling up a water glass at the sink. Keiryn sits down at the kitchen table with some homework and a pen. He sighs, flipping through a textbook and laying it out on the table in front of him.
Tauren and Lesli walk out of the kitchen and sit at the opposite end of the table. Keiryn taps his pen on the table absentmindedly. Tauren glances over.
If he seems like such a jerk sometimes, why does he want to do his homework out here with us? I’ll never understand the contradiction.
Tauren shakes his head, then looks down at his plate. Lesli pops a raspberry into her mouth.
“What you workin’ on?” Lesli asks, looking down the table at Keiryn.
“Math.” Keiryn answers quietly. He leans over his work self-consciously.
“You’re always working on math it seems.”
“I suppose it never ends.” Keiryn rolls his eyes, his usual confident nature nearly showing itself.
Tauren gnaws on a couple of raspberry seeds before swallowing them.
“Les, if there was light in your stomach do you think the seeds would grow?” Tauren says with a laugh, leaning back in his chair.
Lesli smiles at Tauren’s childlike comment. “I dunno. I suppose I’m glad they don’t.”
“Well, I suppose you’d never get hungry if you had a bush growing in your stomach.” Tauren adds.
They laugh, Lesli nearly spurting out a mouthful of water. She instead lightly pounds the table with her fist to express herself.
Keiryn watches from the other side with a longing gaze. Tauren glances over, and Keiryn quickly looks away.
I feel like there’s two different types of laughing. The one you actually mean and only do around real friends, because it’s kinda ugly, and the smaller one that is empty and just used as a tool.
Keiryn doodles around with his pen on his paper, pretending to be busy.
“Why did you get spinach if you weren’t going to eat it?” Tauren asks, eyeing the small pile of greens on the edge of Lesli’s plate.
“I dunno.” She pokes it with her fork. “I’ll eat it.”
Tauren watches with anticipation, finishing the last of his toast. Lesli grimaces as she prods it with her fork, listening to the water squish out of it. Keiryn smiles but turns away from them to face the wall and regain his indifferent composure.
“Eeeew.” She languishes at the sight of her demise.
“I like spinach. I don’t understand your issue with it.” Tauren says matter of factly, picking a crumb off his plate.
“Do you want it?” She says, looking up at Tauren.
“No! You’re literally dragging it around your plate with your fork. Of course, I don’t want it.” Tauren states with fake offence.
Lesli laughs, a large smile cracking across her face. Her eyes meet Tauren’s, and he smiles back at her.
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
@mineralizedwritings AWW KEIRYN 😭 Ok honestly he’s my favorite character 😅
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebI’m so glad you like him!😃
He’s one of the most relatable tbh, imo we’ve all felt like him at some point.
(You didn’t have a problem with his eavesdropping? XD I thought people would hate it!)
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
@mineralizedwritings considering I’m a snoopy snooperton and really wanna listen in on conversations too even tho I can’t no I wasn’t angry at him!
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebOh, y’know I’m having a hard time writing keiryn how I planned…. I just keep wanting to make him nice XD that was supposed to be a mildly infuriating moment, but I’ve already revealed his struggle so Ig it doesn’t hit the same when you can sympathize with him.
Initially I wanted him to be a hateble character, but I just like him too much XD
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Okay, I just wanna give Lauren and Lesli a big friend group hug, I needs it so bad
“Everything is a mountain”
I’m sorry I’m so late on this!! I like Afterthoughts the best. It grabbed my attention when I saw that. Thanks for asking our opinions!!
Oh, and I LOVED the chapter, especially now that my characters are kinda getting to know yours in the castle, but GIRL!! I love Tauren!! And Lesli! That part when he made her laugh and she almost sprayed across the table 🤣🤣😅 It was so cute. I actually did that the other day. My dad is always making me laugh. I was eating a granola bar and milk, and my dad just out of nowhere says something hilarious, and I sprayed milk all over the table!! 🤣 Yeah, that was fun. Poor Kieryn!! I like him…a lot. 😂
#HugRikerSquad
Ok, I’m still not sure 😅 trying to consider how the first title fits into the 2nd and 3rd, thanks for the feedback!
Glad you liked it! And glad you thought that scene with Tauren and Lesli was cute. And yeah, poor Keiryn.🤣
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
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