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A fortnight ago, by happenstance, I stumbled back upon my old, abandoned village here in the Kingdom of Pen. As I gazed upon the empty landscape, run-down buildings, and the sun sinking into the horizon, something wasn’t quite right. In fact, there was something terribly wrong. The same feeling you get when you go on a roadtrip, and then wonder if you forgot to turn off the lights and turn off the coffee maker or not. Something is missing. Or is there? A mixture of fear, dread, and confusion. Something must be done, but you’re not sure what to do.
Then it hit me.
The reason for all of this ravenous inner turmoil, was because of the absence of THE greatest figure in all of Kingdom Pen history. Nor shall there ever be a figure as great ever again.
That person…. is yours truly.
And I have returned to restore Kingdom Pen back to its former glory.
Now, quick description of yours truly:
Funny, handsome, smart, epic, confident, lacking in flaws. (My grandmother agrees)
A little about me:
- I used to despise food, but I’m a proud food enjoyer now. It’s called a character arc.
- My old Taekwondo instructor got too intimidated by me, so he had to retire
- I am the #1 Wingfeather Saga hater. Anyone who disagrees with me will be mysteriously assassinated within the next couple of days (not on the weekends tho)
- Hobbies: Looking in the mirror. Protein powder. Skulking within the depths of dark caves of New Zealand.
Welcome back to the forum, to me.
I accept friend requests from anyone worthy (After all, I am the best member of this server)
@William-Starkey Get back here NOWFlawless and handsome (as ruled by my grandmother.)
- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
- Total Posts: 692
@not-so-secret-secret-assassin
I don’t know about any of that. I’m actually in a secret spy club now and will find all of those hidden flaws. 😇🕵♀️
I love the Wingfeather Saga and you shall never kill me. 😇 I will always come back to life. 🤭
@not-so-secret-secret-assassin
*waltzes in*
It took you fourteen days to decide to come back? Anyway…
In the ages long ago when I stalked KP, I came upon your post about the Wingfeather Saga, and believed every word. Now whenever I am barraged with WS love, I just smile and let it pass. I even tried convincing my brother that they weren’t all they were cracked up to be. (He didn’t believe me.)
I’m not knocking any of my dear friends who love WS. Please don’t be offended.Now, long lost assassin, I challenge you to prove that you are the glory of Kingdom Pen.
*fingers my épée du combat*
He must increase, but I must decrease.
You spoke so highly of me. Why have you suddenly decided to challenge me to a duel?
*Grasps coupe-ongles*
Flawless and handsome (as ruled by my grandmother.)
@not-so-secret-secret-assassin
Tis not wise to let just anyone claim the throne of Kingdom Pen without making him prove his worth.
He must increase, but I must decrease.
I’ve been praying for days like these. Welcome back Sir Mr. @not-so-secret-secret-assassin . ‘Tis an honor to have you in our company.
Also, this is my first time hearing of protein powder as a hobby. Good to know.
@not-so-secret-secret-assassin
Why hello.
Glad you decided to come back, although I must disagree about the wingfeather saga with you. And all 7 of my mc’s will run to protect me if you try anything of the sort. Everly’s scary good with a bow. Beware.
I will heartily agree with anyone who says the first book is terrible, I read it out of boredom and continued the series solely for Artham’s arc. I think there’s something to be said about a series with minimal violence (although it has some creepy stuffs in later books) not everyone can handle it and I think it fills a good gap in the market for sensitive peoples who still want some action. I totally get it’s got some flaws though, especially in book one.
You say you are lacking in flaws, perhaps your most blaring flaw is your trusting your Grandmothers opinion of your lack. : 0
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
@felicity @not-so-secret-secret-assassin
Tis not wise to let just anyone claim the throne of Kingdom Pen without making him prove his worth.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE!
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
@not-so-secret-secret-assassin
Hello. Quite the RE-introduction. Nice to meet you.Question…do you write? (After all this is a writing forum). If so what is your preferred genre?
Man, I hope your mirror is something to look at. Or maybe it’s the reflection?What is your favorite flavor of protein powder?
Are you a LOTR fan? If so, I am posting my fan fiction story based on the Hobbit in parts here on KP.
Welcome back. ☺️
Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo
@not-so-secret-secret-assassin
The Throne-Worthy Dual:
Stroke First: The contestant must be strong. How many push-ups can you do in a row?
He must increase, but I must decrease.
@not-so-secret-secret-assassin
Imma go ahead and warn you now that I’m fairly liable to misunderstand you. 😅
The reason for all of this ravenous inner turmoil, was because of the absence of THE greatest figure in all of Kingdom Pen history. Nor shall there ever be a figure as great ever again.
That person…. is yours truly.
Eh…I think God is the greatest figure in Kingdom Pen history. Maybe you’re 2nd.
Funny, handsome, smart, epic, confident, lacking in flaws.
..humble, too. 😉
Hobbies: Looking in the mirror. Protein powder. Skulking within the depths of dark caves of New Zealand.
XD I would question if you’re one of my cousins with the vibes you’re giving off, but the New Zealand thing + the fact you’re on here doesn’t fit.
I like your name, by the way.
And I second Orielle’s question about your writing.
@felicity @mineralizedwritingsTis not wise to let just anyone claim the throne of Kingdom Pen without making him prove his worth.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE!
*pulls out scroll to account the duel* *puts sunglasses on* *watches the ensuing chaos*
"...I did not say to the seed of Jacob, 'Seek Me in vain..."
(Part of) Isaiah 45:19@not-so-secret-secret-assassin
Welcome back! I also stalked KP for a while before joining, (who hasn’t? XD) and I saw your post about Wing Feather Saga. Unfortunately, I am in love with WFS and nothing, nothing, will change that. 🙂 But I totally see what you mean about parts of it being boring, and Andrew Peterson could’ve done a lot better with some things, but I guess he must have improved a lot between the first book and the last, and couldn’t go back to change it. That’s what worries me about writing a series 🙁😩.
I have been thinking about taking self defense lessons tho! If you are as formidable as you suppose, maybe we could have a temporary truce and you teach me a few things XDXD. Either you or my character Dylan. He is a fearsome warrior when it comes to protecting his family. 😅
So, even tho you’re not new, I’d like to ask you a few questions to get to know you a little better 😁!
1. What’s your preferred genre to write in?
2. Which of your characters are most like you?
3. What is your WIP about?
4. What is your favorite books? (since you don’t like WFS 😉)
Anyway, welcome back, and I hope you have a blessed time here! ❤😀
#HugRikerSquad
@not-so-secret-assassin
I am commenting on WFS because I must avenge the book that made me bawl my eyes out, gave me anxiety and depressed me for two-three days!
And you cannot kill me because that series already did.
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@not-so-secret-secret-assassin
Assassin black
nose in the sky
with muscles vast
his voice cry “Fie!”
Who’s ravens rage
and thunders roll
fear and fright
fall at his call.
Bane of the books
Featherwig tales
KP trembles
at his hails.
Do not speak
of this yarn
or a sharp shaft
will do you harm.
He shows once more
at our shacks
knocks down the door
a king?
Perhaps?
Yet, such a fiend!
Yet, such a knack
to furnish mirth!
So. . .
I welcome you back!
You will love what you spend time with.
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