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I have a character who I won’t name because some of you might know them, but they’re about to die and they know it.
Any tips on how they can have an impactful last day with their friends?
If anyone also has questions related to mine they’d like to ask here, feel free 🙂
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#AnduthForever (đź’•)Hm. I have a couple characters who go through the same thing. One has a few days, the other has a suspicion of their own death and only becomes sure of it in the last few hours.
I think it depends on how much of a communicator they are, and what kind of legacy they want to leave behind.
Character A might tell his friends immediately (or not long after he finds out) because he feels strongly connected to them, doesn’t want to be dishonest, or would feel alone if he kept the secret to himself. Character B, on the other hand, might not want to worry his friends on his last day. It would be difficult for some people to have their friends crying and loving all over them.
Many fictional characters just don’t tell anyone. Instead, they write letters for their loved ones and leave them somewhere for later. They might be extra appreciative of their friends and family, giving them extra hugs or caring words. They want to leave a loving impression before they go.
Everyone wants to leave a good legacy. However they decide to leave it, it can give real insight into their development over the course of the story, or insight into their deepest vulnerability and insecurities. This part depends on what your character is like.
Anywho, that’s how I do it, and how many writers and directors do it.
"If I don't like something, it's probably sanctification. Ugh." -E.C.S.
This had better not be Baron!
I’ve been wondering this too. One of my characters is in a similar predicament. Like Whaley suggested, she wrote letters to those she loved. Some of this will depend on whether your character is at peace with their death or not. *subscribes because I’m stuck too*
To err is human; to arr is pirate.
Whaley and Ducky have great advice! *takes notes* I don’t have much practice with fiction in this department, but this is a great question, so I’ll share my thoughts.
I’ve been with a few people in the days or even hours before they died, but they were all very ill and usually could not communicate. However, notes from what I have heard are:
Last words. These aren’t usually as dramatic as fiction makes them, but they can be really important as they will either comfort or distress a person’s survivors. They are also not often right before the person passes, instead expressed earlier depending on the person’s cognitive awareness. (In fact, they might work as a more subtle form of foreshadowing.) I’ve heard of about four kinds.
Last advice. This is usually from older people, but not always. It’s usually really simple, but not always.
Words of comfort. For instance, the cancer ridden son telling his mother it’ll be okay, God is taking him home. Or the older saint telling his pastor he still believes in God’s power and plan.
Regret. This is really sad, and can push the giving of advice into expressing despair.
Forgiveness. It could be forgiing an enemy, or even be as simple as a young woman with brain cancer making sure there she had not offended her friends in some way.
From literature specifically, I loved it when the Wingfeather family sings to *Spoiler* as he quietly slips away from life. This paused the moment and emphasized the relationship between them all while not interrupting the pace of the story like a Shakespearian monologue would. In Ember Rising, I liked how *Spoiler* shouts encouragement to the young bucks he sent as messengers right before his band is overwhelmed. It underscored everything he lived for, and it really impacted me the first time I read it. And I could think of more, but this has been long enough. XD
I will say, I have never been with someone at the moment of death. I am thankful for that, but I also understand the weight that comes from not being able to say last goodbyes. It hurts for a long time.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
If you’ve ever read White Fang, there’s one part in the beginning where this guy knows he’s going to be eaten by wolves, and as he’s attempting to survive despite them, he’s described as appreciating his body a lot more than he ever did before. For instance, he begins studying his hand and the way it’s made, at the intricacies of each print and the way it moves. You could have something similar to this where the person begins appreciating things he or she never really did before. Or, the character could be in denial the entire time and attempt to do things they put off or never got a chance to do while they were alive (i.e. tell someone they’re sorry, forgive another person, travel somewhere).
“Our house is full of ducks!!!!”
I have a related question. I need help on several other character’s reactions to the fact that one will die, particularly her best friend and grandfather.
To err is human; to arr is pirate.
First off, funny forum signature.
Second, what are the ages of your characters? because in my experience, different ages respond differently to death. Children (under 10 maybe?) usually know that death exists, but aren’t very afraid of it because they don’t understand. Adults, especially people in their 20s, and 40s, for whatever reason, usually are pretty scared of dying. And old people either are scared of death or have the attitude of “I’ve seen enough life. Can I die in peace now?”
It also depends on if they’re Christians or not.
Other than that, their reactions will be based on personality. If they are caring, they will worry about the others, and try to spend quality time with everyone. If they don’t care about everyone else, they’ll probably just stick to themselves.
Is that helpful at all?
You're extra special <3
#AnduthForever (💕)Children (under 10 maybe?) usually know that death exists, but aren’t very afraid of it because they don’t understand.
I’d move that down to 7 or 8 – when it comes to not understanding death at all.
My 9-year-old sister has responded to death with some solid understanding of its impact. Last Sunday, she was being difficult about something, but stopped when she overheard my mom talking about a recent death. She tends to quiet herself whenever she thinks someone else is sad or grieving.
She has also openly talked about the baby graves in the churchyard and how sad it must have been for the families.
I think understanding comes in levels. I’m certain she doesn’t understand everything about death. She doesn’t understand that it might affect her soon (our grandpa is very sick). But she does have empathy, understanding the sadness of other people, even if she isn’t experiencing it herself.
That’s what I’ve noticed in my family. Maybe it depends on how early the parent exposes the child to the concept.
"If I don't like something, it's probably sanctification. Ugh." -E.C.S.
Like the others said, that depends on your characters. (They had some great advice.)
I think it would also depend on how expected/tragic the death was. While doesn’t necessarily lessen grief, it makes a lot of difference in how one processes it. (I think. Not an expert.) In some ways it would be worse, especially if they were separated, with higher levels of dread and fears. In other ways it would be easier because the characters would be able to prepare for it. Either way, grief still happens.
The APA Dictionary of Psychology has some ideas for reactions in it’s definition of grief:
n. the anguish experienced after significant loss, usually the death of a beloved person. Grief is often distinguished from bereavement and mourning. Not all bereavements result in a strong grief response, and not all grief is given public expression (see disenfranchised grief). Grief often includes physiological distress, separation anxiety, confusion, yearning, obsessive dwelling on the past, and apprehension about the future. Intense grief can become life-threatening through disruption of the immune system, self-neglect, and suicidal thoughts. Grief may also take the form of regret for something lost, remorse for something done, or sorrow for a mishap to oneself.
This is a decent article on Middle aged loss/loss of a parent due to “normal” circumstances: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2024/10/grieving-parental-loss-midlife
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
First off, funny forum signature.
*bows* Thank you.
Second, what are the ages of your characters?
The character who knows she’s about to die is about 18, as is her best friend. Her grandfather is 70ish. Her grandfather and best friend are the only ones who know.
It also depends on if they’re Christians or not.
They are not at the moment. I still need to figure out this world’s equivalent to Christianity, but it’s not very popular.
Other than that, their reactions will be based on personality. If they are caring, they will worry about the others, and try to spend quality time with everyone. If they don’t care about everyone else, they’ll probably just stick to themselves.
I’m thinking her grandfather is probably resigned and just trying to spend time with her. Her best friend is probably trying to save her. The girl herself is just terrified.
I remember when my 4yr old sister thanked God in family prayer that she “didn’t die today.” She had been listening to I Survived books with a few of the older kids, so I think a lot of it does depend on exposure. She wasn’t allowed to listen to those books anymore.
I think it would also depend on how expected/tragic the death was. While doesn’t necessarily lessen grief, it makes a lot of difference in how one processes it. (I think. Not an expert.) In some ways it would be worse, especially if they were separated, with higher levels of dread and fears. In other ways it would be easier because the characters would be able to prepare for it. Either way, grief still happens.
For a time, her death is avoided, and the characters begin to think she might live, but they can’t save her. I think this might make it harder because of all of the what ifs. What if we had done that, what if we hadn’t gone to that place, what if we hadn’t made x decision, what if I took better care of her, etc.
Helpful definition. 🙂
To err is human; to arr is pirate.
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