- This topic has 13 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 2 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
If you haven’t read the Baron Chronicles and don’t want a huge spoiler, please don’t read.
So, for those who have read the Baron Chronicles, quick recap. Baron is an assassin who turns away from being an assassin to, originally, find some kind of good in the world to do, feeling beyond forgiveness. Obviously, he does end up getting saved.
But for most the story, he says he, rightly, deserves to die, that he only lives to try and do the little he can to do good in the world, then at the end, after being saved, he goes to die at the hand of the government of Albandra.
I was rereading it, and I have been doubting my ending, and I just thought of it, does it feel like a slap in the face to the reader?
The reader has just watched Baron go on this long, frustrating arc to get him to accept there is hope and forgiveness for him, then he just goes and dies.
Does it feel like the reader has just followed Baron’s story for nothing?
Confuzzled, RAE
(PS. Pfp by SelkieSeal on Unvale. My dear Chase ❤️?)Tags
@ellette-giselle @whalekeeper @keilah-h @theducktator @hybridlore IdkConfuzzled, RAE
(PS. Pfp by SelkieSeal on Unvale. My dear Chase ❤️?)It depends on what a “slap on the face” is. I think a slap on the face is a betrayal of the reader, or unfairly maximizing/minimizing something to manipulate reader emotion, or wasting the reader’s time.
This would be a betrayal if the arc was about survival or hinged on Baron’s survival. But his arc seems entirely spiritual. He’s concluded his arc and has changed his mindset, so he’s going to turn himself in. And that’s a satisfying conclusion.
It is your choice as the author for the punishment to be death, but whether the punishment is death or not doesn’t matter. If the punishment was life in prison, I would not be more or less satisfied. Baron makes the same correct choice either way – that’s what matters.
I am out of signature ideas
I think it’s okay. Like Whaley said, it makes sense that the end of his arc is him turning himself in, because he knows that’s the right thing to do.
When someone reads it, let’s say me, I might not LIKE it (I don’t remember what my reaction to it was when I was beta reading) but the more I think about it the more I’ll understand why, and that in and of itself could be satisfying.
You could also make it so the story just ends with him turning himself in, and don’t necessarily mention point blank that he dies the next day or something, just leave it as the very likely outcome.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Honestly, I don’t remember my initial reaction, you would have to look back at the comments. XD But actually, in my memory (until you just recapped it) he was going to turn himself in and then they were attacked and he was killed protecting Jenna (?) and her family. I like that ending because Baron gave his life for someone instead of taking life…. but then that is also cliche for a redemption story (and cliche is not always bad at all! Some cliches should be used more often. People are constantly shying off from using them and a lot of stories are loosing the rich truth interwoven in many things we refer to as cliche) Okay, done side-tack rambling.
If Baron had someone who depended on him to protect him and he turned himself in, that would be lame and betraying said person. But he doesn’t. (if I remember correctly) So it could work. I guess to make that one really work, it needs to be clear that he’s not at all a suicidal guilty character. If he’s looking to get killed, considering just giving up, etc. etc. Then to have him turn himself in at the end will become a reward for that skewed view. He needs to be fighting to stay alive and wanting to stay alive (for redemption, because he’s afraid of death, because he loves life, etc.) that way if you (the author) and he (the MC) come to the conclusion that the right thing to do would be to turn himself in, it’s a full flip from his past life and views.
Is that making sense.
idk if any of this was clear or not. XD
You could also make it so the story just ends with him turning himself in, and don’t necessarily mention point blank that he dies the next day or something, just leave it as the very likely outcome.
NOOOOO! No. Nonononono. That aggravates me to NO END when books do that. (sorry keilah ?) Some stories can pull off the unknown ending, but if you did it with this one it wouldn’t work. If Baron turns himself in, we need to know the end of it. That will give meaning to his choice and bring completion to his arc.
anyhow, that’s my two cents.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
@ellette-giselle lol it’s not like I’ve ever done that in books so I’m not offended. I’ve just seen it happen.
tbh it is aggravating but it’s not as annoying as some other stuff people do in books so it’s pretty low on my list of Things I Hate In Books.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
In a book like this one it would be up at the top for me. It makes the end fall flat. *shrug*
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
XD But actually, in my memory (until you just recapped it) he was going to turn himself in and then they were attacked and he was killed protecting Jenna (?) and her family. I like that ending because Baron gave his life for someone instead of taking life…. but then that is also cliche for a redemption story (and cliche is not always bad at all! Some cliches should be used more often. People are constantly shying off from using them and a lot of stories are loosing the rich truth interwoven in many things we refer to as cliche)
Lol, we already have a head cannon and the book isn’t even published yet. I am very amused, since I have read back on your comments. You predicted since about halfway in my writing that he would die. After he got saved, the story afterwards was called Farewell. And this was your comment on that:
I saw that coming….. sort of.
I didn’t think he’d go back. I thought he would be killed in a fight.
I’m not sure what to think of that. Hmm.I like it, but almost feel doubtful for liking it.
{…}
Yeah, like i said, I’m still not sure if Baron’s choice was the right one. It’s hard to tell. It is a very interesting question you provoked. It gives the story a slightly bittersweet ending, and it feels like a good completion of his arc. I think I quite like it, honestly!
Then 50 minutes later, you comment:
That ending won’t leave me alone!!!! Now that I’ve had time to really think about it….. man, it’s good. A delayed hit, but a hard one when it gets ya! ?
This comment is actually the only reason the original ending wasn’t booted already.
It is also the reason I made this topic to get different perspectives, especially so long after I originally wrote the story.
I think what I’m going to do is change it so that after Baron meets Andy and Granny, he gets a will to live, that way, like you said, it won’t be suicidal thoughts winning in the end.
This is exactly why I took a break from the story, because I wanted to ending to be a show of fireworks, but at the end, you’ll never see them again forever. Something beautiful in the moment, but once it’s over, everything crashes down. If that makes any sense.
@ellette-giselle @keilahNOOOOO! No. Nonononono. That aggravates me to NO END when books do that. (sorry keilah ?)
Lol. I had to laugh at this one. Don’t worry, Ellette, I have considered this, but decided it would be both mean and would tease a sequel that I don’t think Baron needs. Baron’s arc is done, doing another story with him would be like Disney making all these remakes, worthless and not at all the same as the original.
@whalekeeper @kelah-hThank you! That’s really helpful! I think I know what I’m going to do now!
Confuzzled, RAE
(PS. Pfp by SelkieSeal on Unvale. My dear Chase ❤️?)ah, now it’s all coming back to me. Yeah, give him a will to live and the original ending fits really well. Otherwise it’s juts a little flat, which is why I remembered it the way I expected it to go when I read it the first time. No yeah, It’s coming back now.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
It’s hard for me to answer this because it kind of was a slap, but it also feels like the right way to end it. It made sense and concluded his arc. Like Whaley said, we were never promised he would live nor did his arc hinge on it. I’d file this under “books whose endings I will complain angrily about to my siblings but still recommend highly”, if that makes sense. XD I think you should keep it.
?For our Blessed Lady's sake, bring us in good ale!?
lol, thanks….. but I think that message was for @rae , unless you’re talking about something I wrote…. (which you very well might be with my track record…… XD)
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
XD This is what I get for trying to post when sick… @rae the message several above was for you.
?For our Blessed Lady's sake, bring us in good ale!?
lol. No prob. XD
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
I had an idea today. One way you could also help his death at the end to be really meaningful, is if you have the fact that just because we are saved, we still face consequences for sin here on earth. If you have that be a sort of recurring theme that shows up in small ways throughout the book, it would pan out really nicely in the end.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.