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Hey guyssss! (I tried to post this two days ago but didn’t copy what I wrote, so I gave up after it didn’t post ?? So we shall try again!)
In the third draft of my novel, my FMC’s arc includes her making some bad decisions and going down a path she regrets. But in the midst of the aftermath of those decisions, she is actually kind of enjoying it. I want to keep that part realistic, because she’s either ignoring her convictions or not even realizing her sin. Obviously the entire time she’s not reprimanding herself or recognizing that she’s doing wrong.
The sin she’s getting herself into wouldn’t be considered that bad by the average moral person (of course I understand that in God’s eyes sin is sin no matter how we look at it and deserves punishment, but I’m just describing it that way for reference). So in my writing of her arc, I don’t want to be subliminally sending the message that this sin is acceptable. I feel it’s my duty as an author (and specifically as a Christian author), that I love my readers through my writing, and that includes doing what I can to not glorify sin.
The issue is that my FMC is enjoying it (for a season), and so there seems to be nothing too bad about it. I’m worried that I’m sending little messages that this sin really isn’t so bad or evil. My main concern is finding the balance between not glorifying sin and avoiding writing a sermon into my novel. Any tips or advice??
@whalekeeper @savannah_grace2009 @elishavet-pidyon @koshka @loopylin @theducktator @ellette-giselle @hybridlore @keilah-h @linus-smallprint @highscribeofaetherium @rae @anyoneeeWrite what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Hi Esther. I actually had something similar to deal with in one of my books as well. Here are the two things I would say to keep in mind that will most likely make the difference.
1. There can be a time where the MC believes a lie as long as it is shown to be a lie by the end of the book. (i.e. There are some rough consequences later on for the choices that she’s making, and the character who tends to be “your voice” in the book tells her what she’s doing is wrong, or makes it clear that he/she doesn’t agree.)
2. Are you hurting the innocence of your readers? So, here’s kind of an example from a situation in my current book. (I am writing for an adult audience at this point in my life, but still keeping my books clean of course. Just because I write for older readers doesn’t mean I shouldn’t still keep it clean. All that to say, the situation is for an older audience, just to clarify.)
So, basics are it’s a WWII novel set in France during the Nazi occupation. One of the characters thinks she has “fallen in love” with a Nazi, when in reality he’s a stalker and an evil man. He convinces her to sleep with him and she ends up with a baby and is on the run from him. Now, my MC finds her with the baby and protects the child. Later, the girl’s brother tells the MC what happened and why the baby is in danger. However, he lays it out with about as much detail as I just did on here, and I never wrote any scenes with this girl and the Nazi interacting in order to retain the innocence of possible readers.
Now, your MC is in a much different situation I would guess. But, if you want her to do something that could possibly be exposing your readers to things they have been shielded from, but you need that to happen for the book, I would skip writing the scene itself and make reference to it. Those who know will have all the information they need, and those who don’t don’t need to know much more than the facts of the matter. (i.e. The next evening, so-and-so went to a party and drank for the first time. Or, maybe have her confess it to someone but without a tone of details, etc.)
Idk if that last bit is helpful at all, but I would say go for it just keep in mind that it need to be clear by the end that this was sin, there needs to be consequences (just saying, “oh by the way, this was bad” without showing consequences often makes it into a book where the author says one thing and shows another.) and then remember to error on the side of less detail when in doubt.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
Could you maybe say what specifically she’s doing? I might be able to help more with specifics, but if you want to avoid spoilers, that’s alright.
Every sin has an effect on the person sinning and the people around them, whether visible or not. So even if she’s enjoying herself, you can show how it’s eating away at other parts of her life. Maybe she’s avoiding the people who she knows would correct her, damaging those relationships, or maybe she’s more defensive or anxious around them.
I guess a big question I have is does she know/ has she been taught that what she is doing is wrong?
⭐️World's Slowest Writer⭐️
This is a very good question.
But I suppose it comes down to what the reader sees is going on and what the character sees–and those don’t have to be the same. In this case, shouldn’t be.
I’m in the middle of rereading Screwtape Letters. One of the letters tells about how that sin has pleasure attached, and how that pleasure actually works. You see, it’s not a very good temptation to try and get us to do something that isn’t enticing. People aren’t usually tempted to go murder someone just for murders sake, or steal just to steal–or even lie just to lie. Instead, murder to satisfy rage, to smooth grief by feeling in control, ect. Stealing because you want the satisfaction of having a thing–or of gratifying pride. Lying to avoid discomfort or again to flatter pride, ect. Every sin has these pleasures–some more obvious than others. I appreciate that you’re showing that.
But pleasure fades even as the sin becomes a habit. An addiction. The drug needs a higher and higher dose for the same affect, but the affect itself is less satisfying even as the person feels they can no longer live without it.
That your FMC does enjoy this “pleasure” at first is natural. Maybe show how shallow and fake that pleasure is. It’s brightness fades. It’s sweet at first then bitter. But then, that discomfort afterwards will make her crave the pleasure more, and more uncomfortable with stoping and thinking about what this thing actually is. Humans do not actually want to think ill of themselves. We justify our actions, turn a blind eye to our own redflags. Make sure the reader sees her own pain, how unhappy she now is. Then let her realize it. You don’t have to say why she’s miserable until she realizes why.
And then show how true the Joy of the Lord is. Those pleasures at His right hand don’t fade into sorrow. His comfort isn’t blindness, it’s love.
As for “preachiness”: I tend to think of this as another level of “show don’t tell”. If you told your reader why she’s miserable, that would be on the edge of preaching. And there’s a place for that. John Bunyan preaches throughout Pilgrim’s Progress. But that place isn’t typically in everyday fiction. C. S. Lewis didn’t preach when he showed Edmund cold and miserable in the White Witch’s clutches.
Anyway, I hope that helps a bit. Lol.
A cup of tea is cheaper than therapy.
And I would like to throw in something that might be totally unrelated to what you’re dealing with, but it was a bit of a shock to me and had me seriously rethinking how I address certain topics in my books.
(Warning. Mentions of suicide.)
In my recent Psychology class we discussed aproaches to suicide awareness, and the results were mildly depressing. A big movie company (I don’t at the moment remember which as I rarely watch anything and this is NOT a recommendation for this movie) published a movie called Thirteen Reasons that was in essence supposed to say there’s no good reason for suicide. But that’s not how teens who saw the movie responded. They saw a girl with what were presented as rational reasons kill herself and get the attention in death that she didn’t get in life. It told them that there were reasons–whether they were good or not. On top of that, teens who had never before contemplated ending their lives were now exposed to a whole broken thought process. We saw a major spike in para and completed suicide.
We have to be careful in how we talk about ugly things like this in our books. Listen to what your alpha and beta readers tell you about what they thought the books said, and make sure those readers are among your target audience.
A cup of tea is cheaper than therapy.
Your advice is so so helpful!!
And it drew attention to a weaker part of my book—my FMC identifying the lie she’s been believing and accepting the truth. That turn-around moment is a part I’m still working on, so you pointing that out is awesome. I think right now she’s just been living this lie without experiencing any consequences (other than guilt after the fact). She’s had a couple people call her out on it…sort of. But I’m starting to realize some weak spots in her arc that need some fixing up that include making the lie more obvious, if that makes sense.
Thank you so much!!
Could you maybe say what specifically she’s doing? I might be able to help more with specifics, but if you want to avoid spoilers, that’s alright.
Yeah totally! It’s sort of spoiler…but also not really. Idk XD
Her arc revolves around where she places her worth and identity, what she thinks is worth her commitment and loyalty. Of course she is not finding her worth in God and living for Him. She feels like He’s not enough and that she’ll find more worth and fulfillment in the things of this world, specifically being popular and doing what all the popular girls at school are doing because they seem happy and perfect all the time. It starts small, just hanging out with the wrong crowd (because their flattering her and encouraging her in the wrong ways), but eventually it turns into her compromising her values and making decisions she usually wouldn’t make. She starts disassociating with her Christian friends because her new friend has convinced her that identifying with Jesus gets you nowhere “good.”
How far she goes in compromising her values though is where I’ve kinda been stuck and playing around with the plot. I had originally written it to where she agrees to go to this big party and to stop hanging out with her Christian friends. But there are some things that happen in between that that snaps her out of it and makes her realize how empty it all is. Then as I was working on the third draft, I started playing around with the idea that she does go to this party (doesn’t tell her parents the whole truth about what this party is about), and there realizes that she doesn’t want a part in this anymore. I’m still not sure what happens at the party that makes her change her mind and get turned off from it all, because I’m still a teen and I don’t want the FMC to take it too far, ya know? So the actual details are still forming in my head.
And then a final idea I’ve been thinking about it having her be humiliated or hurt in some way, a way that could have been completely avoided if she hadn’t been making so many bad decisions. Again, details are currently lacking, lol, so I’m not exactly sure what that would look like.
For more context, the turning point of her arc also happens sometime after an important person/role model in her life passes away (he’s 17/18 and my MMC’s best friend, so if affects everyone in the story). He was a sacrificial person and almost always chose Jesus over anything else. Clearly Jesus was worth his world and that’s another thing that brings my FMC to her turning point.
Ok… that was really long (and probably why I didn’t put it in my first post XD). But I hope that can help with context!
Every sin has an effect on the person sinning and the people around them, whether visible or not. So even if she’s enjoying herself, you can show how it’s eating away at other parts of her life.
Yessss, this is kinda what I was mentioning to Ellette. Those consequences are something I need to make more visible/prominent in the story, bc right now it’s kind of lacking.
I guess a big question I have is does she know/ has she been taught that what she is doing is wrong?
Yes. But she keeps trying to justify and reason away why she can get away with it and it not be so bad. So she’s semi-aware that she’s going down the wrong path, but she likes it to much to listen to the Holy Spirit convicting her.
Oh my goodness this is so helpful too!! Y’all are helping me notice so many weak spots in her arc ? Which is sad because it means I have more work to do, but also amazing because I knew something was off about the draft I just didn’t know what. XD But now I do!!
We have to be careful in how we talk about ugly things like this in our books. Listen to what your alpha and beta readers tell you about what they thought the books said, and make sure those readers are among your target audience.
I’ve heard about that book (didn’t know it was a movie), but I had no idea of its effect. That’s crazy. But also a really good eye-opener like you said.
I usually don’t tackle super deep and hard themes like that, but still… That’s definitely going to remind me to be careful about what I put in my books.
I think it falls into the vein of loving your readers (and this goes along with what Ellette said about protecting the innocence of your readers). There’s a time and place for the uglier side of this world to be present in literature, but there’s also a certain way to go about writing it, especially when you aren’t always certain of your audience (e.g. some YA is written for 16/17 year-olds and has more “mature” themes, but 12 year olds are picking these books up).
There was a book series I read around 6th or 7th grade (and it’s my comfort series/author to this day), that totally changed my perspective on love and romance as a Christian. Without those books, I might have eventually come to that some line of thinking, but it could have been different or I would have possibly discovered it later.
Just goes to show you that words are powerful. Our pens really are swords…and it’s up to authors whether they use them for good or evil.
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Glad it was helpful. I have a possible idea for something that you could try for option three.
We knew a kid who was trying to go straight. His dad was Special Forces and died in Dessert Storm. His dad’s best friend was kind of a mentor to him tho and was trying to fill in as a father figure. None of them were Christian’s at this point, but the kid was still trying to “walk straight” like he believed his dad would want him to. Well, he ends up running with the popular crowd… (I think he even became a captain on the football team which really won him the “affection” of the cheerleaders) he ended up being convinced to go to a party at one of the guy’s house. There he found that it was not what he thought it was going to be, but was too worried of what it would do to his reputation to back out. (No drugs, but they had opened a few cases of beer and several of the cheerleaders were goofing off in the hot tub with the football guys) One of the guys ended up giving him a beer with a “don’t tell me you don’t drink” wise-crack, and he took it. He then got waylaid by the cheer captain and even let her write her phone number on his hand, (something he had once claimed he would never do as he believed it was inappropriate for guys and girls to call each other when they weren’t in a relationship) He ended up taking a drink of the beer but had this sort of shocking “what on earth am I doing?” moment, and dumped it down the drain. He had ridden with friends though, so he got stuck there for some time longer. They ended up being able to leave around 11:00, but all three of his friends were drunk. He said he would drive, but the guys were goofing off in the back seat and it distracted him. He turned around to try and make them stop and got in an accident. Two of the guys were killed and another was baldy injured. It ended up being the fault of the other driver and he was cleared, but he lived with that guilt for a long, long time. It was also a bit of a wake-up call for him.
Now, the situation is different for your MC, but you could do something like that.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
XD Well good! Glad it was helpful. Don’t worry too much over the whole “Gracious but this draft needs so much work” problem. You’ve already put in a ton of work and learned so much just to get to this point in the drafting process. You can do this! It’s worth it. (
plus, hey, we’re all in this thing too…writer’s are crazy)There was a book series I read around 6th or 7th grade (and it’s my comfort series/author to this day), that totally changed my perspective on love and romance as a Christian. Without those books, I might have eventually come to that some line of thinking, but it could have been different or I would have possibly discovered it later.
You know, I have a comfort series like this too. Several actually. It’s kinda nice to remember how impactful even small books can be on readers.
Just goes to show you that words are powerful. Our pens really are swords…and it’s up to authors whether they use them for good or evil.
Yes. I think you could write a speech on that phrase. Well put.
A cup of tea is cheaper than therapy.
I KNOW! When I was reading that I was like, “No way! This is what happened to –––” Except I don’t think Drew Carter’s dad died in Dessert Storm. And was he Special Forces?
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
Wow. Yup, Green Beret. He did die in the Middle East, but I don’t think it specified a place or operation.
A cup of tea is cheaper than therapy.
Oh, okay then.
Those books are cool, but they also have a lot of wacky things theology-wise.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
WhAt??? Wacky theology? Really??? *Utter sarcasm*
Ugh yes. The Angel stuff is just…weird. and then there’s Drew’s senses things and the red light expirement…*shakes head in mild derision*
A cup of tea is cheaper than therapy.
That had better be utter sarcasm, XD
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
I’m worried that I’m sending little messages that this sin really isn’t so bad or evil.
I really don’t think you have to worry about this unless the MC doesn’t face consequences.
Every MC lives with internalized beliefs, some right and some wrong, and if you’re telling the story from the MC’s perspective – they’re not exactly going to give a “heads up, I’m sinning right now!” to the reader. That’s just how good writing works. You want the reader to lose themself in the POV.
The reader can either sus out the moral right away with their own moral compass, or they can follow the MC along and learn with her. As long as the MC receives adequately negative consequences for her actions by the end of the story, it’s not wrong for you to write about the pleasure. It’s an important part of the story. It’s the whole reason she’s in this pickle in the first place.
If you think her problematic behavior is not clearly problematic by the end of her arc, write the book first and get beta readers. Ask them what they think.
And after all of that… I don’t think we can always hold the reader’s hand through these things. Some readers are emotionally unintelligent. I guarantee someone has picked up Chronicles of Narnia and made the argument it supports Satanism. Don’t knock yourself over things you can’t control.
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