Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › Fortitude, Ch. ~ 4 and 5 Reading Request
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March 28, 2021 at 9:54 pm #96375
*takes deep breath*
Okay, so I wanted to share two more chapters of Fortitude with y’all to see your critiques/feedback and overall general thoughts! I’m really nervous about posting this, and just note that it isn’t the final draft, but that’s what improvement is all about, I suppose 🙂
I’m going to have my very helpful friend @gracie-j post the links for me, because for some unknown reason they aren’t working right now, so you can read them below this post.
Anyways, with that aside, I’m posting Ch. ~ 4 and Ch. ~ 5. I had to skip Ch. 3 because I haven’t finished writing the latter half, so I’ll just cover the necessary info.
#1. Deek finds out he has fire powers.
#2. Caira and Deek find out they’re twin siblings (I think most of you already know this)
#3. Caira learns a bit more about her powers and how to control them.
So, just a quick thing to note: when Ch. ~ 4 begins, Caira and Deek are attending the lantern ceremony that Newton (the newspaper boy) told Caira about in the second chapter, so I just wanted to make that clear so nobody was confused.
I did have a few questions…
1. Is the story engaging? This is the point where the story truly begins—the inciting incident—so I wanted confirmation that it is, in fact, interesting.
2. Are my characters likable?
3. Do you think the pacing is all right?
4. Are my chapters too long? These chapters are only around three scenes, so it made it more difficult to chop the word count, but if it’s monotonously long, let me know (I can get carried away…)
Let me know your thoughts! These will probably be the last chapters I post. Again, I’m really shy about posting this, but I wanted to know your thoughts (also, another huge apology for my lengthy chapters. I hope you all don’t mind.) I’ll tag some people below… but don’t feel like you have to read them. Thank you to all of you who read them!! 😀 Forgive me if it’s rough–I’m trying my hardest and will probably find critiques of my own after this, but oh well. Enjoy! Ask any questions you’d like. 🙂
@abigail-m @gracie-j @issawriter7 @mkfairygirl @nova21 @scripter-of-kingdoms @devastate-lasting @daisy-torres @ribbonash @lewilliams @hallie-jean @Caira-Watson @Deek-Watson @anyone-I’m-forgettingMarch 28, 2021 at 10:10 pm #96379Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
So, for everyone that Lexi has tagged, I have an apology to make. After probably an hour of the two of us troubleshooting, neither of us can get the links to post.
Therefore, if you are interested in reading Chapters 4 and 5 of Fortitude, please email me at graceajohnson.author@gmail.com and I will email you the links.
I know Lexi greatly appreciates you guys reading for her, and I know I am so in love with
Newton and Deekher story, so I hope you’ll take the time to shoot me a message and read through her fantabulous work.Thank you. A thousand pardons on this forum’s behalf for eating the links. *bows* *walks away solemnly* *pulls up Chapter 4 and devours the words hungrily*
March 28, 2021 at 10:35 pm #96380I sent the email the second I saw this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED I AM TO READ CHAPTERS 4 AND 5!!! (okay, maybe you do since my caps button got out of control. Oh, who cares? This is an all-caps occasion!) I mean I nearly fell out of my chair with excitement and was about to burst! *internally screaming here* THIS IS GOING TO BE SO EPIC!!:D
(I’m really excited if you can’t tell XD ).March 28, 2021 at 11:14 pm #96382Eeeekk girl I am SOOOO EXCITED to be reading this!!!! YESSSS!!!!! *jumps up and down* *does happy dance* Do you know how long I’ve been waiting. XD Seriously, it’s gonna be sooo EPIC!!!! <333 *happily ponders what amazing things I’m gonna be reading in these next chapters* AND THE FACT THAT WE GET TWO NEW CHAPTERS IS JUST WAAAY TOO AWESOME TO EVEN THINK ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *endless exclamation marks* (Also, girl, LOOVE your new profile pic!!! You’re SOOO PRETTY, girl!!!!! <333)
@gracie-j
You can expect my email tomorrow. I’m *cough, cough* kinda supposed to be asleep right now. XD
God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
TeenWritersNook.comMarch 29, 2021 at 12:13 am #96386@lexi-m AHHH I’ve been waiting for these for FOREVERRR YAYYYYYY!!!!! I’m sooo exciteddddd. I won’t be able to read tonight, as it is late here, BUT I WILL ASAP!!! EKKKK!!!!
"It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."
March 29, 2021 at 6:22 am #96394@gracie-j
*bows* Thank you, dear friend, for saving my life with this! You’ve been immensely helpful with these links! And thank you so much for saying that!:) It means a lot that you’re excited to read it (I mean, I really look up to/admire all of you authoresses here on KP, so it means the world when you want to read my first novel!) Again, you’re the best! 😀
Yay! I was hoping you would find this post and wouldn’t miss it–I knew I’d been telling you I was going to post one of these days 😉 I’m so excited for you to read it! It isn’t the final draft or anything, but that’s what improvement is all about, I guess. AHH thank you a million for wanting to read this!!! (By the way… Chapter 5 is where Newton officially joins the crew 😉 )
Eeeek, thank you, Issa!!! *jumps up and down with excitement* I’m honestly so happy that you’re going to read it! I enjoyed reading all of your comments/feedback on the past two chapters and can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this one! Haha, these two chapters are interesting and, in my opinion, better than the last ones *shudders at the memory* 😉 Aww, thank you, Issa! *grins* That means the world to hear you say, I promise! 🙂
Thank you so much, Daisy!!! (I was really hoping you’d be one of my readers because your comments and feedback are just the best 😉 ) Yay, that means so much to hear you say!! And totally take your time (I have a tendency to write ridiculously long chapters, so you’ll have to excuse that XD) Oh, and I’ve been meaning to tell you: I haven’t forgotten about reading Smoke and Mirrors one bit! I *finally* feel like I have free time, so I’ll try to get back to it soon! It was just soooo amazing and interesting that it’s been hard not reading it for so long!!! 😀
March 29, 2021 at 1:04 pm #96418Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@writerlexi1216 Girl, you are so welcome! I’m just upset that the links wouldn’t work for either of us… 🙁 You are so sweet!! Honey, I look up to you! Like, your talent for creating such amazing, lovable characters is leagues above most published authors!
March 29, 2021 at 1:56 pm #96424@gracie-j
I know!! But it’s okay–I’m very thankful that you’re helping me out with this!! Fortitude is forever in your debt *bows* Aww, thank you!! You have no idea how much that means, especially to a girl writing her first novel! I admire all of you on here and it makes me feel all warm inside that you guys like my writing! Thank you a million times over for your kind words! They mean more than you’ll ever know 😉
March 29, 2021 at 2:09 pm #96429Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@writerlexi1216 🙂 You’re so welcome!! Thank you!
March 29, 2021 at 7:25 pm #96457OHHH!!!! I want to read them! I’m so sorry @writerlexi1216! I haven’t read your second chapter yet! Is it okay if I read chapter 4 and 5?? Will I be confused? I really want to read them! I had been too busy at the time your other ch. 2 came out! I’m so glad you’re progressing! And I wish you the best of luck!!!
Proverbs 16:2
March 29, 2021 at 7:34 pm #96459Oh, it’s okay, girl!!! I really appreciate that you want to read them–it means so much to me that people want to read my chapters!! 🙂 Unfortunately, yes, you’d need to read the second chapter to understand what’s going on. But don’t feel obligated to read it! I understand that you’ve been busy, so it’s no problem. Take your time! 🙂 And thank you, Hallie!! That’s such an encouragement to me 🙂 You too! I wish you the very best of luck! 😉
March 29, 2021 at 7:49 pm #96462Alrighty!!! Thank you so much! I understand the hard work you put in to your story! And if I miss a chapter now, just know that I will be getting your book as soon as it releases so I wouldn’t be missing it anyway 😉 Would it be okay if I read 4 and 5, then read 2 later if I feel like I needed to?? I’ll try my best to critique! But knowing you, I won’t have to do much!!! <3
Proverbs 16:2
March 29, 2021 at 7:55 pm #96463Of course!! And thank you!! 😀 That means the world to hear you say!! Aww, yay, thank you!!:) Hmm… I guess that you could, but just know that some things won’t make sense (mainly because of one specific scene in chapter two), and, unfortunately, you’d need to read chapter two before reading chapter five (because of a character that’s introduced). Sorry if that sounds confusing! But when you do read them, I’d love to hear your feedback!! I enjoyed every one of your comments last time!! 😀 😀 😀
March 30, 2021 at 11:18 am #96489Your post didn’t show up here, but I got it in my notifications, and let me just say that made me smile harder than I thought humanly possible!!! A HUNDRED THOUSAND THANK YOUS, Abigail!!!!!! I mean, I can’t even put into words how much it means to me to read through all of your comments and hear your thoughts on my two chapters!!! It’s such a warm, good feeling that other people like my story!! 🙂 Thank you! I’m so glad you liked Deek and Caira’s relationship! I was worried that they may not be likable characters or something… And I’m OVER THE MOON that you liked Newton’s introduction! After I posted it, I started reading through it again and worrying it wasn’t good. But thank you so much (also, thanks for reassuring me with my chapter lengths!) and AWW, THANK YOU! You have no idea how much it means to hear you say ‘bestselling author’ I mean, I could cry (seriously)! (Though I have no doubt you will, too! 😉 ) Oh my goodness, you haven’t just brightened my day–you’ve brightened my ENTIRE YEAR just with this comment! Thank you!!!!! 🙂
March 30, 2021 at 8:12 pm #96503Alright! I’ll read it as soon as possible!!!! Thank YOU for everything you write!
Proverbs 16:2
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