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I will read through each of these a couple times and talk about them tomorrow!
#ProtectAdolinKholin
Here’s my story, if it’s too late to be submitted for judging then it’s okay if you don’t judge it.
A Ghostly Town
A thick fog had settled over the town, and in the late Winter afternoon, the only light came from the pale glow of the moon.
Nessa took herself to wandering the town. Since it was completely empty, she had no need to be quiet. She shouted, called, sang, and listened to the echoes bouncing off the buildings. Then there was silence, and the wind was the only answer. Once she grew tired of that, she entered the saloon, pushing past the swinging doors.
The saloon was spacious, with many tables and chairs, and a counter with stools pushed against it. The saloon was also incredibly dusty, and pictures worn with age hung tilted on the walls. A chandelier dangled from the ceiling, and as Nessa walked deeper into the saloon, she noticed the rod attaching it to the ceiling was on the verge of breaking.
She went to the counter and took a seat. There was a counter behind that, bottles and boxes atop it. A shelf, with glass cups, spoons, and more bottles, was attached to the wall just above it. Nessa swung her feet, glancing all round. A chill ran down her back, there had been people here once. Now all that was left was dust.
And then she noted the piano in the corner. Nessa jumped from the seat and approached it. She pulled the bench out and sat down, touching one of the keys. They were all dusty of course, and the key was badly out of tune, and yet it brought to life an entire era. Nessa could hear and see the cowboys now, sitting in the chairs, laughing and talking. She could hear the clip clops of horses and carriages bumping along the road. At the counter was the bartender, serving drinks to his customers and next to her sat a cowboy playing a lively tune. Everything was bright now, without a sight of dust or age stained upon the room.
Then, with another press of a key, it was all gone. Nessa returned to the present and the saloon was empty. All the life was gone, the smell of must filled her nose. Nessa stood up and walked out again into the foggy street. She took a deep breath in, looking all around. She could barely see across the street, and she wondered, exactly, where she was.
If only she could remember how she got there."No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"
@theshadow You’re good, I will include it!
#ProtectAdolinKholin
LOL! I loved that! XD
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
I’m sorry guys, I said these would be judged yesterday but I’m going to need more time 😅
#ProtectAdolinKholin
@whalekeeper take your time, I’m
notpatient"Do you want me to keep the sideburns?"
#AnduthForever (Lord Willing)Thanks!
Tempus adest gratiae
Hoc quod optabamus,
Carmina laetitiae
Devote reddamus!*Actively flipping through all the stories, trying to wrap my head around each of them*
#ProtectAdolinKholin
Judging time!
So I read about the ghost of a relationship, an actual ghost, a ghost of a self, a Christmas ghost, a returned man who isn’t actually a ghost (yay!), a ghost hunter, and a ghost town.
Now I have a bunch of my own ideas. XD
Words @hybridlore
Thank you for being the first writer! I liked how you incorporated the ghost prompt into the scene fluidly, rather than actually writing a story about ghosts. The characterization was on point, and you didn’t dig too far into Lena’s reason for hesitation, which I loved. It shows how the focus is on the sisters’ estrangement, not on the original conflict Lena caused within her family.
A Mother’s Last Whisper @rae
You went for a dreamier take on this, and it fits you quite well. I’ve noticed your style tends to follow those patterns, even when your story world has futuristic elements. Since you started writing that way, I’ve started associating it with Nahim. The way you wrote it reminded me a little of George MacDonald, the author of the Princess and the Goblin. Have you ever read him before?
Fragments @koshka
I really love how you managed to keep the story short and based on only a little moment. The style was fluid and seamless. I always appreciate when someone flows their descriptive language in and out of the scene, instead of having it in blocks. Another thing I really liked was the psychological (?) divide within the protagonist; I’ve been reading a story with a character like that and I have a little weakness for that kind of character. (;
Have Hope, Marley @raxforge
Ah, the classics. Marley was always a little creepy to me as a kid, but I suppose he was well-meaning in the end, as you explored here. It seems pretty sad that he can’t even catch up with a group of boys with his chains dragging him down; that would be the kind of thing to stress me out, like claustrophobia. Anyway, thank you for a revisiting with an iconic ghost. XD
Klyruchi @elishavet-pidyon
Lovely! You’ve always had a graceful charm in your stories and this was no exception. I love when you find unique details to describe, such as ‘she spun a twist into the carpet.’ I don’t know if this is accurate, but your stories strike me as leaning into the fairy tale genre without necessarily crossing that line of imagination. Also I am worried that either Sasha or Milaya will become ghosts in the future.
How to Kill the Ghost in the Guest Bedroom: An Instructional Guide @theducktator
As the only humorous entry, you receive a badge of notice. *Pins a star on your shirt* I commend your ability to communicate character, wit, and humor – all without directly describing the scene! The protagonist is quite the sassy child, I might add, and I feel they would be a pretty colorful protagonist even as a teenager. Perhaps they grow up fascinated with the paranormal.
A Ghostly Town @theshadow
This is me when I explore places I don’t belong. XD All jokes aside, it’s interesting that your mind went to ‘ghost town.’ I would have never gone directly to that. I appreciated the details like the dangling chandelier and all the fog and dust, and you captured the scene thoroughly. I’ve read a bunch of descriptive scenes which feel disjointed, and that was not the case here.
…
I will say the judging was extremely difficult. I fluctuated between the stories and changed my decision a few times, but here it is.
And the winner is…
*Drum roll*
…
@koshka !And I cannot decide on a second place because the others were so good. Anyway, congratulations and thank you everyone for writing! Koshka, you are free to give the next prompt and word limit.
#ProtectAdolinKholin
*Squeals*
Okay. Okay.
Now I have to think of a prompt.
And -wait- I’ll have to judge?
…
*Starts to panic*
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkYOU HAVE TO, THERE’S NO OTHER WAY –
You can if you want to, but if you need help judging, I can do that part and you can just invent the prompt. 😚 Up to you.
#ProtectAdolinKholin
Yay!!! (I am interested by your description of my style. I hadn’t seen it that way, but it fits. Also, I get bored writing typical details. It makes me twitchy.)
@koshka CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! I’m so happy right now. You did a lovely job. 😁*offers you raspberry cheesecake*
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
XD
I think I’ll try judging this round. And I’ll let people respond and whatever before I post the next prompt
which should give me time to think of one.First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkThank you!
*Accepts raspberry cheesecake*
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkI am interested by your description of my style. I hadn’t seen it that way, but it fits.
Good! 😊 Have you ever read The Wolf Wilder Katherine Rundelle? It reminds me of you a lot, and not just because it’s about Russian children.
Also, I get bored writing typical details. It makes me twitchy.
*Nods* This I understand. You can’t just write typical stuff all the time, it’s too… Well, it’s not too much of anything, if that makes any sense.
Awesome! I hope to write for this one >:) Mwahaha…
…
Wait. You two are siblings, aren’t you? I plum forgot that, no wonder I associated your two stories together in my head. (They were still distinct and had their own vibes.)
#ProtectAdolinKholin
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