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@arien. How did I miss this for so long!?!?!?!? *face-palms*
Sorry bout that!!!
Also, I don’t know if we’ve met! Hi! Nice to meet you! I’m FreedomWriter76, a Christian, homeschooled, teenage girl who loves music, Marvel, History, and has a passion for spreading the light of Christ through Historical Fiction! 😀
And, now that I’ve introduced myself, I must say…I LOVE your story already!!! And I normally don’t read fantasy…too much magic for me, heh. But OOOH LA LAAAA!!!! I love this! <3333
I love sibling and twin dynamics, and you do it beautifully!
I already see Aeden as a protective older brother that wants what’s best for his sister, and I do see Elinor’s trauma quite well…poor baby girl. *sniff* I also see Elinor’s nervousness, which I expect for someone who’s been abused, but I love her anyways. <333 I love their twin dynamic!!! 😀
And Mr. and Mrs. Dickenson…I despise you…XD
For any critique, I would agree with almost everyone else here. Maybe show a bit more of their daily life, show even more frantic packing, etc.
But for me, personally, I think it seemed frantic, although…it did seem like they had at least some plan, considering how quick Elinor was to get everything she needed ready.
So…did they already have a bit of a plan to leave at some point…?
It’s not bad in the least! I just noticed that they both seemed like they knew exactly what they needed to get and do to leave. 😉
And I would also agree with @elishavet-pidyon on getting to see more of the Dickensons’ personalities more, just to show why Elinor jumped to her conclusions so fast.
But I love it!!! Keep going!!! You got this!!! <333
@freedomwriter76
How did I miss this for so long!?!?!?!? *face-palms*
Sorry bout that!!!
You’re fine! 😊😊
Nice to meet you too! I also love music, especially the violin and singing. I’m not exactly a history person, but I do think it’s fascinating–especially the government aspect and how history relates to literature. I have to admit, I’ve never seen a Marvel movie . . . I’d like to though! How many are there? What would you recommend starting with? It’s kind of intimidating, mostly because I’m a perfectionist and I would want to see all the Marvel movies in order. 😂
Ooh, historical fiction! I like reading it but I’ve started writing only one historical fiction, a short story co-written with my sister. We didn’t get very far but we want to finish it once we’re done with some other projects! What are your WIPs about? I’ve seen some of your references to characters and stuff but I don’t really know how they all tie together. 😊
And, now that I’ve introduced myself, I must say…I LOVE your story already!!! And I normally don’t read fantasy…too much magic for me, heh. But OOOH LA LAAAA!!!! I love this! <3333
I love sibling and twin dynamics, and you do it beautifully!
Thank you! Yeah, this is fantasy, but it doesn’t have any magic, just one reference to Elves long ago. I’m thinking it’s like a world where there used to be Elves and dragons, but they’ve all died.
I already see Aeden as a protective older brother that wants what’s best for his sister, and I do see Elinor’s trauma quite well…poor baby girl. *sniff* I also see Elinor’s nervousness, which I expect for someone who’s been abused, but I love her anyways. <333 I love their twin dynamic!!! 😀
I know, I’m so mean to Elinor 😂 But she grows, and by the end of the book it’s better. It physically hurt me to write some of what she’s thinking though! I was just sitting there writing this scene . . .
Uh, spoiler alert, sorry . . .
Essentially, Elinor and Aedan get captured by the Enemy, and Aedan gets beaten pretty badly, and Elinor thinks he might be dead. She’s talking to him in her thoughts, and . . . uffda, I didn’t cry, but my heart just kind of hurt, you know what I mean? Poor baby girl. 😂
And Mr. and Mrs. Dickenson…I despise you…XD
Does the “I despise you” refer to the Dickinsons or me? LOL XD
Maybe show a bit more of their daily life, show even more frantic packing, etc.
Okay, that makes sense! I’ll work on that whenever I get around to editing!
So…did they already have a bit of a plan to leave at some point…?
Yeah, I should hint at that a little more. I think it was probably Aedan had suggested running away, only half-seriously, and Elinor had shot it down at first, but then she realizes they really need to get out of there.
Be brave. Be strong. Be bold.
-Christopher Blakewell- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
I also love music, especially the violin and singing.
OOH! The Violin is beautiful!!! (I’m currently learning Guitar, but I don’t know much, lol. XD) But I do love singing. 😉
I’m not exactly a history person, but I do think it’s fascinating–especially the government aspect and how history relates to literature.
I understand!!! Not everyone is a History person. 😉 It is very fascinating!
I have to admit, I’ve never seen a Marvel movie . . . I’d like to though! How many are there? What would you recommend starting with? It’s kind of intimidating, mostly because I’m a perfectionist and I would want to see all the Marvel movies in order. 😂
Oh my…how many are there…now I gotta do Math…*sigh* XD Just kidding. xD Not including the newer ones that I haven’t watched nor am really a fan of…oh…over 20? XD I haven’t watched all of them, lol. xD
If you want to watch them in order, you’d start with Iron Man, but I haven’t watched that one nor plan to because of some of the things in it from what my Dad said…I personally started with Captain America: The First Avenger, which is still a favorite of mine. But I love WWII and Captain America, so…XD
Ooh, historical fiction! I like reading it but I’ve started writing only one historical fiction, a short story co-written with my sister. We didn’t get very far but we want to finish it once we’re done with some other projects!
Ooh, cool!!! Do you have any favorite Historical Fiction books? I have many favorites, lol, but that’s almost the only genre I read, so…XD
What are your WIPs about? I’ve seen some of your references to characters and stuff but I don’t really know how they all tie together. 😊
Okay…so…first off, I have a lot of WIP’s. XD Because…I have some in multiple time periods. In fact, this is what I have:
American Revolution: 4 planned books.
American Civil War: 1 planned book
WWII: 6 or 7 planned books
Korean War/Post WWII: 2 or 3 planned books
Vietnam War: 2 planned books
Afghanistan War: 1 planned book
So…yeah…XD I have a problem. XD
And I have a Fantasy WIP and a Dystopian WIP ideas too, so…XD
My main WIP’s right now are two of my WWII WIPs, both for a planned trilogy…the two you’ve read in my forums. 😉
Thank you! Yeah, this is fantasy, but it doesn’t have any magic, just one reference to Elves long ago. I’m thinking it’s like a world where there used to be Elves and dragons, but they’ve all died.
You are soooo welcome!!! <333 Oh, poor Elves and Dragons. *sniff*
I know, I’m so mean to Elinor 😂 But she grows, and by the end of the book it’s better. It physically hurt me to write some of what she’s thinking though! I was just sitting there writing this scene . . .
Uh, spoiler alert, sorry . . .
Essentially, Elinor and Aedan get captured by the Enemy, and Aedan gets beaten pretty badly, and Elinor thinks he might be dead. She’s talking to him in her thoughts, and . . . uffda, I didn’t cry, but my heart just kind of hurt, you know what I mean? Poor baby girl. 😂
I know what you mean…and POOR ELINOR!!!!! *sobs*
Does the “I despise you” refer to the Dickinsons or me? LOL XD
The Dickinsons. Trust me, I don’t despise you. I have characters that are very much the same and even worse, so…XD
Okay, that makes sense! I’ll work on that whenever I get around to editing!
Glad it makes sense!!! Of course! This is why us writers write in multiple drafts! XD
Yeah, I should hint at that a little more. I think it was probably Aedan had suggested running away, only half-seriously, and Elinor had shot it down at first, but then she realizes they really need to get out of there.
Ohh…gotcha! Yeah, it might help to put that in there!!!!
But overall, I love it!!! You got this, girl!!! <333 Go get ’em! <3333
Hello and nice to meet you!
Nice to meet you too :D!!
Thank you! Arien is a kind of obscure character in The Silmarillion, and when I found it, I thought that’s cool, I think I’ll make that my pen name! 🙂
You’re welcome!! Oh, cool! I haven’t read the Silmarillion yet, but I’m gonna try and work up the courage to buy it and…read it XD.
Yes, another woods person! My sister and I used to love exploring the woods near my grandparents’ house (they were right on the edge of a park). Once we even followed a Barred owl through the woods on a snowy evening.
YES!! Oh, you are too?! Awesome! That sounds so much fun!! WOW, I LOVE Barred owls! They’re so beautiful. I had an experience like that, but I live in the South, where it never snows and it wasn’t an owl. I followed the sound of a woodpecker through the woods in the blistering heat, my bare feet in the cold water of a creek. It was a pretty stupid decision, now that I look back at it. There’s a lot of snakes in that area 🙁 :O. I eventually found it, it was very pretty, and I think it was a red headed woodpecker or a pileated woodpecker. Anyway, yes, I love the outdoors! 😀
I love Eowyn, she’s probably my favorite character of all time. I also love Faramir, Sam, Aragorn, Gandalf, Gimli, Merry and Pippin . . . they’re all so wonderful!
Yes!! “I am no man.” I love that part. Yeah, It’s hard to say just one character…they’re all so good!!
LOL! Yes, Edmond is great. I also like Valentine, she’s so sweet in the way she cares for her grandfather.
Yeah! She is.
Thank you! I do enjoy writing twins! I’ve always wanted a brother, especially an older brother or a twin brother. It’s fun to write about one though. I’ve always found it so fascinating to think about what it would be like to have a sibling who’s exactly your age! My sister is younger than me, but we’re close and sometimes we feel like we’re the same age, but we’re in different activities and stuff, and I’m sure it’s not the same.
You’re welcome!! Yeah! I have two brothers and a baby sister. They are my world, and my parents too. But, yeah, they’re all younger. That would be so cool to have an older sibling or having a twin! Me and my cousin are only 4 months apart, and we think of each other as twin sisters XD. Oh, cool! My sister is a lot younger than me, but she’s still gonna be one of my BFFs :).
I’ll work on that!
Okay! I know you’ll do great :)!
#HugRikerSquad
@freedomwriter76
Do you have any favorite Historical Fiction books?
I like The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare, With Pipe, Paddle and Song by Elizabeth Yates, Across Five Aprils by Irene Hunt, and Johnny Tremain by Esther Forbes. I’m sure there are more, I just can’t think of them right now!
Okay…so…first off, I have a lot of WIP’s. XD Because…I have some in multiple time periods. In fact, this is what I have:
American Revolution: 4 planned books.
American Civil War: 1 planned book
WWII: 6 or 7 planned books
Korean War/Post WWII: 2 or 3 planned books
Vietnam War: 2 planned books
Afghanistan War: 1 planned book
So…yeah…XD I have a problem. XD
And I have a Fantasy WIP and a Dystopian WIP ideas too, so…XD
Wow, that’s a lot! I have maybe seven planned books but I’m trying to write only one at a time so it’s not too overwhelming. 😂
I know what you mean…and POOR ELINOR!!!!! *sobs*
I know, my poor baby. She needs to go somewhere nice and safe where people can love her like she needs!
Trust me, I don’t despise you. I have characters that are very much the same and even worse, so…XD
Okay good, LOL! I know, the horrible characters writers invent . . .
But overall, I love it!!! You got this, girl!!! <333 Go get ’em! <3333
Thank you so much!! 😊😊
Be brave. Be strong. Be bold.
-Christopher Blakewell- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
I like The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare, With Pipe, Paddle and Song by Elizabeth Yates, Across Five Aprils by Irene Hunt, and Johnny Tremain by Esther Forbes. I’m sure there are more, I just can’t think of them right now!
Cool!!! I’ve read Across Five Aprils, but none of those others! I have read another book by Elizabeth George Speare, though! 😉
Wow, that’s a lot! I have maybe seven planned books but I’m trying to write only one at a time so it’s not too overwhelming. 😂
It is…XD Yeah…I’m writing two right now at the same time, but mostly focusing on the one that comes first in the planned trilogy, lol. xD
I know, my poor baby. She needs to go somewhere nice and safe where people can love her like she needs!
YES!!! SHE DOES!!!! <3333
Okay good, LOL! I know, the horrible characters writers invent . . .
I know, right!?!?!? xD
Thank you so much!! 😊😊
You are sooooo welcome! 🙂
@freedomwriter76
Cool!!! I’ve read Across Five Aprils, but none of those others! I have read another book by Elizabeth George Speare, though! 😉
Across Five Aprils is so good! Which other book by Elizabeth George Speare have you read? Sign of the Beaver, Bronze Bow, and Calico Captive are also good!
It is…XD Yeah…I’m writing two right now at the same time, but mostly focusing on the one that comes first in the planned trilogy, lol. xD
Good for you to limit it to two! I don’t think I could handle even two though . . . I’m kind of a one-thing-at-a-time sort of person!
YES!!! SHE DOES!!!! <3333
Do you happen to know of anywhere safe she could go? 😝 I think on another forum you and Koshka were talking about castles for rent?? 😂
Be brave. Be strong. Be bold.
-Christopher Blakewell- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
Across Five Aprils is so good! Which other book by Elizabeth George Speare have you read? Sign of the Beaver, Bronze Bow, and Calico Captive are also good!
I have read The Bronze Bow. 😉 I love that book. XD She portrayed Jesus so well, and I love Daniel, Thacia, Joel, Daniel’s sister, who I always forget her name, lol, my bad, and oh my goodness, SAMSON!!!!! I love him so much. xD *sniff sniff* So sad about what happened…but at least it saved Daniel…
Good for you to limit it to two! I don’t think I could handle even two though . . . I’m kind of a one-thing-at-a-time sort of person!
Well…I still write parts for almost all of them, but yeah, trying to only write the drafts of two at a time, lol. XD And I totally get that! 😀 Everyone’s different! 😉
Do you happen to know of anywhere safe she could go? 😝 I think on another forum you and Koshka were talking about castles for rent?? 😂
OH, yes!!! The rented castles are all a part of being a member of the *puts on sunglasses*
😎#ProtectionSquad😎 a group vowed to protect all charries from whatever trouble their author tries to put them in.
We even go to the lengths of kidnapping the charries and keeping them in a rented castle so their author can’t get them, something we have used many times. XD
*takes off sunglasses*
So…yeah! XDXDXDXDXD
I followed the sound of a woodpecker through the woods in the blistering heat, my bare feet in the cold water of a creek. It was a pretty stupid decision, now that I look back at it. There’s a lot of snakes in that area 🙁 :O. I eventually found it, it was very pretty, and I think it was a red headed woodpecker or a pileated woodpecker. Anyway, yes, I love the outdoors! 😀
Oh, cool! I love pileated woodpeckers–they’re so huge, and when they fly they look so awkward, like they might just fall out of the sky. 🤣
Yeah! I have two brothers and a baby sister. They are my world, and my parents too. But, yeah, they’re all younger.
That’s so sweet! Do you enjoy having younger brothers? Most of my friends have younger brothers, but they don’t get along and they don’t like them. Having only a younger sister who seems like she’s my age, I have no idea what I’d think of a younger brother! Except the one neighbor boy who was between my sister and me in age . . . we were like best friends when we were kids, and I wouldn’t have minded him as a younger brother!
Me and my cousin are only 4 months apart, and we think of each other as twin sisters XD.
My second cousin is a year or so younger than me and lives like 12 hours away, but we’ve connected through letters, email, and sharing our writing, so we feel like sisters too! XD
My sister is a lot younger than me, but she’s still gonna be one of my BFFs :).
Aww, that’s great! Sisters are great for best friends :).
Be brave. Be strong. Be bold.
-Christopher Blakewell@freedomwriter76
I have read The Bronze Bow. 😉 I love that book. XD She portrayed Jesus so well, and I love Daniel, Thacia, Joel, Daniel’s sister, who I always forget her name, lol, my bad, and oh my goodness, SAMSON!!!!! I love him so much. xD *sniff sniff* So sad about what happened…but at least it saved Daniel…
Yes yes yes! I totally agree! (I don’t remember Daniel’s sister’s name either!) And Samson . . . I cried so hard when I read that! And what Jesus tells Daniel after that . . . I think about this a lot:
“Hate does not die with killing. It only springs up a hundredfold. The only thing stronger than hate is love.”
So good!
OH, yes!!! The rented castles are all a part of being a member of the *puts on sunglasses*
😎#ProtectionSquad😎 a group vowed to protect all charries from whatever trouble their author tries to put them in.
We even go to the lengths of kidnapping the charries and keeping them in a rented castle so their author can’t get them, something we have used many times. XD
*takes off sunglasses*
LOL I love that! I’d seen your ProtectionSquad thing before on your tag and wondered what it was about. 😂
Be brave. Be strong. Be bold.
-Christopher BlakewellOh, cool! I love pileated woodpeckers–they’re so huge, and when they fly they look so awkward, like they might just fall out of the sky. 🤣
Lol!! I just had to look up a video of one flying, and yeah, they look so awkward 🤣!
That’s so sweet! Do you enjoy having younger brothers?
Yes!! For the most part 😂. How I put it: we don’t always like each other, but we always love each other😂!
Most of my friends have younger brothers, but they don’t get along and they don’t like them. Having only a younger sister who seems like she’s my age, I have no idea what I’d think of a younger brother! Except the one neighbor boy who was between my sister and me in age . . . we were like best friends when we were kids, and I wouldn’t have minded him as a younger brother!
Yeah, we don’t always get along…heh. But yes, I love them. Me and my 10 yr old brother were playing would you rather the other day on our Echo Dot, and one of the questions was “Would you rather take someone to the movies from your school that is mean to you, or take a sibling”? My brother and me were kinda shocked that was even a question 😂.
I have so many friends who’s little brothers are good friends with my bros, and so I’ve got like 6 brothers 😂😊, 2 blood related and 4 not.
My second cousin is a year or so younger than me and lives like 12 hours away, but we’ve connected through letters, email, and sharing our writing, so we feel like sisters too! XD
Awww cool! Yeah, my cousin lived North of where I live, but she just moved 😢. But we can still communicate through email and letters.
Aww, that’s great! Sisters are great for best friends :).
Yeah!! 🙂 Is your sister a writer too?
#HugRikerSquad
@arien @freedomwriter76
OMG, y’all have read the Bronze Bow?!?! It’s so good isn’t it? 🙂 I read it back in 6th grade. I loved it.
#HugRikerSquad
How I put it: we don’t always like each other, but we always love each other😂!
That’s great ❤️ Keep it up, that’s how it should be! 😊
Me and my 10 yr old brother were playing would you rather the other day on our Echo Dot, and one of the questions was “Would you rather take someone to the movies from your school that is mean to you, or take a sibling”? My brother and me were kinda shocked that was even a question 😂.
Wow, yeah. Even if they aren’t perfect, siblings are precious. Why would you ever take a bully to the movies with you instead of your sibling????
I have so many friends who’s little brothers are good friends with my bros, and so I’ve got like 6 brothers 😂😊, 2 blood related and 4 not.
LOL 🤣
Yeah!! 🙂 Is your sister a writer too?
Oh yes, @starofthenorth is definitely a writer. 😉
Be brave. Be strong. Be bold.
-Christopher BlakewellOMG, y’all have read the Bronze Bow?!?! It’s so good isn’t it? 🙂 I read it back in 6th grade. I loved it.
Yes it’s so good! Have you read any of Elizabeth George Speare’s other books? The Witch of Blackbird Pond is my favorite (It’s not about a real witch; it’s set in Puritan New England where a girl is falsely accused of being a witch.)
Be brave. Be strong. Be bold.
-Christopher Blakewell- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
OMG, y’all have read the Bronze Bow?!?! It’s so good isn’t it? 🙂 I read it back in 6th grade. I loved it.
YES, IT IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!!
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