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- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@writerlexi1216 Well, I have multiple things to say.
#1 Sorry for so many indents. That’s just a pet peeve of mine.
#2 Like, how can there be so much mystery and twistiness and excitement in one. little. chapter?
#3 Girl, I knew I would love this story the moment you told me about Caira and Newton (who I am DYING to meet! I mean, if he’s half as adorable as Deek…), and I was right! This was fantastic!
#4 Your description was FANTASTIC! You go, girl!
#5 So, like, the only negative thing I have to say is that you’re lacking some emotion. I’m not really feeling what Caira’s feeling…make sense? Maybe a little more showing and a little less telling, you know? Also, have you thought about writing in first-person?
#6 LEXI, I AM BEYOND ECSTATIC THAT YOU SHARED THIS WITH US! YOU ARE AMAZING AND I AM FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT FOR SUPPYLING ME WITH THIS TASTE OF AWESOMENESS!
@Gracie-j
#1 No, you’re totally fine! Sorry I had so many edits! I guess I get so wrapped up in just writing that… everything else goes out the window *writes that on checklist* I’ll try to be better
next time!#2 YAY! Sorry, but that’s exactly the feeling I was going for! I hope there wasn’t too many unanswered questions to the point that it felt… just plain weird, but let me assure you that everything does get answered. Chapter One is pretty heavy with questions. Chapter Two explains some of them.
#3 Woohoo!
Oh, girl, Newton is a million times better than DeekNewton is slightly introduced in Ch. 2 and officially introduced in Ch. 4. If you guys don’t mind, I may post those tomorrow or something? I’m super ecstatic about all this positive feedback that I’m practically bursting at the seams to share more and see your opinions!#4 Thank you! Description is something I tried to really focus on.
#5 I can see where you’re coming from with this! I’ll try not to make it seem so ‘plot-driven’ and more ‘character-driven’, because Caira’s emotions are super important. And I have thought about writing first person! I just tend to gravitate toward third person naturally, but it may help me if I switch.
6# YESSSS! Exactly the reaction I was hoping for!! Thank you so much for your help and supportive feedback! I’m really excited about it!! 😀 And tell me if you’d like to read more! I won’t give too much away, but I’d like to get to the point where Caira meets Newton because… let me tell you, it’s anything but romantic XD
THAT WAS EPIC!!! It was just simply incredible! I’m with @gracie-j all the way on point #6!
I couldn’t read it till late at night because I was working on a project and then I started reading it and I was hooked all the way till the end (yes even though it was midnight I couldn’t put it down!) it was just too good! I loved all of the unanswered questions, it was so much fun:D And I love your descriptions:) And I am absolutely dying to meet Newton!! I cannot wait to read more!!!
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀Girl, you got talent!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep sharing PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED to meet Newton now… 😉 The first part got me ABSOLUTELY hooked–and your imagery and metaphors were sooooooooo good!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can’t wait to read the next chapter (hint hint 😉)!!!!!!!!!!!!
what we do in life echoes in eternity
-gladiator, 2000@writerlexi1216 FANTASTIC!!!!!! Loved every word!!!
Also . . . WHO IS THIS NEWTON I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT???? I keep hearing his name and I’m like, “hello, he sounds super awesome and I need to meet him right away!!!”
Can NOT wait to read more!!!!!!
I do agree that Caira lacks a bit of emotion though. I personally am a little more character driven when it comes to writing! I let the characters tell the story and how they see and feel it, you know? I really enjoy feeling what the character feels! Makes me more attached, and I think you’d improve a lot with more showing than telling. But other than that . . . 100000000000/10
I’m SO glad you shared this phenomenal story with us!!!!!!!
Proverbs 16:2
Thank YOU!!! I’m so happy that you guys enjoyed it (because I was super nervous!) Wow, seriously??? YAY! I’m glad you were hooked! I personally consider Chapter One to definitely be the most confusing chapter, so hopefully if I send out more it’ll be even better! Yeah, I’m dying to share some of Newton’s story! I’m in the middle of writing a chapter from his POV and I’m loving him more and more XD
Awwwww, you have no idea how much that warms my heart to read!! I’m very happy you liked it 🙂 And thank you for reading it! I’m SO GLAD you were hooked!!! And I put so much effort into descriptions that I’m glad they sounded good! I appreciate it, and if I decide to share more, you’re more than welcome to read it!
THANKS, Hallie!!! 😀 Ahhhh, Newton is a character that I’m such a fan of.
*spoiler alert* Newton is a former villain, but then he abandons the bad guys and basically becomes a nomad. After that, he joins Caira on her quest so that he can help her bring down the government. And
there may or may not be a romance between Newton and Caira.Personally, Newton is my favorite character I’ve ever created 😛Oh, I can totally see what you’re saying! I went back (on my own private copy) and made some adjustments so that we could get more of Caira’s perspective on things. Thank you for the feedback!!! And I do feel like it gets more emotional later on, but I’ll keep that in mind from now on. Chapter One was pretty hectic… but I’m so happy that you liked it! 😀
It was SO AMAZING! AND YES! I DEFINITELY WANT TO READ MORE!! Okay, I gotta stop writing in all caps, but I definitely feel like writing in all caps!!!
Seriously though, I’m even more excited to read more of this story than I was when I waited for the second book of one of my favorite series to come out!And a chapter from Newton’s POV?? That must be SO much fun to write!! I can’t wait to finally meet him!!! 😀
YAY! I’m so stoked you enjoyed it (and that you were hooked! Your feedback is VERY encouraging!) Ahh, that’s fine! I like writing in all caps (and using exclamation points, haha). WOOHOO! That’s SO AMAZING! I’m super happy you like it, and wow, you’re really making me want to share more! I may edit more of Ch. 2 later and try to post it… No promises, though! *crosses fingers*
YES! Newton gets a chapter of his very own! It’s more of a backstory, really, but since Newton is my all-time fave, it’s been fun to write!! He’s briefly introduced in Ch. 2 and officially introduced in Ch.4, so be on the lookout! 😉
(*trying to contain the excitement of reading more, but failing miserably*) I AM SO DEFINITELY GOING TO BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR CHAPTER 2!!! 😀 😀 😀
And it is just way too awesome that Newton gets a whole chapter all to himself!! 😀
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
#1 Oh, it’s no problem! I totally understand! Everything else was superb; very little grammatical errors.
#2 No, it was perfect! That’s exactly what you want to go for!
#3 YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! Girl, I haven’t felt so fangirly since Aramy last year and Ky the year before. I can’t wait to meet Newton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE post more!!!!!!!
#4 You’re welcome! I can definitely tell that you work hard on it!
#5 Great! I actually am a third-person writer, but I felt drawn to first-person for one book (which has become a series XD), because it helped me convey my character’s conflicted emotions so much better! I’d at least give it a try–I could totally see it working with Fortitude!
#6 Thank you for sharing all of your amazingness! I can’t wait to read more! By golly, I’d read the whole thing if you’d let me! I can’t wait for their meeting too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YAHOO! So happy you’re looking forward to it! I’m editing it right now 😀
@Gracie-J
Thank you! I’ll try not to have so many indenting errors next time! Haha…
Yay! Thanks!
Ohmygosh YES! I fangirl all the time, so I KNOW the feeling 😉 I’m coming back from a trip tomorrow so it may be busy, but if I have the time, I may post a little more…
Thanks!
I didn’t know that! Yeah, I know that first-person is super popular, and it may help me better convey Caira’s feelings. I may try rewriting the first chapter just to see what it looks like!
Haha, you’re all too sweet! 🙂 This is my very first novel, so I really appreciate all the support. Keep an eye out! I may be posting more shortly…
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@writerlexi1216 I do so hope you’ll share more with
meus! And, yes, I definitely think you might find first-person best for your story, but that’s just me! If you need any tips, I’m always here!And this is your very first? Girl, you are LEAGUES above most first-time novelists! I am astounded!!!
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