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@ellette-giselle I read the section! Good to have the characters remember past events.
Also, I agree with Linus, I think they’re gonna live (or at least Leon and Julian will, Aelic could die or he could live); it seems a little early to kill these characters off, especially since you’ve provided no real replacement protagonists.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
You like it?!?!
Aw! That means so much!!!
Fires will rise to testify that 2+2=4. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer
Thanks!
Hmm. We’ll have to see.
Fires will rise to testify that 2+2=4. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer
Hmm. We’ll have to see.
What draft is this? If this is a first or second draft I could forgive you for killing them off and yeeting us into some random’s POV, cause it’s still rough and maybe you just figured out that killing them works for the story. But if it’s the final draft, almost ready for publishing, and you did that, I’d say go back and rework it a lot to introduce the new POV charrie better.
But hey, if you really wanted a plot twist, you could take out Julian and Leon and leave Aelic alive. Don’t do that, but it would’ve been interesting.
BTW my dad sent me an animation yesterday that he said reminded him of my own animations. The hero characters both die at the end and I was emotionally vulnerable for the rest of the day lol. I still tear up thinking about them. But I randomly thought about it while typing this and was like “Hah! That was the kind of thing Ellette loves.”
Not that I’m knocking you for liking tragic endings, or that it was a bad ending. It was a good ending that made a decent amount of sense, plus the animator said he was quitting animating on that specific program, so it was kinda metaphorical too.
IDK If I would recommend watching it to you though. There was quite a bit of swearing, plus it was loosely based off a fandom I don’t think you’re familiar with.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Speaking of which, I don’t put swearing in my animations….lol. That’s not what I meant. (My animations don’t even have much dialogue in them yet haha)
It was the animation style and the characters that made my dad think of me.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Haha! That’s funny. I do have a weak spot for tragedy.
This is draft 4.
I make no comment what-so-ever.
Fires will rise to testify that 2+2=4. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer
ohhhh.
By Draft 4 pretty much everything is solidified, right?
And I don’t mean “don’t make them die through the entire story,” just “don’t kill them this early in the book without a good replacement.”
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Draft 4 = I think it’s great, lets let people tear into it and see if it really is.
Fires will rise to testify that 2+2=4. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer
@ellette-giselle Well I think it’s great so far, so yep, you did your job.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
aw, thank you!
Fires will rise to testify that 2+2=4. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer
@freed_and_redeemed @hybridlore @koshka @keilah-h @elishavet-pidyon @liberty @linus-smallprint
NEXT SECTION!
When Leon woke, the light in the shed was very dim. He could hear the sound of voices and pounding and feet hurrying back and forth outside. “I wonder what they’re doing,” he muttered. He began to wonder how the villagers planned to kill them, and a shudder ran down his spine. It doesn’t matter, he told himself.
He winced as he pushed himself into an upright position. “Aelic,” he whispered. He nudged the boy with his boot. Aelic shifted in his sleep and slowly opened his eyes. “What?”
“It’s getting dark.”
There was a moment of silence as Aelic tried to remember what was going on. Then, he nodded.
Julian woke at the sound of their movement. He struggled painfully to sit up, muttering about the ropes being too tight. When he was up, silence fell. For a long time, they said nothing and just listened to the sounds outside as the light in the shed grew darker and darker. Leon looked to Aelic and could see the tenseness of his posture. “Aelic?” Aelic turned his head, and Leon looked straight at him. “Are you ready?”
Aelic took several breaths and then nodded.
They fell silent again, and in the silence, Aelic’s quick breathing sounded horribly loud and frightened. Aelic forced himself to swallow and then looked at Leon and Julian. “Will you please pray with me?”
“Of course,” Leon said. The three bowed their heads, and Leon began. “Father God, You know what has happened, and You know what lies ahead. Oh Lord, give Aelic strength as he faces this final fight, and give Julian and I strength as well. Oh Lord, protect Aelic from the evil one, put Your wings about him, shelter him and give him strength. Carry him home, Father. Carry him home.”
“Yes Lord,” Julian whispered. “Oh God, help each one of us in this trial. I pray especially for Aelic. Lord, he is so young, yet he is such a strong warrior. He has fought this fight with courage and faith. He has been true to You. Comfort him, take away his fear, and walk with him through this last fight. May he be victorious, and may his death shine through the darkness of this village. May You be glorified today.”
Steps sounded outside, and the three looked up. The door opened and several men entered. They grabbed the three and dragged them up.
Outside, darkness had already fallen, but the village square was lit up by torchlight. They were taken to the center of the village where the people stood watching. Angry murmurs and jeering rose from those standing there. Leon and Julian were roughly forced to sit in the icy layer of snow that still covered the village square. Aelic was pulled forward.
“God give him strength,” Leon whispered.
Aelic’s cousin, Martin, was standing next to the village Headman, looking at Aelic with fear in his eyes. The priest looked very angry and was glaring at Martin.
The village Headman raised a hand, and the people fell silent. “At the pleading of Martin Neumann, on behalf of his cousin, Aelic, I have agreed to offer mercy.”
Everyone held their breaths.
“Aelic, turn away from this madness and come back to the gods of your people.”
“No,” Aelic replied, straightening to his full height. “No sir, I cannot do that.”
The village Headman grimaced. “Then you will die, Aelic, and there is nothing more I can do.”
“So be it,” Aelic replied firmly.
“Aelic! Please! You can’t mean it that much! You can be willing to die for this God!” Martin cried.
“I do mean it, and I am willing,” Aelic said.
Martin just stared at him in stunned silence.
The priest grinned triumphantly and motion to the men who held Aelic. They dragged him to where a stake had been driven into the ground with a crosspiece fixed over the top. Torches had been set around the structure so that the full light fell upon whoever stood there. And just beyond–– ringed in torchlight–– was the statue of the forest god.
The men tore off Aelic’s cloak and pinned him with his back against the post, raising his arms to the crosspiece and tying them firmly at the wrist with strong cord.
The men moved away, and the priest stepped forward. No one said anything, and the crowd looked to the statue of the god and patch of moonlight inching towards it.
Julian bit his lip until it bled. He could see Aelic’s chest rising and falling in uneven jerks. His face was pale, and Julian knew he was terrified. Oh God help him. Give him strength!
The moon inched closer and closer. It fell over Aelic, touching his face with silver light. Aelic looked up at it and then over his shoulder at the statue of the god. He twisted his wrists in their bonds and shifted his footing
Leon watched as the moonlight crept over Aelic and spread out toward the statue. “Oh Lord, fill him with Your peace. Comfort him and give him strength,” he breathed.
The light crept along the stone the god stood on, and the priest drew a knife from a sheath concealed in his robes. Aelic went ridged, his eyes fixed on the blade.
“To drive away the curse, to bring peace to those in the house of the dead, to protect our village, to honor the gods, to vindicate the evil spoke here,” the priest chanted as the moonlight moved closer.
Leon and Julian turned their eyes from the moonlight to Aelic. He stood very still, watching the priest. Then he lifted his head. “Oh Lord, show them the evil here! May truth overwhelm lies, and light drive away darkness!”
The moonlight fell upon the face of the statue, and the priest stepped forward. He grabbed Aelic’s upraised wrist and set his knife against it. In one swift motion he drove the blade through the boy’s wrist.
Aelic gasped in pain, his head jerking back and his eyes closed tightly. The priest did the same to his other wrist and stepped back.
Leon stared in horror. They were going to leave Aelic bleed to death, and with the position of his arms and the angle of the cuts, it would be very slow and painful. He clenched his teeth. Oh God help him.
For a few moments, the only sound was Aelic’s ragged breath. He blinked back tears as the blood ran over his arms. Then he drew in a slow breath to steady himself. Looking up at the people he raised his voice so they could all hear. “Turn away from sin and come to Christ. Call out to Him and he will break your chains and set you free! Call upon the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved!” He paused to catch his breath, and blood dripped from his arms, creating red stains in the snow. “Come to the cross before it’s too late. Come before you find that life is gone, and you stand face to face with a God you have denied exists. In that hour, there will be none to save you.” Aelic lowered his head, sucking in several breaths through his teeth.
Tears ran down Julian’s face. He longed to run to his friend’s aid, or at least to die with him so that he would not have to face this alone. When Aelic lifted his head there was a look of strong peace on his face, and in that moment, Julian knew he was not alone.
Aelic took in another breath and continued. “‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”’ Those words are as true for us as they were for the people in the days of old!”
Julian tore his eyes away from Aelic and saw his cousin, Martin, watching with tears in his eyes.
“Listen to the young fool!” the Priest laughed. “He is dying and calls you to share his fate!”
“I plead with you to share in the life I have been given, not death!” Aelic replied.
Martin turned away, covering his face with his hands.
“‘For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.’ He has said, ‘everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’ and ‘If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.’” Aelic broke off to catch his breath. He winced and clenched his teeth as a shudder shook him.
Leon bit his lip until it bled. Oh God help him. Please Lord, end this torment!
Martin had turned to face Aelic. His hands were trembling, and tears streaked his face. He took several breaths, and then spoke, his voice cracking. “Aelic! Aelic, help me!”
Aelic looked toward his cousin.
Everyone had gone completely silent, and all eyes were on Martin. For a moment, Martin stood frozen, then he stepped into the circle of torchlight and fell to his knees. “Aelic, I believe you! Help me!”
With a shriek of rage, the priest leapt forward and grabbed Martin by the collar. “If you dare to do any such thing, you will forfeit your life!” he spat.
Martin was shaking now, and he looked up at his cousin in desperation.
“Call out to Him Martin! Believe that you have sinned and cry out for salvation!” Aelic urged.
The priest drew his knife and held it poised in one hand, yanking back Martin’s head with the other. “Do it, and you die.”
“Martin, cry out to Him, and you and I will stand face to face with our Lord and Savior this very night!” Aelic cried.
Martin was gasping for breath, and his hands shook with fear.
“Oh God help him. Give him the strength to call out to you!” Julian pleaded.
Martin sucked in a breath and then cried out, “Lord Jesus save me!”
With swift brutality the priest slashed his knife through the young woodsman’s throat. Martin collapsed to the snowy ground, shaking and fighting to breathe. A horrible, gasping cough tore through him, staining the snow with blood. Then, Martin lay still.
There was a long, stunned silence. Aelic lowered his head and tears streaked his pale face. “Thank You, God,” he breathed.
The priest turned toward the people. “If any more of you dare to make such a foolish move, then you will share in the fate of Martin and Aelic.”
His only answer was the weeping of Martin’s younger brother, Aiden.
“Yes, you will share in our fate!” Aelic cried out. “But our fate is eternal life with Jesus Christ!”
“Enough!” the priest yelled. He stepped swiftly over Martin’s still form, his knife in hand. Grabbing Aelic’s wrist he drove his knife down the length of his arm from hand to his elbow. Aelic gritted his teeth as the priest stepped around and did the same to his other arm. Blood streamed from the wounds and splashed to the snow, spreading in dark patches. Aelic’s head jerked back against the post and sweat streaked his face as he clenched his teeth against the pain. A cry tore from him and he gasped for breath. The priest moved back, a look of satisfied malice on his face.
“Oh God,” Leon breathed, tears blurring his vision.
Aelic had gone deathly white. “Oh God, give me strength!” he cried. He fought for another breath. His legs buckled and he cried out in pain as his bound wrists caught his fall. He was shaking, and his breaths quickened and grew shallow and uneven. “Oh God help me,” he rasped. “Oh Lord, take me home!”
Those last moments were terrible for Leon and Julian to watch as Aelic struggled for each breath. His head slammed back against the post and a gasping cry tore from him. He was fighting for each agonizing second. At last, his head lowered, and he struggled to draw in one last breath. As it slipped from his lips Aelic went still, blood dripping down him arms and splashing in the crimson snow beneath him.
Leon heard Julian weeping softly at his side, and he felt a strange and overwhelming joy and sorrow. The loss of such a dear brother was almost unbearable, but there was joy because Aelic was safe, and he was home.
In the silence that followed Aelic’s death, Leon and Julian weren’t the only ones to shed tears.
After a few moments, the priest came to Aelic’s side and put a hand against his neck. He turned and raised his hands. “My people, the cursed one is dead!” he shouted. “No longer shall we be cursed. From now on, if you serve the gods with loyalty and obedience, you will be blessed beyond imagining. But if any of you do not, then we will all be cursed, so beware! But now is not a time for warning, now is a time for celebration, for the gods have greatly blessed us this night!”
The priest motioned to where some of his cohorts were filling tankards with beer and laughing amongst themselves. They cheered appropriately as the priest held out his hand to them, and some of those in the gathered villagers joined in the cheer.
Soon they began to disperse. Some to their homes, but many more to the drink and food being set out and the fires being built.
The priest pointed to Julian and Leon. “Lock them up for the night. In the morning, they share in the boy’s fate.”
Leon and Julian were dragged up and taken back to the shed. When they were alone, neither said anything for a long time, and both wept softly. At last, they fell silent.
“He fought his final battle, and he was more than a conqueror,” Leon said, quietly.
“It was horrible, Leon,” Julian whispered hoarsely. “The cruelty—” he broke off, a sob catching in his throat.
Leon forced back his own tears. “God gave him his deepest desire. He said he had wanted to see one person from his village believe, and he did. Not sense Aaron and Adrian have I seen anyone die with such courage,”
***
Julian and Leon jolted awake to the sounds of screaming and running feet.
“What’s happening?” Julian asked.
Leon didn’t bother to point out that he had no way of knowing.
They listened to the sounds and watched the glow of firelight through the cracks in the walls.
Suddenly, the door opened. A short figure, masked and cloaked, slipped into the room. He drew a knife and both captives tensed. Swiftly, the stranger grabbed Leon’s arm and yanked his wrists up. He began sawing away at the rope, casting frantic glances over his shoulder. The ropes parted with a snap and Leon began to rub feeling back into his hands as the stranger set to work on Julian.
Soon Julian was free, and they scrambled to their feet. The stranger walked to the door and peered out. Then, he motioned for them to follow.
Leon and Julian crept to the door, hardly daring to breathe. Outside, they saw the source of the commotion. One of the bonfires in the village square was out of hand, and it had spread to several houses. Some of the men and women were trying to put it out, while others stared stupidly or laughed, too intoxicated to understand the danger.
The stranger darted into the shadows, and Leon and Julian followed. They came to a house built directly up against the tall fence that surrounded the village. The stranger climbed up a woodpile and scrambled onto the roof. Leon and Julian followed. They lay there for a moment, but no one had noticed them.
The stranger leaned close and whispered in a muffled voice. “Climb the fence and jump over. Supplies waits on the other side. Run as far as you can and keep going down. As long as you are going down, you’ll get out of the woods.
“Come with us,” Julian whispered.
The stranger shook his head. “May your God protect you. He is certainly punishing us for the innocent blood shed here tonight.” With that, the stranger dropped from the roof and disappeared into the shadows.
Leon looked toward the fire. He could see one house was completely burned down, and the flames were threatening to leap from the third house into a cart of wood. Rejoice with Him, O heavens; bow down to Him, all gods, for He avenges the blood of His children and takes vengeance on His adversaries. He repays those who hate Him and cleanses His people’s land. Leon was surprised, for he couldn’t recall memorizing that verse.
“Come on!” Julian whispered.
Leon turned and watched as Julian grabbed the wooden fence and pulled himself off the roof. He balanced on the logs in an awkward crouch and readjusted his handhold. Julian lowered himself over the edge and then slipped. He let out a gasp, and Leon heard him hit the ground. “Oh God, let him be alright,” he breathed.
Leon reached for the fence and swung up onto it. Looking down he could see only black darkness. “Julian, move!” he hissed. Sending up a silent prayer, he jumped. Leon landed and rolled in the soft snow to save his ankles. He saw Julian’s shadowy form slowly rising.
“Are you alright?” Leon whispered.
Julian spit a mouthful of snow for answer. He began rubbing the cold powder off his face and neck with both hands.
Leon slowly rose and felt around on the ground. His hands found leather and he picked up one of the rucksacks. It felt familiar, and he dared to hope that it was his own. If not, he and Julian would lose many important things.
Julian was already tugging a pack on, and Leon began to rise, when he felt something else. It was a third pack. Grabbing it, he stood up. The two sent up a quick prayer of thanks and a plea for guidance. Then, they set out into the darkness.
The journey was treacherous, and they constantly prayed that they wouldn’t come across a cliff or chasm. The snow was slick and icy, and several times one or other of them fell. Still, they pressed on, praying they would get out of the woods before it was discovered that they were missing.
At long last, the colors of dawn began to streak the sky, and Leon and Julian could see where they were. They continued for another half hour and at last came out of the woods.
Wide, snowy fields stretched out before them, but Leon thought he could see the thin brown line of the road not too far ahead. They broke into a light run and after another twenty minutes or so, they reached the road. They set a steady pace and walked in silence, for neither was ready to talk about what had happened.
It was almost noon when they came in sight of a village. Approaching cautiously, they were thrilled to see it was Dietenbruck.
Leon and Julian broke into a run, and soon they were entering the village. They made their way swiftly through the quiet streets to the Klein’s home. Leon knocked on the door, and the two waited, catching their breaths.
The door opened to reveal a young man a little taller than Leon. “How can I help you?” he asked, warily.
“Please sir, is this the home of the Bernd Klein?” Julian asked.
“One moment,” the young man said. He closed the door part way, and they heard him calling over his shoulder. The door was opened again, and there was Rolf. “Leon! Julian!” he cried. The three embraced and then Rolf motioned to the young man still holding the door. “This is Ernst, do you remember?”
“Ernst Klein! But… you’re all grown up!” Leon exclaimed. “I hardly recognize you.”
“Come in out of the cold! It’s freezing!” Rolf exclaimed.
They all entered, and then Rolf paused on the doorstep and looked about. “But wait, where’s Aelic?”
Fires will rise to testify that 2+2=4. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer
“I wonder what they’re doing,” he muttered. He began to wonder how the villagers planned to kill them, and a shudder ran down his spine.
This looks like the sort of thing you type ‘2’ at in my stuff.
Good-bye, Aelic.
Not sense Aaron and Adrian have I seen anyone die with such courage,”
*Since
Rejoice with Him, O heavens; bow down to Him, all gods, for He avenges the blood of His children and takes vengeance on His adversaries. He repays those who hate Him and cleanses His people’s land. Leon was surprised, for he couldn’t recall memorizing that verse.
There’s a close friend to our family who is very passionate about scripture memorization. He has memorized the entire New Testemant and has made it his goal to encourage others to memorize God’s word. He talks about how we don’t really forget anything, and sometimes, with a little push, something can be recalled with accuracy. I guess that’s part of what happened to Leon here. And of course the Holy Spirit can bring things to remembrance as well.
Julian was already tugging a pack on, and Leon began to rise, when he felt something else. It was a third pack. Grabbing it, he stood up. The two sent up a quick prayer of thanks and a plea for guidance. Then, they set out into the darkness.
See Julian, no boasting. You’ve got plot armor.
… For now at least.
Leon and Julian broke into a run, and soon they were entering the village. They made their way swiftly through the quiet streets to the Klein’s home. Leon knocked on the door, and the two waited, catching their breaths
I’m wondering where they are going to go after this.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
Whoops. 🫣😂
Good-bye, Aelic
yeah. 😭
There’s a close friend to our family who is very passionate about scripture memorization. He has memorized the entire New Testemant and has made it his goal to encourage others to memorize God’s word. He talks about how we don’t really forget anything, and sometimes, with a little push, something can be recalled with accuracy. I guess that’s part of what happened to Leon here. And of course the Holy Spirit can bring things to remembrance as well.
It’s so true though! I have a tone of scripture memorized, but if someone asks me outright to recite some verses, I’ll do something like John 3:16 or other common ones. 🤣 It’s times that make me think of the verses that I’m like, “wow, I had no idea I had that much memorized.”
See Julian, no boasting. You’ve got plot armor.
… For now at least.
Yeah……….
I’m wondering where they are going to go after this.
Guess we’ll have to see.
Fires will rise to testify that 2+2=4. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer
Okay.
I liked Aelic.
And I am now…mmmm.
*Glares*
I was honestly hoping Leon would somehow be able to take his place, even though I like Leon.
Besides my unhappiness over what happened, nice gut punch at the end. And um…
Honestly, this kid’s writer feels kinda sick after that, so she’s going to just step back and let other people comment.
A cup of tea is cheaper than therapy.
wow. Okay, so does it take something brutal to make you comment, because I haven’t heard from you in ages. 😂
Fires will rise to testify that 2+2=4. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer
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