Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › Final book in the The Flames of Hope Saga: The Dawn Will Come
- This topic has 298 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 14 hours, 6 minutes ago by
hybridlore.
-
AuthorPosts
-
May 1, 2025 at 8:59 am #202270
@freed_and_redeemed @hybridlore @koshka @keilah-h @elishavet-pidyon @liberty @linus-smallprint
NEXT SECTION!
The seventeenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
February 16th
The EmpireLoosing Aelic has been the most heartbreaking thing I have experienced since Adrian’s death. Aelic was such a dear brother, and we all loved him. I wish I could have really been there with him when he died, so that he wouldn’t have had to face it alone. Yet, thinking back to that night, I can see the look on his face, and I know he was not alone. I can hardly believe his courage and love to keep on calling out to his people, even as he slowly died at their hand. Oh, it makes me sick with anger when I think of what they did to him, yet I am also filled with a strength and peace when I remember Aelic. It will be hard to move forward without him, for he was such a dear and constant companion. The only way any of us can bare this is that we know we will meet again. We are all still trying to battle with the grief of these last weeks. First Dietrich and Marius, now Aelic. How many others have died that we will never know of? Who will be the next?
At least for now we are fairly safe in Dietenbruck, but that can’t last forever. I am sure people know that this is a Christian village, and I am sure soldiers will come. I only pray it will not be during the winter, for if it is, I doubt we will be able to escape them.~Leon
Several days passed, and they were days spent in mourning for those who had died.
“We have to be prepared,” Leon said one night as they sat about the Klien’s home. “The soldiers could attack us any day, and we need to know what we are going to do.”
Rolf turned away from the window. “We’ll have to flee the village.”
“Yes, but there is nowhere closer to the border that we can go. They have us backed against the border patrol and their advance from the Capital,” Julian said.
“The mountains,” Mr. Klein decided. “We will make for the mountains to the north.”
“That’s miles away from here, and with the snow and cold it will be treacherous,” Roland put in from where he was seated beside Liesl.
“It is our best hope. No soldier will be too keen on chasing us through those mountains, and no one lives in them.”
“There are reasons no one lives there, father. It’s because it’s uninhabitable,” Rolf replied.
“Or, not as pleasant to inhabit as other places,” his father suggested.
“Mr. Klein is right,” Leon said. “There will be ways to survive, and we will have a better chance than if we wait here for them to kill us all.”
Mr. Klien rose. “We need to bring up this plan to the rest of the village.”
Julian nodded. “I agree. Everyone must be ready and have bags packed and things they need close at hand. We never know how little of a warning we will get.”
***
Two weeks passed, and then one evening, Roland and Liesl came into the living room where everyone was sitting. Julian looked up and saw Liesl hugging Roland’s arm and Roland grinning like a boy. Mr. Klein smiled knowingly and winked at Rolf.
“Do you have something to tell us?” Ernst asked.
“Liesl and I are engaged!” Roland exclaimed.
After that it was hugs, back slapping, hand shaking, and congratulations all round. When the noise had settled down, Leon spoke. “When do you plan to get married?”
Roland looked to Liesl. “Tomorrow.”
“Oh no, we’ll never have time to plan a wedding all in one night!” Liesl laughed. “There must be a feast, and flowers, and all sorts of things. Besides, it’s too cold to do it outdoors, and no one has a big enough house!”
“Well then, as soon as possible,” Roland consented.
Talk continued, and Julian watched as Liesl laughed and held tightly to Roland’s hand. He felt a small touch of sadness, and he wondered if one day his own hand would no longer be empty. I trust You. May Your will, not mine, be done.
Two more weeks passed and then came another fall of snow.
One day, Julian and Ernst went out to the woodpile at the back of the house. As the two loaded logs onto a sled, Ernst looked up. He shielded his eyes with a hand and shushed Julian.
The two listened, and after a moment, Julian heard something in the distance.
Ernst was off like a shot, running low and keeping to the shadows. They came to a hill and Ernst climbed swiftly. He threw himself flat and inched up to the crest. Julian lay at his side, and the two looked down over the edge.
Below them, the sun glinting off their chainmail, was a company of soldiers. They were a little over a mile away from Dietenbruck, but the road wound around the rocky hills and would take them another three miles out of the way.
“They’re in battle formation,” Julian whispered.
“They’re coming for us,” Ernst hissed, his face pale.
“We have to warn the village,” Julian said. He slid part way down the hill and then got to his feet. He broke into a run, Ernst hot on his heals.
They raced into the village and Ernst ran swiftly home while Julian began knocking on doors and shouting the alarm. Soon the streets were filled with men, women, and children dressed in their warmest things and carrying packs on their backs. Julian ran into Leon, who handed him his rucksack. A little way off, Roland stood protectively by Liesl, and Ernst waited at his brother’s side, his eyes on the road behind them.
“Let’s go!” Mr. Klein called. “You all know where we are going. Stay with your families and move swiftly.”
Soon they were making their way through the knee-deep snow. They turned away from the road and started out across the fields.
They moved swiftly, Mr. Klein leading the way, and Ernst, Julian, Rolf, and Leon taking the back. There were only about twenty people in all, and there were very few children too young to walk with the speed needed.
Julian couldn’t help but look over his shoulder every few minutes, wondering if the soldiers had arrived and found the village deserted. Then it began to snow. It snowed harder and harder until it was almost impossible to see.
Julian pulled his hat low and wrapped his cloak tighter. Looking back, he could see absolutely nothing. Then, he understood. “Leon, God is shielding us from them and covering our tracks.”
Leon looked back, his teeth chattering. “We had better find shelter soon.”
They pressed on and on, hardly stopping to catch their breath. They stayed close to keep from losing one another in the snow. At last, they came to a pine forest and entered it. The small company walked about a mile through the woods and then collapsed for the night. They built small fires for warmth and to keep off wild animals. Then, they slept.
In the morning, the villagers woke stiff and cold. The fires had burned low in the night, and the snow had stopped.
Julian rubbed his eyes and crouched by the fire, holding out his cold hands to the flames. Leon added a few more sticks that had fallen from the treas. The fire hissed in protest against the wet wood, and the two jerked back, choking in the smoke.
Ernst lay curled up in his cloak a few feet away, and for a moment, Leon thought it was Aelic. Ernst rolled over, and he saw it was not Aelic after all. Leon felt a sharp pain of sorrow flash through him and turned away.
Roland was sitting up and Rolf was crouched nearby, going through his pack. Liesl slept a little way off with a few of the girls from the village.
Mr. Klein was already awake and was walking through the group, seeing if everyone was alright.
Rolf came up to Julian and handed him a piece of flatbread and a wedge of freezing cold cheese.
“Thanks,” Julian said, dividing it in half and offering some to Leon.
Mr. Klein joined them and crouched down by their small fire. “How are you boys holding up?”
“Fine, but we’re freezing,” Rolf said.
“How far are the mountains?” Leon wondered.
“If we’re where I think we are, then they should be another day’s journey. We need to get high and deep into the range, so it could be a week or so of travel,” Mr. Klein said.
Leon’s brow furrowed. “Do we have food to last that long?”
“Not likely,” Mr. Klein replied. “My prayer is that we run across a few deer or other game along the way.”
“Do you think we could sneak into a village or town to buy food and supplies?” Julian asked.
Mr. Klien shook his head. “No, I wouldn’t risk it. For one, we have nothing to bargain with, and second, we cannot risk being followed.”
“Speaking of being followed, thank God for yesterday’s snow,” Roland remarked.
The others agreed.
They pressed on through the woods, searching for a way out and into the mountains, but not daring to go back. They had to make camp in the woods again that night, for there was still no sign of a way out. The next morning, they continued, praying for a path out of the woods.
It was mid-afternoon when Ernst–– who had run ahead–– came racing back. “There’s a way out!”
Everyone let out sighs of relief and prayers of thanks. They followed Ernst through the woods and out into the open. They stood and stared over the wide fields.
There were no mountains.
“Where did they go?” Liesl asked.
Rolf and Mr. Klein ran ahead out into the fields. They looked around, and then Rolf pointed to the right. Mr. Klein looked up, and they saw him relax. The two came back.
“We got turned around in the woods and have been going north-west instead of north,” Mr. Klien explained. “The mountains are to our right. Come out past the bend in the woods and you’ll see them.”
Everyone did so, and they stood in silence, looking at the high jagged peaks that shattered the horizon. They were streaked with snow and some had trees while others were bare.
“Do we press on or stay here for the night?” Rolf asked.
“Stay,” his father replied. “We don’t know what lies ahead, and I see no shelter for miles.”
They set up camp just inside the woods. They had an early dinner, but it was still too light to sleep.
“Leon, I just thought of something,” Julian said.
“What?” Leon asked.
“Today is the Sabbath.”
Rolf looked up in surprise. “Really?”
“Well then, we ought to spend some time in worship,” Leon remarked. He stood up and walked to where Mr. Klein, Ernst, Liesl, and Roland were talking. He said something, and Mr. Klein nodded. Leon went back to where Julian and Rolf and waited. He pulled his Bible from his pack and stepped through the villagers to the center of the camp.
“Today is the Sabbath,” Leon said. “I thought we should take a moment to spend some time in worship.”
Everyone gathered closer and waited expectantly. Leon bowed his head. “Father God, we are gathered here on our flight from the enemy to spend time in worship of You. Keep us safe, bless this time, and give me a passage to read to the people here. Speak through me, Father.”
Leon stood silently for several minutes, and around him, he heard the whispered prayers of those gathered. Then, a passage came to his mind, and he knew what to read. Leon opened the Bible and flipped through the pages. “‘Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.’”
There was a long moment of silence. Then, Leon continued. “I don’t feel led to speak much about this. All I can say is that God is with us, and we must wait upon Him, no matter what may come. He will be with us, and He will give us strength.”
There were quiet murmurs of agreement.
“Let’s sing something,” Rolf said.
“You lead us,” Leon replied.
Rolf thought a moment, and then began to sing one of the psalms Heinrich had put to music and taught to them while they were visiting the university. The others listened to the first through lines, and then joined in.
“For God alone, I wait in silence;
My soul is still before the Lord
He is my rock and my salvation,
My fortress strong;
I trust in Him.I’ll not be shaken!
I’ll not be shaken,
For all my hope is in His love.
From God alone comes my salvation;
I wait and trust His steadfast love!Put not your hope in gain of riches;
Seek not your rest in empty wealth.
The rich are weak; the poor are mighty,
Who turn to God alone for help.I’ll not be shaken!
I’ll not be shaken,
For all my hope is in His love.
From God alone comes my salvation;
I wait and trust His steadfast love!Pour out your heart to God our refuge
And trust in Him to hear you cry.
No other hope will never fail you;
No other love will not run dry.I’ll not be shaken!
I’ll not be shaken,
For all my hope is in His love.
From God alone comes my salvation;
I wait and trust His steadfast love!I wait and trust His steadfast love!”
When they had finished, it seemed as though the song echoed for a long time. Suddenly, Julian raised his head.
The echo was not the same song.
Leon also looked in the direction of the sound and everyone held their breath. The new song came to an end, and they could hear a male voice rising in the waning evening.
Motioning for the others to keep quiet, Rolf and Julian got up and crept toward the sound. They peered out from the woods and saw a group about the size of their own. The people were walking through the snow, and at their head, a young man was walking backward, gesturing to enunciate his words. The two stared at the party of travelers. “Dare we go out there?” Rolf whispered.
Julian bit his lip, watching the group. “I… I don’t know.” He took a deep breath. “God, help us to know what to do.”
They waited several more minutes, and the Julian spoke softly. “Watch me from the trees. If I’m captured or I start running, then go and warn the others.”
Rolf nodded grimly.
Julian took a deep breath and raced through the edge of the woods, hoping he was far enough away that the muffled sounds in the snow wouldn’t carry to the travelers. He paused several yards from Rolf, and a good few closer to the group. Breathing a silent prayer, he stepped out of the woods. He walked toward the small company and got several paces before they noticed him. Everyone froze, and he saw the men in the group tense.
The leader stepped out to meet Julian. “Hello traveler, can I help you?”
Julian opened his mouth to reply and then stopped short. The man before him was very familiar. Then, with a start, he knew. “Governor Walter!”
“Julian!” Walter exclaimed.
Julian ran forward and the two embraced. Then Walter stepped back. “What on earth are you doing here?”
“I would ask the same of you!” Julian replied.
“We had to flee Wiedlisbourg,” Walter replied.
“But what about the others in the church?” Julian asked. “The people with you are hardly half of those I saw while last there.”
“These are all that yet live,” Walter replied quietly.
Julian felt a wave of sorrow wash over him. It was several moments before he found his voice, and when he did, it was hoarse. “Come and join our camp. We too have been forced to seek refuge in the wild with those of the village Dietenbruck.”
“Thank God we found you,” Walter said. “We were driven off our path by the storm and have been lost for the last two or three days.”
“We were driven off course as well,” Julian replied. “It seems God was leading us to the same place.”
They all walked toward the place where Rolf lay hidden. Rolf started in surprise when he saw the governor, and his face broke into a wide grin. After greetings were exchanged, they went on to the camp. When they arrived, Walter greeted Leon and Roland.
Everyone settled down, and those of Walter’s group ate a light dinner. It was about an hour before everyone had found a place to rest, and most were asleep.
Leon, the Kleins, Julian, and Roland all sat about one of the fires with Walter. They told him all that had happened since their last meeting. Walter was greatly dismayed when he learned of Aelic’s death, and Leon saw tears fill his eyes. When they finished with their story, Walter told them what had happened in Wiedlisbourg.
“After your warning, several families left to seek shelter in other less populated areas. Others started to distance themselves, and I fear their faith was not deeply rooted. By the time the soldiers came, they denied all they had once believed.” Walter paused, and those around the fire clenched fists or shook their heads.
“Seeds that fell in rocky soil,” Roland muttered.
“Walter, where are Carl Falk and Meinrad Ludwig, the two young men from the university? Don’t tell me they were part of those who turned!” Julian exclaimed.
“No,” Walter said. “No, Carl and Meinrad were strong in the faith, and they led and taught us well. It was an honor to have known them. When the soldiers came the first time, Meinrad was arrested, interrogated, and sentenced to death. They killed him in the square as a warning to the rest of us, and they warned Carl that if he continued to teach as he had been doing, that he would be next. Then, they left.
“For a week we were given peace. Then, one morning they broke in on our Sabbath worship. Carl was leading it, and they arrested him. He died as Meinrad did less than an hour later. The soldiers burned down several houses and left once again. That night, those of us who still confessed to believe in Christ fled. We have been out here for almost a week now. We have bought food where we could, but the last time, the two young men who went into the town were captured. We have stayed away from people after that, and we prayed God would show us where to go.”
“And He brought you here,” Roland finished.
Walter nodded.
They were silent for a long time, thinking over all that had occurred. At last, Mr. Klein spoke. “So, you will be joining us as we travel into the mountains?”
“Yes,” Walter replied. “For now, I see no other option but to disappear.”
“How long can one disappear in a country like this?” Rolf muttered.
Fires will rise to testify that 2+2=4. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer
May 1, 2025 at 12:25 pm #202271Why did this section make me think of The Sound of Music?
Two more weeks passed and then came another fall of snow.
These one sentence time skips aren’t bad, I just have a habit of missing them and then getting confused. Bad habit, that. The whole escape happened so fast and I kept missing things that I had no idea why they were suddenly in the mountains. I don’t think this is an ish-you. It’s an ish-me. I think it might have something to do with reading off a computer screen. But it is what it is. Maybe I should start reading off my phone more. I’m usually better with that. So don’t worry about fixing this unless a lot of other people are saying the same thing.
I guess Roland and Leisl needed more than two weeks to plan.
Julian opened his mouth to reply and then stopped short. The man before him was very familiar. Then, with a start, he knew. “Governor Walter!”
They found them by echo-location.
“How long can one disappear in a country like this?” Rolf muttered.
How large is the Empire and how crowded is it? Something tells me it isn’t like Canada: very big and very empty. I guess it usually doesn’t take them very long to get from one town to another.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
May 1, 2025 at 12:31 pm #202272I dunno. I like that movie a lot, but it never came to mind while I wrote this scene.
These one sentence time skips aren’t bad, I just have a habit of missing them and then getting confused. Bad habit, that. The whole escape happened so fast and I kept missing things that I had no idea why they were suddenly in the mountains. I don’t think this is an ish-you. It’s an ish-me.
They found them by echo-location.
😂
How large is the Empire and how crowded is it? Something tells me it isn’t like Canada: very big and very empty. I guess it usually doesn’t take them very long to get from one town to another.
It’s as if Rome was in Germany. So, a lot of good roads and cities and towns along those roads. However, if you get away from the roads, it’s pretty open. However, Rolf is referring to the idea that just about anyone they encounter is most likely an enemy, plus they are being hunted by the army.
Fires will rise to testify that 2+2=4. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer
May 1, 2025 at 12:40 pm #202273It’s as if Rome was in Germany. So, a lot of good roads and cities and towns along those roads. However, if you get away from the roads, it’s pretty open. However, Rolf is referring to the idea that just about anyone they encounter is most likely an enemy, plus they are being hunted by the army.
Okay.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
May 1, 2025 at 4:05 pm #202280Good section. I don’t have much to say about it. The stakes are rising.
“How are you boys holding up?”
“Fine, but we’re freezing,” Rolf said.
This took me back to that one scene with the soldiers… 😳 I was like, “Oh no.”
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C. S.
May 2, 2025 at 7:39 am #202297Yep, yep.
Glad it’s good.
This took me back to that one scene with the soldiers… 😳 I was like, “Oh no.”
Mhmmm.
I thought it might.
Fires will rise to testify that 2+2=4. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer
May 2, 2025 at 8:21 am #202302@freed_and_redeemed @hybridlore @koshka @keilah-h @elishavet-pidyon @liberty @linus-smallprint
NEXT SECTION!
With the numbers in their group increased, travel was slower. Still, they pressed on toward the mountains, keeping up a steady pace each day. Four days later they were climbing the foothills and still they continued higher up and farther into the mountain range.
The seventeenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
February 21st
The EmpireThis is the ninth day of our travels. We are high into the mountains now, and most of us have gotten over being sick from the change of altitude. Yesterday, Leon and Rolf climbed out on the edge of a cliff and spotted a company of soldiers riding about in the foothills. If they find our tracks, we will be in much more danger. It’s cold, but not terrible. The snow hasn’t started to melt, yet no more has fallen. For now, we are seeking a place to shelter for the rest of the winter… however much longer that may be.
~Julian
The seventeenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
February 25th
The EmpireStill no good place to shelter. Ernst thought he saw soldiers near where we began our climb. We’re going as quickly as we can, but food is running low, and we are all exhausted. We need shelter soon.
~Julian
The seventeenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
February 29th
The EmpireWe had a light snowfall in the night. This morning, we saw smoke rising from somewhere below us. It was in several streams, like campfires. We fear the soldiers may be following. We have to lose them, and we must find somewhere to hide. God, show us the way, keep us safe, and turn back the soldiers in pursuit!
~Leon
The seventeenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
February 30th
The EmpireIt was soldiers. Roland saw them beginning to climb very far below us. They are coming up here, and we must get to safety. Last night, we heard wolves. I wonder if one can eat wolves. I’m hungry enough to do so. The sky was cloudy today. It looks like more snow. I hope and pray it will not fall on us.
~Leon
The seventeenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
March 3rd
The EmpireIt’s snowing as I write. We are huddled in what shelter we can find under an overhang of rocks. Everyone is freezing and we can’t get a fire started. I don’t know how much longer we’ll be able to endure this. Perhaps attempting the border would have been better. I wonder if Helene, Erich, and Eden got out. I pray they did. I hope this snow holds off the soldiers a little while. Even though some of us have bows and hatchets and all of us have knives, it would be a losing battle should they come upon us.
~Julian
***
The wind was howling when Leon woke. He shivered in the cold and pulled his cloak tighter. Julian was sleeping with his back against Roland’s, and Ernst and Rolf lay not far away. The snow blew in little flurries and it was not as cold as it had been in the night. Leon slowly stood up, his stiff legs protesting the movement. Some of the others were already awake, and a few were standing. Among them was Walter. Leon watched the governor. He had always felt Walter was not a man made from power and the things he owned. Seeing him out here in the snow, dressed like anyone else, yet still smiling, Leon knew he had been correct.
Walter was crouched in the snow talking to a little boy who sat huddled against the rock walls, a blanket pulled up to his chin. Walter said something and the boy laughed. Leon smiled and walked toward them.
Walter rose and looked over at Leon. “Morning.”
“Good morning,” Leon replied.
“Ready to go get breakfast?”
“What?” Leon asked in confusion.
“There are tracks near the camp, and one of the village boys told me they can’t be more than an hour old.”
“What kind of tracks?” Leon wondered.
“Deer.”
Soon a small group of men and boys with bows and hunting spears were ready, and the hunting party set out after the deer. Leon had never been very skilled with the bow, so he chose to stay behind. Rolf went with them, though, as did Julian.
The rest continued, setting a slow pace so the hunters could easily catch up. In the evening, the hunting party rejoined them with a deer. That night, they were able to light a fire with wood they had carried with them from the forest. Everyone ate well and they were finally warm. The leftover meat they buried in the snow to keep cold.
The next morning, they ate the rest of the deer and continued. There seemed to be no sign of the soldiers for now, but the temperature was dropping. It began to snow around noon, and didn’t stop.
Julian was so cold he could hardly walk, but he pressed on beside Leon. Glancing back, he could see Roland and Rolf helping Liesl. Ahead of them, a woman stumbled and dropped to her knees, her child pressed close to her. Julian ran to help her up, and Leon took the little boy from her arms. Julian slipped an arm around the woman and helped her on up the path.
Night was falling fast and there was no shelter. They were hemmed in by high cliffs on either side, and the wind shrieked down the path.
“We’ll press on for as long as we can!” Mr. Klein shouted.
The message was passed down the line. They made it several paces farther but there was still no brake in the walls of sheer cliff faces. One by one, people dropped down to rest, and at last Walter looked up from where he was helping the stragglers. “We can’t go any farther!” he shouted up the line.
“We’ll stop here then!” came the reply.
Everyone hunkered down, trying to stay warm. Julian leaned against Leon, pulling his hat down and his scarf up over his face. “God, keep us safe tonight,” he whispered.
The next morning, Julian woke to a horrible sound. Someone was crying.
***
The seventeenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
March 12th
The EmpireLast night it snowed all night. In the morning, we woke to discover a young woman and three of the children had died from the cold while we slept. Not only are we heartbroken at their death, but all of us are terrified. What will happen to us?
We are going to continue to press on and we pray we can find something, anything, where we could make shelter for the rest of winter. If we could find an open space and trees we could build cabins, or we could shelter in caves… there has to be something up here. It can’t be endless cliffs and narrow paths.
Lord, ease the ache in our hearts and help us to trust You. Show us what to do, where to go, and how to survive!~Julian
The small company pressed on through the now knee-deep snow. They hadn’t the day before, and there had been nothing for breakfast in the morning. Julian knew they had to find some sort of shelter or food soon. Several of the families had more then two small children, and soon Leon and the other single young men were carrying them. They pressed on and on, pausing now and then to drink the snow they had melted and filled their water skins with.
On and on they went, and Leon wondered how far one could go before it was physically impossible to keep walking. It was nearly evening when a shout came from ahead. Leon set down the boy he was carrying and raced ahead, his hand going for the knife at his belt. He rounded a corner and slid to a stop.
There was no one there.
“Leon!” came a shout.
Leon looked up to see Ernst beckoning from the top of a slope to the left. Leon scrambled up to him. Mr. Klein, Ernst, and another young man stood in an wide space sheltered on three sides by cliffs. In the face of one of the cliffs was an opening. Ernst was already striking flint over a small pile of tinder, and Mr. Klein had unhooked a lantern from his rucksack. The tinder lit, and soon they had a small flame dancing in the lantern.
The three came to the mouth of the cavern, and Leon drew his knife while Ernst hovered just behind, an arrow on the string of his bow.
Mr. Klein held up the lantern and they peered into the darkness. There was no movement, and–– taking a deep breath–– Leon stepped in. Mr. Klein and Ernst followed. The cavern was dry and empty. It was about twenty feet in both directions, but narrowed into a passage in the back.
Mr. Klien opened the lanter, and as they moved deeper, he kept his eyes on the flame. They followed the passage with caution and stepped into a huge room. The roof was over fifty feet high, and the width and breadth of the chamber were three times that length. A few smaller chambers branched off to the right and left, and another hall to the right led to a chamber about the size of the first. Looking up, they cold see small holes in the roof periodically, which let in clean air and a steady drip of snowmelt in a few of the corners.
Leon fell to his knees in the center cavern, covering his face with his hands. “Oh thank You God!” he whispered. “Thank You.”
Fires will rise to testify that 2+2=4. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer
May 2, 2025 at 10:07 am #202308Yay!! They finally found shelter!
Good transitioning scenes. I feel bad for the woman and the kids though.
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C. S.
May 2, 2025 at 10:09 am #202309Thanks!
Yeah, me too. That was sad.
Fires will rise to testify that 2+2=4. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer
May 3, 2025 at 9:12 am #202358@freed_and_redeemed @hybridlore @koshka @keilah-h @elishavet-pidyon @liberty @linus-smallprint
NEXT SECTION!
The seventeenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
March 13th
The EmpireWe are all settled down inside a cave complex the Lord led us to. It has begun to really snow in earnest outside, but we have wood for a fire tonight, and tomorrow some of us will go and hunt for more. The caverns are very large, and there is more than enough room. All the families have their own little areas that they have screened off with blankets. The single girls sleep in the very back chamber, and we young men have the front. The middle chamber is for our normal day-to-day living. It isn’t perfect, but we are thankful nonetheless. In the spring, we hope to build cabins in the open space outside and use the caverns for storage. There was nothing for supper, so we will go hunting tomorrow and hopefully we’ll find something edible. Thank You, Lord for providing this place.
~Leon
The seventeenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
March 14th
The EmpireWe found a forest and dragged a good supply of deadfall to the cavers. We also shot a mountain goat and two squirrels. Some of the women brought spices from their home, and they mixed the meat together and made a very good meal. Now that we have a good hot fire going, those who brought grain and flour are starting to add small cakes of bread to our meals. The snow stopped this evening, so we hope to go foraging tomorrow. It is so much warmer in the caves, and everyone is in high spirits. It makes me so sad to think of those who died on the trail. We were so close! Sometimes it’s hard to understand what God is doing. Still, He is taking care of us, and He knows the plan He has for each and every one of us.
~LeonThe seventeenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
March 17th
The EmpireWho knew so many things grew during the winter! I can hardly believe the abundance of supplies we have gathered over the last three days. Many of the young men and women have been foraging in groups up and down and through the woods not too far from here. It is a forest mixed with both evergreens and deciduous trees, and with that comes many good things to eat. We found several oak trees, and after digging about were able to fill our baskets with Acorns. One of the girls explained that we must leach the tannins out of the Acorns before they will be edible. (whatever that means) We must grind them into flour first and then put them in a bowl and poor cold water over the top. Every six hours the water must be changed. After five to ten days the flour should be ready to bake with. I can hardly wait for more fresh bread!
We also found beech and pine nuts and filled several baskets with those. Ernst got in an argument with a squirrel who kept throwing nuts at him. Ernst shot it. We’ll have a good meal with it tonight. Some of the girls found Dock plants and stripped baskets full of seeds from them. We’ll use those for flour too.
One of the best treats was when Rolf and some of his friends brought in several rucksacks filled with crabapples! How good it tasted to eat fruit! They were frozen, but we roasted some by the fire and they were wonderful. There were several winter berries and some rosehips, and right now the women are sorting the baskets of mushrooms we brought in. we have also set nets in the brooks we discovered in hopes of catching fish. And of course, there are the squirrels, rabbits, and an occasional deer. God has been very good to us. It took something like this for me to see the extent of His provision for His creation– both man and animals.~Julian
Leon, Ernst, and Julian dug about in the snow with their bare hands, searching for more nuts. They had a basket that was already half filled. Ernst found some and sorted through his handful, tossing the rotten and bug-eaten ones aside. They could hear laughter a little ways off and knew that another party of foragers was hard at work.
There was a rustle in the trees, and Julian froze. The others looked at him and he held a finger to his lips. They remained silent and listened. There was more rustling and the sound of something pulling on leaves, and the branches springing forward and back with the force. Ernst lifted his bow from the ground and quietly nocked an arrow. Leon drew his knife and followed a short distance behind Ernst, ready to assist him should the need arise.
They crept through the trees and over several large rocks. Ernst froze in a crouch and drew his bow back. Leon spotted a wild mountain goat not too far away. Suddenly he noticed something else. He grabbed Ernst’s hand and shook his head. Ernst raised an eyebrow, and Leon pointed to the baby goat sanding not far off. Ernst slowly let out the tension in the string and lowered the bow, returning the arrow to his quiver.
At that moment, Leon had an idea. The goat was hemmed in on three sides by steep cliffs, and they held the fourth. He made a motion for Ernst to stay and then crept back a few paces. Julian had gotten to his feet and was watching. He came softly at Leon’s gesture. “Let’s catch it,” Leon breathed.
Ernst shrugged and Julian nodded.
Working slowly and systematically, the three approached the goat. She eyed them suspiciously and began to look for an option of flight. There was none except for straight at her attackers or onto a steep ledge. She chose the ledge and leapt onto it. Julian tackled the baby and held it while Ernst raced forward and leapt onto a rock, grabbing the mother goat by the leg and throwing her off balanced. The two fell into the snow together, and Leon tacked the goat. He pinned her down while Ernst yanked off his hunting pack and pulled out a rawhide rope. He quickly tied it over the goat’s head like a harness. Leon let the goat go and Ernst braced. She pulled and Ernst stumbled forward. He yanked back and she stopped moving, causing him to sit down hard. “Why do you want them!” he gasped.
“It’s a mother, which means she’ll have milk,” Leon explained.
Ernst relaxed his pulling. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
The goat jerked and he face-planted in the snow. Ernst rolled over sputtering. “Is it worth the trouble?”
***
The seventeenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
March 20th
The EmpireWe have two new additions to our little colony. Daisy and her kid, Rosy. (The children named them, not me.) The goat milk has been added to our soups and bread, and it has made a world of difference. Everyone has decided we need to try to catch a buck in the spring to breed the two so that we’ll have more milk in the years to come. The two goats are settling in quiet well. We keep the mother tethered while she feeds, but the kid stays close to her and is already starting to follow the children around. They have a little shelter some of the older boys built for the night. It has been wonderful to hear the children laugh and play with the two. My only longing now is that spring would come.
~Julian.
The seventeenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
March 24th
The EmpireThe days are passing swifter now that we have a warm place to go. There are still some threats up here, but not nearly as bad as we had feared. We heard wolves again last night, and we have decided each of us single young men must take an hour every night to keep watch. I wish there was a way to better fortify this place, but as of yet, all the wood we cut is needed to keep the fires going, and the ground is much to frozen to try and drive in stakes as a fence.
~Leon
The seventeenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
March 27th
The EmpireGod has continued to provide food for both minds and spirit. We have found that many of us know hymns that others don’t, and likewise, they know hymns that we don’t. We have gone around learning new songs to sing each evening. And every evening, we work on memorizing passages of scripture. We also tell stories at night about things that happened in our lives and ways God helped us and guided us. It has been a wonderful time. And to top it all off, Rolf and two other village boys brought in a deer this evening. We’ll have a feast tonight!
~Leon
The seventeenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
March 30th
The EmpireIt snowed again last night. We heard wolves closer than ever before. It’s getting colder again. Thank God we have a good supply of dry firewood in the main cavern. I’m on watch at the moment, but I’m so tired and cold I could go to sleep right now. That’s why I’m writing this down. I wonder what’s going on in the rest of the Empire. I wonder how those still in the heat of this fight are doing. I feel like I’m in retreat, and I don’t really like the feeling. Yet, God has not shown me what to do.
~Julian
Julian looked up from his work and peered into the blackness. He put away his writing things and stood up to walk. He paced to one end of the cavern and then the other, listening to the deep breathing of those around him. He spotted Mr. Klein sleeping nearby with his two sons. The man had chosen to give up the offer of a small, secluded shelter for the family after Liesl’s request to sleep in the girl’s cavern and Rolf’s decision to stay with Roland.
A howl sent a tingle down Julian’s spine. He gripped the hunting spear he had been given.
Another howl came, this one very close, and Julian picked up the lantern off a rock shelf and held it out to the entrance. Several pairs of yellow eyes glinted back. Julian leapt away with a shout. He quickly set the lantern down and spun, flinging more branches on the fire as the others scrambled up.
The wolves growled, but they were hungry, and they decided the threat was worth the potential kill. The winter had been harsh on every creature.
The first wolf entered the cavern, and Julian spun to engage it. Before he could, the wolf hit the floor. Julian glanced to the left and saw Ernst reloading his bow. The others were scrambling for weapons, and Julian turned as three more wolves attacked. He met one with his spear. The second fell to another of Ernst’s arrows, and Leon took out the third with a spear of his own.
The fire flared up as the new wood finally caught, and they could see at least ten more wolves outside. The next few moments were a desperate struggle mixed with shouts, growls, teeth and weapons. Julian stabbed one wolf, but another crashed into him, knocking him onto the ground. The creature began tearing savagely at Julian’s vest, trying to draw blood. Julian frantically grabbed the fur around the animal’s neck and rolled, flinging the creature off him. It slid and regained its footing, leaping onto Julian’s back as he tried to regain his own.
Julian twisted and tried to grab the wolf. Something sharp tore through his clothing and into his back. Julian fell with a cry and rolled. The next moment, Roland had leapt onto the wolf, a knife in his hand. Julian scrambled up, gasping for breath. He turned in time to see two wolves attacking one of the other young men. He had fallen to the ground and one wolf had sunk its teeth into his shoulder. The young man had lost his bow and was driving a fist into the wolf’s head as the other prepared to pounce on him. Julian didn’t have time to find his spear. He yanked free his knife and attacked the second wolf while Roland went to help the young man get free of the first.
The two wolves were quickly killed, and Julian looked up. The last of the wolves were running from the cave, a few young men with spears and bows hot on their tracks. Twelve wolves lay dead, and four were wounded. Someone ran into the inner chamber to get supplies and bandages. Roland was kneeling by the archer who had been bit. Rolf was helping his father stanch the bleeding of a wound to his side, and Ernst stood nearby, a worried look on his face.
Leon came to Julian, holding a corner of his cloak over his bleeding hand. “Are you alright?” he asked.
“Yeah, one of them scratched me in the back, but I don’t think it’s serious. What about you?” asked Julian.
“I got bit in the hand and the arm,” Leon said. “I’ll be alright.”
Several women and girls came in, and soon a pot of snow was set to heat, and the wounds were cleaned and dressed. “We really need to do something about the easy approach to this place,” Leon said, as one girl wrapped his injured hand in clean cloth.
“Agreed,” Walter replied as he sat cleaning his spear.
“What can we do?” Julian asked, wincing as a woman wiped the blood from the scratch on the back of his neck.
“I don’t know,” Walter said. “We need some sort of fence or barricade. It can be rebuilt once the snow melts, but we just need something to keep them out right now. They hungry and savage.”
“Then we’ll get to work in the morning,” Leon said.
***
The next morning, everyone sat about the fires in the main cavern and the story of the wolf fight was told and retold over and over. The little boys viewed the elder ones who had been a part of the fight as heroes and pestered them with questions all morning.
“Want to go out and see what wolves we shot in the night?” Ernst asked, walking up to Julian and Leon.
“Sure,” Julian said. “Do you think we can use them for food?”
“I’m not about to let them go to waste,” Ernst replied.
“You go ahead, I’m exhausted,” Leon yawned.
“What will you do?” Julian asked.
“Read a little. I might even take a nap,” Leon said. “That is, if you don’t need my help right now.”
“No, we’ll be fine. You’ve done a lot, and it won’t hurt us if you need to rest,” Ernst said.
“Wake me up when you start that fence or barricade, or whatever we’re going to build,” Leon said.
Outside, Julian, Rolf, Ernst, and Roland gathered around the dead wolves they had dragged out of the cavern the night before. A little ways off they found another that had been shot in flight, and they followed a blood-trail to a second. The human tracks ended a little after that, and there were no more blood-trails, indicating the others had escaped.
They returned to the slain wolves, and soon the group had begun work. “We should tan the wolf hides,” remarked the archer Julian and Roland had saved. His name was Flannan.
“I agree,” Ernst said. “They will make warm coats, blankets, and gloves.”
“We could mend our boots too,” Rolf remarked.
They worked for several hours. It was a cold, messy business, but the boys made the best of it by telling stories and riddles. Julian worked along with the rest, his wolf scratch only remembered when he bent and picked up something heavy. It was near midday when he noticed Flannan pause to catch his breath.
“Are you alright?” Julian asked.
“Yeah, my shoulder’s hurting,” Flannan replied, bringing a hand to the wound and wincing.
“Do you want to take a break?” Julian asked. As he cleaned his knife and hands in the snow.
“No, I might just get a drink though,” Flannan replied. He stood up and took two steps. He wavered and grabbed a large bolder. His knees buckled and he hit the ground.
“Flannan!” Julian yelled, leaping to his feet. He ran forward and dropped down, pulling Flannan over on his back. He was unconscious and his breathing was labored. Rolf and Roland joined Julian.
“What happened?” Rolf asked.
“I don’t know,” Julian replied. “Help me get him inside.”
Roland and Julian carried the unconscious Flannan inside as Rolf ran ahead to find help. They laid him down, and Julian pressed two fingers to his wrist. “His pulse is weak.”
“What happened?” Roland asked.
“Like I said, I don’t know. He got up to get a drink and then collapsed,” Julian replied.
Roland laid a hand against Flannan’s forehead. He’s burning with fever.”
“We need to get him out of these hot over-clothes,” Julian said, as he tugged Flannan’s cloak off.
Roland pulled off the young man’s hat, scarf, and gloves, and they both worked his leather vest off. “Julian, look!” Roland exclaimed.
Julian looked up and saw blood around the edges of Flannan’s bandaged arm. He worked the young man’s sleeve down so as to access the bandage. He quickly began to unwrap the cloth, but after the second time around it became stuck. Rolf appeared and hurried to them.
“Get me some hot water and fresh bandages,” Julian said.
Rolf nodded and sprinted off again. He returned a few minutes later with the requested items. Julian picked up the bowl of water and felt the temperature. Deeming it was not going to burn Flannan; he poured it over the bandage. Slowly, Julian worked the bandage free, and the three sucked in sharp breaths of shock. The wounds were horribly discolored and were weeping over Flannan’s arm. Julian quickly began to clean them, calling for more water and the wine they had brought for wounds.
Flannan flinched as Julian worked, but he did not wake. God help him! Please help him! Julian pleaded.
At last, Julian rocked back onto his heels and surveyed his work. He shook his head and gratefully accepted the wet cloth Roland offered to clean his hands.
“Is he going to be alright?” Rolf asked.
“I don’t know,” Julian replied. “The wound was horribly infected, but I don’t know why. We made sure to clean it well last night!”
“How do you feel? You were wounded,” Roland said.
“I’m fine,” Julian said. Then, he had a creeping sense of dread. Standing swiftly, he hurried to the other end of the chamber where Leon lay wrapped in his blanket, his face to the rocky wall. “Leon,” Julian said, shaking him as hard as he could.
Leon didn’t stir. Julian grabbed his wrist and let go with a gasp. It was burning hot to the touch. “No!” Julian whispered. “No, no, no. Come on Leon!” He shook his friend harder, his hands shaking with fear. “Come on Leon!”
Rolf and Roland ran to him, their faces clearly showing their fear.
At that moment, a girl’s scream echoed through the caverns.
Fires will rise to testify that 2+2=4. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer
May 3, 2025 at 10:43 am #202362Dun dun duuuunnnn.
Nice! I really liked those last few chapters!
Notes…
Poor Julian. He’s a lonely little guy.
Night was falling fast and there was no shelter. They were hemmed in by high cliffs on either side, and the wind shrieked down the path.
This section made me think of Carahadras. Brrrrrrr.
…
Hmm. They seemed to escape the wolf attack really well. No one had faces or necks mauled. Nice!
…
Eek! Be careful! Dog/animal bites are usually infected.
His name was Flannan.
Flannan… As in Flanagan? As in Ranger’s Apprentice? I mean, it’s not O’Carrick or Will, but it made me laugh. Perfect name for an archer.
The wounds were horribly discolored and were weeping over Flannan’s arm.
Infected. Yep. That’s not good.
Leon didn’t stir.
Uh oh. Is it another heart attack? Can heart attacks be fever induced?
-
This reply was modified 2 weeks, 5 days ago by
Elishavet Elroi. Reason: Danger's Apprentice? Cool name, but no
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
May 3, 2025 at 11:53 am #202364Oh no!!! Not Leon!!
Good section. One thing I noticed was that you mentioned that the people were able to find a lot of food during the winter… then you said that it had been hard on everyone, especially the wolves. I get that they eat meat and not plants, but it was kind of confusing.
otherwise, good job! 😬
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C. S.
May 3, 2025 at 1:39 pm #202370Ugh. I kingdom pen didn’t let me know about the section yesterday and I forgot to check.
Question out of curiosity: How do you decide if the journal entries you share should be from either Leon or Julian? Some authors may try to give an even number for both characters, but you seem to have some sort of method for choosing them.
These sections were nice and refreshing as they were something new and different we haven’t seen much before. We’ve been given sections on survival before, but not in the wilderness. It was nice to get a break without the government being the primary problem, even if they are still the cause. Good job!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
May 3, 2025 at 7:00 pm #202389yes. That is appropriate sound effects there. 😂
Poor Julian. He’s a lonely little guy.
woah!! What makes you say that? 😅
lololol. I wrote this before reading those. Yes, perfect archer name.
as for Leon… we shall have to see.
Fires will rise to testify that 2+2=4. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer
May 3, 2025 at 7:02 pm #202390oh yes Leon.
huh. I mention that a lot of what the people are eating is vegetation and wolves don’t eat that.
odd that it was confusing… 🫤is there a better way to word it you think?
Fires will rise to testify that 2+2=4. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer
-
This reply was modified 2 weeks, 5 days ago by
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.