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Ooooy! It’s Mikkel!!!!
That’s awesome! I love it. Especially the wording.
I can hardly wait to read the rest!!!
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
Aahhhhhhh!!!!!!! Alwin, my dear lad…*sigh* That sounds awesome for a first chapter; definitely something I could get hooked on.
Honestly I’ve always envisioned your books to be more YA than middle grade, so don’t worry about that. Your themes will be more powerful to an older age group anyway.
Yes, it’s Mikkel! Thank you, I’ll try to get hash out the rest of that chapter soon.
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the Gork@koshka that honestly reads like it could be a death scene, even tho it’s from first person pov! And it is so gripping!!
"[Write] today like there's no tomorrow!"
Mwahaha… It is supposed to be, just not exactly in the normal sense. He is dying in this scene, but *spoiler* he makes it through. Good! It has to get my readers’ attention and hopefully shake them.
This is actually pulling up some writing struggles on my side. The overarching theme of this book is hope, beyond reason, beyond the grave. Mikkel has a bunch of struggles (connected with this theme), one of which is suicide. I have been blessed never to deal with this, and I’m not sure how to write it. At the moment he never realizes exactly what is going on untill afterwards, when his arch is complete. I’m not making a dramatic show of it, nor passing it over as ‘just stuff’s, but where in the middle do I need to be?
His story is partially based off of several testimonies.
*Spoiler* he never actually commits suicide (whether successful or not), but he comes to the point of breaking several times. The scene I posted is the aftermath of a shell.
Does that make sense, or is it all garble? If there’s anyone you could tag, I need help.
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkHis condition is largely trauma induced (his world’s version of a marine in something like WWII mixed with Iraq). The shell is actually what saves his life in the long run.
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the Gork- Rank: Chosen One
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@koshka. Hey. Sorry for busting in, but have you tried doing research or talked to people that have struggled with thoughts of suicide or even attempted suicide? Also, keep in mind that suicide normally stems from a bad thought that normally starts very small but can grow, like a weed, when it isn’t quenched and stopped. Though it never got that far, I once doubted God and everyone else’s love at a point in my life. I never actually completely contemplated suicide, but I did think for a while that hey, maybe God, my family, the world…would be better off without me around.
Think about what makes Mikkel contemplate suicide. Since you say it’s trauma induced, does he suffer from PTSD? If so, you would then need to think about and learn about PTSD and what normally leads Veterans and others to commit suicide. Many times, it’s because they can’t readjust to normal life and they feel as though no one understands them, what they’re going through, and no one understands what they previously went through. But also remember that each individual is different. Suicide is a difficult, touchy issue, and I cheer you on for wanting to address it with Mikkel.
Also, the best advice is this: PRAY. If you have no idea how to address suicide and trauma, or you’re starting to really struggle with it, then talk to God about it. 🙂 Honestly, that’s the best advice I can give for any writing struggles. 😉
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@koshka. Also, your scene is beautiful. 😀
@freedomwriter76
You’re fine! I’m sorry this reply is so late.
What research I’ve actually done was mostly reading /hearing testimonies, and study material for a lifeline ministry. I haven’t had anyone who’s personally delt with suicide to talk it over with, at least someone I could trust their advise, if you know what I mean.
I will remember that. I’m so sorry you went through that, but thank you for sharing.
I believe it is partially PTSD, and that he loses hope anything will get better, that the war will ever end. Mikkel comes to hate his life, where he is, what he has to witness and do. Part of him would rather be dead than see the things constantly around him.
Does that make sense?
Thank you. I knew it would be difficult when I began, but I wasn’t expecting how.
Yes, the more the better! Thank you!
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the Gork- Rank: Chosen One
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@koshka. You’re welcome. 🙂 It’s a story and struggle I’m willing to share, especially if it helps someone else that’s going through the same thing.
That makes total sense! I can understand that. When he sees all the carnage and horrible things, I can understand WHY he’d rather die than keep watching the world around him…be the way it is.
You’re Very Welcome! <3
And yes, the more prayer the better! 🙂
So, I know I haven’t talked much about this dear, but that’s mostly because she’s a side character.
This scene may in all probability never make it to the final document, but seriously y’all, it makes me want to cry, and I don’t do that much over books.
(She is not praying to her dad. That’s is what she calls God, as she doesn’t remember her father.)
A gentle breeze tugged mischievously at Annia’s skirt. She leaned against the tree trunk behind her, thrice as thick as her blessed perch. Her keep in trouble.
One, two, three…
The rhythm beat its way from her heart, in tune with the world around her.
One, two…
Just out of their reach, she swung her feet above the dancing heads of wheat.
One…
Annia leaned out, trying how far she could stretch without the golden fingers tickling her. No matter how far they reached they couldn’t find her outstretched toes. No, she was safe.
One, two, three…
“Daddy?” She closed her eyes, face turned towards the great blue heavens. “You know where Mike is. Make him smile today. And Celia too. Take care of them. You love them so much. Thank you.”
Annia smoothed a letter against her knee, tearfilled eyes blurring the words. Two months ten days ago.
One, two…
She kissed the faded paper.
“Just make him smile.”
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
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@koshka. *GASPS* IS THAT MIKKEL’S SISTER!? And girl, I see what you mean! I wanna cry too! *sobs*
@freedomwriter76
YES! This is Mikkel’s sister, (and the only one on the planet allowed to call him Mike).
I know!!! I was writing that and was like ‘WHY DO I DO THIS TO ME?!’
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
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@koshka. I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER ALREADY!!!!
Haha. I feel like that a lot. XD I’m like: “WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF!? WHY!? WHY DO I TORTURE MYSELF LIKE THIS!?”
BUT…in the end, I’m like, well, all this pain that my characters and I go through will be worth it one day. So…I keep going. 😉 XD
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@godlyfantasy12. Girl, your scenes are AWESOME!!! Poor November. *sobs* Riven reminds me of Franz, Riker’s dad. And…uh…so…is there anyway I can just punch Riven for ya? 😉
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