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@lydia-s Dragon? Cool!!
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
@keilah-h thank you!! Hopefully I’ll get them published before I’m an old lady 🙄
Oh! I liked all of them and I figured that you were referring to your work in general 🙂 sorry I can be confusing 😂
I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title
@lydia-s you’re welcome
he is though!!!
I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title
Thank you so much for that excerpt. I really enjoyed it because you got to learn more about Kaunon. In the last one you only understood that Alinna is a brave and selfless person. But here Kaunon was also great and you could really feel his bravery as he fought the dragons and panic about how Alinna was doing.
It totally makes sense that his grief is so extreme because he’s been going through so much emotional and physical turmoil. It’s cool that his people die when the people they love die and shows a lot about his culture. But how do you keep that from having a weird spiralling effect with everyone dying in the end?
Yeah I understand that completely. There probably is a lot of context that was developed in past scenes. But I could guess a lot of stuff about the Death Rams and Aurd. Like the Death Rams are super strong and powerful but villains like Aurd can control them and organize them into armies?
Haha. That’s good especially if they are teen. And also they are more ways to show that a couple are happy and relieved to see each other than kissing.
Great work! If you ever have any stuff posted for critique please tell me because I love your work!
Wishing you creative inspiration and frenzied writing sessions,
Precious
Ooh! That sounds great. Is your story told from the perspective of your villain? Or is your villain more of a antagonist? My work in progress involves main characters who are morally ambiguous because of their worldviews. But I haven’t gotten beyond “stereotypically evil and wants to destroy the world and hurt people” for my villains character development. Any tips?
@precious-y first of all, can I say I love your name? idk if Precious is your real name or a pen name but I love it!! I totally wanna call a character that at some point… i love looking for cool and unique names
I’m so glad that the excerpt showed that about Kaunon; he’s a brave kid, but the one with the foot-shaped mouth so to speak, and a bit of a clown at times XD
Also, with the dying-when-love-dies problem; his people who have that, are only on one side of his family; he’s not full-blooded, and the Silyans (those people) are very rare; they live isolated and are immortal unless they marry a mortal, then they live as long as their spouse; that is the Creator’s way of them not living in eternal grief lol
Kaunon and Alinna both have the Silyan blood, but other than their families, there are very few people who have it.
And I agree about the couple/happiness thing! hugs, smiles, gifts, are so touching, and emotions are expressed in many ways. these two do kiss later on, but it’s after not seeing each other for months and thinking the other is gone or dead (it never crosses their minds that if the other were dead they would be… they’re typical teens with selective memory and i include myself in that statement *eyeroll)
Thanks for the well-wishes! 🙂
I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title
@precious-y I would say my villain is a central character, though right now I have the POVs of the villain, the hero, and the villain’s friend. There’s a lot more characters than I anticipated, ha… Maybe this will be longer.
Hmm….villain character development… Kingdom Pen has a lot of great articles on them! Since your characters are morally ambiguous, I would suggest maybe looking at one of them and seeing what events could cause them to fall to villainy. But yeah, definitely check out the articles.
Lately, it's been on my brain
Would you mind letting me know
If hours don't turn into daysHey. I’m glad you like my name. Precious is a great name for a character in your story and you could make it indicate a lot about their personality
That sounds great! I love the mischeivous character with a heart of gold
Oh that makes so much more sense. It is merciful for them to die when their spouses die. Because immortality isnt as great as it’s cut out to be. I’ve read enough of Circe and Tuck Everlasting to know about that. And it also shows the disadvantages most people don’t consider abojut being supernatural in general.
I think having the kiss later on in the story during a very emotionally fraught time makes is better. I’m sure that it will really establish the strength of their relationship to the reader because it hasn’t been cheapened by being used so many times. Trust me we all have selective memories. For me the issue is when I forget the flaws of protagonists in my favorite stories.
Sorry about answering for so long. I’ve been stressing over studying for my standardized exams that are coming up soon. I have a story that will be finished soon though! I’ll probably post it into the critique section this weekend.
Wishing you productive writing sessions,
Precious
@precious-y oh that’s all good! I know everyone has their lives with their own busyness XD I’ve pretty much been ignoring everyone on here for almost a week because I’ve flown across the country and visiting family before moving out to my job. XD
Anyhow, yes, I hope that the immortality part sends that message; there are a few people in my story who are immortal, their pain and often regret shows being immortal is not all it’s shined up to be.
I’m glad you liked the scene!! 🙂 and I agree. Not overusing it so it is even better later!
hope your story goes well!! 🙂
I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title
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