Dramatic Scenes

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  • #102882
    Anonymous
      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
      • Total Posts: 1379

      @devastate-lasting @godlyfantasy12

      Goodness sakes, y’all’s scenes are AWESOME. Gave me chills!

      #102884
      GodlyFantasy12
      @godlyfantasy12
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 6647

        @joy-caroline thank you so much!!! Ahhh glad u like it! It is the first draft so that gives me hope that it will get better lol!!

        #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
        #ProtectMarcel
        #ProtectSeb

        #102885
        Elfwing
        @elfwing
          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
          • Total Posts: 486

          @keilah-h

          Yes I do but in this particular scene it’s a metaphor, but I do have lots of dragons and some dragon people in my stories.

          heres one; Evyrett Knayaz

          prince of the serpent people. He’s a liiittle nervous around anything bigger than him it bring around any other living beings in general

          Heres the story scene that goes with it;

          Kaunon sighed, “I hope my parents don’t find out I’m helping someone escape a country…”

          “They already have.” Dorok said flatly from behind them.

          Kaunon yelped and turned around, heart thumping and hair standing on end. “D-Dad!”

          Dorok looked at Evyrett, who was standing silently by Zakkom, then looked at Alinna, and suddenly an unexpected smile spread across his face, “Well, you two are clever! Now, get the poor man out of here before I remember what happened.” he winked and Alinna grinned, “yes sir!”

          They got Evyrett to the stable, and Alinna sighed, “what is he gonna ride on?”

          A funny sounding bray from the end of the stable made Zakkom smile, “A mule can carry him!” he hurried to the stall, and let out the other mule he had brought with him.

          The animal trotted over to Evyrett, and looked at him with intelligent eyes, but Evyrett backed away at first, unsure, scaling over again. The mule slowed down, and nickered. Evyrett continued to back away, and Zakkom’s smile faded.

          The mule slowly approached again, and stopped right in front of him, gazing at him with its large hazel eyes, seeming to reflect Evyrett’s scared ones.

          The mule nickered and then raised its head, lipping at the young man’s messy ash-blue hair. Evyrett put a shaky hand on the animal’s neck, and gently stroked it, before backing away slightly, ready to flee at a negative reaction. When the mule didn’t move, he stepped forward and wrapped both arms around the mule’s neck, eyes closed. He relaxed and the scales on his body slowly faded again, until they were completely gone. The mule stood silent, steady, and patient.

          Kaunon had not realized the effect an animal can have on a hurting human.

          Zakkom did, which was why he had thought of the mule in the first place. His mother had always liked mules, as had Chada. In fact, this mule had been her’s, and she’d said when she passed it would be his. This meant that he was not stealing the mule; it was his by right, and if Thado wanted it he would have to buy it.

          Evyrett stepped back, and then began stroking the mule with wonder, moving along beside it, running his hand down its shoulder with amazement, “What’s her name?”

          “Sathie.” Zakkom said quietly.

          “True friend.” Evyrett translated.

          Zakkom nodded, “Yes. now, we need to get you out of here.”

          “No!” Evyrett said suddenly, “Not without Bern!”

          Kaunon’s eyes widened, “Why… Bern?”

          “He’s one of my kin, i-in a way.”

          Kaunon’s eyes widened, “That’s why!” he suddenly turned to run out of the stable, but was stopped by his uncle.

          Keithen frowned at him, and then looked at the others, “Planning to escape, are we?”

          “No, just us. You don’t have to come.” Alinna said casually, but edging closer to Evyrett, who had scaled over and glared at Keithen.

          hehe that’s the main ‘dragon man’ of my story right now XD

          I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

          #102888
          Keilah H.
          @keilah-h
            • Rank: Chosen One
            • Total Posts: 5151

            @elfwing Cool! I like your drawing of him. Here are some of my dragonmen:

            • Marek Diamond: This character is the legal guardian of the human character Torrent Starcatcher in my novel Into the Forbidden Cavern. He’s an ice dragon, they are actually pretty common in my stories.
            • Silverstar: This character, as far as I can tell, has no last name (yet). He’s from a fan-fiction; his father was a Star Wars character and his mother a Tron character, and he’s half ice dragon, half night dragon.
            • Flame: Your character Evyrett reminds me a bit of this character. Flame is a swamp dragon-forest dragon type, and he’s terrified of almost everything. (If an airplane goes past him while he’s flying, he’ll often faint and fall right out of the sky!)

            "When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers

            #102893
            Elfwing
            @elfwing
              • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
              • Total Posts: 486

              @keilah-h coolio!! I like the variety of your people!!

              haha poor Flame. alas; every character must have a weakness!

              yeah, Evyrett was stuck in an iron castle for the first 18 years his life with only his friend/servant/cook named Coldon, a loyal boy, but he is rather odd and Evyrett is his master, so it’s not a normal friendship. Especially since Evyrett has anger issues. Then out of the blue a girl ended up at the castle and he is baffled; what was this creature?! sassy, pretty and doesn’t take lip! XD

              He’s got spunk, but he’s very wary and for good reason; the serpent people are extremely powerful and so are considered a threat by other peoples, and therefore attempts to eliminate them have been very common and sadly very effective. He thinks he is the only one left… but that is not true! unfortunately, some of them are mean and cruel, so he’s having a hard time as future king with decisions in governing that the majority will be happy with.

              I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

              #102895
              Keilah H.
              @keilah-h
                • Rank: Chosen One
                • Total Posts: 5151

                @elfwing Very cool, very cool. I like how your serpentpeople turn back and forth between human and dragon. Mine can’t change; they’re always humans with dragon wings, tails, and scales. But there are ways to transform humans into dragonmen and vice versa–but those are by “magical” methods and are not normal.

                "When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers

                #102896
                Elfwing
                @elfwing
                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                  • Total Posts: 486

                  @keilah-h

                  Thanks! 🙂 yeah, mine are born with both abilities, but in certain events they can lose their ability to chose. For example, they can give up their gift (aka powers) to save someone, or, in extreme circumstances, can die to save someone. As you might assume, this happens very seldom.

                  Ahhh makes sense, especially if you do more sci fi style. I admit I enjoy having characters who can turn into dragons and especially griffons! The griffon-morphers are the center culture of my stories and I love them. Their culture is viking-ish with American pioneer spirit and the Celtic ferocity and love of music and also the majority has red hair XD

                  I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

                  #102897
                  Keilah H.
                  @keilah-h
                    • Rank: Chosen One
                    • Total Posts: 5151

                    Griffin-morphers? Cool! My first non-fanfic novel had a main character named Griffin because my community has a griffin as its emblem……I love combining humans and other creatures, as well as the dragonmen there have been cat, bird, dinosaur and wolf people (although I guess dragons and dinosaurs can be considered the same thing). I use the cats and dragons the most, and in some of my Christian story ideas Jesus is portrayed as a white-and-gold-pelted lion-man, with or without wings depending on the story (whether it’s dragons or something else in other words). I don’t remember writing a story with more than one man-animal kind, but I guess I could. Aside from the dragons and griffins, what other creatures do you have?

                    "When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers

                    #102898
                    Anonymous
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1379

                      @godlyfantasy12

                      Of course !!

                      #102902
                      Keilah H.
                      @keilah-h
                        • Rank: Chosen One
                        • Total Posts: 5151

                        Rinzler watched them dash away into the outlands. He said nothing, but Terabyte had a feeling he was snarling underneath his helmet.

                        Rinzler took one last look at the departing Light Runner—then turned his head toward Terabyte.

                        Uh oh, thought Terabyte as he began to run.

                        Terabyte pulled his Lightcycle baton from his belt, jumped, and activated it. Leaping out of the hole the Light Runner had left, he raced for his life, with Rinzler hot on his light-trail. Rinzler had traded out his racing Lightcycle for a tougher model a lot like Terabyte’s.

                        The outlands are not built for Lightcycles……or really, the other way around, Terabyte thought as he dodged a rock. Well, at least mine’s made for this terrain. His…not so much, although it works better than a typical one.

                        A whirring sound, like that of other Lightcycles, suddenly appeared on his right. Terabyte shook his head. “More of them?” he said to himself, chuckling. “How fun is that. Bring it on!”

                        Six Lightcycles (not counting Rinzler’s) were after Terabyte. He jumped over a rock, knowing the others who did the same would hit his light-wall. Only one hit, but the others went around the rock rather than risk their lives and Lightcycles.

                        They’re smarter than normal, Terabyte thought. Most of them would’ve taken the route I did and crashed.

                        Terabyte went up to two Lightcycles. “Hello,” he said. The program in the middle was startled and accidentally crashed into his teammate’s light-wall.

                        “Oops,” said Terabyte, snickering as he sped forward. “Sorry—not sorry.”

                        Suddenly he slowed down. There was a massive chasm in front of him. But he knew how to deal with it; a large, sloped rock could serve as a curvy ramp—he’d seen his mentor and adoptive father, Beck, do this trick before. All he had to do was find a suitable “ramp”.

                        He found his target on the left and sped up, with no light-walls to deal with. He jumped over the chasm, turning off his Lightcycle, spinning around, and turning it back on just in time to land.

                        Most of the confused programs tried to leap off without utilizing his little trick…and fell into the chasm. Pixels and a baton flew up. Terabyte was lucky enough to grab it. It was partially damaged, but he could always fix it later.

                        “I guess this is going to the garage,” he said, admiring it. Some of his friends’ parents worked at a repair garage, so he had a place to take the often-broken things he’d taken from his foes.

                        Rinzler and the last enemy program found the rock and used it to jump over, much like Terabyte had done—although they didn’t turn off their Lightcycles and turn them back on before landing.

                        “Will I ever get rid of this guy?” Terabyte asked himself. “Probably not.” He swerved around another rock and turned around, nearly crashing in the process. He was now heading straight for the program who was chasing him. Their Lightcycles almost touched, but Terabyte made a 90-degree turn at the last minute, and his foe crashed straight into his light-wall. More pixels flew everywhere. Now there was only one enemy to defeat—Rinzler. The two Lightcycles were now side-by-side.

                        Terabyte sped up a little and turned suddenly. Rinzler tried to jump but was too close to Terabyte’s light-wall; his Lightcycle was scratched by the light-wall, hit the ground the wrong way, and exploded. Rinzler was flung off face first, hitting the ground and breaking half of his helmet.

                        Terabyte paid no attention to the defeated program, but if he had, he would’ve been shocked.

                        Underneath Rinzler’s torn helmet, a face a little bit like Terabyte’s own stared out, squinting at the departing form of the Lightcycle. As he realized who had defeated him where no one else could, he whispered three words, no longer amplified and deepened by his helmet.

                        “It…can’t….be.”

                         

                        Dramatic scene from Rinzler: Son of Tron, my Tron Legacy fanfiction. The “Rinzler” mentioned in this scene isn’t the titular character, this character is actually Tron himself. (The actual movie explains why he has a different name.) Terabyte, whose given name is also Rinzler, is the character who gave his name to the trilogy, although I only have two of the stories so far. I’ve found that a character finding their family (usually their parents, and often their father first and then their mother in a sequel or something) is central to many of my stories.

                        "When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers

                        #102903
                        Keilah H.
                        @keilah-h
                          • Rank: Chosen One
                          • Total Posts: 5151

                          Characters who have a “found family” trope:

                          • Rinzler/Terabyte, Rinzler: Son of Tron
                          • Owen and Rex, Raptor Guardian: Exile and Return
                          • Silverstar, {unnamed dragon story}
                          • Crossfire, The Fang and the Fluteplayer (that one had a few huge plot twists and is meant to be very complicated)
                          • Slicer, Hunterclaw’s Trial (although Slicer isn’t the main character, and he ends up dying in the end)
                          • Beckflame, Clash of the Clans (although that’s not the main point of the story)

                          So…you see my go-to trope. I just realized all these characters are boys…….isn’t that weird?

                          "When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers

                          #102905
                          Elfwing
                          @elfwing
                            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                            • Total Posts: 486

                            @keilah-h

                            Thanks! i have the Serpent Children, then the Peluvaro, who morph into owls, and the Bardans, who morph into griffons. Peluvaro and Bardan blood mixed makes an odd combination; their descendants are Pelubalar, literally owl-griffon and have wings, slight scaling on the face, severe scaling on the hands, and claws on their hands. The Serpent Children cannot intermarry; their children usually do not survive because their blood is very different, and if they do they are in constant pain. the only exception to this, is when a Serpent Child blood-heals a Bardan (if the non-serpent human has a wound, the S C can cut their own palm, and use their blood to heal them, since thye have an incredibly quick healing factor), or a Bardan and Serpent Child have children; (the griffon is traditionally part eagle, lion and dragon) but in both ways, they have an odd form of morphing and are usually extremely mentally unstable and quick-tempered. I think it’d be better to explain it with this scene:

                            (come to think of it, it’s really dramatic, too XD)

                            Ataha sighed and backed away from Mythia, who stared wide-eyed at nothing with eyes streaming tears.

                            Stailon stood nearby watching, hand to his pursed lips and eyes thoughtful.

                            “Mythia, come on, dear, calm down.” Ataha said gently, touching the girl’s arm. Mythia screamed again, louder this time and Stailon grimaced, “‘Taha, she’s going to bring every predator within ten miles if we don’t get her to stop.”

                            Ataha brushed her hair away from her sweaty face and glared at her husband, “Feel free to help me!” she retorted, “I’ve been trying to calm her down since Aurd brought her to us and I still don’t know what’s wrong with her!”

                            Stailon groaned, “I don’t know more than you! She’s acting like she’s in great pain, but it’s so hard to say what is wrong.”

                            Ataha sighed, “Let’s just bring her with us to Elra.”

                            “How, pray, are we going to do that?!” Stailon growled.

                            “We need to start by letting her know it’s us.”

                            That question, both pondered, trying to think of an answer as the morning faded to midday.

                            “What is on her hands?” Stailon asked suddenly, moving closer. He knelt down in front of Mythia, but did not touch her. He glared hard at her hand, “That’s… grey scales!”

                            “And?”

                            “No morpher has scales like this! These are not griffin scales, they are dragon. Look at the pattern; griffin scales are like a bird’s; they overlap. Dragons —particularly Serpent people— is all one piece and the scales don’t overlap.”

                            Ataha frowned, “But… she has no Serpent in her family!”

                            “No, I know. That’s why I’m thinking she’s had her blood contaminated by one.”

                            Ataha’s eyes widened, “What?!”

                            “Don’t ask me how, but from the pain she’s experiencing and the apparent blindness would only be explained by her having been injured somehow and and one tried to heal her —a great act of selflessness on their part— but since she is not full blooded Bardan, the pain in her bones will be awful because her instincts and blood are meddled with, and she will be constantly trying morph, and when Serpent People morph, they grow in size.”

                            Ataha looked at him blankly, and then at Mythia, “What… are we going to do with her, then? Is there any way to help her?”

                            “No,” Stailon said slowly, “after about two months of the pain her body should get used to it. I saw it happen once before, but I never wanted to see it again; they looked like they wanted to rip out of their skin.”

                            “She’s close.” Ataha muttered darkly.

                            “Well, we need to make her move, or she’ll sit here and starve.” Stailon said annoyedly.

                            Ataha sighed, “I’ll try again, maybe heat would—”

                            “No!” Stailon said sharply, “that will make it worse. Heat gives a Serpent Child more energy, and that makes them more irritable, which in turn makes them more likely to morph.”

                            Ataha hesitated, “Then… talk to her?”

                            “Of course.”

                            Ataha shrugged, then approached Mythia quietly. “Mythia,”

                            Mythia’s eyes shot open, still dark, but she stayed silent.

                            “Mythia, we’re taking you to Elra, we need you to stay calm.”

                            The girl whimpered and began almost writhing, clenching her hands tightly and laxing them repeatedly, “It… it hurts…”

                            “I know, Mythia.” Stailon said softly, “I know it hurts you, but you need to stand so we can help you, alright? Just stand, that’s all we need.”

                            Mythia hesitated, then touched the ground with her hands, grinding her teeth as she did so, but she eventually stood up, shaking. Ataha realized that the girl had grown taller; she was at least five eight now, whereas before she had been five foot five before. “Stailon? Is she supposed to be growing taller?”

                            Stailon nodded, “That’s why her bones hurt; it’s like a giant growth spurt— literally.”

                            Mythia stood shaking for a moment then dug her fingernails into her scaled palms, biting her lip. Stailon gently touched her scaly hand, which didn’t seem to hurt so much as touching her normal skin, “Mythia, do you want me to carry you?”

                            She hesitated, looking around with wide eyes, then she slowly nodded.

                            “Alright. I’ll pick you up, but I need you to not choke me. I won’t drop you.” He carefully put one arm under her knees and the other around her shoulders, and carefully lifted her. She went stiff and her eyes blazed hazel as she muffled a cry of pain.

                            “Good. There, Mythia. You’re doing so well,” he encouraged. He then carefully shifted her to a position he could carry her in for a long distance, then slowly started walking down the path again. “There we are. Now we can go.”

                            Ataha was relieved. She had never been so gentle as Stailon with hurting people. Yes, she could heal them with medicines, but as far as keeping them calm went, she struggled greatly with it. She picked up her pack and the Star Sword, then walked on beside Stailon, looking at Mythia’s blank face. Stailon winced but said nothing as Mythia’s fingernails dug into his shoulders.

                            Ataha was glad he had high pain tolerance.

                            I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

                            #102906
                            Elfwing
                            @elfwing
                              • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                              • Total Posts: 486

                              @keilah-h

                              and one morphing: (they’re called Death Hawks for here explained reasons)

                              Atheico looked shocked, “How did you find him? And how are you not dead? His father swore he’d kill anyone who came to his castle after I—”

                              “I didn’t find—” Mythia twitched and tried to stay still, “ I didn’t find him. He’s my friend and Lysanna sent me to him. We— left and went west—” she sat up stiffly and puffed out a breath, “got caught and separated. And—” she stifled another outburst of anger and pain, “Can we do story-telling later? I want to claw your face off right now!”

                              Atheico sighed, “Yes, no doubt you do, but that’s not going to happen in the middle of the cave. Follow me.” he said to Zakkom. He easily lifted Mythia to her feet, and helped her limp out of the cave. She gritted her teeth and Zakkom followed, nervous and upset by how little gentleness Atheico was showing.

                              Suddenly Atheico let go of Mythia’s arm and then shoved her forward. She fell down with silent shock, then stumbled up, turning with glowing eyes. Zakkom walked toward her to help her, but Atheico grabbed his arm and yanked him back, and in a commanding voice said, “No.”

                              Zakkom pulled his arm away, “You just shoved her in the sand!”

                              “Wait.”

                              Zakkom growled in annoyance, but Atheico seemed adamant, so he obeyed.

                              Mythia looked around wildly, but she couldn’t see them, and so she stumbled toward the shoreline. Zakkom’s heart beat faster as Mythia crashed into a boulder, and she cried out in anger, hand on the cut bleeding on her forehead.

                              Atheico stood, arms crossed, and seemingly unperturbed .

                              “You’re just going to let her injure herself?!”

                              “She can heal, Zakkom. I am trying to help her.”

                              “By making her mad?!”

                              Atheico nodded as Mythia crashed into another rock. “Yes. if she gets angry enough she can’t control herself, which means she’ll—” he was cut off by a painful, high pitched cry, and Mythia transformed into a dark griffin, but at least twice the size of a normal one and her wings were odd; the individual feathers looked more like spines with skin stretched down them, and they were scaled, though so thin that the sunlight still shone through.

                              Atheico didn’t seem alarmed by Mythia’s appearance, but Zakkom and all those watching were terrified. The griffin stumbled forward and snarled, eyes blazing, and then charged at Atheico, who didn’t move. He must have expected her to veer off and not attack, but she did, and she slammed him to the ground, and slashed his chest, before going for his neck. Zakkom shouted “No!”

                              The griffin halted, and stared down at Atheico, who did not move. The creature panted, obviously exhausted, then after a few painful moments, the light went out in her eyes and she backed away, stumbling toward the sea before collapsing.

                              Atheico slowly rose, and looked down at the four slashes, which were dripping blood, then he looked at Mythia, who was now lying on the sand, her black clothing was torn, and she was shaking, but no longer convulsing.

                              Zakkom hesitated, then he ran to Mythia, and picked her up under her arms, pulling her to a sitting position, “Get off!” she snapped, then she looked up at him, startled, and Zakkom almost shouted for joy; her eyes, though hazel, were not black, and she seemed to see him. “Zak…” she said slowly, “I can see you now.”

                              Zakkom almost grinned as he helped her to her feet, “I’m glad, because you’ve been  blind for a while.”

                              Mythia rolled her eyes, “Yeah, no kidding. How long, two weeks?”

                              “Um… more like a month and a half.”

                              Mythia’s eyes widened slightly, “That makes more sense. Um… why are you holding my hand?”

                              Zakkom looked down and realized he was. He quickly let go, face red, “Sorry.”

                              “No, stop saying ‘sorry’ for everything!” Mythia groaned.

                              “Sorry, I—” Zakkom groaned and smacked his forehead with his hand. “I-I don’t know why.”

                              Mythia smiled slightly, “Thanks, Zak.”

                              He looked up, startled, “What for? Bruising your wrist?”

                              “No.” Mythia shook her head. “Thanks for not running.”

                              So the reason he shoved her forward, is because until she morphs, she’ll be in constant pain (as explained by the previous scene)

                              I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

                              #102939
                              Linyang Zhang
                              @devastate-lasting
                                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                • Total Posts: 1700

                                @joy-caroline Thank you! Glad you like it.

                                Lately, it's been on my brain
                                Would you mind letting me know
                                If hours don't turn into days

                                #102951
                                Elfwing
                                @elfwing
                                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                                  • Total Posts: 486

                                  @keilah-h

                                  i read the scene you posted and it’s very cool! I like it!

                                  I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

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