DRAFTING FORUM!!!

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  • #120012
    Anonymous
      • Rank: Chosen One
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      @joy-caroline. @elishavet-pidyon. @koshka. @godlyfantasy12. Part 3! So…this took a bit different turn than I was first planning…but I really like it! xD But, again,

      CONTENT WARNING: THIS SCENE CONTAINS SEMI-GRAPHIC VIOLENCE IN THE FORM OF A PUBLIC WHIPPING. IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE READING THAT, PLEASE, DO NOT READ!!!!!!

      So…now that that’s out of the way…may we begin? 😉

      Hitchens nodded and smiled. “Good. Browning, get over here.”

      John stepped forward, a small, reassuring smile on his face.

      “Tie Private Meijer to the post, will you? And move fast.”

      “Yessir.” John motioned for Nathan to follow him.

      He quickly got Nathan tethered to the post. He let out a quiet sigh. “Good luck, Nathan. He’s got a hard arm when he’s angry.”

      Nathan nodded. Smiled faintly. “Thank you, John.”

      John grinned and stepped away. “Anytime, Nathan.”

      Hitchens’ boots clicked against the hard clay dirt. “I normally handle the discipline completely on my own…but there have been exceptions, and today there will be.” He uncoiled the whip. “I said I was going to punish both of you, did I not? But Private Thomas has had this done multiple times and I suspect he no longer is afraid of it. So then, I shall not carry out the punishment…he will.” Hitchens proclaimed, shoving the whip into Dawson’s hand.

      “…Sir? What…?”

      Nathan took in a deep breath.

      Dawson couldn’t fight this.

      Not if he knew what was good for him.

      “What are you waiting for, Thomas? Hurry up and get it over with. I’ll tell you when to stop.”

      “Sir, I can’t. I won’t.”

      Hitchens’ eyebrows raised and his eyes narrowed. “Why not…Dawson?” He snarled; his tone low. He rarely ever used first names only…unless he was about to burst with anger.

      “I can’t, sir…I just…I can’t…”

      The wind pulled at Nathan’s hair and coat as Hitchens shoved the whip into his hands.

      “No! I can’t!” He cried, trying to shove it back.

      He was a simple drummer boy! He was twelve! He wasn’t go to whip anyone…especially Dawson.

      “Do it, Meijer, or you’ll regret it.” Hitchens replied, his tone carrying a warning.

      “But I…I…I can’t do-“

      “Do it, Nathan!” Dawson roared. Closed his eyes. “Do it…I’ll be fine. I promise.”

      Nathan looked at his back, already covered with scars, and tears coursed down his cheek. “Dawson…no…”

      “Do it, kid…Nathan…I’ll be okay…I promise.”

      Nathan jolted out of the memory.

      Eleven years ago…it was almost hard to believe.

      “Do it, Dawson.” He whispered.

      Dawson blinked. “Nathan, I…”

      “It’s okay…it’s going to be okay. I’ll be okay…don’t worry about me. Just…just do it…come on…it’s okay…I promise you; I’ll be okay.”

      Silence ensued, before Dawson finally broke it. “Nathan…”

      “It’s going to be okay.” Nathan whispered. Promised.

      Dawson stepped back, and out of the corner of his eye…Nathan saw him close his eyes as tears coursed down his cheeks.

      Nathan refocused his gaze forward, preparing for the inevitable.

      A crack sounded in the air, and the first lash landed on his bare skin. Nathan gasped, but then bit his lip.

      Dawson was already going through enough.

      He wasn’t planning on adding to his pain.

      But lash after lash fell, landing on flesh, then muscle. Maybe even bone at some point.

      Each one that fell added more pain.

      More tearing and shredding.

      More fire.

      Eventually, he couldn’t help but scream in agony.

      Another one fell, and Nathan sank down the length of the pole, his arms now up above him. Fiery pain ensued.

      Rich, crimson blood trailed from his back down to his breeches.

      His breath heaved.

      The world around him was getting blurry.

      Another lash brought it back into focus, along with bringing a scream.

      But suddenly…quietly…he heard a voice.

      “I took all of this and so much more for you…don’t you believe that? I died for you, Nathan.”

      Another lash.

      Another round of pain.

      Another scream.

      “I took all of the pain…endured all the humiliation and scorn…for you…”

      This…this was what he had endured…and even more pain than this?

      He had taken all of that…for…him?

      “I took all of it for the world…for you. Just like David took that bullet for you…”

      Another lash fell, tearing at his skin.

      Nathan screamed.

      “…I took the cross for you. So you didn’t have to endure that pain…that humiliation…that suffering just to be redeemed. Because I have redeemed you.”

      How?

      How could he love him that much?

      “And I did it all…because…I. Love. You. No matter how many mistakes you make…no matter how much you mess up…how much you think you don’t deserve it…I died for you…I took the cross for you…and…”

      Tears began to course down Nathan’s cheeks.

      He wanted to believe it.

      He did.

      He did.

      He truly did.

      “…though I don’t have to…if I had to…I’d do it all over again. Do you believe me?”

      Nathan smiled through the pain…through the sobs…the screams. “I do. Please, believe me. I do! I believe you!”

      “Then come Nathan…my beloved. I am here…so just…come…come to me.”

      Another lash fell, Nathan’s world faded to black, and the last thing he heard was Dawson screaming his name.

      #120013
      Anonymous
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 8156

        @godlyfantasy12. Just posted it!!!!!! 😉

        #120015
        GodlyFantasy12
        @godlyfantasy12
          • Rank: Chosen One
          • Total Posts: 6645

          @freedomwriter76

           

          NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

           

          DAWSOOOOOON!!!! NATHAAAAANNNNN!!!!

           

          BUT GOD SPEAKING TO HIM UGH MY HEAAAAARRRRTTTT!!!

           

           

          HE IS GONNA BE OKAY RIGHT?!?! AND DAWSON IS GONNA BE OKAG RIGHT??!?!

          #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
          #ProtectMarcel
          #ProtectSeb

          #120018
          Anonymous
            • Rank: Chosen One
            • Total Posts: 8156

            @godlyfantasy12. IKR!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

            Yep, that’s the direction it started to turn, God talking to him, and I was like: “LET’S GO WITH IT!!!”

            That’s a spoiler. You’ll have to wait for Part 4. 😉

            #120019
            GodlyFantasy12
            @godlyfantasy12
              • Rank: Chosen One
              • Total Posts: 6645

              @freedomwriter76 okie….

              😢

               

              also I made an RP!!

              #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
              #ProtectMarcel
              #ProtectSeb

              #120020
              Koshka
              @koshka
                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                • Total Posts: 1603

                @freedomwriter76

                That scene. Was. So. Good. Some part’s of it could have been far too graphic, but not with that beautiful twist. Ugh. That’s the type of books we need more of.

                You can completely ignore this paragraph, but I’m adding it in because I wish someone pointed it out to me when I first started writing. So, just to save you a bunch of work later, the work Okay actually comes from the Log Cabin campaign in 1840. It originally meant ‘Old Kinderhook’, but was changed to ‘Ol Korekt’ as a political jab. It was eventually accepted as a real word, but prior to 1840s it wasn’t in existence. Alright I believe is fine. Again, I love this scene and can’t wait for the next part!)

                • This reply was modified 2 years ago by Koshka.

                First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
                Fork the Gork

                #120026
                Elishavet Elroi
                @elishavet-pidyon
                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                  • Total Posts: 1076

                  @freedomwriter76

                  Aaaaaaaaahhhhh!

                  Nathan!!!

                  (Also, pretty great punishment, on the cruel side. It’s horrible.)

                  You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan

                  #120042
                  Anonymous
                    • Rank: Chosen One
                    • Total Posts: 8156

                    @godlyfantasy12. I saw! 😀 Lemme finish my Spanish real fast, then I’ll try to get to the RP! Kinda worried about Edric and Aramis, tbh. xD But I also want conflict…so…XD


                    @koshka
                    . @elishavet-pidyon. AHHHH, THANK Y’ALL SOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️


                    @elishavet-pidyon
                    . I know!!! I panicked about him too! xD (On the inside at least…don’t want to freak out my siblings, lol. XDXDXD And yes, very horrible *shudders*)


                    @koshka
                    . THANK YOU! 😀 I’m sooooo glad you loved the twist! It just kinda came while I was writing, and I decided to go with it. 😉

                    (THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT!!! *wipes sweat away* That will most certainly help me in the long run. xD)

                    #120070
                    Anonymous
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1379

                      @freedomwriter76

                      Dangggg 😮😭

                      Nathan and Dawson seem to have a really interesting history. You have me intrigued.

                      ALSO DID HE DIE AT THE END 😭

                      #120071
                      Anonymous
                        • Rank: Chosen One
                        • Total Posts: 8156

                        @joy-caroline. I know…it’s a very “dang” few scenes. xD

                        So glad I have you intrigued…😜

                        Nope…he’s alive…but I can’t tell you what happens next either…🤫😉 (but I am currently working on writing it, so don’t worry! 😆)

                        #120072
                        Anonymous
                          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                          • Total Posts: 1379

                          @freedomwriter76

                          *sighs in relief* OOOOH I CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT FEW SCENES!!!!

                          #120073
                          Anonymous
                            • Rank: Chosen One
                            • Total Posts: 8156

                            @joy-caroline. AWW, THANK YOU!!!! I’d say I’m almost done with Part 4, then there might also be Part 5, so…xD

                            #120077
                            Anonymous
                              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                              • Total Posts: 1379

                              @freedomwriter76

                              The more the better amiright?

                              #120078
                              Anonymous
                                • Rank: Chosen One
                                • Total Posts: 8156

                                @joy-caroline. Yep! xD

                                #120090
                                Anonymous
                                  • Rank: Chosen One
                                  • Total Posts: 8156

                                  @godlyfantasy12. @koshka. @elishavet-pidyon. @joy-caroline. Part 4!!!!

                                  Faces floated before him.

                                  Those of his mother, stroking his hair, whispering his name.

                                  His father, telling him it was going to be alright.

                                  His sister, urging him to wake up. Telling him she couldn’t even imagine losing him.

                                  His brothers, telling him he needed to get up, and that they were sorry. That they didn’t mean to hurt him.

                                  They came and went.

                                  Spoke and were silent.

                                  He flittered in and out of delirium.

                                  Was it a dream?

                                  Was it real?

                                  He didn’t know.

                                  A quiet groan escaped his lips.

                                  Nathan’s eyes slowly fluttered open.

                                  Cotton…soft and warm.

                                  He slowly tried to look around. He was in a wooden room. On a pallet. That much he could figure out.

                                  But…where exactly…was he?

                                  And what had…Nathan groaned as more pain came from his back when he tried to sit up.

                                  He flopped back down onto the pallet with a sigh.

                                  Never mind.

                                  He remembered everything.

                                  “Come to me…come to me…” Nathan smiled faintly.

                                  Now that voice, he most certainly remembered.

                                  He’d heard it, even, in his dreams.

                                  The dreams that weren’t filled with people, but light.

                                  A door creaked, and footsteps sounded against the wooden floor.

                                  “…Nathan? You’re awake. Oh, thank the Lord.” Morrison got down onto one knee. Brushed a strand of Nathan’s hair out of his eyes. He smiled. “How are you feeling?”

                                  “…It still hurts.” Nathan admitted quietly. “How long have I been…asleep?”

                                  “A day now.” Morrison replied quietly. “But you’re awake now, and that’s all that matters.”

                                  Nathan nodded, then noticed that Morrison was biting his lip. “…What? What is it?”

                                  “You were mumbling a lot of random things in your sleep. Names… sometimes…your family, I’m assuming…”

                                  Nathan nodded.

                                  “And…talking about…love…sacrifice…and…come to me.”

                                  “He reached me, Morrison. He finally did. He spoke to me…and now…I believe it. All of it.”

                                  “Honestly?”

                                  Nathan nodded. “Yes.”

                                  Morrison covered his mouth with his hands. “Thank you, Jesus…” He whispered, tears coursing down his cheeks, and Nathan smiled.

                                  He’d been praying this entire time. And his prayer had been answered.

                                  Nathan smiled. Thank you, he thought, for everything, Lord.

                                  The door opened again. “Doctor? Is everything alright in…” Sophia trailed off, and her hand flew up to her mouth.

                                  Morrison smiled, wiped away tears, and turned to face her. “Everything is perfect. He’s awake now. But Nathan…?”

                                  Nathan carefully shifted, even though it hurt, to lay on his side rather than his stomach like he had been. “She can come in. I…want her to.”

                                  Sophia ran over, getting down onto the floor.

                                  She cupped his face in her hands, tears coursing down her cheeks. “Darling, oh darling…” She wept, giving him a kiss. “Are you alright? Do you need anything else?”

                                  Nathan smiled and kissed her again. “I’m fine.” He squeezed her hand. “I have everything I want and need right here.” He kissed her hand.

                                  Sophia smiled and Nathan shifted just a little to make room for her to sit beside him. She squeezed his hand.

                                  “Morrison…how…how did I get here?”

                                  Morrison turned to face him again. “Dawson carried you here. He begged me to help you. Not that he needed to. I would have done so anyways.”

                                  “Where is he?” Nathan asked.

                                  He needed to talk to him, and he needed to do so before it was too late.

                                  “He’s here. I wasn’t going to tell him to go back after what happened.”

                                  “Can I talk to him? Please.”

                                  Morrison smiled. “Of course. Would you like me to leave?”

                                  Slowly, Nathan nodded. “If you don’t mind.”

                                  Morrison nodded. “Not at all.”

                                  Sophia stood as well. “I will leave for a moment as well.” She gave him another kiss. She took her leave of the room, Morrison did the same, and within a moment, Dawson stepped into the room, his boots clicking against the floor.

                                  He sat on the floor in front of Nathan, legs crossed.

                                  “Hello Dawson.”

                                  “…Hello…”

                                  Nathan raised an eyebrow. “Dawson…I’m surprised you’re not overjoyed to see me awake.”

                                  “I am…I really am…just…” Dawson bit his lip and trailed off.

                                  “Dawson.”

                                  He finally looked up, and their eyes met.

                                  Dark rings were under Dawson’s eyes, his eyes were red, and tears were still coursing down his cheeks.

                                  “It’s. Not. Your. Fault.” Nathan said, putting emphasis on each word. Because Dawson needed to hear it.

                                  Just like Nathan did all those months ago.

                                  He’d needed to know it wasn’t his fault that David had died…and what David did…it was simply…sacrifice.

                                  The biggest example of love in the world.

                                  “It is…I could have done something, but I was a coward.”

                                  “There was nothing you could have done.”

                                  Dawson shook his head. “There was. I could have done…something.”

                                  “Dawson…no, that’s not true…” Nathan replied, brushing a strand of his hair out of his eyes.

                                  “Yes…it is. I did…that to you.” Dawson said quietly, motioning to Nathan’s back.

                                  “And?” Nathan raised an eyebrow. “I did the same eleven years ago to you. Does that mean that was my fault too?”

                                  Dawson shook his head. “No. It’s not.”

                                  “Then why is this your fault?”

                                  Dawson’s gaze fell again.

                                  “You did so much for me…the least I could do was take the punishment…for you.”

                                  “You shouldn’t have. And what have I done for you?”

                                  Nathan raised an eyebrow. “Do you really think that I believe you forgot all of it? Let’s see…” Nathan began counting on his fingers, “Giving me your food, taking the blame when I stole and lied and fought, taking every single whipping I’ve ever deserved, comforting me when I needed it, taking care of me when I was sick, and just…being there, Dawson.”

                                  Dawson shook his head. “I…I hurt you…”

                                  “And it wasn’t your choice. You didn’t choose to hurt me…you had to.”

                                  Dawson shook his head. “It doesn’t make a difference.”

                                  Nathan leaned back a little. Pain was still flowering from his back, but he didn’t have time to pay attention to that now.

                                  “You gave me strength when I wanted to give up, Dawson.”

                                  Dawson slightly looked up, but when Nathan looked at him, he averted his gaze.

                                  “And you know what, Dawson? You convinced me of something.”

                                  “…What?” Dawson asked quietly.

                                  “You convinced me to keep fighting. I was ready to give up…on life. But you convinced me that it was still worth it. I would have given up a long time ago if it weren’t for you. I’m…alive today because…of you, Dawson.”

                                  Finally…Dawson’s gaze rose.

                                  Their eyes met again.

                                  “Nathan…”

                                  “I care about you, Dawson.”

                                  “I don’t deserve that.”

                                  Nathan shrugged. “None of us do. But do you know what I’ve figured out? I’ve figured out that we don’t have to deserve it. God gives love even though we don’t deserve it. Who cares if you don’t deserve my care? I still care about you anyways.”

                                  “I don’t…I don’t deserve that…Nathan, just…stop…I don’t deserve any of that…”

                                  “I don’t either. But that’s what’s so amazing about his love and grace…none of us deserve it. But…even then…he gives it anyways.”

                                  Dawson wiped away tears.

                                  “A good friend died for me. I blamed myself for his death. If we hadn’t become friends…he wouldn’t have been there. I questioned why he would die for me. We were on opposite sides of the war…and yet…he died for me. He took the bullet that was meant for me. But Dawson…now…I know. He gave his life so I could have mine. He took the bullet that was meant for me because…he loved me enough, as his friend, to die for me.” Nathan rested his hand on Dawson’s shoulder, “And Jesus did the same thing…for all of us. Including you.”

                                  “How…why…?” Dawson whispered, tears unashamedly running down his cheeks.

                                  Nathan smiled. “Because he loves you. Loved you enough to die for you. Just like how you took all of those whippings for me…he loved you enough to suffer and die for you…for me…for everyone.”

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