DRAFTING FORUM!!!

[GodlyFantasy12]

Very beautiful!

#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb

[Anonymous]

@elishavet-pidyon. Of course! It’s beautiful! 💖

Ahh, gotcha! I kinda assumed…XD But thanks for clearing that up! 😀

[Anonymous]

Okay so I just wrote a conversation scene between Russell and Eliza that completely broke me and it ended on such a sad and profound note, I can’t help but share. I seriously think Russell’s quote at the end is mayyybe my favorite quote in the entire book so far… which is really bold because this book has so many amazing quotes! (If I do say so myself lol.) Anyways here it is:

“Why doesn’t everyone have a papa who loves them like you love me?” I ask. “Why are some kids not loved?”

Russell sighs deeply, a weary and troubled sound. I look up at him and realize how ashen and fatigued he looks. He exhausted himself tonight, and I can’t believe that for a few precious moments I forgot that the day after tomorrow, he’ll be going in for another treatment session and his suffering will start all over again. The thought sends a lump of grief tumbling from my throat into my stomach, preventing me from listening to his soft answer.

“Because there is sin in this world, honey . . . and the devil knows that the best way to introduce sin is to take away love from children. When there is no love in the beginning, it’s very hard for there to be love in the middle or the end.”

[Elishavet Elroi]

@joy-caroline

Oh, that is beautiful (although rather ugly too?). And very true.

It’s exactly what you said it was: sad and profound. For someone working in children’s ministry, it’s also very thought provoking. Thank you for sharing!

You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan

[Anonymous]

@joy-caroline. BEAUTIFUL!!!! 💖😭 And so…so true. 😭

Thank you so much for sharing!!! 💖💖💖

[MineralizedWritings]

@godlyfantasy12

Wooaaah your writing is so good!!! XD

I felt like I could have been there lol!

I was just murking around in the recesses of KP and came accross this, it sounds amazing!

But is November okay… you’ve got me seriously worried now 😳

 

"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

[GodlyFantasy12]

@mineralizedwritings thank you! November does end up being okay 😊 (we’ll be gets some scarring and such but yea 😂)

 

also I gotta try and write over 1,000 words sometime today cuz I have a goal to reach 20K in my WIP this week. (I’m at over 14K right now.) so….hopefully I’ll be able to share some scenes today lol

#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb

[MineralizedWritings]

@godlyfantasy12

Oh no poor November 😭😭 glad he’s alright though!

I’d love to read more of your writing! No pressure at all though, only write if you feel like it!

Congrats on 14K! 🥳 that’s a lot of writing!

"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

[whaley]

@elishavet-pidyon I love your style so much 😍😃 Could you tell me your story’s premise? (… And maybe some more snippets?) I’m genuinely intrigued.

“Everything is a mountain”

[Elishavet Elroi]

@whalekeeper

Oh, thank you so much! I’m SO thrilled you like it.

So, as a premise… I’m not great at writing premises. But I’ll try!

So, the story is a five books (currently) series beginning with two boys in different kinds of bondage. One, Alwin, is in the kind you see easily. But even if it’s easily identified, that doesn’t make it simple to break free of. Before he was ten years old he was bound in ways too dark for his mind to understand. Still, his heart yearns for freedom so much that, when he catches a glimpse of it in a kind knight, he won’t stop till he has it. No matter what.

The second, William, is bound by lies. They’re not simple, they’re not easy, and in fact, they look a lot like the truth. But as he looks into it more, he realizes that the Truth is not this. But to find the truth, he may have to face leaving everything behind.

Both are bound, but both are touched by the loving hand of someone who is more than ready to lead them out.

Then, there’s Winifrith. Daughter of a Knight of the King, she loves and serves the King with her whole heart. But all around her everything she’s believed is being tried. She’s being cast into a whirlwind of questions, and she can’t get any answers. She loves the King, but…

Does she really know him? And why does it seem like it would be so much easier to just give up?

These three make up the basic cast until book four, where we meet Aethelthryth, who I am still working on, but her story basically holds the question: “the generations before us have passed the mantle. Will the work, the faith, continue? And are we willing to face our deepest fears to help the person beside us? What if serving the King takes… everything?”

So, it’s basically a fantasy retelling of many testimonies I’ve heard and seen.

And I do have one other snippet featuring Alwin and Winifrith from book four, if you want to read it. (Not that I’ve written the books before it. Oh no, we’re working ahead. Procrastinating? What’s that? 😉 )

You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan

[Anonymous]

@godlyfantasy12. @koshka. @joy-caroline. @elishavet-pidyon. Another scene! Part 1! Yep…I’m leaving y’all hanging at the end of this one. xD Anyways, it’s unedited, so please excuse it’s…beginner-ness. If that’s a word…XD

The B-17 was hurtling towards the ground at 170mph.

Ezra made sure his parachute harness was strapped and attached. “Yoshua! Get your parachute on!”

Yoshua took off his headset for a second. “They have to know where we are so they can find us. You go on ahead.”

“No. The pilot gets out last, after all of his crew does. You need to get out.”

Slowly, Yoshua shook his head. “No. I’m not going to let you stay with me, because I’m not going anywhere.”

Ezra shook his head.

The pilot always got out first.

That’s how it went.

And he wasn’t going to let Yoshua stay.

“Yoshua…get out.”

Yoshua’s brows furrowed together. “You’re not my superior officer.”

“I’m your pilot. Now, get out.” Ezra ordered, pointing.

Yoshua stood. “No…I won’t…I can’t. You’re my friend and I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Ezra grabbed Yoshua’s arm. “No…you go. I’ll be right behind you.”

Yoshua shook his head and pulled his arm away. “No…they have to know where we are.”

“Who cares!?” Ezra roared. “You need to get out!”

The plane was getting too close to the ground.

Yoshua glanced around, before sliding the nose door open. Wind instantly began pulling at their uniforms and hair.

Ezra grabbed the pilot’s seat. “Now, get out!”

“Sorry Ezra…but…no…” Yoshua got behind him. Smiled. “We were good friends, Ezra…and we always did everything together. Thank you…for being my friend…through everything. But I can’t let you follow me this time.”

“Yoshua, what-!?”

Yoshua shoved him, and suddenly Ezra went tumbling forward…out of the plane.

“YOSHUA!” He screamed his friend’s name.

Frantically tried to reach for the plane, but he was too far…falling too fast.

He pulled his parachute cords, and the parachute instantly opened.

“Yoshua! Jump out!”

Ezra collided into something hard.

He groaned.

The plane continued to dive before him.

And his world faded into darkness.

So yep…that was only Part 1. 😉 XD

I should get the rest of it out soon…but then again…who knows. I can be pretty random. xD If an idea comes to me, I just have to write it. XDXDXD

Oh, and to show them, I made a moodboard for Ezra and Yoshua, best friends since childhood. 🙂 Ezra is in the top left, Yoshua in bottom right. 🙂

[Anonymous]

The pilot always got out last, I meant. This is what happens when you type, like, 25 words a second. xD

[Anonymous]

@godlyfantasy12. @joy-caroline. @elishavet-pidyon. @koshka. And…another scene. xD But…not Part 2. XDXDXD This one will likely be in 2 or even more parts as well…and just as an early warning, Part 2 will have quite a bit of violence in it, but not too graphic. Just thought I’d put that up there tho! Keep in mind this is for my American Revolution main WIP! 🙂

“Mama, look at all the pretty flowers!” Ina cried, pointing.

Lidia smiled and followed her daughters to inspect the lilies. “They are beautiful Ina…” Lidia plucked one and put it in Ina’s bright red hair. “Just like you…and…” she picked another lily and put it in Ruth’s light brown hair. “And your sister Ruth.”

Ina giggled and Ruth smiled.

Nathan smiled as he watched them. “You must be thankful…”

Morrison nodded. Smiled. “Every single day I become even more grateful for them. God gave, he took away, and he gave back. Doubly.”

Nathan pursed his lips.

If God could give…then why did it seem like…he only took?

Sophia squeezed his hand, and he leaned over and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

David was dead…but Sophia…Morrison…seemed so…peaceful.

Did their head not throb?

Did their hearts not break?

Did their stomachs not churn every time they were reminded that he was forever gone?

Oh, what use were such idle thoughts anyhow?

Nathan squeezed Sophia’s hand. She looked up at him and smiled, but it quickly faded, and her brows furrowed with concern. “Nathan…are you alright?”

“Yes. I’m fine, honest, Sophia.” He whispered.

Sophia nodded, but kept her lips trained in a thin line.

Nathan inwardly sighed.

He hated to lie…but also…he didn’t want to talk about it.

Not here and not now.

Nathan looked ahead, and began to slow.

Men in red coats were standing around…right outside of Morrison’s house.

“Why are they at your house?” Sophia whispered, glancing at Morrison.

Nathan glanced at him too.

Morrison slowly nodded. “They suspect me of treason against the crown…that’s why.” He replied. He kept moving, not even slowing his stride.

Nathan continued to walk.

Sophia held his hand tighter.

They neared the house, and Nathan’s breath caught.

Colonel Hitchens turned, and a slow, cruel, smile spread across his face. He slicked back his curly black hair with his hand. “Dr. Andrew Morrison…a doctor and a traitor…what an odd combination of professions…wouldn’t you think?”

“How may I help you, Colonel?” Morrison asked, his Southern drawl quiet…low. Ina clutched to his breeches.

“I believe you know exactly why I’m here, doctor. You have been known to aid the American traitor’s multiple times. And treason doesn’t come without a cost, doctor.”

“I have only done God’s will. Do you think the King’s will and way is higher than God’s, Colonel?”

Hitchens chuckled.

Stepped closer to Morrison, one hand on his sword hilt. “The King was put in place by God, doctor. Isn’t that in the Scriptures?”

Morrison slowly nodded. “Yes, it does, in the book of Romans.”

Hitchens smiled with the satisfaction of winning an argument.

Nathan took in a deep breath.

He didn’t like where this was heading.

“But it also says that he is a servant of God, only carrying out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. I have done nothing wrong nor evil, Colonel, and no matter what man God puts in place of authority, God’s will is still much higher than his. For God’s thoughts are not our thoughts. His thoughts are much higher than ours could ever be.”

Hitchens’ eyebrows raised.

Nathan bit his lip and held Sophia closer. She wrapped her arms around him, leaning against him. Nathan ran one of his hands through her hair.

“The King has issued decrees and has signed laws to keep riffraff like you Americans in line. And I know what is and isn’t wrong, doctor. In all ways.” Hitchens snarled.

“So now you’re trying to play God?”

The sound of a slap resonated off the nearby brick and wood buildings.

“That’s enough out of you, doctor,” Hitchens spat the title, “you’re coming with us. Immediately. In the name of God and King George III, you are hereby under arrest, Dr. Andrew Jack Morrison.”

“On what exact grounds?”

Hitchens chuckled and turned to face the black-haired woman. “I already explained, dear woman. And who, may I ask, are you?”

Sarah raised her chin and gave him a smile. “My name is Sarah, Colonel. Sarah Becket.”

Hitchens bowed to her, as two soldiers put manacles on Morrison’s wrists.

They couldn’t take him…he’d done nothing wrong.

But what was Nathan, just a puny little weakling Private, going to do?

Nathan took in a deep breath.

What he would give to be stronger.

“It is my pleasure to make your acquaintance, my lady. But what are you doing with this group of…ah,” Hitchens waved his hand in the air, searching for the right words, “…rebels?”

“Sophia is a dear friend of mine, and Dr. Morrison is an old friend of my father’s. And I and Dawson are currently courting.”

Hitchens laughed, then, maybe noticing he was in the presence of a woman, cleared his throat.

“Apologies, madame. I laughed without even thinking. To court Dawson Thomas…you must have a very low bar for a husband…”

Sarah’s eyebrows furrowed together.

Nathan turned around.

Dawson bit his lip and his gaze fell to his boots.

Nathan turned back around to face Hitchens.

He saw Lidia and Morrison, with foreheads touching, whispering. Praying, Nathan guessed. Ruth and Ina both clung to their father.

No more standing by.

Nathan slowly got out of Sophia’s arms.

“Sir, may I say something?”

Hitchens smiled faintly. “Ah, Private Meijer…finally…maybe…maybe a voice of reason.”

You’re about to be disappointed, Nathan thought. “Actually sir, I…agree with Sarah. There isn’t a reason to arrest Dr. Morrison. He is a kind man, loyal to a fault. He’s not the kind of man that would assist the American traitors, sir. You have the wrong man.”

Hitchens narrowed his eyes. “Excuse me?”

“You have the wrong man put under arrest, sir.”

Hitchens stared at him.

A part of Nathan wanted to run and hide. But he didn’t.

He’d changed since David died.

And…he couldn’t explain why…or how.

Hitchens sighed. “I suppose you’re right, Nathan…”

Nathan raised an eyebrow.

Now that…he hadn’t been expecting. “…Sir?”

“You’re right…I do have the wrong man. Men, release the doctor.”

The two soldiers stared at Hitchens.

“Release him!” Hitchens roared.

The soldiers hurried to obey.

Morrison was released from the manacles binding his wrists.

Nathan blinked.

Had it actually…worked?

No…it hadn’t…he just had a feeling that it wasn’t over yet.

Hitchens wasn’t that easily swayed.

Hitchens smiled. “I’m glad Nathan Meijer changed my mind before I arrested the wrong man. Well, I suppose I better be getting back to our camp. Meijer, Thomas, it’s about nighttime. Would you like to come back to camp now?”

Nathan glanced at Dawson.

Their eyes met.

And slowly, Dawson nodded. “Yessir. We…we will.”

[Anonymous]

@joy-caroline. @godlyfantasy12. @koshka. @elishavet-pidyon. Part 2 of the American Revolution scene! And this one doesn’t have the violence. Now part 3 does. Stuff changes as I write it. What can I say? I’m a pantser! xD Anyways, part 2.

The fife drum began beating, sounding reveille.

Nathan quietly groaned and wiped the sleep from his eyes.

Beside him, Dawson awoke. “Morning already?” He groaned

Nathan shrugged. “I guess so.” He slipped his red coat over his cloth undershirt and quickly buttoned it.

Dawson did the same, whilst also trying to fix his awry hair.

Nathan reached outside and grabbed both his and Dawson’s shined boots.

Nathan slipped his on, Dawson did the same, and they crawled outside of the tent.

But Nathan didn’t see other soldiers exiting their tents…odd.

“Where’s everyone else?”

“They were already awoken earlier, Dawson.” Vince replied, suddenly coming around from the side.

Nathan stood. “By Hitchens?”

Vince slowly nodded. Set his lips in a thin line. “Yes…”

“Then why didn’t he wake us up?” Dawson asked.

“He was getting the other men ready…and in position…” Vince replied, his eyes a little brighter, and Nathan was startled to see actual tears held in his eyes.
“Vince…what is it?” Dawson asked, seemingly noticing the tears and concern in Vince’s dark brown, almost black, eyes.

“He wanted the men to be ready. Hitchens has claimed that you have both committed insubordination against him.”

Stepping up for Morrison, Nathan thought. And spending time with so-called “traitors”.

“Then he’s taking us to court-martial?” Nathan asked softly.

Vince shook his head. “He has decided and dictated the punishment without a court’s decision.”

“That’s against the rules.” Dawson hissed.

Vince nodded. “I know…but you and Nathan, especially you, Dawson, know that the rules don’t always apply to Hitchens. He certainly doesn’t always follow them.”

“Then we have to tell someone. Now.”

Vince shook his head. “The men you would have to get are nowhere near here. If you left, it would be considered desertion. And Hitchens doesn’t need to be made angrier. He’s already decided that both of you will be punished…” Vince took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, “and that is why he has all the other men gathered around the whipping post.”

Nathan’s face paled, and he finally looked.

There was just a sea of red, gathered in a group.

And Vince was right.

They were right in that area.

“He can’t. He doesn’t have the proper orders.” Dawson replied, but his face was almost deathly pale.

“It doesn’t matter to him…and there’s nothing we can do.”

“Not again…not again…no…” Dawson whispered, and Nathan grabbed his arm to keep him from falling.

“It’s going to be okay Dawson…I promise…”

He began to help Dawson walk, and Vince followed right behind.

They neared the sea of red, and when they got close enough, Nathan saw Hitchens’ smile…cruel…malicious…sadistic.

“Well…if it isn’t the insubordinates now…did you think stopping me from arresting a traitor would just pass by without punishment?”

“I didn’t stop you…I only gave you the truth and let you decide.” Nathan replied, letting go of Dawson.

And thank goodness, Dawson didn’t fall.

Hitchens scoffed. “A likely story, Meijer. Now, your punishment is decided and will begin shortly. You will both be punished for your disobedience. But…maybe a little…different than what you may be used to.”

He smiled again.

“As this has been done to you multiple times, Dawson Thomas, I suspect this holds little fear for you.” Hitchens began.

Nathan looked back at Dawson’s deathly pale face again. If Hitchens were truly paying attention, he would see that it still held a lot of fear for Dawson, but Nathan suspected that something else was up his sleeve.

“I pondered the predicament all night long…and finally, I have hit upon a solution. Meijer, remove your coat and shirt and prepare for your punishment.”

Nathan began to fumble with the buttons on his coat, removing it as quickly as possible.

He saw, out of the corner of his eye, Dawson sway and stumble. Vince caught him and steadied him, wrapping one arm around him, whispering into his ear.

Nathan finally removed his coat, carefully laying it in the waiting drummer boy’s open arms. Then slipped out of his shirt, also laying it in the boy’s arms.

“Meijer, are you ready?”

“…I’ve learned to take every day and everything as it comes. To be courageous in the face of great pain…now that is strength.”

Nathan raised his chin, strengthened by the reminder…the words of David, the friend he’d lost…the friend who had died for him, taken a bullet for him. And he squared his shoulders, determined to look brave, be brave, for Dawson. “Yessir. I am.”

[GodlyFantasy12]

@freedomwriter76 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 

*sits on edge of seat waiting for the next part!*

#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb

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