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Sounds like a great book, Rosey, even if it does need a rewrite. And let me guess… Cobalt is the one wearing blue… right? How did I ever guess?
I’m in the middle of writing a sequel to my first ‘real’ novel (as in novel I would acknowledge to be mine) and that first novel needs a rewrite too! What a small world it is…Another thing about dialogue is that when two people talk, they jump to conclusions about each others meaning. If they know each other well, they can see what’s coming next, so they can often answer a question before it’s asked.
Your mom: honey, what are you doing?
You: What do you need me to do, Mom?
You answered it with a question, because you know the question she was going to follow up her first question with was ‘will you please do something for me?’. Make sense? I think this is called subtext… but don’t quote me on that.Well, I by no means consider myself an expert in dialogue, but I love it. A lot. I’m the guy who reads scripts of movies before watching the actual movies. I’m the guy that believes that the life of the story is the dialogue. You can have a awesome story, but if the dialogue is sparse or stupid then your story is a dead one. I’m the guy whose writing style has a heavy emphasis on dialogue. I believe that dialogue is the best part of the story.
I blog on story and spiritual things at mkami.weebly.com
As do I. Your characters may become only blocks of wood or stilted puppets if they have no speaking parts, but to speak is to live, and the breath of life for a character on paper definitely comes in the dialogue.
Oh, and one more thing to add to this. The ‘type’ of your dialogue should fit the genre of your book. Like, Fantasy vs. Scifi, say. I’m too lazy to think up a mini-scene right now, so I’ll post a quick example from my WIP…
Egann laughed merrily. “You have not changed, at any rate,” he said. “Your tongue is still as sharp as the fangs of a wolf. Thank you for your advice— good advice may come from the most unlikely sources.” He bowed again, mockingly, and turned his eyes to Denholm. “I am afraid I do not have the pleasure of your acquaintance, lad,” he said. “Who might you be?”
Denholm stared at him long and hard, his face no indication of what was passing in his heart. “My father’s son,” he replied at last. Egann raised his eyebrows. “That is hardly your name.”
“It is name enough for me,” Denholm answered.
“Well,” Egann replied. “Shall I call you by that name in all my dealings with you from this moment forward?”
“If it pleases you.”
“It does not. Men have their own names, and I will not disgrace a man so far as to call him by his father’s name when he has his own.”
Denholm laughed. “Perhaps when you know my father, you will think differently,” he said.See? It’s medieval-y. It’s high and noble sounding, and if you or I went around talking like that today people would think we were crazy. Oh wait…
But anyway, try and translate that conversation into modern day terms— the kind of stuff you would probably find in science fiction. It’s… different, isn’t it? Think about it.
In my own opinion, fantasy should not contain words like ‘yeah’ and ‘okay’ and ‘gotcha’ and stuff like that. It’s too modern. Now, if you’re doing modern fantasy, okay, that’s different. But you get the idea.
There are dialog cliches to avoid as well.
“You’ll never get away with this!” “Oh, but I already have/Watch me.”
“It’s quiet… too quiet.”
“You should sit down.”
“Well if it isn’t___”
“How is he?” “He’ll live.”
“What just happened?”
“Whatever you do, don’t look down.”
“Stay here.” “No way, I’m coming with you.”Usually just try and find something more creative. Turn it on its head and find a funny way to say it. Or just poke fun at the cliche and admit it for what it is in a funny way. Example:
A few minutes passed and Jean checked her watch: 01:34 hrs. She shivered and looked around, but still nothing moved. The silence rang in her ears.
“Cobalt,” Jean whispered, her own voice almost made her jump, “Something’s wrong.” Cobalt tipped his head and bit his lip, listening.
“You’re right,” He said, squinting, “It’s quiet….” A slow grin spread across his face, “…too quiet!” He did spider fingers towards Jean, cackling.
“No, seriously!” Jean was still whispering. She sighed, “I should have said yes to Mr. Ecks’ offer for backup.”
Good points. I like that little example you did there… you’re going to make me crazy to read that book, Rosey.
Cliches of any nature should sometimes be avoided, and sometimes they should be used and flipped around when the reader isn’t expecting it. Both ways are effective. Good thoughts!
Yup! Cliches live in the trash in my house
I blog on story and spiritual things at mkami.weebly.com
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