Criticism on a revision draft

[hybridlore]

@rae

I’m not sure, but thanks!

Okay, got it. It all makes more sense now.

"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C.S.L.

[Loopy]

@rae

Aaaaa sorry I’m so behind on reading this! I’m still on chapter two. I’m the kind of person who generally either reads an entire book within a day, or chips away at it for months. No in between.

But anyway, I’ll try to read some more tonight.

Now the question is, at what point do like Nahim that if he died, would you feel any emotion for him?

Honestly, at this point, I’m interested in his story, but I wouldn’t be too sad if he died.

And I hope you don’t mind this question, but do have a hard time separating the words Alin and Akin? Do they look exactly the same to you?

No, those are easy to separate in my head. I might slip up while reading out loud, but no, that wouldn’t be a problem for me. I have a set of twin characters named Eddie and Ellie and I don’t usually mix them up.

The chapters aren’t too long! I think that’s a normal length for most books’ chapters.

Any paint can be finger paint if you don't care enough

[Ruth]

@loopylin

It’s fine. I am usually the same!

Pfp drawn by Surpent on Unvale. I'm a little obsessed so it's over here now.

[Author]

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