Criticism on a revision draft

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  • #160161
    hybridlore
    @hybridlore
      • Rank: Chosen One
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      @rae

      I’m not sure, but thanks!

      Okay, got it. It all makes more sense now.

      "Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C. S.

      #160418
      Loopy
      @loopylin
        • Rank: Chosen One
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        @rae

        Aaaaa sorry I’m so behind on reading this! I’m still on chapter two. I’m the kind of person who generally either reads an entire book within a day, or chips away at it for months. No in between.

        But anyway, I’ll try to read some more tonight.

        Now the question is, at what point do like Nahim that if he died, would you feel any emotion for him?

        Honestly, at this point, I’m interested in his story, but I wouldn’t be too sad if he died.

        And I hope you don’t mind this question, but do have a hard time separating the words Alin and Akin? Do they look exactly the same to you?

        No, those are easy to separate in my head. I might slip up while reading out loud, but no, that wouldn’t be a problem for me. I have a set of twin characters named Eddie and Ellie and I don’t usually mix them up.

        The chapters aren’t too long! I think that’s a normal length for most books’ chapters.

        Official KP archivist ✨

        #160445
        Ruth
        @rae
          • Rank: Chosen One
          • Total Posts: 4177

          @loopylin

          It’s fine. I am usually the same!

          Goat babysitter atm πŸπŸ’€
          #AnduthForever (πŸ’•)

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