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So, this is a story I’ve been working on. It follows the adventures of Linda Rose, a duck who wants to see the world. Each chapter is like its own mini adventure. Without further ado, here is Chapter One!
Linda Rose was sure that she was no ordinary duck. She longed to get away from the boring duck pond behind Walmart and see the world. Linda tipped her beak disdainfully. The other ducks might be content with their lives, full of fear and stale bread, but she was meant for more! One day, she packed her meager belongings, (eight bottle caps, three pull tabs, a pen, and some stale bread), bade farewell to her favorite sister Marilyn Lily, and left.
Linda wandered around the corner of Walmart, laughing with exhilaration. The sun was shining, the air was cool, life was—Linda screamed, and leapt back as a monster with putrid breath thundered past. It was a Hondbeast! Linda had heard horror stories about them, but never had she been so close to one. She leaned against Walmart, trembling. Perhaps she would be better off flying. Linda sighed. Now she was hungry. She jumped up. That was it! She would raid Walmart! There would be adventure, thrill, and best of all, food! Better food then stale bread and minnow, and maybe even fresh fruit. Linda flew at the door. Miraculously, it opened. Linda gasped. The place was enormous. There was food, balloons, stuffed animals, and music. It was paradise.
Nearby voices startled Linda out of her daze. Heavenly as this place was, humans were dangerous, and would not take kindly to a duck in their store. She hurriedly hid behind a counter until they passed, then ran across the store and dove into the lettuce. It was delicious. Linda was so intent on devouring her lettuce that she did not notice the human until it was too late.
“There’s a duck in the lettuce!” a man yelled. “Call animal control!”
Linda threw some lettuce in her bag and fled as more humans came to investigate the commotion.
“I have a net!” shouted a woman, banging it down where Linda had been just a moment before. Startled, Linda fell into the watermelons. “Uncle Cosmo’s tailfeathers,” she muttered, and heaved a watermelon out of the crate. The woman screamed and grabbed her foot. Seizing her opportunity, Linda leapt into a nearby shelf of apples, sending them flying. As the humans started panicking and slipping on apples, Linda made her escape.
Alone in a deserted aisle of the store, Linda pondered her next move. She couldn’t stay, but she couldn’t figure out how to escape without getting captured. If she could find a weapon in the aisle…no, it was mostly snacks. Linda sighed. At least I won’t go hungry. Then she saw something that made her blood run cold: Duck jerky. Linda stepped closer, hoping she’d misread. She hadn’t. The world swam, and Linda clutched at the shelf, trying not to faint. This was no longer fun. They could kill her.
“I’ve got to get out of here,” she whispered.
“You can’t.”
Linda whirled around. A penguin with crazy yellow head feathers peered around the corner. Weren’t penguins supposed to live somewhere cold?
“There is no escape. I should know; I’ve been here for two years now. It’s a heck of a life.” The penguin sighed dramatically and leaned against the shelf. “I’m Howard, by the way. Howard Iceburger.”
Two years? “Oh no. Mr. Iceburger, I have to escape!” Linda gestured wildly at the horrid jerky. “They’ll kill me!”
“Just Howard, ducky. They won’t kill you if they can’t catch you. If you’re wondering how I survived, it’s a long, dark story.” Though his face had a tragic expression, his eyes sparkled with excitement.
Linda wasn’t sure he was quite sane. “Howard, I need to escape.”
“I was born in Chile. My parents abandoned me on the side of the road. They never loved me.”
“I’m sorry,” Linda faltered. Maybe she could hit him over the head and run.
Howard pulled a cigar from somewhere in his feathers and took a bite. “Don’t be, it was for the best. Anyway, I climbed into a nearby truck, which carried me here. The storage freezer has been my home ever since. It’s a terribly lonesome life, but such is my lot.” He took another bite of his cigar and chewed thoughtfully.
Linda failed to see how this story was long or dark. “Look, I–”
Howard dragged her into a storage freezer. “Here. Eat this. It’s called ice cream. It’s the only way I’ve kept my sanity in this desolate wilderness.”
Linda snorted. Desolate wilderness indeed. What a weirdo. Had he ever had sanity in the first place?
“Eat little duck,” commanded Howard. “Then tell me how you ended up here.”
Linda took a bite. “It’s so cold,” she sputtered.
Howard rolled his eyes. “It’s called ice cream for a reason, ding dong.”
She huffed. “My name is Linda, not ding dong.” She stuck her beak in the ice cream again. If you could get past the cold, it wasn’t bad.
Howard had opened his own carton and was dipping a cigar in it. “What’s your story?”
Linda told Howard about the boring duck pond, her need for adventure, and her desire for fresh food that had gotten her trapped here.
“I need to escape. Please help me,” she begged.
Howard stuffed the remainder of his cigar in his beak. “I think I have an idea. It’s risky, but it may work.”
The next day, Linda found herself in the Squishmallow bin near the checkout counter, anxiously awaiting a full cart. Carts one through three weren’t full enough, cart five was too full, and carts four and six had children. Several kids had already been in the Squishmallow bin, and Linda’s hiding place had almost been exposed. Linda sighed. Walmart ought to have better accommodations for runaway ducks.
“Now!” hissed Howard, pointing at the next cart. Linda held her breath as Howard flung his lasso. He only had one chance. The lasso settled neatly around a circular candy shelf, and Howard yanked it. The candy shelf came down with a crash. As the entire store turned in the direction of the crash, Linda grabbed her bag, hopped in the cart, and nestled herself among the groceries. Howard had taken his lasso, and was fleeing down an empty aisle. She would return from her travels someday, and bring him souvenirs.
Linda’s shopping cart began to move, and she turned her mind back to her current predicament. She just had to make it past the selfcheck. The woman began to unload groceries. Linda stuffed her head under her wing, trying to look like a pillow. She wasn’t noticed. The groceries were soon scanned, and they were out the door. Linda jumped down from the cart and took off into the air. She was free, and she was going to see the world!
Tempus adest gratiae
Hoc quod optabamus,
Carmina laetitiae
Devote reddamus!Paragraph 2 sentence 3 should say Honkbeast.
Tempus adest gratiae
Hoc quod optabamus,
Carmina laetitiae
Devote reddamus!@theducktator oh that was hilarious. You said you need ideas?
Let me think……
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
oh that was hilarious.
Thank you!
Tempus adest gratiae
Hoc quod optabamus,
Carmina laetitiae
Devote reddamus!Oh, I just realized I never commented on this! I love it, Howard is super funny lol.
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I dub this here post a decent one.
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You will love what you spend time with.
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