Brother and sister friendship

[Elfwing]

Hi I need help with my novel in making a realistic brother and sister relationship they’re teenagers, and really good buddies.
I don’t have a brother my age, so I don’t quite know how to write that kind of friendship

I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

[Anonymous]

@elfwing

Ooh! Ooh! *raises hand eagerly* I stan a great teen brother-sister relationship! And if I may say so myself, I think I’m qualified to give you some tips since I have a brother of my own. I’m 15 and he’s 18, so we’re relatively close in age (though when you’re 15 and 18, it seems like a huge gap XD).

So here’s a list of tips I think might be helpful! Let me know if you want more.

1. So even if they’re best buds, a brother-sister relationship usually doesn’t show physical affection. Sisters tend to be much more physically affectionate, while brothers usually either resist it or begrudgingly submit to it. Older brothers, especially, don’t typically show their love through lots of physical touch. So I would advise you to go very sparingly on that. Brothers and sisters much oftener share their love in different, mutual ways. For example, I can’t remember the last time my brother hugged me, but I know he loves me because he shows it clearly in other ways he’s comfortable with. For one, he subtly asks me questions about my day, my friends, my chem class, etc., all while pretending to be nonchalant while I give my answers, but I know he’s asking because he cares and wants to know that my life is going okay. For another, I can tell he cares because whenever he senses that something or someone is bothering me, he goes into full protective-brother mode and either defends me, rescues me from the situation, or gets my mind off it.

2. Brothers are famous for teasing their sisters. I can’t be in the same room with my brother for ten minutes before he starts teasing me about something. Like when I ask him a question – such as “Is it cold outside?” and it’s morning in December – he’ll respond with exaggerated sarcasm (“Noooo, Joy, it’s at least 130 degrees”). He laughs at me constantly, day in and day out. But it’s very important to note that I laugh, too, and that his sarcasm and teasing are endearing because it’s another way he shows he cares (while still being nonchalant about it). A caring brother will never tease his sister in a way that’s malicious or makes her feel bullied or uncomfortable. He always makes sure she’s laughing, too, and if she’s hurt, then he’ll immediately repent and apologize.

3. A loving brother gives advice. I know that if I go to my brother needing advice about anything – anything at all – he’ll be there to give it. If I ask him a life question, he listens. If I ask for help with homework, he immediately puts down what he’s doing – even if he’s busy – and comes to teach me. He’s been a great help to me.

4. As for sisters, we do our own fair share of teaching, but often we’re not as good at coming up with retorts as our brothers are. Just today my brother was bugging me and I was trying to articulate a comeback, but couldn’t find one! Also, our teasing often comes in the form of threatening to give our brother a hug or kiss. Though we do it seriously sometimes – like when my brother returned from a trip one time and I ran to the door to give him a hug, simply because I missed him.

5. Finally, a brother and sister with a great friendship will stick by each other through thick and thin. They might even argue sometimes, but they’ll quickly make up – and if anyone else comes for one sibling, the other will become very protective.

Hope this helped, and great luck! 😀

[Elfwing]

@Joy-caroline

Okay! thanks for the tips… they’re super helpful, and they line up with what I have heard from my friends for sure. I just come from a very awesome family who loves hugs and there’s nobody who doesn’t hug, even with the guy cousins.

The sarcasm and comeback rule is so true, even with guys who are acquaintances, and oh man it’s funny watching brothers and sisters in a sarcasm war (which I- *cough- may have joined in once or twice on one for fun… *whistles innocently)

as far as age: in this case the brother is a year younger and the confidant clown who’s also got a good dose of sarcasm, not to mention wit (and good looks, to his own annoyance sometimes), the sister has few friends but him so they sort of rely on each other. As far as hugging; while they’re not the huggy type they do a couple hugs through out the books, like when he disappeared for a year and he surprises her by coming to her home for a visit, her reaction is to shriek with joy, grab a dishtowel from her oven and give him a rat-tail with it and give him a good smack on the shoulder before hugging him. His reaction is to pick her up, because she’s super short and he’s really tall, and then tease her about being short (and the balance is restored, muahahaha).

with teasing I think I have that down; most of my friends growing up were guys, the family we’re really good friends with (their whole family is huggers) has three boys all older than me and one girl my age who I’m best buddies with, and we were around them often enough that I sometimes got the little sister treatment as far as the teasing, and still have some sarcasm wars.

would this be realistic, then?

“This can’t get any worse! What did you go and wake her up for?!” Faeda yelled as she and Tyroll went racing down the hill towards the woods, the basket on her back bobbing up and down.

The Tyrox dragon chasing them let out a roar of rage and came barreling after them. She rushed over them like a tornado wind, and they ducked just in time.

“Yes! It could get worse, the Tyrox could call it’s mate and they would catch you and eat you, shorty! I’m too fast and anyways I don’t taste good, so I’d be fine. Any last words, sis? I’ll tell mum and dad you love them and said goodbye.” Tyroll said with a grin and a side glance at his older sister, he ducked his head to the right to avoid an incoming swat from Faeda.

“Stop it, you! It’s not funny!” She said, trying to glare at him. But she couldn’t; he knew how to be annoying and lovable at the same time.

“Fine, sorry! Just trying to be optimistic! They’ll probably eat us both then.”

“You just don’t know when to stop being funny!”

“Yes, I do, I just choose to keep doing it.” Tyroll said as they entered the pine forest, and ran down the old footpath.

And for the advice part, that is so great! I have had friends tell me I’m missing out with not having an older brother to talk to and get advice from.

Thanks so much for the tips, I shall be implementing them! 🙂

• This reply was modified 3 years ago by Elfwing.

I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

[Evelyn]

@elfwing

Uh… I may not be extremely qualified for this because I’m 14 and my brother’s almost 12, but I have a lot of guy friends that I’m so close to other people ask if we’re siblings, surely that counts, riiiiiiight?

Exactly.

The younger one always looks up to the older one, that’s just a fact. My brother looks up to me immensely and I look up to my guy friend who’s older than me by almost a year. But they get upset with each other. A LOT!!! I can’t even count the times I’ve argued with my brother and friend. But they’re also very protective of each other. I could be arguing with my brother one minute and yelling at someone trying to make fun of him the next. Siblings don’t just argue about regular things, they argue about the stupid stuff and get mad at each other for the little things. Take the time I argued with my brother for calling me a cow, for example. Or the time I fought my friend over a deck of cards! xD

Brothers will always care about their sisters, even if they don’t always show it, which can sometimes make sisters feel insecure. Brother and sister feel comfortable with things they might not be comfortable with with other people. If they’re really close they’ll likely be more comfortable with physical closeness. Not hugging and cuddling, exactly, just sitting or laying next to each other, glad the other one if there.

Not sure if this helps, like I said, I don’t have the most experience, but hopefully this does help! 🙂

If you ask me about my book, I will talk for hours. Have a nice day!😊

[Elfwing]

@iluvhim18

Thanks! no that’s very helpful and I’m glad you said it, I like having several views on things!

I have heard that some brothers and sisters are friends and enemies at the same time, it’s always slightly puzzled and amused me.

the sitting next to sibling but not hugging thing makes sense, being close to another person you love and trust is comforting and enjoyable.

Thanks for your input, it’s been helpful!!

😀

I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

[Evelyn]

@elfwing

Aww, thanks, I try to be helpful.

Brothers and sisters do pretty much have that relationship, I like that analogy! xD It reminds me of the time my brother wrote a poem about me. Before anyone goes ‘awwwww! So cute and wholesome!’ just know that it’s called My Klutzy Sister and it’s about how clumsy I am. We laughed together but I also got really upset with him because he shared it with his class, and I tend to be a pretty private person.

And it really is the best (at least for me) to just sit next to my brother or my friend. It makes you feel relaxed and at ease to know that you have someone with you that you trust with your life right there with you.

If you ask me about my book, I will talk for hours. Have a nice day!😊

[Elfwing]

@iluvhim18

haha oh man, siblings are God’s way of testing our patience… I ought to know I have five younger ones XD

I suppose it would be accurate when I tell people; “I love my siblings… but I do not always like them.”

Thanks for the input it was very helpful!

🙂

I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

[Evelyn]

@elfwing

I definitely agree with you there! xD

• This reply was modified 3 years ago by Evelyn.

If you ask me about my book, I will talk for hours. Have a nice day!😊

[Anonymous]

@elfwing

Yay! Glad I could help.

I think a few hugs throughout the book are great as long as they don’t just come at casual or random times. I think you’re using that well – it’s definitely realistic to hug your sib after they’ve disappeared for a year. Especially with the teasing added in.

I think your excerpt is realistic – I would make no change except to maybe cut out the word “sis” since that’s kind of an assumption that brothers and sisters call each other “bro” and “sis” but I’ve never heard any siblings actually do that and my brother and I never have. Other than that, everything looks awesome!

[Elfwing]

@joy-caroline

Thanks for the advice and input! You are right, siblings don’t seem to say that. I’ve only heard one person say that to their sister, ever. In fact, I’ve only heard guys say “Bro!” to friends, and I sometimes will say something and end it with “-sister!” but never to my sister. Funny how that works XD

Thanks! Glad you liked it!

Why is writing so addictive?? once I start I can’t seem to stop, (my schoolwork complains)

Well thank you for the input you guys!

🙂

I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

[Anonymous]

@elfwing

Haha, true. I never thought about that before.

Same!

And no problem! 🙂

[Author]

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