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Oooooh, I like it!
There is one thing that could use tweaking though. Both Kara and Matthias seem a little scattered and unfocused as to their emotional state. Now they’re supposed to be; I know. They’re both confused. But the reader shouldn’t be. It’s not that both of them shouldn’t be struggling with several different emotions at once, but that you need to prioritize and focus the emotions into different levels. One minute Kara is scared to death, the next she’s sassing Blake, only to dive to seething anger in a heartbeat and then back all over again. All the emotions she’s feeling are valid, but they need to be a little more realistically prioritized.
Same for Matthias, though it was mostly in the cafeteria.And I think a description of the Warden would have gone a long way to making me connect with him too.
Aaaand can I just say I already love the relationship between him and Blake. Yeah.
Okay! I’ve read it now. 😛 You had ideas?
*sigh* Yes. Emotions. Fickle things, hard for me to write. I’ll get better at it eventually.
I don’t have any ideas for chapter 7. None. My brain is empty except for one thing that doesn’t even relate to the seventh chapter and I don’t know if I’ll even use it yet. @kate-flournoy
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
*pulls out sword pen and sticks it behind her ear* How can I help?
You’re my brainstorming buddy. You’re always helping. @kate-flournoy
I feel like the logical move is to decide…the logical move for my characters. Kara and Blake head back to their cells, but now Kara knows that Blake has a lot of secrets. Matthias, the instigator, is in solitary and is rather incapable of doing anything at the moment…so everything is kinda at a lull…
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
Also… @emma-flournoy Thank you so much for going through Prison the way you are. It’s really helping me!
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
@That_Writer_Girl_99 meh. Logic. Who cares about logic? 😛
Forget the logic for a sec. What is the most natural emotional course for the characters? Go wild. Not even kidding.
And one question that might give you some answers— what is the Warden going to do with Blake? What are they saying/doing, locked up in that office together?Pause. I have to do the dishes, cause I’m home now, and then if we’re on can we move this to the actual google doc in itself? @kate-flournoy
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
@That_Writer_Girl_99 Aw, really? I’m glad to hear that. 😀 My pleasure.
@kate-flournoy If I think of anything while I’m gone, I’ll comment it here and you can tell me if it’s a good idea or it.
Can you tell I’m a bit overwhelmed lol? I have no idea what to do next. No idea where to go…what to do…
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
@That_Writer_Girl_99 sounds like a plan.
Ahhh… you can do it. 😉
Here’s the thing. I work best when I have a goal–a specific scene or event in mind–to propel me forward in the story. I guess that’s means the reason why I’m stuck is because I haven’t come up with that yet. So I came up with a question–what am I goin g to do with Ava and Tam?
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
@That_Writer_Girl_99 good; you’re learning about yourself and how to hijack your creative functions. 😛
That’s a great question. Did you have any ideas?I think…some point soon, Kara is going to get tired of not knowing what happened to Tam. And then she’s going to want to find her. @kate-flournoy
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
@That_Writer_Girl_99 that is a logical think. *nods* Where does she begin?
I don’t know. Like, does she initiate wanting to find Tam? Does Blake help goad her in that direction? Hm. @kate-flournoy
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
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