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Hi Everyone,
I’m working on my book description now and would like your opinion. The first paragraph is one I wrote a while ago and feel settled on, so I don’t think I’ll change anything there unless there’s a glaring error, but the second part is what I’d particularly like your help on. And…*controls explosive laughter* I totally flattered myself in this description, like…a lot. So feel free to tell me I should eat my humble pie if you think so. The [insert descriptor here] means just that. I want a good adjective to compliment “bittersweet,” but I’m not sure what to use yet.
Here we go:
Matthew is sworn to avenge a murder. His dedication to his wronged family is powerful enough to bring him through any trial, but youth and inexperience hold him back. Setting out to find new strength, he plummets into a web of tangled plots, tragedies, and a deep uncertainty surrounding his destiny. Matthew returns years later with wealth and power, ready to fulfill his vengeance. Assuming the mysterious guise of Edwin Brook, he begins his struggle for justice, but uncanny events keep thwarting his every move. In a twist of fate, he is forced to confront everything he fights for shattered, everything he cherishes put to the test, and a long-hidden truth that will threaten his life.
Edwin Brook is a tale of tragedy and hope, love and justice, highwaymen, daring rescues, historic treasure, and a [insert descriptor here] bittersweetness that won’t be easily forgotten. It is an 18th-century action adventure novel with a classical bent, but an intensity that will appeal to modern readers. This tale is bound to engage lovers of historical fiction, action and espionage, mysterious characters, and stories with a psychological bent. Lovers of classical literature may also enjoy some of this book’s similarities in style to works such as Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities or Alexandre Dumas’ The Count of Monte Cristo.
If you are beginning to feel the call, take the plunge and experience it for yourself.
@kate-flournoy @emma-flournoy @graciegirl @dragon-snapper @hope @winter-rose @his-instrument @rolena-hatfield @northerner🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢
@Daeus you were born to sell things, weren’t you?
I love it. I think it’s great. Can’t find anything right off the top of my head that needs fixing.
And hey, it’s not flattery if it’s true, now is it?As for descriptions… solemn?
@daeus, You might want to specify that it’s set in the 18th century, because “18th-century action adventure novel” will sound like it was written, not set, in the 18th century.
I’d advise against using things like “bound to engage”, because honestly, no book is every guaranteed to appeal to someone even if it is in a genre they love. It can also sound a bit pushy, like those query letters that say “It’s going to be the next bestseller”. Since I haven’t read the book I can’t help with the [insert descriptor here] part.And I know you said you were pretty satisfied with the first paragraph but the phrase “he is forced to confront everything he fights for shattered” doesn’t make sense to me.
You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation. (Isaiah 12:3)
@kate-flournoy Hehe. Thanks. Would you like a crocodile toenail? Just looking at those things whisks you off into a land where the trees rocket into the firmament and the eternal marshlands teem with the untold tales of a thousand deeds the murk has hidden from our annals of history. If I had half a brain I’d charge you $300, but because you’re my friend I’ll do it for $49.
😛
Hmm. Not solemn. I want something stirring, not flat. I want to say ‘yearning,’ but I don’t think that quite makes sense.
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@northerner Good points.
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@Daeus For the [insert descriptor here] you should do ‘tear-jerking’.
No, I’m kidding. It’s true but bittersweet kind of already says that. 😛 Eh…I’ll tell you if I think of anything.And you don’t need to eat your humble pie—how will they know how good it is if you don’t tell them?!
The only thing I’d say to fix is to italicize the book titles at the end; that’s the proper form when writing a book title.
@Daeus *gags* No THANK YOU.
Hm… good point. I’m drawing a blank though. I shall return if something comes to me.
@northerner Read it like, “confront everything he fights for being shattered.” I think most people have been fine with the wording, though a few have been confused by it. I don’t know. I’ll consider possibly changing it.
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@emma-flournoy Yeah, I have them italicized where I wrote them, but copying and pasting it here apparently stripped it of its formatting.
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@Daeus Ah yes, that’d do it.
How about ‘aching’? I looked up synonyms for yearning and that was the only one I saw yet that might possibly sound good…
Or ‘wistful’, but that may not be strong enough.
Great work, @daeus ! And there’s yet another reference to the Count of Monte Cristo. Zikers, I really need to read this book I guess. 😉 I’ve also never read the Tale of Two Cities, so I honestly can’t have an opinion as far as comparison goes. Kate’s right, too. It’s not really flattery bc it’s true. 🙂 The only thing that I noticed that might be worth taking a look at was that you used the term ‘bent’ twice and really close together. But that’s just a pet peeve of mine. 🙂 For the descriptor…subtle or maybe heartwarming? Once again, great job!
Also, real quick, what in the world is all that about a crocodile’s toenail????? Trees rocketing into the firmament? Oi. Forget I asked, I don’t wanna know. 😉😂😂
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This reply was modified 7 years, 8 months ago by
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This reply was modified 7 years, 8 months ago by .
*is probably geeking out about something*
@emma-flournoy Thanks, but I don’t really want the meaning of yearning, I want the feel it gives you. That emotional code imprinted on it.
@graciegirl Thanks. Btw, The Count of Monte Cristo is my all time favorite novel and A Tale of Two Cities is my second favorite.The crocodile toe–I was just trying to sell one to Kate. …Though I don’t actually have one to sell. Hmm. Maybe I’ll outsource that part.
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You used bent twice, and since it’s a unique descriptive word it’s noticeable.
I kind of agree with @northerner with the ‘he is forced to confront everything he fights for shattered’ part. I mean I understand it but I have to read it twice.@Daeus Oh yeah, totally know what you mean.
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