Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › Beta Reader wanted for my first 2 chapter of my Fantasy WIP
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May 10, 2021 at 6:34 pm #99392
Hey everyone,
I am looking for a beta reader to read the first few chapters of my middle grade fantasy WIP and give me feedback
If anyone, is interested please let me know your email, and I will add you to my Google doc, so you can comment directly onto my doc.
May 11, 2021 at 1:00 pm #99483If you don’t want to share your email, but are interested in beta reading my work then feel free to let me know, and I will just share my doc link, so you can then comment on my work
May 11, 2021 at 1:36 pm #99490I’d love to be a beta reader and provide feedback for you! I’m not sure if I’d be the best person because I don’t have anything published myself yet, but I’m getting closer and closer every day and have been writing for years.
I don’t share my email because it not only includes my full name but also my town/school name, and I’m not comfortable with sharing that for obvious reasons. I have some things going on right now but I definitely always have room to help a friend out!
Let me know if you accept my request! ๐
If you ask me about my book, I will talk for hours. Have a nice day!๐
May 11, 2021 at 1:38 pm #99491I accept your request
Here is the link
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KNU6IgjpxOtiIs0Qx9Is3OkgI2lLETTDumn7wamQc0Q/edit?usp=sharing
Let me know by when you will be done beta reading
May 11, 2021 at 2:01 pm #99507I’m on page 4 so far and I love the story! I do, however, have a couple of concerns. There are some spelling and grammar mistakes that need to be fixed, I suggest those first. And I also suggest giving the characters’ individual voices. I can’t tell the difference between who’s speaking, thankfully this is an easy fix by developing tone and diction a bit more. Another thing is if you’re going to quote something within a quote, use single parentheses.
One other thing that takes away from the story is the layout. Your set-up is “Dialogue!” Said Evelyn. Repeat. While there’s nothing wrong with this by itself, there needs to be more description between the dialogue. It’s a little choppy and repetitive, maybe add some action into the mix.
Mostly everything else can be glossed over since you’re so early into your story. Please take this in the most constructive way possible, and I’m sorry if I’m coming across as blunt or mean. I really do love your story so far and can’t wait to see where it goes! ๐
If you ask me about my book, I will talk for hours. Have a nice day!๐
May 11, 2021 at 2:05 pm #99508Thanks for the feedback, could you please comment all this straight on my doc ?
May 11, 2021 at 2:57 pm #99509I would, but I noticed that when I try to comment it includes my email address, once I’m able to sign out of my Google account I’ll comment it in the Doc.
If you ask me about my book, I will talk for hours. Have a nice day!๐
May 11, 2021 at 3:03 pm #99510It won’t work without signing in, so just give me feedback over here itself
May 11, 2021 at 3:51 pm #99511Alright. If you like you can copy/paste these right into the Doc.
If you ask me about my book, I will talk for hours. Have a nice day!๐
May 11, 2021 at 3:53 pm #99512So, you can comment here, and then for my reference I will copy and paste into my doc is that what you are saying ?
May 12, 2021 at 10:46 pm #99621Hi!
I’ve read what you have so far and I am greatly enjoying it. I think that the plot is a really good one and am wanting to read more!
My critiques would be that the way it is written is a little choppy to read. It’s sort of halting making the dialogues not flow very well. There are also some spelling mistakes throughout.
There’s a program on my computer that works on Google Chrome and Firefox (which are the browsers that I use) called Grammarly and it is compatible with Google Docs and for free it catches spelling mistakes, repeated words, and sentences that don’t flow. It has been helpful for me personally because I am not very good at spelling and grammar.
So that’s my feedback. ๐
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf
May 12, 2021 at 10:49 pm #99622@iluvhim18 Sorry Evilyn, I initially sent the first one to the wrong address. ๐
@anika123ย Hi!Iโve read what you have so far and I am greatly enjoying it. I think that the plot is a really good one and am wanting to read more!
My critiques would be that the way it is written is a little choppy to read. Itโs sort of halting making the dialogues not flow very well. There are also some spelling mistakes throughout.
Thereโs a program on my computer that works on Google Chrome and Firefox (which are the browsers that I use) called Grammarly and it is compatible with Google Docs and for free it catches spelling mistakes, repeated words, and sentences that donโt flow. It has been helpful for me personally because I am not very good at spelling and grammar.
So thatโs my feedback.
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf
May 12, 2021 at 10:54 pm #99624What can i do to make my dialogue better and less choppy to read and flow better ?
May 12, 2021 at 11:22 pm #99626Maybe ask the general forum that question? They’d probably have tips on that. Sorry, I’m not that experienced of a writer.
IDK. Maybe add more of the expressions on their faces?ย The dialogues don’t sound like the way someone would speak in real life.
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf
May 12, 2021 at 11:25 pm #99627The way that they are talking almost sounds stiff like they’re in a formal business sort of a setting, not two good friends talking to each other in an informal setting.
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf
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