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  • #70893
    Skredder
    @skredder
      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
      • Total Posts: 527

      Well, I am trying to write an article for the first time. Unless it’s a school essay, non-fiction is not something I usually do. However, with the grace of God, I have a small article. I was hoping that a few of you would be willing to look it over and tell me what you think. Here’s the link to it.

      https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ca-YnNrrK1p93AEk36aIK35cLDUrVmMY6vmzUoLJk2s/edit?usp=sharing

      Could you tell me how well it flows, if the order of what I wrote makes sense. Also, does it grab your attention and make you think. Anything else you can think of would be awesome! As I said, it’s my first, so I’m not quite sure what I should be looking for. Thanks! 🙂

      I don’t quite know exactly who to tag. Anyone is welcome to give it a shot. 🙂

      "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

      #70897
      Anonymous
        • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
        • Total Posts: 155

        @skredder Great article! The introduction was a little wordy, so you might want to try to trim it down a little. But once I hit “One of the many facets,” your story of how you realized what love is drew me in for the rest of the article. The flow after that point seemed just right.

        You give a unique perspective on love in your article and express yourself very well, so it did make me think. Are you planning on publishing it on a blog?

        #70898
        Skredder
        @skredder
          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
          • Total Posts: 527

          @waterlily Thank you very much! I can try to trim down the introduction part.

          I do plan on submitting it to a blog for publishing. Thank you very much for your suggestions. 😀

          "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

          #70901
          Kaya Young
          @kaya-young
            • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
            • Total Posts: 272

            @skredder  I thought it was great! Your writing style was formal and friendly- I don’t know if that was what you were going for but it was really enjoyable to read.

            I thought that it flowed really well, especially for how short it was and how much content you have packed in there. 🙂 The order of it all works well too.

            It did make me think, and I liked how relatable it was. Overall you did a really good job!

             

             

            The Kingdom has been torn asunder...
            http://www.encircledbygrace.com/

            #70903
            Skredder
            @skredder
              • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
              • Total Posts: 527

              @kaya-young Thank you so much for that. I hadn’t planned for it to be formal and friendly. That’s pretty cool, though.

              I’m really glad the flow was good and the content relatable and made you think. There’s really no point in writing it if it doesn’t do that. 🙂

              Thank you very much for reading! 😀

              "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

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