Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › General Writing Discussions › Another SCENE!!!! Any thoughts y’all?
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August 10, 2022 at 12:56 pm #114990Anonymous
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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AWWWWWWWW FIN SOUNDS ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!!!!!! WHAT AN AMAZING STORY!!!!!! Do tell me he gets a book all to himself, right? RIGHT?!
August 10, 2022 at 12:59 pm #114992Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
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@gracie-j. Thank you! YES, HE IS EPIC!!!! YESS, HIS STORY IS ONE OF MY FAV’S!!!!
RIGHTO! That is actually my plan one day! I need to focus on my main books first,(maybe. We’ll see where God wants to take it all, *wink*) but it would be fun to write his story one day. đ Don’t you worry. I’ve already got a book for his story lined up. đ Gotta think of a good title though. XD
August 10, 2022 at 1:43 pm #114995Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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@freedomwriter76Â YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!
August 10, 2022 at 1:58 pm #115000Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
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@gracie-j. YEP, HOORAY!!!!! đ
August 15, 2022 at 2:55 pm #115246@freedomwriter76
Two things:
1) CAN I PLZ KIDNAP RYKER AND HIDE HIM SOMEWHERE SAFE?!?!?! I DONâT KNOW HOW MUCH MORE MY POOR LITTLE BOY CAN HANDLEEEEEEEEE⊠đIâm a major fan, dear friend⊠MAJOR fanâŠ
2) This Fin character? I like âim⊠A lotâŠ
August 15, 2022 at 3:01 pm #115248Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
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@lydia-s. đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
I’m glad you like Fin! He’s one of my favs! đđ„°
And also…not if I kidnap him first. đđ€«
August 21, 2022 at 6:41 pm #115622Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
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@lydia-s. @gracie-j. @joy-caroline. @koshka. @elishavet-pidyon. @godlyfantasy12. (since they’re both in our RP. *wink*) I have another scene. I’m pretty proud of this one, tbh. XD Just finished writing it a few moments ago. I’m having a lot of fun slowly adding more depth to Ezra. And getting to see Eva! đ What do y’all think? I really like seeing this more vulnerable side of Ezra. đ But what about y’all? And what do y’all think of Eva in this scene? (and don’t worry, I’m planning on writing a scene from her POV that takes place right after this one. *wink wink*)
âElijah works in a factory up towards Lexington way. Heâs a pastor, too. Went to seminary. Daddy was proud of him for that.â Ezra stopped. Why couldnât he take away the bite of jealousy in his voice?
Evaâs eyes lit with sympathy. âIâm sure you miss them.â
âThey donât need me.â Eva blinked. Ezra groaned. âI-I didnât meanâŠEva, I didnât mean to say that. I didnât mean to pull you into all-â
âWhy wouldnât they need you? Family members need and want each other. Thatâs what makes them a family. Did something happen?â
Ezra silently cursed himself. His stupid mouth just couldnât stay shut, could it? âI hurt them, Eva. When I enlisted.â
She raised an eyebrow. Gave him a small smile. âIâm sure they were proud.â
âNo. They wereâŠthey were terrified.â Besides, when had Daddy ever looked at Ezra and said he was proud? âI didnât tell them before enlisting. I justâŠI just did it.â
Eva nodded.
âI argued with them. I-I even madeâŠI even made Mama cry.â He could still see her face and the tears that coursed down her cheeks. Could still see that look on her face⊠sadnessâŠdisappointmentâŠbut not angry, even though thatâs what Ezra had deserved. Still deserved, actually.
âI called DaddyâŠUncle RonaldâŠand Elijah horrible, horrible thingsâŠâ Ezra paused. The sting of guilt pierced his chest.
âI-I even told my brotherâŠI-I even told Elijah in m-my rage that I wished he was dead.â
Evaâs hand flew to her mouth.
Ezra looked away.
He couldnât meet her beautiful, questioning brown eyes.
âEzraâŠI-â
âNow you know. Iâm not the perfect, Christian, patriotic American Pilot everyone sees. Iâve said and done horrible things. Iâve lied. Iâve stole. Iâve hurt others in so many ways. Iâve hated. I told my own brother that I wished he was dead. I canât get away from all the things Iâve doneâŠso, sometimesâŠI drink. My great-grandfather was a hero. He rescued slaves. He was a pastor, following God even if it cost him his life. MamaâŠDaddyâŠGrannyâŠUncle RonaldâŠtheyâre all such faithful men and women of God. They always do whatâs right. My brotherâŠmy sistersâŠeven little Jane, they follow God with their heart. Theyâve been taught about him their whole life and they trust him. Do whatever he tells them to. Theyâve always made the whole family proud. B-But I canât. I donât trust God like that. They can do things so well. And I justâŠI justâŠI mess everything up. Iâm the disappointment, Eva. Thatâs all Iâve ever been. And all I will ever be.â
Ezra risked a glance at Eva. Her eyes were wide.
And she wasâŠshe was crying.
âIâm not angry. Iâm disappointed. If you want to go, EzraâŠthen go. I donâtâŠâ Mama turned away, tears in her eyes.
ââŠI donât care anymore.â
Heâd said too much.
He shoved his chair backwards. âIâm sorry, Eva. I didnât mean to pull you into all this. I shouldnât even talk âbout itâŠI need to go.â
Laughing, Jameson, Yoshua, and Abelard were coming back to the table with some snacks and cokes.
They paused when they saw Ezra standing and Eva crying. âEzra, no, wait, donât go.â
âIâm sorry, Eva.â He turned to his friends. âYâall enjoy your night. IâŠI gotta go.â
They tried to raise protests and questions, but Ezra was already rushing away.
He had to find the exit.
Soon.
He rushed past. Repeated âsorry, sirâ and âexcuse me, Maâamâ over and over again.
He ran past couples dancing.
âWhy didnât you tell us!? We want you to be safe!â Daddy yelled.
âThereâs a war going on! I canât stand by and do nothing!â
âEzra, you should have told us before-!â
âSHUT UP! What would you know!? What would you know other than being some country farmer oblivious to the world!?â
Daddy fought in the Great War.
Why had Ezra been so stupid!?
Daddy didnât deserve that. None of his family did.
âEzra, be careful. You donât want to say more things youâll regret.â Elijah cautioned.
Ezra threw his hands into the air. âWhy would you care!? You love to see me mess up! Youâre a pastor just like great-grandfather Adrian! You make DaddyâŠMamaâŠUncle RonaldâŠGrannyâŠeveryoneâŠso, so proud. So why would you care!?â
âEzraâŠthatâs not true. I love to see you succeed. Youâre my little brother.â
âProve it!â Ezra yelled.
âEnough, Ezra! Youâre acting like a child! Janeâs more mature than you, and sheâs two years old!â
Angry, jealous tears coursed down Ezraâs face. ElijahâŠwhoâd always done everything better than him. ElijahâŠwhoâd always gotten a pat on the back and a smile from Daddy and so many praises of âIâm proud of you, son.â ElijahâŠwho went to seminary and became a pastor. ElijahâŠwho had been everything Ezra couldnât be.
âSo, calm down, settle down, go downstairs, and apologize to Mama and Daddy.â
Ezra didnât move.
Elijah didnât knowâŠElijah didnât understandâŠnone of them did.
âEzra, apologize. Youâll regret it later if you donât. Trust me, I know.â
âNo, you donât! Youâve never had to apologize for anything! Mama and Daddy have always been proud of you! Youâre everything Iâll never be able to be!â
âEzra, quiet! Now youâre really acting like-â
âI wish you were dead!â
Ezra brushed away tears as he ran outside. He had been such a foolishâŠsuch a stupid kid.
The things heâd said to his familyâŠthey were unforgivable.
Ezra certainly wouldnât forgive himself if he were them. Even as himself, he didnâtâŠwouldnâtâŠcouldnâtâŠforgive himself for the way heâd hurt them.
He didnât deserve it anyhow.
Forgiveness wasnât his to have.
He was fine with that.
He rushed past other pilots, soldiers, and sailors, and women filing into the USO dance hall.
Ezra didnât stop running until he got far enough away that EvaâŠJamesonâŠYoshua⊠AbelardâŠwould never find him. At least not quickly.
He gave himself a moment to breath.
Pain sprang from his arms as nails dug into his forearm.
He almost protested, screamed, something, when a hand clasped over his mouth.
Lips came close to his ear. âStay quiet, half-breed, and no one else will have to get hurt.â
The words slurred together. The breath smelled of alcohol.
And the voiceâŠlow, deep, horribly familiar.
Ezra forced himself to stop fighting.
âGood.â
And the attacker pulled him into an alleyway.
August 21, 2022 at 7:35 pm #115623Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
And here’s the promised Eva POV scene. đ
Eva wiped her eyes on her handkerchief.
EzraâŠthere was so much healing that man needed.
Eva was loving him more and more every day. His bright smile. His beautiful, dark brown eyes. His tan skin. His southern drawl. His wonderful morals and values. His honesty. His courage to speak his mind no matter what anyone thought. And more than anything, she loved the kindness of his heart.
There had been so much jealousy when he talked about Elijah at firstâŠbut when he talked about what he said to his brother, there was so much regretâŠso muchâŠguilt.
âLord, I donât know what to do.â She whispered.
Yoshuaâs arm wrapped tighter around her.
âSomeone should go find him and check on him.â Abelard said.
Yoshua shook his head. âNo. Ezra needs some time to think.â
Jameson bit his lip. âLetâs just hope Zach or Rick donât find him alone.â
Yoshua furrowed his eyebrows. âDidnât think of that, Jameson. They wouldnât try anything so close to the USO hall, would they?â
Abelard scoffed. âZach wouldnât care if he was even inside the USO hall.â
Jameson nodded in agreement. âRick would be the same. Besides, theyâre both free for the weekend unless itâs an emergency. Theyâd likely be drunk at this hour.â
Eva balled up the handkerchief in her hand. She needed to talk to Ezra. She needed to tell him that it was okay. God, and she, didnât expect perfection. She needed to tell him she understood. She stood. âIâll find him.â
âNot alone, Maâam.â All three of them protested at the same time.
She raised an eyebrow. âI need to talk to Ezra.â
Yoshua stood. âNot alone, Eva. There could be all sorts of unsavory men out there this time of night.â
Jameson stood. âHeâs right. You canât go alone.â
Abelard stood as well. âWeâll go with you.â
Eva smiled. They were all like Ezra in so many ways.
She gave them a playful smile. âThree bodyguards then? Works for me.â She winked. Giggled. It felt good to laugh.
The three of them laughed as well.
Yoshua offered her his arm. âCome along, Miss Eva. We will protect you from the dragons Zach and Rick.â
She laughed and took his arm.
âThank you very much, Sir Yoshua.â
They walked past couples dancing.
She ached to dance with Ezra.
But he had run away.
Eva should have said something.
Now, she could.
Once they found him.
Jesus, help us find him, she silently prayed, as they walked out into the chilly outdoors. Oh, England was always so cold.
And rainy.
She sighed quietly.
Then clutched tighter to Yoshuaâs arm with determination. They needed to find Ezra. And they would. She knew it.
Yoshua gave her a reassuring smile. âWeâll find him, Eva.â
âI know. I just hope heâs safeâŠâ
Sudden footsteps, and Eva almost jumped out of her skin.
Yoshua, Abelard, and Jameson tensed as well.
âWoah, easy there, fellas. Maâam.â The man, his dark face barely visible in the dark, said, removing his hat in respect.
Eva squinted. That voice was familiar. âCurtis?â
He stepped into the light of a streetlamp. âAye, Eva. Yoshua. Jameson. Abelard.â He said, nodding at each man as he said their name, who relaxed.
âCurtis, I thought you wouldnât be back from your furlough for another few days.â Jameson noted.
Curtis shrugged. âThe war needed me back. Still got to see my wife and kids though.â He raised an eyebrow. âWhat are yâall fellas doing with Eva?â
âLooking for Ezra.â Abelard replied quickly.
Curtis raised an eyebrow. âYou lost him?â
A blow, like a punch, sounded.
A loud thud as if someone collided into a wall.
Eva glanced in the direction of the sound, clutching Yoshua even tighter. Poor man, she was probably cutting off his blood supply by now. She loosened her grip.
Yoshua glanced at the others.
Curtis put his hat back on. âIâll help yâall. All yâall got weapons just in case?â
Abelard nodded. âArmy issued.â
Yoshua and Jameson both nodded as well. Yoshua tapped her arm. âGet behind us, Eva. Curtis, wanna stay behind her as extra protection?â
Curtis nodded. âSounds good to me.â
Eva did as Yoshua directed.
She saw Curtis get behind her.
She was able to relax a little. She trusted these men. With her life.
She followed Yoshua, Jameson, and Abelard, with Curtis behind her, and she prayed with every step.
Ezra had to be safe.
Zach and Rick wouldnât hurt him, right?
There werenât men that were that horrible, were there?
She shuddered.
How had she almost forgotten Hitler?
The sounds of a fistfight got louder.
And closer.
And closer.
She saw Jameson pull out his Army-Issued pistol.
Oh, dear Lord, donât let anyone get hurt or killed. Please. Donât let this escalate that far.
August 21, 2022 at 8:56 pm #115624Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
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@gracie-j. Oh, and girl! I got the Wings of Glory trilogy by Sarah Sundin from the Library this weekend! Oh…I love Allie and Walt already. *sighs dreamily*
August 21, 2022 at 10:15 pm #115627Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@freedomwriter76 ALL Y’ALL. YOU’RE SPEAKIN’ MY LANGUAGE NOW!!!
Also, omgosh I feel so bad for Ezra, and Eva is SO sweet, and AHHHH WHAT HAPPENS NEXT???!!! YOU BETTER PROTECT MY LITTLE BABIES!!!!
August 21, 2022 at 10:16 pm #115628Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
And you’ll have to tell me how you like that series!!! I haven’t had a chance to read that one yet!
August 22, 2022 at 8:30 am #115630Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
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@gracie-j. Oh, don’t worry, I’ll let you know! đ
AND THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! YES, I’M SPEAKING YOUR LANGUAGE! I know, right!? I feel so bad for Ezra! *sobs* But now I understand why he was a bit of a troublemaker when he was younger. Just craving for attention. Especially after his younger sister, Jane, was born. He was the baby of the family until he was 15. And suddenly he felt really forgotten. *sobs* And I’M SO GLAD YOU LOVE EVA! She’s always so sweet and just a perfect match for Ezra! I STILL NEED TO WRITE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! (and don’t you worry, Yoshua, Jameson, and Abelard won’t let anything happen to Eva. *wink* And they won’t let anything else happen to Ezra.) Speaking of them, what do you think of Yoshua, Jameson, and Abelard so far? đ
August 23, 2022 at 11:37 pm #115770@freedomwriter76
I Want To Pummel Someone.
Hard.
Ooohhhh………..be glad I’m on the other side of the internet, buster.
And please, what happens next????
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkAugust 24, 2022 at 8:27 am #115772Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
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@koshka. Oh, me too.
Yes, be very glad. XD
They’ll find Ezra and stop the fight, don’t you worry! (and Jameson may or may not keep the guy (it’s Zach, the one they mentioned, btw) pinned to the ground and tell him to stay still else he’s gonna meet his maker, lol XD My brave boy)
August 24, 2022 at 12:50 pm #115796Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@freedomwriter76 YOU ARE SO WELCOME!!! Awww, poor sweet thing!!! YES THEY BETTER PROTECT THEM!!! Oh, they seem so wonderful!!
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