Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Short Story Critiques › Annie Adams: A Historical Fiction Novella
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January 5, 2023 at 8:45 am #127895
*pouts in corner* Lol sometimes I wished I had a reason to dress up 😂
I know….me too. 🥺
Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo
January 5, 2023 at 3:51 pm #127976I can’t wait to read all this!! When I get the time to sit down and read it all, I definitely will!!
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
January 6, 2023 at 10:41 am #128078@freedomwriter76 @godlyfantasy12 @starofthenorth @keilah-h @esther-c @lightoverdarkness6 @felicity @whalekeeper @theloonyone @loopylin @wilder-w @mineralizedwritings @koshka @elishavet-pidyon @ava-blue @folith-feolin @power @sarafini @madelyn @arien @booksandbeakers @lewilliams @otherworldlyhistorian @princesachronicle22 @devastate-lasting
Announcement…..this is the final post for this novella!!!!
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The rest of the week passed as the snow storm did—cold, yet quick. We cherished the moments of fun at the Grant’s and tried to get as much as we could out of them. Saturday morning dawned crisp and clear, the snow still covering the ground and the winter sun shinning at its best. I stood by the window, watching Nathan and Noah have a snowball fight. Ned tapped me on the shoulder. He looked behind him and then delved in.
“Skating should be good, Annie. Want to try?”
“Oh, yes, Ned! Please!!”
“Get your skates and meet me at the barn, then,” he said. “This is a secret. Don’t tell anyone anything.” He smiled.
“You can trust me, Ned.” I flew upstairs for my skates.
Nellie was in the room when I dashed to my closet. “What in the world are you doing, Annie? Couldn’t you act more ladylike?”
“I am sorry, dear sister. What do you have there?” I flipped the question and dug around for the precious box. It was pink and contained my most respected belongings.
“Nothing much,” Nellie replied, suspecting nothing out of the ordinary. “I’m using up the rest of that wool yarn to make myself some mittens.”“Wool is the best to use,” I agreed as I pulled the skates from their box. I wrapped them in my scarf and exited the room. Next, I donned my riding skirt, shawl, mittens, and veil.
Ma looked up from her sewing. “Going out, dear?”
“Yes, Ma,” I replied.
Amanda, busily sewing her dress, didn’t even look at me. “I don’t see what the big hustle is about going outside in the snow. It’s so cold.”
Dismissing her comment, I left the house as quickly as I could and headed for the barn. Ned pulled me inside and shut the door. He was armed with his own skates, which were made of black leather.
“We’re going out the back door,” he said as he led the way. We trudged on in the bright snow past the logs, past the creek, past the bounds of home.
“Now, we are almost there. I took a round about way just in case anyone was on our trail,” Ned explained. He grasped my arm to help me along, since I was huffing and puffing a little. Then it appeared. The lonely little lake. It was disappointingly small, as Ned had implied before. Nevertheless, it was a pond and worth skating on. We slipped off our boots and tied on our skates. I cut through the snow and sank deep as I balanced my way to the pond.
“Wait, Annie, let me test it,” Ned cautioned, “I don’t want you falling in and dying of hypothermia.” He gingerly stepped onto the ice. Marvelously, it held. He jumped on the middle and nothing moved. “It’s rock solid.”
In a split second, I was coasting along beside him. It was a wonder to skate in the fresh open air. I glided, taking everything in. The south side of the pond had a very short beach but the north side was wide. Back and forth we went, merrily talking and laughing. Ned twirled me a few times and I managed to stay on my feet.
“Too bad we didn’t bring a lunch,” Ned said as he looked at the sun. “We better head back before the folks start worrying over us.”
“Didn’t you tell Pa?” I asked, surprised.“Of course, but he’s keeping it a secret too. One day we’ll bring the rest out here.”
A crackling and a crash startled us. I grabbed Ned’s arm and turned to look. My worst fear was that of a panther or a bear. It would be hungry. At first we didn’t see anything. Ned was a bit disgruntled, I could tell. He skated closer to the side of the pond where the noise came from. I followed him, too curious to hide out. We searched the bank but couldn’t find the source.
“Probably just a loose branch,” Ned said, although he wasn’t satisfied. Then came the sudden voice of a human being. A man’s voice. Unfamiliar too.
“I’m no loose branch!” he said in a jolly tone and emerged from the woods. “Excuse me for giving you a scare. Nobody need be frightened of Jefferson Diehl.” By this time he had stepped out onto the ice and was extending a hand to Ned. He was a young man, maybe twenty-five. He had curly brown hair and the same color eyes. Tall but not skinny, he was well dressed in a new suit and boots.
Ned shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, Jefferson. I’m Ned Adams and this is my sister Annie.”
Jefferson bowed respectfully. “It’s one thing to find a load of deer and a couple bear out in the woods. It’s quite another to find a brother and sister out on the ice! I have a nice little cabin built ten miles east from here. I’m camped about a mile away out on a hunting trip with a friend. He’s watching the horses and guarding the belongings while I check things out a little. Where are you located?”
Ned seemed quite interested. “I wonder if you aren’t from Greensburgh? But aside from that, we live just a half mile away. It’s definitely nice to see folks again from back East. One gets a little lonely and news hungry.” Ned laughed and I nodded.“About Greensburgh, I am not from that town but my friend is. He bought some land closer to this area. Once he gets settled, he’s going to send for his fiancee. I, on the other hand, am planning on batching in that cabin for a couple years.”
“What is his name?” questioned Ned. “Everyone knows each other in that town.” I waited expectantly.
“Harry Dodge.”
“Oh, my!” I exclaimed and Ned’s eyes opened wide.
“Harry Dodge!!”
Jefferson laughed. “So you know him?”
“Know him? Gee, we went to school together. I’m surprised at him that he didn’t mention us!” Ned cried.
I cleared my throat cautiously. “I don’t mean to be too nosy, but would you know the name of his fiancee?”
“A one, um, Mary Fischer, I believe,” he answered, running his fingers through his hair. “Yes, it’s Mary Fischer.”
“For the life of me, Ned Adams, I can’t be delighted enough. Mary is Martha Jane’s sister!” My eyes were shining with fierce joy. “To think that I could see Mary again is enough to set my heart on fire!”
Jefferson was a bit shocked. “A reunion, eh? I’ll go back right away and we’ll start off for your cabin. Maybe you’d better run home and tell your folks?” he smiled.
“Aw, I know what you want, Jefferson,” Ned grinned slyly. “You’re trying to get a good meal off of us, right?” He was, of course, only joking.
“Food for the laboring man. I haven’t had a woman’s cooking in several weeks and it sure would be nice. Only if your folks don’t mind,” Jeff explained, a little flustered.
“Jefferson, welcome home,” Ned said, pleased with the response his joke had produced. “I’m certain Ma won’t mind having company. We’ll hurry on home and spread the word. Only you keep your end of the bargain and bring Harry!!”
“Without a doubt, Ned.” Jefferson winked and took off.
Before long, I was tromping through the snow again with Ned, but this time, it seemed like I had wings on my feet. Once at the barn, we hid our skates and Ned went to find Pa. I, on the other hand, skipped to the house. Amanda was at the window and as soon as she saw me, she opened the door.
“Why, Annie! Isn’t it cold like I said? Hurry, I could use some help. Ma’s just finishing with her pies and then we’ll need to make some dinner. What shall we make?”
I undressed and replied, “Something special. We’re having company.”
At this, both Nellie and Ma whirled around to look at me. “What is this business of inviting people without telling me?” Ma put her hands on her hips.
“Ma, it’s alright. Amanda and I will do the dinner preparations. Ned and I were out and we met a man named Jefferson Diehl. In the course of speaking with us, we found out he had a partner with him, only he was back at camp. That man is none other than Ned’s school friend Harry Dodge from Greensburgh.”
Nellie sucked in her breath and Amanda looked stupefied. Ma slowly started to smile and take her hands off of her hips.
“And,” I continued, drawing out my words to make room for more expectation, “that’s not all the good news. Harry, so said Jeff, is getting settled not far from here. Then he’ll be sending for his fiancee.”
Whats, Whos, Hows, and Wheres erupted from Ma and my sisters. That’s what I had been waiting for. “His wife-to-be is none other than Mary Fischer, Martha Jane’s oldest sister!”
Nellie almost exploded in joy and Amanda sighed happily. Now it was Ma’s turn to be surprised. But she quickly said in motherly wisdom,“It doesn’t do to stand around, girls. We’d better get to work!” Efficient that we were, we soon had a delicious meal ready and prepared to welcome our guests. Ma let us change into nicer dresses, although she didn’t understand why such fuss was necessary. We made sure to straighten the house a bit as well.
Once again, the boys and Pa came in, bringing guests with them. This time, Jefferson Diehl and Harry Dodge stepped across the threshold and into our cozy home.
“Well, well, here we are,” Pa said. “Meet my wife and daughters, Diehl.” Jefferson sent me a secret wink and proceeded again to politely bow. Harry shook our hands like the old friend he was and I couldn’t help but notice how much taller he was than Ned. After Pa blessed the food, conversation began, and surprisingly, Amanda was quite talkative.
“How are things back home, Harry?” she asked for all of us.
“Just the same as when you left, I suppose, although all of Greensburgh felt it when you all set off for the West. The Fischer Family sends their greetings and so do all at Greensburgh. The governor said he missed Noah’s playing at the last dance.” Harry looked at Noah, who colored slightly.
“Thank you, Harry,” he managed.
“And I hope you’ve been able to keep up with it?” Harry wondered.
“Quite recently I was able to get a violin of my very own. I’ll play for you after dinner.”
“Splendid!” Jefferson cheered and Harry nodded.
“I should mention also that Mr. Fischer is planning on moving West as soon as business slows again. Mary was quite disappointed at the notion of going into the wilderness without others close by, seeing she has a very outgoing, friendly personality,” Harry went on. He looked out the window, probably thinking of his Mary. “So, we soon could have a little community out here.”
I smiled, thinking of Martha Jane and how excited she must feel. Amanda and Nellie seemed lost in their own thoughts. Noah and Nathan were listening intently to Jefferson as he began a story of the game trip that he and Harry were taking. Ned carried on a conversation with Harry, which most of us were following. It seemed as though folks were starting to get interested in the vast acres of land that Uncle Sam offered.
“The government says that twenty-one is the youngest a man can buy land at,” Harry told us. “I had Jefferson sign the papers and then I bought the land from him, since, of course, I’m not quite twenty-one yet.”
“Gracious!” exclaimed Ma, but she said nothing more.
“One would think you’d be a little more honest, there, Harry,” Ned said, somewhat disturbed.
He shot back, “What, was I supposed to lie and say I was twenty-one when I wasn’t?”
“No, but you could have waited to buy it from Jefferson until you were 21.” I suggested. “That wouldn’t have made him conduct under the table business.”
“Just like Mary,” Harry said laughingly. “She’s always keeping me in check. I say everything’s gonna be fine. Before long, all the earth is going to be swallowed up by man and most of it will be in the hands of the wicked and proud. We might as well get some of it while it’s available.”
“You have a point there, Harry. I’d be careful, though. Wicked and proud men start out as young, innocent entrepreneurs seeking fortune. It’s a hateful business, but it happens. I’ve seen it with these two eyes of mine.” Pa nodded and I knew exactly who he was talking about. He often told the story of his brother-in-law who he grew up with and went to school with. Together they romped and played in the fields, worked hard, and eventually rose to manhood and had families of their own. One man was content to toil for his work and brought in decent income to support his growing family. That man was Pa. The other squandered his money, left his wife, and sought his fortune by traveling to California for gold. He turned into a wicked man and eventually was killed in a duel. Poor Uncle Clyde, I thought sadly as Pa continued to discuss matters on the present subject. And poor Aunt Naomi! She bore the burden for many years. Thankfully, she had met Harvey and he had brought restoration to her life after Uncle Clyde’s death.
I was thrust into reality when Ma rose from the table and motioned for us girls to start clearing. Noah disappeared and I knew he was going to get his newly acquired violin. Quickly, I helped clear the table and then I began to wash the dishes. Thankfully, Nathan had brought water in before the meal. Pa engaged Jefferson in discussion about something and Ned joined. Harry aimlessly strolled about, glancing around the room at the various articles. Amanda hurriedly put the food away in the pantry and Nellie helped me by drying. In good order, we were finished and all the while we had been listening to Noah as he, to the enjoyment of all, played song after song. Swiftly, his fingers flew over the strings yet he looked perfectly calm. I thought there couldn’t have been a better player.
Before Jefferson and Harry left, they promised to be back. They told us that their hunting trip would last another few days and that soon they would be passing by our cabin once again. Right as Harry stepped out the door, he suddenly turned and said, “Where’s Annie?”
I advanced towards him, wondering all the while what I could have done.
“Here,” he said, drawing out an envelope. “This is from Martha Jane. I almost forgot it! She would have been quite upset if I hadn’t remember. Thankfully I did.” I took the envelope and my smile grew larger and larger.
“Thank you so much, Harry!” I said, too happy to say more. The men left and I rushed up to my room and flopped on my bed. Even though I felt like taring it open, I made myself carefully slit the envelope and pull the letter out slowly. Nellie peaked in the door but then she must have thought again for she slowly shut to door and left me to myself, for which I was expressly glad at the moment. I opened the folds of the letter and began to read. It was like picking up a journey that seemed to have ended long ago. Now, here I was. Although it wasn’t face to face, I thought I could see Martha Jane and I, hand in hand, skating down the long pond and sharing news.
“Dearest Annie Adams,
Today is one of those days that I wish I could spend with you. The sun is shining gaily, beckoning me to come outside and breath in the lovely air. The sky is blue and only an occasional puffy, white cloud floats by in perfect quite. Only, one thing is missing and that is you. And so, now that I have some free time, I am going to write to you and pretend that you are hear beside me and that we are twirling around on our skates. Here, however, we can talk in peace. No Benjamin Pricker to throw stones in front of us….remember those good days? I’d take his teasing any day (for he as since acquired a rather gentlemanly attitude as of late) to see you again, Annie! But forgetting, that, I’ll start writing about the happenings that have occurred here since you left. Of course I can’t give you every detail for that task would take until Harry leaves us to go see his land (which is in two weeks) or longer! So, here I will begin.
I finished school before I turned sixteen. The teacher graduated me early and retired. I took the test and came higher than the others, thrusting me into the seat of teacher. It’s been quite the task of controlling the students as you know I am of a very fair personality and not one to strike quickly. Five new families have moved in and the store is very busy. I am helping Pa on Saturdays and boy does it buzz in that place. We would build it a little bigger but one thing stands in the way which I shall explain later. The Filligners now live in your old house. Poor Mr. Gamble died in the winter and his son sold the place to them. They have a loud bunch of children but Nancy Fillinger is the sweetest of them all. She and I skate together but no one can take the place of you. I have told her all about you. The governor hosted another dance at his castle last Thursday. It was daintily adorned with good food, plenty of town folks, and music. Nothing I heard that night even began to sound as good as Noah’s playing. I hope he keeps it up. It’s been so wet here. Rain is too prevalent.
The biggest news from our house is that…well, I’ll start with the second best. Mary is now engaged to Harry. He plans to take her with him when his house is built in the wilderness. Perhaps he told you all of this already. But she, of course, isn’t too thrilled about that. Leaving everything she’s known in all of her nineteen years; family, friends, school mates, etc. Harry is overly enthusiastic about the prospect, however, and Mary fiercely can’t give him up. So, it has been settled. And here comes the best. We are moving West! Yes, Annie, Pa has decided to move West. Don’t be surprised if we come rolling along and bump into you someday. It will be some time yet before we start out but we are coming! I hope you have found some friends out there and that there is a good place for skating. Tell Nellie I miss her. Write soon if you can and send the letter along with Harry before he comes back home. Unfortunately, the wedding is set to be held here at Greensburgh, but we could have another party when we come out. I’ll miss you there, for I know Mary would have picked you to stand beside me at the wedding. She admires you and all your sisters greatly and that is a fact. We shall have to have another dance like we had at the governor’s house.
Stay well and don’t give up heart. I shall see you again sooner than later.
With love,
Martha Jane Fischer
I snapped the letter shut, hid it under my pillow with the envelope, and appeared back downstairs. Nellie gave me that “Please let me” look, so I told her where she would find that letter and off she sped.
“What did Martha Jane have to say?” questioned Ma as she sat doing her knitting. I picked up a sock that was in the making and began to work on the heel. Socks were such tedious things.
“Oh, she mentioned Mary’s engagement. She also said that they do indeed plan to move out here themselves sometime in the near future. She also said that the governor hosted another dance.”
At this, Amanda looked up. “Did he? That must have been delightful.”
“Yes, but Martha is looking forward to coming out here so we can have one together.” Ma and Amanda laughed. “She also said that a new family lives in our old house. I guess Mr. Gamble passed away and his son sold the place.”
“Did he?” Ma gasped. “I wonder what the cause was. I can see why his son wanted to get that house out of his mind.”
“I know,” I agreed sadly, recalling the fond old man Mr. Gamble was. Even though he had such a froward name, he was a kind man and like a grandpa to us.
“Who lives there now?” Amanda asked curiously.
“A family by the name of…., um, I think it was…..”
“Fillinger,” came Nellie’s merry voice as she came into the room. She took a seat beside me and her fingers, too, became busy.
“Yes, Fillinger, that’s right.”
“Fillinger, that name sounds quite familiar. My old neighbor was a Fillinger,” Ma contemplated as yellow yarn flew from between her fingers and appeared in the shape of a growing mitten.
“It’s a small world,” Amanda said, eyes glowing. “I find it such joy to hear from the Fischers. I can’t believe Mary is engaged to Harry. Life goes by so quickly.”
“You will be twenty in a month, dear,” Ma said. “And Annie, we can’t forget her. She’ll be seventeen next week on the twelfth. My girls!” She exclaimed.
I covered my smile and bent over the sock. Life was always ticking. That thought made me look up at the grandfather clock that we had managed to bring with us. It had been a wedding gift to Pa and Ma from Mr. Gamble himself. Its swinging pendulum rocked back and forth and the hands read one o’clock. I put the sock down and decided to see what the boys were doing.
Ma shook her head but let me go.
“One doesn’t stay young forever, Ma,” Amanda said, “I’ll take care of supper tonight.”
I flashed her a grateful smile and sang as I went out the door. The air was crisp. At first, I couldn’t hear anything. The land had a silent grip on it. Then, it was broken by a shrill whistle. I looked up and sucked in all the cold air that I could manage. For in that moment, Ned, Nathan, and Noah were flying towards me in a….well, a sleigh. A real sleigh. I thought it was all a merry dream as I strained to see them. But no, this was no dream. Ned brought Thunderbolt to a handsome stop beside me and gave the reigns to Nathan.
“Steady now, boy,” he said, voice calm and courteous. Thunderbolt nodded his head in obedience and stood there. Nathan was smiling in deep pride at me as I tried to take all the information in. A sleigh. Nathan holding Thunderbolt’s reigns. Noah, still as a mouse, perched on the side.
Ned stepped out and took off his hat. “Ma’am, I assume you’d like a ride?” and he bowed most professionally.
Playing along, I curtsied. “Most assuredly, I would enjoy a ride, sir. Well, as long as it doesn’t cost much.”
“Free for whom the sleigh was made,” Ned said and took my hand. He helped me in and Noah and Nathan squeezed as far left as they could. Finally it was decided that Nathan would sit at our feet and Noah would stay on the edge. Ned clucked to Thunderbolt, who needed no further persuasion, and we soon were off, flying, or so it felt, across the cold, frozen earth. I had never felt so free and happy as I did that day. After a while, the boys got off and Ned and I we were left alone.
“Here, let me drive,” I said as I reached for the reigns. Thunderbolt seemed to sense that I was driving, for he led on gently. “I don’t wish to be anywhere else right now, Ned,” I said in deep appreciation and sincerity. “This is joy overflowing.”
He smiled and offered a toast. “May we live to the fullest and enjoy all of our God given breath to the end.”
That night as my family gathered around the table, I thought that I couldn’t have been more blessed. Good food, hard-working Pa and brothers, wonderful Ma and amazing sisters, kind neighbors and friends, the Bible to read, a sturdy, warm house, and work to do filled my life. And I couldn’t forget the hand crafted sleigh to enjoy, made by my own brother. What more could I wish for? But Martha Jane was coming. Soon we would have a little settlement etched into this vast wilderness. Life was blessed. And so was I.
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Author’s Note: Am I wrong to suspect that most of you are the kind of people who love to know what happens after the story? ;):) I dedicate the next few lines to you.
A wagon appeared in the Adam’s clearing the next spring. This was the Fischers. Annie was delightfully reunited with her long lost friend, Martha Jane and they spent many happy years together. Yes, Ned eventually told everyone the secret about the pond and many a good time was had skating on that strip of frozen water. The Fischers built a cabin about half a mile from the Adams. Harry and Mary made a home and had three little children. Jefferson didn’t batch long in his house, for Nellie joined him a year later to make his house a home. Amanda moved with her husband Adam Grant back East where they raised four children. About a year after Amanda’s marriage, Ma Adams had her last child, a little girl named Carrie Lynn. She was the pride and joy of the whole family. Eventually, she grew up, became a school teacher, and was the liveliest, happiest old maid the new settlement ever had. Two years after this story ended, Ned took his wife, Betsey (Grant), and moved farther West. They settled on a claim way out in the no-wheres and had six children. Betsey’s sister Grace married Robert Fischer, Martha Jane’s oldest brother. Martha Jane married a young settler named Conrad Higgins, who moved into the area after Robert and Grace were married. Nathan Adams never married but spent his life traveling the world, always engaging in adventure. Noah went on to be a renowned violinist. He moved back to Greensburgh and married a certain Cristina Fillinger. As for Annie, she married Jonath Grant at the age of twenty. They bought a portion of land not quite a half mile from their parents. It was full of giant, grandfather trees. But hard work or not, you could still see Annie, dressed in simple calico, making away with a log right along side her man. They built a magnificent home and raised five children. On the weekends in the winter, Annie and Jonath would take their children sleigh riding in the little sleigh that Ned had made. Soon the little unknown town was a small settlement, beckoning new comers to try out their skills. This concludes the Annie Adams story.
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January 6, 2023 at 2:04 pm #128098Anonymous- Rank: Wise Jester
- Total Posts: 76
Wow! And yes, I am the type of person who loves epilogues. Without them, I always wonder… did Annie marry Jonath? Was Jeffereson forever a bachelor? Now I have my questions answered!!
I think overall you did a great job making the characters realistic, a hard feat for sure!
January 7, 2023 at 12:48 am #128174Wow! This short story was amazing, kinda sad it ended XD
Like seriously, when you post a chapter, I like want to sit down and really enjoy the read. Thanks for the after information, I would have wanted to know what happened really bad! Glad she married Jonath, that whole thing was cute 😆 and the sleigh thing was super sweet and a great conclusion. Thank so much for sharing this with us, and best of luck on your future writing endevers!
- This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by MineralizedWritings.
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
January 7, 2023 at 6:32 pm #128259@booksandbeakers
And yes, I am the type of person who loves epilogues. Without them, I always wonder…
Me too!!!! 🤩
I think overall you did a great job making the characters realistic, a hard feat for sure!
Thanks a ton! 😍
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January 7, 2023 at 6:36 pm #128261kinda sad it ended XD
That’s the rough thing about writing short stories…you develop the characters…too soon the story ends but at the same time you want them to live on. 😃
Thank so much for sharing this with us, and best of luck on your future writing endevers!
Appreciate your encouragement! Next week I want to share some stories from my “Journey to the Past” series. More historical fiction but these ones are shorter.
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January 22, 2023 at 4:51 pm #129656I finally found time to read this!! (And I did so all in one sitting! *whew*)
It was AWESOME!!! I really enjoyed it!! It was super sweet and just an enjoyable read. It made me warm and fuzzy on the inside, if you know what I mean. 😉
I’ve always wanted to write a novel (or series) that’s just a slice of life. Like Anne of Green Gables and the rest of the series. It’s just super sweet and you love the character so much that you don’t want to leave them when it ends. My two dream novels that I really hope to write someday are: slice-of-life (Anne of Green Gables-like) and a fantasy epic. XD
Thanks for enduring that quick rant. XD
Anyway, great job!! Keep on writing!
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
January 24, 2023 at 9:11 pm #129936Thanks for enduring that quick rant. XD
Anyway, great job!! Keep on writing!
Appreciated the comment!!!! Thanks so much and glad you enjoyed it!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
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